The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Just remember to show your teeth,
Grin and bare until you seeth,
Keep pushing for tomorrow as it screams today,
Rattled until my mind gives way,

Just keep on doing what your told,
You don't want to loose stay bold,
Never feel the heat or cold,
Never stops beyond old,

That pulsing,
throbbing,
Screaming,
Stabbing,
Burning,
Yearning for my skates,
Yearning for my baits,
Yearning for anything outside these walls,

Then at the lake sun melts my eyes
Then out watching my girls it pushes inside,
Past the pain,
Past my brain,
Past everything holding me sane,

The more I can do the more she wants
The more I can move the more she taunts,
The more I get better the more she screams,
I can't even escape in my dreams,

So tired I never want to get up,
So exhausted I want to be tough,

So smile and wave show you are kind,
Pushing away your eyes crying,
Pushing away the sound is pounding,
Pushing away the crippling burning,

Just to be normal for a morning,
No time to be damaged got to keep going,
Laying down hurts,
Standing up hurts,
Sitting down hurts,

But I must get better soon...
Or am I punished for being awkward loon...

I wish to stay in dreams yet never find sleep...

I want to be cared for but get treated like a song on repeat...

The friend faces leave for better worlds,
So happy for them but conversation will be absent.

Back to the roar of complications,
I am bubbling inside my own skull,
Convince itself that it's not hurt but full,

Give smiles and kindness to those I meet,
And then return crumpled back to my seat,

The world is burning but I only can stand by,
Talking to someone who texts me to silence,

This place looks so familiar a repeat pattern,
Like pounding sand through tiny hole,
Then I am smiling just to hide,
Then I am smiling to get by,

How many others are doing the same
I wish to help give them love to release pain,
But only standing improves the game,
And the fights so long I feel lame,

I love this world in natural form,
Stuck inside I never am reborn,
I'll dream of woods,
I'll dream of meadows,
I'll dream of being in the secret pews,

Where nature is queen and my body consumed,
But I can't even see them in person anymore,
I am only allowed the cleaning and board,

No foraging,
No freedom I am swimming upstream,
All I wanted was to preform waking what was in my dreams,

Yet this world punishes what people see as impossible...

Then scream behind glowing teeth,
Grit and bite down so I can break free,
Figure out what that glow is inside,
And blow on it keeping that ember alive,

Providence is for manipulating,
Passion a trap articulating,
Then pain seems for nothing but faulty wiring,
Ask what for and you'll soon be smiling...

As each person walks past,
As each minute ticks on,
As closer to the end you crawl,

Smile to all the world ...
They won't see that pain you're hiding
...


Sean Stutzman