The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

There is a god
16:27 Oct 31 2005
Times Read: 618

So luckily my blind date got cancelled b/c I got called into work. I was like thank you lord! B/c i so didn't want to go. Ne ways, so i called Jerome and told him the situation and he was like "you can't go into work, tell them you are going out with the hottest guy ever" Yeah! Sure. His friends came in b/c he was too pussy to come in himself. And they tried talking to me but I was busy so I just basically ignored them. Which was funny. They looked like Yo boys. I was like oh no!

The good side to this tale is that this guy i work with decided out of the kindness of his heart that he would save me. So he took me out for a beer and thus the date got cancelled. Sort of. Either way it was way better than having to hang out with Jerome. Whom I might add keeps calling me, but yet he doesn't really care much for my life style and who i am. Bastard.

Damn my big mouth
19:25 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 617

I agreed to go on a damn freaking blind date! Yeah I dont know what i was thinking at the moment that i did this. I talked to the guy last night on the phone and he was like "i'm cute" and blah blah blah... I was thought to myself this guy is an ass. He is arrogant and full of himself. I hate people who are like that. UGH what have i done. We are supposed to go somewhere tonight and i'm hoping to make a horrible impression him so he'll never talk to me again. Or at least get the hint that i'm not interested. I dont want a relationship... Why does everyone feel compelled to hook me up? Beside the people i want to date don't live in the same state as I anymore so... Well one of them never lived in the same state, he lives in a different country. But I'll never tell where. As if it is obivious. I'm such a dumb ass. I'm hating life right now b/c of this. I swear i'm never going to drink and answer stupid questions ever again. DAMMIT!!

Ok God has just entered the building
01:34 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 631

I dont know how you are doing this but... Its pretty freaking cool. I must say you have me in complete awe.



And for those reading this besides the intended person, dont ask b/c its none of your freaking business! Not that you would but still.



Have a nice day!

I get it
01:18 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 639

You'll read them but you wont say anything to me about them b/c you dont want me to know you are almighty... I know your secret!!!

This is a test
01:16 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 641

This is a test and only a test of the emergency broadcasting system. Are freaking psyhic or something!! Powers my ass!!! You are controlling the universe aren't you?

Daire actually does rate people!! Amazing!
01:00 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 644

Trying is the first step towards failure.





Daire

13:51:01

Oct 30 2005



Yeah try that one out for size. I dont know what it means but, all i know is that he rated my profile. Actually i dont care that he rated it, I do care that he left a comment. You guys just dont even understand how much i love this guy! He is so great! And how much this means to me!!! Thank you Daire!!

Lol! He is great!
00:03 Oct 30 2005
Times Read: 653

From:



Daire

BATMAN ROCKS!!!!

I stole this from Daire
04:52 Oct 29 2005
Times Read: 655


Which Horrible Affliction are you?A Rum and Monkey disease.



Transmitted by direct contact with one of your infections (usually through unprotected sex), you're one nasty STD! In your initial stages, you cause sores, usually on the genitals or in the rectum, but that's only the delicious beginning. Later on, you'll cause a rash, and then slip away ... but you won't be gone. No no, my friend. You're far too cunning. ( i'm cunning, check it out Cavan!!)



You'll still pass yourself on to anyone the poor soul you've infected has sex with (anal, vaginal or oral), and you'll start to erode their muscles and nerves! In fact, you'll eventually lead, if left untreated, to malcoordination, blindness, paralysis, dementia and then death!



And that's not all - if you infect a pregnant women, you'll also be passed to their child! A single shot of penicillin will kill you, but shhhhh .. I won't tell anyone if you won't.

Ha yeah!
04:25 Oct 28 2005
Times Read: 659

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

James is your soulmate.

You truly love Cavan.

You consider Cavan your true friend.

You know that Warren is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Tim for the rest of your life.

