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So, I'm so frustrated right now, if I could actually lay down and die, I would. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY THANKFUL that I survived, but the pain is excruciating and unbearable.

On Sunday, June 15th, I had dropped my son off at my mom's house. The kids were going to see their daddy for Father's day. I went straight home, and less than an 8th of a mile home, heavy rain making visibility even worse, a dog the size of a Shetland Pony jumped out of the ditch on the right in front of the van. I swerved - regretting it now. I should have just hit the son of a bitch. I lost control of the van, almost regained control when a small puddle sent me into a spin and I hit the ditch. But wait...the worst hasn't even happened yet. I flipped the van 5 or 6 times. My seat belt came off and when the van finally stopped I'm in the back seat laying on the sliding door driver's side, the windows shattered so I'm laying on glass and there was nothing but briared plants as well. Im hurting but not sure why yet, im confused and disoriented. I try to sit up and pain is shooting through the entire right side of my body. My legs are resting on the roof of the van and there's blood everywhere. OH SHIT!!!!!! I try to move my foot and realize through the fog in my brain that my foot is flapping around with no support, the bone that's supposed to be attached to it has broken free and come through the skin in a compound fracture.

It's pumping out blood like someone turned on the kitchen faucet and I'm bleeding out waiting for help. If that's not bad enough, my knee is also pretty bad. I think I passed out at some point because the next thing I can remember is a fireman climbing into the van. I remember the pain of them stabilizing my ankle and my screams. They had to literally cut the roof of the van off to put me on the back board and lift me out. More screaming, because they didn't secure my broken knee. My entire body is one big bruise.

Even worse they get me on the meat wagon and cut off every stitch of clothing I had on, even after establishing im not hurt anywhere else but my right leg.The ONLY female in attendance besides yours truly was driving the ambulance. There's 15 men ...firefighters, state troopers and other EMTs and I'm buck ass naked...Oh joy! Not!!!!!!!! At this point I am losing consciousness and I'm waking up as they are pulling into the parking lot of Moses Cone hospital - because it's the closest trauma hospital. As they get me off the ambulance, I lose consciousness again. Several hours later I wake up in a room 5North room 25, my leg is cramping and the pain is so bad I'm screaming. There is this weird metal contraption screwed in holding my ankle and foot together. Thankfully my nurse came in armed with dilaudid and toradol to shoot in my I.V. and two pills for me to swallow of oxycodone, a muscle relaxer and another shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots. I passed out into dreamland and on Tuesday morning at 0745 was wheeled into surgery a second time. I have 5...yes I said 5 steel plates ....one on each side of my ankle, one in the front and the last 2 on each side of my knee. Plus pins and screws. They finally sent me home yesterday. I am to not move at all for the next 7 weeks, I couldn't even if I tried. I can't so much as lift my leg, it's got those plates that are almost 20 pounds extra weight each.....the only thing I can do is call my poor son in the room to shove a bedpan under my ass to pee. As if I wanted to traumatize him further by him seeing his mom's private parts....

So now I'm forced into early retirement, 7 weeks in the bed, and in a wheelchair, unclear whether I'll ever walk again. I'll be in physical therapy for at least 6 months or more.