The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Sometimes we long to be in love and to meet someone that is perfect for us.Than sometimes we meet someone that is the bee's knee's and we wonder if it is a good idea to call that person or remain silent out of fear of being hurt and wounded by our own hearts I have always admired a girl from a far and was to frightened to say anything. Her name is Jessica and she is so wonderful, lovely, and I think she is someone that can make my life whole.

So why am I so fearful of speaking to her? I think it is because I tend to jump into the water with both feet (fully dressed). SHe tells me that she will always be honest to me and that she would never hurt me by her own means. But there is something in me that knows I do not deserve to be happy. Moments with her are more than anyone with my kind of life could ever hope to have. But the fear looms across my mind like a black shadow that clouds a summer's day with rain and thunder.

My heart has been shattered too many times for reason to get through. I look in a mirrior and think that no one should ever care about me, a foot soldier who only knows what he is told. To look into a mirror at my own image is to know all the evil that is really in my soul, sometimes fear checks the angery spirit and I think I might be too damanged to for anyone to fix.

Love was not meant for people like me, it is for the pure of heart not the likes of someone like me. To spend a life alone is a slef inflected sentence with no chance of parol, no time off for good behavoir. I smoke too much I drink too much, I am too much. A tired 26 yr old forced to live a life alone.

Hearing that I am more than I am makes me sad, cause I know i will most likely fuck things up and turn a pure heart into a broken one.

My old true friend right now is weed and two mean bastards both named Brian.How did I get to this point I wonder? My life has never been perfect, and now I am working for peanuts at some bleeding heart office. Being around bright young happy hippy kids is a fucking drag to the system, these fucking kids drive me nuts.World Peace is one of those idea's that impresses girls and like minded people. Yes it seem's that Peace is a fine thing, am I the only person that know's this is bullshit.

People are evil to say the least, we have been killing each other for millions of years and we are not about to giveit up. White people will still hate black people, and other way round. I am not saying this because I am some sick evil man, I say this becauce it is as sure as the grave. There is something noble about war stories and they will still go on and to be told, you can not have one with out there on some kind of level. If it is not one nation to another, than it is someone trying to control another.

Evil is its own business, just like Good. "Give Peace a chance." Oh Yeah, "Fire at Will". "Make love not peace" not bad "CRY HAVOC!!" Equally motivating, but one would not be there with out the other.