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inflammation in the palate and throat, it really sucks...

today 22.11.2011 - its 4 year and 4 months with my girlfriend and now wife but also 4 months since the horrible massacre at Utøya and the bombing of the goverment building. So this day is happy and also sad..

Died 10th of october, 9 days after her birthday. She did not get to be 80 but she had a long life.. she lived for 79 years.. I miss her and i love her a lot. I want to thank her for preparing me that day for what was going to come, like my grandfather she told me in a dream. She reached out to make me see that she was there with us at her funural with the smallest thing. I love you my dear grandmother.

I started thinking about my teenage years, filled with well a lot of darkness and researching the paranormal and the occult trying to find out more about why i feel the way i feel, a connection to something i really don't know what is. I am not a crazy chick its just that i have felt so different since i was a small child , and no its not because i am gay, i can't explain. I am still trying to find out who i really am or as one of my friend said once.. what i am. and i am not thinking that i am some horrible monster from a hollywood film.. but everyone knows there are a lot more to us and the world then we know.