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I need to be numb again. I need to feel nothing. Not this crushing pain, this uncontrollable anger, this heart wrenching sadness. And all of this is YOUR fault. All because of YOUR acceptance, YOUR peacefulness, YOUR gentleness. How could YOU do this to me? What gives YOU the right to make me feel again? Make me hurt again? I'm no longer in my haze and it's all I want now. I can be numb again if I can just get rid of YOU. So why can't I?? Why do I care how YOU feel? Why does the thought of those beautiful eyes crying make me falter? Why do I care for YOU so much?? Why can't I just walk away? I'm tired of breathing. Please just let me drown. Let me be numb because this love is killing me! YOU are killing me and everything I was. I dont want to be saved at all. I just want to be left alone. I knew the day i met YOU that YOU would be my undoing and now here I stand falling apart without YOU here to pick up the pieces. Please stop begging me to hold on. Please just let me go and let me fall. Take these wings away, I no longer care for flying. I want my shackles back. I want my numbness. I want nothingness. I love YOU and I don't want to. I don't want to feel for anyone. I just want to exist. I don't want to be human. Please let me go because in the end YOU will be the death of me. I am begging YOU to forget about me. Let me live in my sorrow. Let me be surrounded by my darkness. YOUR light is hurting my eyes and soul. I cannot be saved and that "goodness" that YOU think YOU see is nothing but an illusion, a mirage. That girl isn't real. She's just who YOU want me to be. I can never be what YOU want, what YOU deserve. So do YOURSELF a favor and just let go. For YOUR sake forget me and everything we had. I am not the one for YOU. I am only the one for myself. There's not enough of me to shar and if I give myself to YOU then what do I have left? I have fought for so long just to hold onto the pieces I have left. I am selfish over them since all my other pieces have been ripped away without so much as a please or thank you. I don't have it in me to share what is left because, if YOU get ahold of them, I will never get them back. I struggle to breathe around this crushing pain in my chest like raze blades being dragged through it. This is love? This is what people crave their whole life? And yet everyone says I am crazy for not wanting it? Well now YOU have proven me right. I am being suffocated and slaughtered by this so called love. All I want is to throw it off like an old worn coat and be done with this stupidity.