You secretly think James is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Cavan is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Warren is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Warren changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Tim is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Tim has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

My response. I think i finally made the right choices..
16:59 Oct 27 2005
Times Read: 661

Pooing bear,

I've had the worst morning since i started working for starbucks, and now i'm scared i may have lost my job. Two reasons, i had class today that i had to go to and of course when i told my mom she was like let me get the directions for you. And knowing this would be a bad idea i listen anyways. she has this way of always being wrong. Of course she gave the right directions but its was in the opposite direction of the way Jack told me to go. So i'm driving around in rush hour traffic trying to find this target and starbucks and of course i didn't. So i called the lady and was like how far away am I and she was like your going in the wrong direction. So i turned around.. I was already late and I can't go in after 10 minutes of the beginning of the class, something to do with ground rules for the class. So I was already ten minutes late and i called my boss, he wasn't there. So i called my mom. she tried to give me directions but couldn't and so she put some other lady on the phone. She was like where are you? I have no idea!! So i started to describe the places around me and as i was about to pull out of the parking lot i saw that damn starbucks. I was already 20 to 25 minutes late so it was too late. So i know where its at but i couldn't go. I'm sitting here waiting for Jack to call me back so i can tell him what happened. this sucks. I'm so freaking out right now. I'm like shaking b/c this is my dream basically. This fucking sucks!! As for that guy who is my speed, no.... He did even really look at me when i came in nor did he introduce himself like the others did. He has a girlfriend.. And he isn't my speed. Like as in i dont have a chance in the world. Nor would i want one b/c he's not my type. If you want me to just say i dont have feelings for you and make up some story about some guy i can. Well i do have a story about a guy that i've been friends with for a long time, 4 years or so. he lives in texas. We talked on the phone last night. he's crazy! He's funny but also weird. I like him though. He seems pretty cool, he makes me laugh a lot. And get this he even knows what email is. I was amazed. Here all this time i thought i was the only one. I talked to bryce last night. That was fun... He's so hooked on either hooking up with me or bashing himself i guess so i will feel sorry for him. I dont b/c he's acting childish. I swear if you make any comment about me being childish i will be extremely mad. As for my what the fuck are doing letter. I had one for last night but I got caught up in these stupid instant messages from everyone and their momma. That i didn't really have time to think more into it. IT was going to be more like a poem then a letter.



When you give someone freedom.. And they dont want it... Do you keep them or still set them free?



Good question huh? I know you wont respond to half of this email, I dont even know why i send these things. I'm upset that you didn't even mention talking to me in your oh so busy weekend of hanging out with Lacy and sleeping. A part of me just wants to say no more... b/c this week has really shown me something... And another part of me wants to say i hate you and this stupid shit you keep pulling b/c you obviously dont want to be alone. So you kept me near when she wasn't there and now that she is you dont want to let go, but yet you dislike her so much.. And you dont need me anymore. I dont hate you.. The anger in me says i do right now, but i dont... Now whether my feelings for you are as strong as they were a week ago i dont know. I'm mad at myself and god. Again for all the same reason except theres more. No need to go into details. Like i said skimming this email is good for the brain, and keeps the heart two steps closer to the door. Meaning... You dont read this all the way you skim, and thus it keeps you from having to answer stupid questions. I've mention so much in the past few days that you haven't acknowledge and it hurts so. I guess i just wont send emails anymore, maybe then i'll get an A+ on my failing test that cavan has bestowed upon me.



How about you just let me know when you are ready... I know you are going to say okay.. And i know that this will be the last email i get from you, and i will never hear your voice on the phone again. plus i will never see you either.. But i'm okay with it. b/c it never really meant anything to you anyways.



I have no soul, i threw it away, b/c what's the point if all it does is hurt and bring me to these ghastly depths? As for you being a soldier, the only reason why you are is b/c the government say so.. (that's the what the fuck are you doing comment, its a good one)



And as i feel the tears coming on, I can honestly say its okay... Only i hold the key to my happiness. Why i ever thought i could rely on someone else to help when i couldn't i have no idea. Stupid Jessica assuming again. I told bryce i was moving to either washington state or alaska when I get enough money saved up and finish school. So i can be around the trees and nature like here but hopefully smaller and Away from everyone... Alone to live a life of solitude.. Like emily dickenson. Yeah that sounds nice.



oh well i'm ending this. Know that i miss you very much... And still love you with all my heart...

Good night, sweet dreams, and sleep good.



Forever your little penguin,

Jumbawambee



*You say you feel like you lost everything and life doesn't seem worth living anymore, but think about it... What would happen if you lost everything.. Including me.*



*When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?



Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you



High up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

If you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth*

coldplay- fix you

James emails me
16:57 Oct 27 2005
Times Read: 662

To Jumbeewambee,



What it wasn't good enough, well I figure is they do not poo then they must be the mad ones. Better to be pooing bear then constipated bear. Any who, so it is only married men!!! Just kidding. But it is strange. The one guy who look young sounds like your speed. There you can have your age and since he looks young you can still be a child molester!!!! I did not fuck anything up tonight "YAAAAA" One more night then I can sleep for the whole weekend. these 11 hour sifts for 5 days are killing me. I told the dude last night this is why I quit my last job!!That is pretty much it for today good night and sweet dreams and sleep tight. One last thing I have one of my white T-shirts on!!!!!!!!Until then jumbee.





Your best friend,



James





You have soul and I am a soldier!!!!!!!!

my wonderful friend Cavon!
16:44 Oct 26 2005
Times Read: 670

Me and cavan were talking about porn and he decided he was going to go into the porn industry. lol.. Here is the quote from his new major motion porno pic.



Its called Ladder 69.. He a firefighter and I'm the victim.



Cavan busts into my room and says.

"I heard that there was a fire... A fire in your loins"

ME- "Your insane"

Cavan- "wait'll you see my hose"



Lol, it was so funny when we were driving down the road making this up. I still laugh to this day about it.

not much here
04:52 Oct 23 2005
Times Read: 673

lonely as shit!!! i was thinking of posting an email from james... just so you could see what he's been doing to me.



To The Great Jumbawammbee,





Hi! Jessica!!!! Lobster, I am jealous!! Now you have to have the steak and lobster together!! To get straight to your questions because I know you and you never stop thinking!!! First thank you for the e-mails:) Ok your questions in the order they were received: 1, Do you think we have a chance together, truthfully, I do not think about that. But since you asked me to think about it, I really do not know, half of me wants to, the other half wants you to go and explore life. Do not get tied down, see everything, do lots of things. You deserve it. You and me are some what alike, so if you do not seize the opportunity to do great things then you will regret them. I have done a lot I am sorry for that and that I do not have that much energy or money to do things at this moment. The things I have done and seen I have done them by my self, how I wish I could have enjoyed your company while doing them they are my memories to hold on to, that way take for instances, if I had done them with Lacy, then when I look at those times they would bring up her, but since she was not there they are good ones and they are about the place and things not about who I was with. Does that make sense? Any way point being I do not want to hold you back. No that does not mean I do not want you it means I want the most for you.



2), 3) Do I really miss you? Do you really have to ask that? Yes I really miss you!!!! There's nobody here to rub my back (LOL)!!!! Yes I really do miss you Jessica!!!!!!! Your goofiness, your smile, the way you look at me and how red in the face you get while you are around me, and the way you make me feel confident in my self.



4) Will I come and see you, yes eventually I will come and see you, of course why wouldn't I?



5) How am I so strong? What does not kill us makes us stronger!! For one jumbawambee, I have been where you are, I have seen the things and be through the things you have been through and much worse, so I know you will be ok. I know I will be ok. I have been places were people could get killed, so if nobody can get hurt then it is cake!!! For years I had to take care of 12 people in the army 24 hour a day no time to think of my self, also in life I had to deal with life in general so I had to be tuff and strong that was the only way, Just knowing that you are ok makes me able to get through another day!!! Think of it like this after you get yourself back together, how much strong will you be?



6) How can I hold you up with out falling is a better question, it is easy Jumbawammbe, when you care for somebody as much as I care for you it is easy, to answer the following question, the love and care I have for you makes you as light as a feather. In reality you are heavy as hell!!! (LOL)





That is all the questions Jumbawammbee, I hope I did not get it all messed up and you do not take it out of context, I do miss you , and I hope you enjoy the chance you have been granted, do great things, get things done, and do not forget to call and e-mail me!!!! I am not saying even though it sounds like I am saying goodbye, I am saying until then, like see you later I will see you again, do not worry about that. I miss you, and I will always be here for you.







Until then Jessica,



Your Bestest Friend in the whole wide world,



James





Yeah and then he says all this other crap to just lead me on.. Me and cavan are testing this whole theory. And i'm not allowed to call him for at least a week, but i figured i would just wait till he called me. Yeah!! Cavan you are the best, just in case you are reading this. Oh yeah you suck balls too, and victors at that! love you cavan