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I hate this, I want to just leave, I am sitting here trying to figure out why the fuck I bought a premium membership…I know 22 dollars isn’t much to lose and I swear I am about to just chuck it all and delete everything.

Problem is, it’s not all of VR I want to be away from, only one small area of it…but that’s only because of one thing, but that one thing is just simply impossible to swallow any longer. It’s becoming way too much like being stuck in my first marriage, all those bad feelings it generated the discontented feeling that bubbles up and makes me sick to my stomach. I hate that feeling.

Well, I not only survived the day I was dreading, but I was wowed by the efforts of my kids and husband to make this the best Mother’s Day I have ever been given.



I dreaded this day so much, losing Mother has been more than difficult, and this being the first Mother’s Day without her was causing so much stress and heartache I could hardly breathe.



My husband, who can be the world’s biggest pain in the ass a lot of times, really was amazing. Even though he couldn’t make it home for this he …shaking my head…he is just amazing, I don’t know what else to say or how to say it, the day was surprisingly wonderful.



Everything started last night at midnight. Andrew got in from work handing me the most beautiful roses I have ever been given in my life! I have never seen roses quite like these before; they are so lovely, and so fragrant!

Next thing I know the phone is ringing, it’s Robert, telling me to open up my emails, and he sent 3. I opened the first, a cute and funny little cyber card began to play, it made me giggle. Then the second e-card, pretty and sentimental. Then the 3rd…I opened the attachment and read, “I love you, Honey, I’m sorry I can’t be there tomorrow, and I am equally sorry that these cannot be there yet, but they should arrive by mid-week, I know they are going to look lovely on you.” I scrolled down and saw the pictures of the garnet necklace and matching earrings he ordered. I think he actually heard my jaw drop to the floor with a thud!



We talked a little and then said our good nights, and the kids walked in and stood in a row, huge grins on their faces as they began to explain to me that tickets had been purchased for the Mother’s Day event at the Columbus Zoo and that they would be taking me to the zoo for mother’s day, lunch included and all…The zoo doesn’t normally have this event but this year was special because 3 weeks ago a new baby Asian elephant was born there and today was the unveiling of the new name for the calf. His new name by the way is Beco…named after mom Phoebe and Dad Coco.



As we were sitting down to the luncheon for this event I was presented with yet another surprise. The kids had gotten me a new pendant, a black hills gold heart which reads #1 Mom. My kids are all grown and this is the first time I have ever been given something with #1 Mom on it.



The gifts were nice, I will admit, but honestly the best part of the holiday was the time shared with them and there was no bickering at all. No one-upmanship between them, no pissing contests, no back biting or rude remarks or stare downs. The day was so wonderful I just can’t believe it! Hopefully this was all real and I won’t wake up tomorrow to find it all had been a dream.

I realized I had made the comment about my daughter coming home after 6 years and figured I better explain that comment…



Here’s a little history. My ex and I went thru a very bitter divorce. Abuse charges were filed against him after he left over 30 bruises on our then 4 year old son, Joey, when he used a weight-lifters belt on him. His family’s connections got him out of that. He ended up with sole custody after trying to file a gender bias law suit against children’s services, saying that the only reason they were keeping him from his kids was because he was a man and not a woman. They signed off on the case, recommended custody to him and the lawsuit never went to trial. The excuse they used to justify their decision to the courts, was that he owned his own home I lived with my Mother…I lived with her at their request by the way.



Within 2 years our oldest daughter got into trouble and needed legal help. He told her, “Want help? Stop seeing your mother.” The kid had no choice. Another year goes by and our second daughter, in bad need of dental work and braces, “want braces? Stop seeing your Mother.” And then one more year and our son whom he tried everything wouldn’t budge saw my ex say to him, “Ok, fine. If you don’t stop seeing her, I’ll have her killed.” My son chose then never to come for visitation again.



I filed contempt charges against him along with parental alienation; we were finally scheduled to go to court when my oldest daughter calls me out of the blue, as an emancipated minor. “Mom, can you come get me?” “Sure baby, where are you?” I go get her and she explains all the above history and what it took for them to each stop their visitations. When she finally told me the last part about my son I realized one of us was going to have to step back and let these kids be kids. I knew he would stop at nothing, so I made the hardest decision of my life; I dropped the charges and stepped back. I figured, one returned, the other two knew what happened and that they too would return in time. The second daughter returned as soon as she was 18, and has been with me since.



Joey will soon turn 18, June in fact. I don’t hold out as much hope for his return right away, but I do know that he will if for nothing else, curiosity. When he does he will see every letter, every card every present that was bought for him and saved. There are journals kept in several places that he will have access to, and hopefully all the brainwashing and lies will melt away and he will finally see what really did happen. It worked for both girls, it will work again for him, of that I am sure of.