things between us still are very frigile
she says that she does love me but she doesn't say it that often....i can see it in her eyes that she doesn't trust me anymore..to her i'm just like everyone else
but that's what i get for screwing things up
she said that i seem very good at that,
messing things up for everyone
i don't want her to hate me but.....i think its a little to late
she's giving me a second chance, and i'm grateful to her for that
everyone keeps giving me all these evil looks when they pass me in the hallway
the truth is i don't belong here....i feel so out of place...like i'm some kind of freak
i guess i really am
later
Raven
i think this is it....she's going to leave me now and there's nothing i can do to get her back
she doesn't love me anymore....she said she couldn't bring herself to say it.....i don't want to be alive if she's not here with me
i'd rather be dead
i screwed up so bad and now i'm going to pay for it.
well i deserve to be punished
yesterday jessica started screaming at me after kym left...she said i was no better than melissia...she yelled at me about how i was such a bad person........i didn't try to defend myself'i couldn't and i wouldn't...kym said yesterday that she would give me a second chance but......things don't look so good on that subject
she hates me...i know she does even if she doesn't say it
i could see it in her eyes
i think if she leaves me.....then i'll have no reason to keep living
it'd be pointless to keep going there'd be nothing left
something tells me it's over..but i hope it doesn't come to that
later
Raven
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