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I am just a stepping stone for others to get where they need to go.

I will offer my back for you to step on if it means getting you to your dreams...

I can't ask you to not look back at me because I know you weren't going to anyways.

I will help you because this is what I do,

even if it means getting hurt or walked on in the process.

I am merely a footnote in other people's life stories.

Any impact I make is not the impact I was hoping for....

Instead of "doll" or "the bitch" or "know-it-all"

I would prefer terms in which I am not degraded,

terms that are endearing because whether or not you end up being my friend or even liking me, I promise you will have learned something from me. If I chew you up and spit you out, you will be a better person for it. I know truth and I will honor it always, even when it's not pleasant.

Sadly, I know that I am being used.....

and I will be used for the rest of my life.

This is just how it is....

I'm just having a terribly rotten day.

I feel more broken and hurt than I have in a while....I need to be fixed, but will you take the time? Would you put that effort into mending me?

Life is a well maintenanced machine

who's operator calls herself Fate

cold, calculated, exact

circumstance is but an illusion

I will give you the secret

I will hand you the key

as long as you listen closely to me....

Learn this machine

know it's smooth curves

and hard sharp corners

adapt yourself to it's mechanism

then you are ready

you can work the machine as well

and Fate will be apt to bend to your will

become the catalyst

through which your own

dreams are achieved

the machine becomes yours

you can tear it apart

or dance with this metallic gift

I never said it was easy

and Rome was not built in a day

take my words to heart

I would never lead you astray

I have loved this machine

and I have hated it with a passion

but I assure you,

learn it well and you will know as I know

and you may do as I do....

the realities of life and time

and future are but a cloth

thrown over the faces of those

who do not truly see

that all this can be manipulated

you can bend it, you can shape it

it will move to your liking

but you must achieve those two tasks

before this will happen

learn the machine, know it, love it

and

become the catalyst.

I have yet in my life to ever feel this way.



My skin longs for your touch

and my lips beg for your kisses

Every atom of my being desires you.

I wish to corrupt you

I want to desecrate the sanctity

of pureness with you

I dream of the times when

you make me see stars.

When I close my eyes

I can feel you gently running your

hand over the soft skin of my inner thigh

and I bite my lip.

When I day dream

I can hear you whisper my name

as I seek to bring you pleasure

in every way

and a small sigh escapes me.

The days I must wait

to see you are torture

and when I hear your voice

it teases me to no end.

I hope when you read this

you long for me as I do for you.

Every second of every day.

I have sought the divine

and I have sought the darkness

I have studied writings from the East

and attended sanctuaries here in the West

I have travelled to places unknown to me

and found great beauty

I have walked the familiar streets of my home

and found new meaning

I have been in love before

and I have had my heart broken

and I have broken hearts myself

but this, my dear, is where true life starts.

With every written word my mind can possibly

form to describe it, I fail.

It is the indescribable, it is in it's purest form, it is an emotion unlike any other. It is love and lust and a deep connection so rooted inside me that it will be there forever. How is it that we share this? I am quite in awe. That my every thought is of you and I care not for consequence or reason, only to be near you. It is intoxicating, it is narcotic, and this sweet drug leaves me ever wanting more. I can almost hear your thoughts and I know how you feel. You were truly made for me and I bless the day I was made for you. I smile when I see you and I cry when you leave. At night I dream of days to come that I might spend by your side, and my days are filled with memories of your touch and your kiss.

My sweet angel Azreal please share this life with me. I am so in love with this world that you have made around me. Let me sleep in your arms, let me die in your kiss. I will change fate and time and destiny to your will. Embrace me in the dark and whisper in my ear, I will move to your liking. Your ways have me wrapped in irradescent light with black stars that fall like gold dust, showering me in joy. Such raven wings you have, whose feathers grace the floor with every touch, such deep black ebony. But your aura is white, and it's radiant light warms my soul. Kiss my lips and tell me you love me, touch my skin and tell me you need me. Take me, I am yours to keep.