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The darkened sky

In my hands is a blood stained knife

I try to remember what happened

But I can't seem to think of it



I tremble in fear

I fear I may have killed someone

I look around no body…

So what happened?



Then I notice…

The shovel

I'm covered in dirt

What the hell did I do?



I look around

There is no one there

All I can do is scream

I fall to the ground and I cry



I lay there

I start to recall the night

I was so angry

I was being harassed



I pulled out the knife

And stabbed repeatedly

He made me so mad

It's all I could do



I curl up into a ball and cry

I call for help

No one comes

I realize what I did



I have to turn myself in

But I can't

I did it in self-defense

I thought he might kill me



I realize the sun is rising

Still I can't find the body

What the hell happened?

In the dead of the night

All I can do is think

All I can think of is you

And all we have been through



There has been four

Or five break-ups

All my fault

Every time I broke up with you



The first two times it was because of rumors

People telling me that

That you were cheating on me

With my ex-best friend



I know that when I broke up

With you I said it was because

I didn't want to be in a relationship

Or because I didn't think I was stable



Then the other times

I was telling the truth

I didn't feel right being in a relationship

I didn't feel stable



But no matter what happened

I was always in love with you

You have always meant everything to me

I never meant to break your heart



I know I did every time

And I have apologized for that

You know I love you

You're everything to me



I'm glad you asked me out again

I'm glad I said yes

It's been thirteen and half months

Since the first time I said yes

In the still night

I am dreaming

The dream I have every night

The dream where you leave



It starts off well

We are happy

Smiling, together

For what I thought would be forever



But then you leave

You don't call

You don't text

You don't message me



Then I see you

But you're with another girl

She's not me

She's beautiful



Long flowing hair

Tiny

Very pretty

Completely flawless



I hear you tell her

Tell her that you love her

I let out a cry

You turn around and see me running away



You chase after me

All you have to say is I'm sorry but it's over

I've fallen in love with someone else

I can't believe you would do this to me



I go home that day and cry my pain away

But the crying isn't enough

I need more to take the pain away

Something stronger



First I try to drink it away

Then I try to smoke it away with weed

Then I just try to sleep it away

None of that works



So I go to my last resort

Attempting to kill myself

I slice my wrists

I slice my ankles



Hell I even slice right over my heart

Then right before I die

I call you

I tell you what I did



You rush over

But you are to late

I'm dead

You cry



But then I wake up

I realize it was all a nightmare

I hope…

I it doesn't come true…



I couldn't live without you

I don't know what I would do if I found you…

Found you with another girl

I think it would actually kill me…

The night is dark

The moon is bright

In my hands is the most beautiful red rose

Your glistening smile



I see you standing

The moon behind you

All I can think is

What did I do to deserve you



It's been over a year now

We have had our ups and downs

But we made it



Our love is what kept me going

You say it's time

But I'm confused

What's it time for?



You take my hand

And walk me down a darkened path

To a beautiful river

The moon makes everything glisten



You lean in and gently kiss my forehead

All I can do is smile

I'm just so happy

Just to be with you



We are there all night

Soon we fall asleep

It's so cold

Yet so warm



The day is bright

The sun is huge

The rose is next to me

I awake to your smile

The day is bright

The sun is shining

You are there

And I am here



The sun is shining oh so bright

Your smile is glistening in the sunlight

You look amazing

So beautiful



Then you see me standing there

I look horrible

No make-up on my face

I haven't done my hair



You the most beautiful thing

Next to the most hideous thing

I don't' understand why you can even stand to be by me

Non-the-less be dating me



You look me in the eyes and tell me you love me

No matter what I look like

You say you are beautiful no matter what

No matter what I will always love you is what you say



All I can do is smile

You make me happy

I don't know what I did to deserve you

I wonder…



I can't think of anything I did

You say it's because I'm cute

I'm nice, pretty, sweet, everything

I'm so happy



The night is dark

The moon is full

You are there

And I am there

Suicide…

It's a powerful thing

It affects everyone in your life

Suicide….



Death…

It's powerful…but not as powerful as suicide

It only affects the ones in relation to the deceased

Death…



Love…

The most powerful emotion

Causes happiness, anger, joy, lust, sadness

Love…



Depression…

Dark, feeling alone, hated

Affects many

Depression…



See suicide doesn't just affect the ones you may want it to

It affects everyone

If you commit suicide it can even affect your school

Suicide affects everyone



Death isn't as powerful as suicide

Death only affects the ones that are related to the deceased

When someone dies that you know, it won't affect everyone around you

Death affects few



Love is a very powerful emotion

It can affect everyone you know

If you are in love, you can be happy, sad, mad, anything

Love can affect everyone around you



Depression affects you, your friends, and your family

You're in a slump

You don't want to do anything, you feel alone

Depression affects many.



These are all powerful emotions and or actions

All of different strengths

Yet there are more emotions and actions

These are just the most powerful ones

I see you standing in the mirror

Staring back at me

I look at my wrists…

Blood dripping



You look like you're about to cry

You just stare

I start to cry

I know you're disappointed



You're disappointed because it's been months

Since I last did this

But this time it's worse

Wide, deep, so much blood



You cry…I cry…

Soon I black out

I awake later in the hospital

They are telling me I tried to kill myself



You saved me

I try to understand why

I guess you do really love me

I try to remember what exactly happened



Everything is a blur

I remember you

I remember me

But all I can picture is you in the mirror

I used to be scared

But now I'm fearless

I used to be hated

But now I'm loved

I used to hate them

But now I have no problems

I used to be alone

But now I'm not because I have such great friends

I remember that night

The first night you kissed me

The night we started dating

It was the most amazing night ever



We were cuddling at the movie

Sadly it was at school

It was so much fun

It was also really random



Then after the movie we went by the church

And we just laid there

And talked

It was so cold



You were keeping me warm

I looked at you

You looked at me

You leaned in…



And kissed me

I didn't pull away

It felt so right

Then we had to leave



We kissed a few more times

Then Tori saw us

And said well you guys are going out now

We looked at each other and just said okay