In the quiet Darkness where no one goes,
I lay there staring at the wall,
In my room,
I leave the door locked because I don't want anyone to come in,
They don't get me,
They don't understand or know me,
Sure, they know my name but It's just a word,
They don't really know who I am,
I used to like other people,
I let them in my room and I was happy,
It was bright and loud,
But then they either died or faded away,
And now I have no one,
It's dark and quiet,
and I don't want anyone to ever come in again,
I wouldn't be able to stand the eternal agony,
of getting to know them,
to starting to like them and getting attachedm
only to be abandoned again,
To be alone,
but I am alone now,
and it's not so hard,
I've gotten used to it,
Because I've been alone for so long,
It's a part of me.
My life is so empty
there is nothing for me here
I need someone to hold
to hug
to kiss
to be my everything
but it hurts so much
because theres nobody there
Nobody to tell me everything will be ok
to tell me to stop crying when Im feeling sad
to protect me when im in danger and to make me feel safe
Theres nobody.
Nothing.
Only darkness to comfort me
the drugs dont work
the therapy is bullshit
nothing works
Im fucked in the head
and im alone
so alone
I cry and I cut
and I beg others to just forget
everything about me
that im selfish
an asshole, that I am just
such a horrible person
and spend 5 minutes with me
to talk
to actually pretend im a real person
I need closure
I need someone
please
just a few minutes to feel like Im loved
I cant stand the eternal agony
the feeling that I cant breathe
it hurts so much
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