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My aunt told me today that my family loves me for who i am! She said I am kind, caring, i pay attention to peoples conversation even if I have no interest in what they're saying. It was such a nice feeling, cos the majority of my cousins treat me like a freak and my aunts and uncles seem to always have time for me.



Its nice to feel loved

Damn being a slave can be hard. I am trying so hard to keep my Master happy yet, I constantly feel I am letting him down. I guess its my lack of my own self esteem thats does it. I hate my body and would rather stay the invisible person I seem to be than have to walk naked down the main srteet in perth! ARRGGHHHH. I will do it if he wants me to, and be pleased he's happy with me. Yet will hate myself for doing it

So mum has been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety attacks. I feel so bad, she stresses way too much and now is medicated for it. Bills, her day, my brothers and this house are all adding up and contributing. I am sure I am not helping either.



I know I am a trying person at the best and worst of times, but when I see my mum exhausted and unable to sleep I start to stress cos I love her so much and she doesnt deserve the shit that goes on so much.



Am going to resolve and am going to help as much as I can, even though I am working 40 hour weeks. Stuff it, someone else can cover my shifts, if mum wants me to drop stuff so I can be at home more to do house work etc I will be.



Time to sort out my EVIL brothers!

Well yesterday was fun, I got two new kittens, nearly 6 weeks old : ) They're SO damned adorable!! I love it. I called the lil girl Bella and the lil boy George. I didn't get them to replace Hamish, my cat who was horribly killed by an evil pitbull but I needed new life to enjoy. I have spent hours today laughing at their antics, babies can be so funny!

I went and saw Cannibal Corpse last night, I hadnt heard any of their music... I went cos my best mate likes em and I was curious hehe They FUCKING rocked!!!! If anyone wants to see a good band live see Cannibal Corpse : )

I have finally found fellow Western Australians on Vampire Rave! YEAH this is exciting : ) Paganrose and ROCKHIM666 are my fellow west aussies and who cant forget my bestest friend in the entire universe? Crimsonfantasy, she is my world

YEAH!!! THe first line-up for the Big Day Out has been announced : ) Tool, the Voilent Femmes, the Killers, My Chemical Romance, Jet, Evermore, Eskimo Joe to name a few... Next year is going to FUCKING go off : ) I cant wait!!!! I 'm going to dance all freaking day again like I did this year.

I so totally have my computer back!!! I get to chat to all my VR buddies again!!!

I have come to the realization that I really dont expect anyone to read my rantings and ravings in my journal. Its more for me to write down my mental fuck ups and to keep me sane.... I hold too much in and I start going loopy. And thats no good, i am loopy enough!!!

Its such an awesome feeling when I havent had access to VR to come on here and to be told I have been missed by some awesome awesome people. I dont hear things like that very often and its touching : ) So I just wanted to say thankyou for making this lonely persons day...

So I have this 89 honda accord. It runs well most of the time. Except for last night. I get to my friends house to go to Godskitchen and the freaking battery dies on me. Dammit I cant live without a car and I cant get a new battery until my other friends husband comes home to show me what to do cos I am fricking useless with cars. Cars and computers confuse me