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Today its raning.. there are puddles everywhere and not not regular puddles these are muddy puddles... gosh.. i hate the rain.. but for some reason it makes me happy i have t0 go out to north heights today and stay tell six in this weather. its going to suck. its already put me in a horrible mood. and i dont feel like being awake.

Blah stupid rain.

what part about leave me alone and let me sleep" do people not understand. Tiffany should be burned to hell for waking me up by slamming her book on my desk and then smiling/laughing about it. If i didnt have a teacher watching my every move i would have tackled her and stuffed her into the trash can and walked out leavin her ass there. damnit now the bell rang and i have to go onto economics with little miss lost puppy tiffany following my every move.



shit...

OKAY SO LAST NIGHT I LEFT THE COMPUTER ON SO MY IPOD COULD CHARGE AND SO IM ASLEEP IN BED AND MY MOTHER WAKES ME UP RIGHT AFTER I DID GET TO SLEEP AND SAYS "I CANT GO TO SLEEP!!!!! TURN IT OFF MAKE IT STOP!!!" AND IM LIKE "GO TO SLEEP WOMAN!" AND THIS WAS ALL LIKE A ROUND MIDNIGHT. aND SHES BEING ALL PARANOID THINKING THE COMPUTER IS GOING TO BLOW UP! IV LEFT THE COMP ON MANY TIMES AT NIGHT AND NOTHING HAS HAPPEND!!! SO WHY THE HELL WOULD IT THIS TIME! SO ITS 8:00 RIGHT NOW IM FUCKIN PISSED AND ANNOYED AND TIRED AS FUCK! AND I LOOK LIKE THE LIVING DEAD AND IM IN NO MOOD TO BE AWAKE RIGHT NOW AND I JSUT WANT TO GO CRAWL UNDER THE COVERS AND GO BACK TO SLEEP. BUT DOES MY MOTHER CARE? HELL NO! SHES STILL ASLEEP IN BED AND MY ONLY WAY OF STAYING AWAKE IS TO DRINK MY WEIGHT IN COFFEE!



STUPID WOMAN I LOVE HER SO MUCH BUT I NEED SOME DAMN SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i hate mornings.. i feel so much better when im not awake... I love being asleep.. because in my mind everything is fine... but when im awake.. i dont know its like im numb to everything... i cant feel anything... i mean i have a good life i have grandparents who love me and care about me and would do anything dor me. (who's complaining) i mean its not like i have a bad life its jsut everythings so bottled up and i had to let it out so last night i cut myself and i know it breaks my grandparents heart when i do it but what they dont know is that it breaks mine too... when i saw the blood pouring out i freaked out and thought this girl aint me this is not who i am... im better than this... so now when im having a shitty day i pop a rupper band on my arm... my parents know im doing this now and they say "its stupid" and i respond "is it stupid to try anything to not cut myself?"



~amey~

no realy it does.





go emos!

All day

Staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

I'm feeling like I'm headed for a

Breakdown

I don't know why

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me

Talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train

I know

I know they've all been talking 'bout me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong

With me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow

I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be

How I used to be, yeah

Well I'm just a little unwell

How I used to be

How I used to be

Im not having any problems i jsut feel all emo and depressed (yes im part emo and goth even tho i dont care for labels i do embrace them) I just wanna go crawl under a rock and cry for some odd reason. I dont even know why tho.. '



Well i have make up work to do so im gunna go.





Love Amey...