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things between us still are very frigile

she says that she does love me but she doesn't say it that often....i can see it in her eyes that she doesn't trust me anymore..to her i'm just like everyone else

but that's what i get for screwing things up

she said that i seem very good at that,

messing things up for everyone

i don't want her to hate me but.....i think its a little to late

she's giving me a second chance, and i'm grateful to her for that

everyone keeps giving me all these evil looks when they pass me in the hallway



the truth is i don't belong here....i feel so out of place...like i'm some kind of freak

i guess i really am

later

Raven

i think this is it....she's going to leave me now and there's nothing i can do to get her back

she doesn't love me anymore....she said she couldn't bring herself to say it.....i don't want to be alive if she's not here with me

i'd rather be dead

i screwed up so bad and now i'm going to pay for it.

well i deserve to be punished

yesterday jessica started screaming at me after kym left...she said i was no better than melissia...she yelled at me about how i was such a bad person........i didn't try to defend myself'i couldn't and i wouldn't...kym said yesterday that she would give me a second chance but......things don't look so good on that subject

she hates me...i know she does even if she doesn't say it

i could see it in her eyes

i think if she leaves me.....then i'll have no reason to keep living

it'd be pointless to keep going there'd be nothing left

something tells me it's over..but i hope it doesn't come to that



later

Raven