The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Who am I?

I'm the one that's always there,

And never breaks away.

The one who will always care,

For the one from whom I'll never stray.

I'll never make you feel unwanted,

Or make you cry.

Just be good to me,

And to you I'll never lie.

If you look closely,

You will truly see,

Maybe I'm not perfect,

But I am me.

I wind my way home

Along dark roads

Enjoying the scuffing of my feet on the pavement

Enjoying the quiet in which I know everything sleeps.

I own the world tonight.

What a waste it is for me

I am undeserving.



Barbed wire fences mute their sharpness in air

That softens even the fields they pen in

To melt perhaps into the familiar yards

Or the edge of everything

Only the darkness knows.

And I should be threatened by the vastness of that thought,

But the anonymity of enormity is somehow oddly comforting now.



I walk into the yard and the crunch of litter and leaves under my feet seems almost too loud.

The kitchen light is on and it paints hazy rectangles on the sleepy lawn.

I see you through the window

Sitting at the kitchen table in your robe, your hair mussed from sleep.

Perhaps when I enter you will have a warm smile for me

That almost seems like a welcome,

Perhaps it will be your fist,

I never know these days.

But I do enter and sit down with you

A coffee cup in your hand,

Empty questions in mine

That I work over and over like a tattered piece of cloth

Never satisfied.

We sit in silence

Starring at our ghost shadows in the reflection of the table,

And we are the opposite of everything we ever thought we'd be.



"I'm not happy anymore Dad..."

"Then leave."

Once upon a time

I gave you my heart

But all you did was tear it apart



I can't feel anything anymore

Now I have this hole where my heart should be

I long to fill the emptiness but it's just not ment to be



So I take to all I have left

I pullout my knife,Full of strife

I slice my wrists trying to take my life



The cuts so deep

the pain so fierce

It drives me to tears



Every time I cut I think of you

And all the pain you put me through

I wonder why you did this



For laughs?For Fun?

Well fuck this!

Tonight i reach for my gun...

as I sleep i dream of you to feel you warm lips on mine,

It somehow takes all the pain away the scars and bruises the cuts just melt off my cold skin,

leaving nothing but memories as i whack all the pain comes back the scars bruises and cuts are still there,

all I wont to do is sleep for when I sleep im with you as long as I sleep Im loved

I feel lost,

I dont feel free

i want to go to succeed

but i want to be me



people tell me i am stupid and that i dont try

this makes me angry and makes me want to cry

i know the answers and this is what is wrong

the words get lost somewhere along



I get frustrated at myself for being this way

i do try hard and still get it wrong each day

people think they know,

but how could they?

everyones minds are different thats what i say



i feel useless,

i have great thoughts but don't know how to explain them to others

i dont want to get up in the morning, just stay under the covers

what point is there in waking up from my sleep?

i know that day will just end badly and i will want to weep,



thank you for your time

you have been so kind

but you still wont understand the restraints of my mind.

You are an angle inside and out

You keep my heart beating for love beyond and doubt,

Those brown eyes are what it's all about

You keep the bitterness gone

Your smile is the highlight of morning's dawn,

Were invincable nothing can go wrong

The rivers flow seeks like my hands are longing for your touch, Your taste,

Endless doesn't even reach my passion so much

Till the sun reaches the bright stary night sky

We will live forever,

Our love shall never die

Because hun you are perfection at the finest.

Just cold.

No, really. It’s just

Freezing in here, I can’t

Hear myself think. Blood fleeing my head and my heart

Stops. It’s really just cold,

A vacuum in circumspect atmosphere.

And my bones click, records skipping, they kick and they

Turn.



Wind sticks to my skin,

Really. It feels like I’m

Naked in front of the scalpel of

Air in the sight of the Wall.

Knives licking, caressing my

Glassy scythe reaping my

Legs. Basis of my

Existence.



In this moment, these walls

Swirl silent and back again.

Waves damning my head to eternity.

Flicking and dripping off drops

Of sweat. Not sure why

I’m sweating. Groan from the weight of the ceiling

Falls, the flies catch the meaning

They’re buzzing. Feels like a cannon blast,

Reeling from brutal math.

Seething in futile wrath.

Keeping in step with the

Pulse of my rabid heart, pulse of my vapid heart

Beats like the arrhythmic eurhythmic stops and it is

Done.

I tried to write a poem for you,

But it gave me writers block.



I stare at this clean white page

And wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.



How dare it be so blank

Screaming at me.

Not even words,

That would be too helpful.



No, this was supposed to be for him

And you're ruining it.

Please stop.

This is childish.



I know all the words I could say,

But they trail off . . .

Leaving dead ends of half sounds.



Maybe . . .

I'll just say he's too good for words

And leave it at that.

I have dreams;

they fall down like whispering snowflakes and

then I collect them, and I hold them tight, because

if I didn't have dreams, I'd be in a wooden box below the cold ground.



Dreams are little stories waiting to be written and they're like lovers, running

fast through the fields of buttercups and roses like clouds skirting across the blue emerald sky.



Dreams hover and glide, hurry and flutter

catch them closely as you slowly close your eyes

the world is perfect for a second.

Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives

Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls

Mellow serenades that once played between hearts

Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs



Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds

Cupid has lost his romancing arrows

Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow

Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts



Howling chilly wind blows through the mist

Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place

Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust

Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...