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In the quiet Darkness where no one goes,

I lay there staring at the wall,

In my room,

I leave the door locked because I don't want anyone to come in,

They don't get me,

They don't understand or know me,

Sure, they know my name but It's just a word,

They don't really know who I am,

I used to like other people,

I let them in my room and I was happy,

It was bright and loud,

But then they either died or faded away,

And now I have no one,

It's dark and quiet,

and I don't want anyone to ever come in again,

I wouldn't be able to stand the eternal agony,

of getting to know them,

to starting to like them and getting attachedm

only to be abandoned again,

To be alone,

but I am alone now,

and it's not so hard,

I've gotten used to it,

Because I've been alone for so long,

It's a part of me.

My life is so empty

there is nothing for me here

I need someone to hold

to hug

to kiss

to be my everything

but it hurts so much

because theres nobody there

Nobody to tell me everything will be ok

to tell me to stop crying when Im feeling sad

to protect me when im in danger and to make me feel safe

Theres nobody.

Nothing.

Only darkness to comfort me

the drugs dont work

the therapy is bullshit

nothing works

Im fucked in the head

and im alone

so alone

I cry and I cut

and I beg others to just forget

everything about me

that im selfish

an asshole, that I am just

such a horrible person

and spend 5 minutes with me

to talk

to actually pretend im a real person

I need closure

I need someone

please

just a few minutes to feel like Im loved

I cant stand the eternal agony

the feeling that I cant breathe

it hurts so much