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Today has been less than pleasant. I woke up and the first news I am given is that a friend of mine decided to kill herself last night. She indeed shot herself in the head.



I know there is nothing that can be done. It doesn't make it suck any less. What is bothering me even more, is her reason behind it. I do not know this for sure, but I strongly believe that it had to do with her ex. He was the type of poison she couldn't get away from.



He constantly would tell her that she was garbage and on occasions encouraged her to kill herself. Then he would turn around and express his un dying love to her. He had a hold on her. And in this case her pain became greater than her will to live.



She was amazing. She was doing everything right. She just finished all of her schooling to be a medical assistant. She JUST graduated and got a job a couple months ago. She got out of that abusive relationship, but clearly not mentally. She has many people that care about and love her.....why.

My eyes are closed but I lay here awake. My heart beats but it beats for nothing. My lungs fill with air just to die another day.

COMMENTS

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Sabastianthebat
05:47 Nov 16 2013

The revolving action of how eyes are shut, yet awake visually peering into the darkness. Its really strange when you can actually see things when doing this. On another note~yes I get the pointless view of one's expressions. Sometimes the meditations of our bodies & minds need to feel such revelations. Even though I know from this feeling. It can feel rather dead inside.

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