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Let me preface this by saying that I know you think this is unnecessary. I would beg to differ.

I owe a few apologies, mainly to you. When I met you, I had a handful of bad habits. I drank too much. I drank too often. I was anti this and anti that. Nearly radicalized. All of that is behind me now. That lifestyle was necessary then, just like it's impossible now. The fact that I lashed out at you still remains. I was hurt, sour and vocal & I apologize. I am quite sure you found my messages to be equal parts awkward, annoying and perhaps even alarming. Credit to you for never blocking me.

In my defense, any messages from the last 1,000 days I should get a pass for. I was pretty sure something had happened to you and they would never be read. It was cathartic for me, honestly. I'm not afraid to admit I actually grieved. I thought I remembered it being a step by step process, and sure as hell when I looked it up, it was spot on.

Losing you as a friend was never not going to hurt. You don't know the imbeciles I had to weed through to find you. With everything you say being so relevant, pertinent and eloquent. The magic you created with your hands. How good you treated your friends. The great taste you had in music. Your great sense of humor. Your propensity for critical thinking. I don't waste my time with cinema or books or music that doesn't teach me something or make me better, somehow. Like philosophy. Now imagine finding all that in a real life, flesh and blood person. For me that's a match made in Heaven. I remember telling you that if I had known falling for you would have disqualified me from being your friend, I never would have done it. That was foolishness. I was powerless to stop that.

I know I apologized at the time for bringing that girl to this site pretty much as soon as I did it. I actually apologized to both of yinz. That was, for lack of a better term, an accident. I saw her on Reddit and complimented her on her smile and she said, "Thanks, but I'm actually pretty dark.". I said ,"Does that mean you're already on VR?"

I explained what it was to her and she joined straightaway. The whole interaction took under 5 minutes. Sorry to you both.

That brings me to pink power armor girl. I wish I could say I don't know why you blocked me, but I have an inkling. It's whatever. I never hit on you. You never hit on me. We could have had a ton of fun gaming. You actually remind me of an angrier, younger, less intelligent female me. I even prayed for you while you were in the hospital. Oh well. What can ya do?🤷🏻‍♂️

So apparently I had an interaction with some guy on here's wife. Partner, I wholeheartedly apologize for that. To my knowledge, I had not chatted with her at any point before or since that. The only reason it even happened was because she said something that made me have to entertain the possibility that she was the girl i so badly miss from here. Way, way, way too drunk. Apologies to the Mrs, as well. I hope yinz are still together and happy.

So, yeah. I probably should have apologized a long time ago, but it's hard, ya know? I had thoroughly and completely embarrassed myself. But that was 1,000 days ago and I am resilient as men come.



I, fairly recently, was asked by a few obvious trolls why I had joined this site. There's a lot of you motherfuckers here. I would call you cunts, but I know you lack the depth and the warmth. Anyhow, I answered them both, truthfully. I said I was hoping to meet a woman. That was back in 2010, when I had just gotten myself out of a rut and had just taken 5 years off from women, because I was unfit. Unbeknownst to me, I was unfit from 2017-2022 as well. Like i said, I am resilient. I am ready to get back out there, again.

Without name dropping to blow up your spot or anything...P, I cannot thank you enough. I would have eventually gotten healthy on my own, but the warmth and openness you exhibited with me only expedited the entire process. I could not rightfully maintain the stance I had about dating and women after meeting you. It just felt wrong and stupid.

To the asshole going around saying I was a pedophile, shame on you, you lying prick. If I thought for one second that your bullshit had anything to do with her not talking to me anymore, I would make you my own little personal project. I have ample free time and next to nothing better to do.

P, if you're reading this, I hope you can look past my being inane. I am sure there are other people here that miss you and everything that you bring to the table. I, for one, know that I am missing out on a ton. I would have jumped through metaphorical hoops to retain you as a friend. I finally have my passport and 3 people to travel with, and I just know that you would have paid immense dividends, from afar of course, when I make it to Europe. You would have been an invaluable asset. It's a shame, really. You really could and really have helped me.

You're still the last one to sing happy birthday to me. I listen to it, every year. I'm outta here, now, but know that I always keep the memories of you with me. From now until the end of my days, whenever I play a D&D rpg, there will be a female cleric in my party, named after you. You'll always have a friend in me, sweet P.💙
Happy anniversary.🌹


DD