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yes I have been reading your journl. do you even notice. are you even reading what I write here. I truly hope so because it would be in your best interest to do so cousin. why do i not just go away completely like you have demanded. i need to and i see where i may be forced to and it will not be pretty. i love you damit. much more then a man should. i hate how you feel about me now and how you can be so cold. i do admit that i have feelings involved in you that i should not but its not like i would ever go through with them. if anyone can be trusted it is i but you can not get it through your thick skull. nothing i said to U even seems to make a difference to you. you deny everything i have spoken. it will be your downfall. sooner or later you will see the truth. no one will be there for you. if they even truly are now. you will need me one day. i will not be around if you choose unwisely. U ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF WAKE THE FUCK UP BEFORE ITS TO LATE why do you wish to do this fuckin shit to yourself why do you force me to turn my back on you when i am the only one who would be there for you when no one else will. you know who you are and why no one will stick around by your side. i know you like the back of my hands. i saw first hand in the short time i stayed with you more then you even realize or believe about yourself. i fell in love with u something that you and why and how is beyond me.because like yourself i can love no one like that. i love U Damit and its torture for me because you are something i can never truly have the way i wish. U do need to make a choice on what we spoke about thoughbefore its to late. you know what it is. hopefully you choose correctly. i will be forced to turn away from you if you so choose for me to. you will give me NO CHOICE. Do not do this to ME YOU think about it. it really does not even have to be about ME US. Its more then this and U KNOW IT its Blood family you can never be accepted. things i will not say here in my journal things i know not to speak of here. Stop this insanity ASAP before you cause insane things to happen which i know FUCKING DAM well you are not prepared for. remember dear cousin these words DO NOT and i mean do not go seeking that which you have no inkling of what its about. you may find things out about yourself and other things that you wish you had never seeked. you need me by your side when you seek such things. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE and i can not say it any louder then i am. hope it all sinks in. GOOD DAY cousin

coming soon your way

and no its not going to be a movie

with having read what you said in your journal but yet i can not reply because you have me blocked. and yes i will write what i want and yes i will remain around on this website as well. mainly just because i can i still do not know why you remain so cold hearted towards me. i was sent to help you and you mistook my intentions. now i can never help you because you chose the wrong side and then say you have not chosen anyone or anything over me because there was nothing to choose. utter bullshit on your part. u know dam well who i am and what you needed o do and why and you blew everything off like it does not matter. you are destroying yourself and for who and why is beyond me. i ca never help you now when you need it and believe me you will. very soon. although you say u hate me it still remains that when you wake the fuck up and realize just who you really turned your back on when no one can help you but i and i refuse now. my love for you i have to push aside because of your hate for me. you have made me your enemy now and in the name of what? i hope it was woorth it to you. you have no one really and as time goes on that aspect will become more and more. you keep saying train track on here and i know what your getting at. you know you will not do it although you may think about it but you know what you live for so quit talking bullshit. if i ever do stumble across your path again or you do mine it will not go over like the last time my dear. i shall hold you down once again alright and you will answer my questions and you will choose. it is your choice what you choose and even not choosing is or would be a choice. remember there are consiquences to all choices in life. GOOD DAY