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The photo was a disaster, the article, to be expected. It scoffed at Scotty's drunken warbling and lamented the fact that it was evident that had we been sober it "could have been a good show". I could say a few things (such as, "it was a good show, you were just too sober to enjoy," "I work hard all God damned day, you bet your Buddy Holly glasses wearing, checkered scarf defiling man-twat that I'm going to knock back a few when I get off."), but I won't.



She woke and left sometime before I did. She was careful to do so.

You know, every time I meet a beautiful girl I'm going to start upping my life insurance. At this point it's the only sane thing I could do.



I have a ragtag, loose collection of drinking buddies who are willing to bang on instruments with me (given enough liquid persuasion) on stage on occasion, some people like to call us a band. Last night we had one of our rare official gigs at Charlie's and a writer for a middle of the road local music rag showed up with a pizza-faced scrap of a photographer to cover the show (a slow night it seems). This was enough to set off Maria. Maria is well, a handful to say the least. She's my ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend and most possibly the most obnoxiously flirtatious woman I know.



Emry. I guess you could say she's the one that got away that never left. As per her wishes we're still close friends. I've seen men come and go and I can see in their eyes that they will never see the stunning light I missed out on years ago. Hindsight, right? Well, one of these poor suckers for some reason struck a chord and she's been keeping him around for years. "As friends" she says but I know she can't bear to let go so I made my peace and some room in our little group for one more fool. They have a tendency to fool around in between partners and I guess this was the case a few months ago. Until Frank found Maria, a watermark version of Emry, shorter with bigger boobs and his same awful affinity for radio pop-punk and Maynard Keenan. If you stand at a distance you can claim they look like sisters. Up close the shallower waters can't hide the utter sameness of Maria. She's a pretty face in a short skirt who knows how to mouth I love you before she feels it, but that's really all Frank ever wanted. I can see how Emry winces at every empty profession.



Maria loves pictures. No-Maria loves pictures of herself in the same cock-faced, duck-lipped pose. And she's very skilled at subtle photobombing. Every time I had a break between songs to grab a beer and visit my group's table Maria found a way to pose herself with/on me to ensure a good shot should the photographer follow me from the stage. I was getting a more than a little annoyed since I had spent the whole night trying to work up the courage to finally make my heartfelt-romantic gesture for Emry. I hadn't thought of what mind you but I've made a habit of winging it and wasn't worried.



Finally, I decided to just go for broke and confessed at the end of the last song of our set that it was dedicated to the most beautiful girl here. I hopped off stage to be pull the oh so dreamy (so I thought in my half drunken stupor) move of the surprise kiss in front of a packed room of strangers. Maria, apparently, had though that I had been looking longingly at her all night instead of the vision of lovely to her left. When I got close to the table she tried to stand in front of me right as I was reaching for Emry. There was a tangle of limbs and duck-lips as I was blinded by the flash. I haven't seen the photo yet but I'm sure it'll be quite a mess.



I never had the chance to plant that kiss. Emry, embarrassed the hurt by Frank's hurt, had one too many and ended up crashing on my couch (she still refuses to sleep in my bed even when I promise her I won't be in it. I've never cursed a phrase more than, "it's the principle of the the thing"). I sat on the arm watching her sleep for few minutes. It's the only time the hurt seems to leave her face these days. I like seeing her this way better. I know I'm a creep. I guess I can make another slot in my mental portfolio for another sketch of a sleeping beauty.