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When I look back on the things I've written

I sit down and think

dream wish and hope

When I look back on the things I've done

It's hard to say



But I regret some

When I look back on the things I've said

Happy to Mad,

To wish I was dead

When I look closer into the mirror



Nothing else crosses my bare mind

But loser

When I look back on the things I've done with you

It reminds me,

Of all the stupid shit I've been through



When I look back on the time I left you

It made me realize

How much I really do love you



When I look back on the time I ran from you

I think how shitty it would have been if you found me.



When I look back on those times I've cried

Hours and Hours

So many lied



When I look back on

My racing thoughts

I realize now

Everything great I've lost

The pain fills my heart

Sometimes I can't take it

I just want to end it all

And all I see

Is that cold silver blade

Hiding under my bed

Waiting to release

The cursed red heat

From my veins

Bring me relief



If only for a little while

I dig it out

And hold it against

my pale white flesh

I can see the blood



Pulsing beneath my skin

Feel it cycle through my body

Slowly, steadily the blade

Splits, my skin

And all I see before



Everything goes dark

Is the flash of Brilliant Red.

COMMENTS

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IrmaVamp
09:44 Apr 04 2012

Very powerful poetry.

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POST COMMENT

Come on take over me,

You know my doors were left open

From the list time,from the last time



Blue me to the soul

Break my sense of will

Show me where the worms live

Chew my bones,chew my bones



You come and go as you please

There is no stopping you

Believe me , I've tried

Numbed the vision ,proved no use



There is no thing, there is no thing

That can shield you

No barbed wires to cover the heart

it will break through, the time is due



It hurts when the rivers flow

The reflection of a child

No longer fun no longer wild

Where one stays one,surely no more will come



Blend with the fur of my bed

Absorbed in deep thought

Might this be the final step ?



Watched you from afar

I know what you want

You had your eyes on me

And I couldn't turn around



Nothing left but to break what was strong

Slowly fade into the pitch black night

Mamma don't care no more

I'm not worth your love