The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Bat Story/joke
17:57 May 11 2007
Times Read: 620




A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood

and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.



Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling

him about where he got it.



He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep

but they persisted until finally he gave in.



"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of

bats behind him.



Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest

full of trees.



Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around

him.



"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.



"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.











"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

FAMOUS DRINKING QUOTES
16:57 May 11 2007
Times Read: 621






Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway



Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill



He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato



Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman



Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin



If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought, Jack Handy



The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.--Humphrey Bogart



I drink to make other people interesting. --George Jean Nathan



An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. --For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway



You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin



All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. --Homer Simpson>