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Things are still not that good!! But, I guess that they are as good as they are gonna get at the moment!!! I am jus givin up on everything!!! Things are not worth wastin my day crying over which no matter what I will still do!! Well that is all I have to say right now!!

I dont know what to say exept for things really suck really really bad and I am really depressed and really pissed off all at thre same time!

thejoker called me last night and it was kinda wierd but I am glad that he did cuz i wanted to say so much to him but i didnt get a chance to say much his mom made him get off the phone... i dont know what to do ne more I am really confussed about everything! There are so many things that are goin through my head right now I dont know what to believe about ne thing that goes on!!I wish that I better understood what is going on around here but that is hard to do ne where that u go! Things are jus so screwed up ne more! That is all I have to say for now!

Well the person that I thought was the love of my live told me the other day that he didnt think that he ever loved me and that he jus started datin me because, he could get his mind off his exgirlfriend and from what he said it didnt work cuz he thought of her the whole time which was 8 mths i dont understand y he would stay with me for so long if he didnt really care! I dont know what the fuck to do and frankily I am tired of worring about it cuz it is fuckin drivin me crazy!!! I cant take it any more I am about to go INSANE if I aint already there!!! Well I will stop bitchin which from what I understand I am good at so later!! Blessed Be!

HELLO TODAY WAS A LIL BIT BETTER I GUESS I JUS HAVE BEEN HAVIN A HARD TIME CUZ OF MY X-BOYFRIEND I TALKED TO HIM TODAY AND HE HAD ANOTHER GIRLS PICTURE ON HIS MESSAGE WINDOW AND WAS CALLIN HER DAUGHTER HIS AND THAT MADE ME REALLY UPSET! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! NOW HE ACTS LIKE HE DONT WANT NOTHIN TO DO WITH ME AND EVERYTIME HE SIGNS ONLINE AND SEES THAT I AM ONLINE HE GETS OFF REAL FAST! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK ABOUT IT NE MORE I AM ABOUT TO GIVE UP AND JUS MAKE HIM COME TO ME WHEN HE WANTS TO GO BACK OUT WITH ME AGAIN! HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE IS PLAYIN HEAD GAMES WITH ME AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HIM HE MAKES ME FEEL WEIRD AROUND HIM SOMETIMES HE HAS ONLY TALKED TO ME ON THE INTERNET ONE TIME AND ON THE PHONE TWICE HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE HAS NOT EVEN TRYED TO CONTACT ME IN NE WAY! PEOPLE ARE STILL RUNNING THERE MOUTH AND I AM REALLY TIRED OF IT ALL I DID WAS TRY TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE AND BE GOOD TO EVERYONE AND I GET TREATED LIKE SHIT! WELL THAT WAS MY LOVELY DAY UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES!



HAVE A NICE DAY!



BLESSED BE!

WELL MY LIFE HAS BEEN HELL ME AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPLIT UP WITH ME AND I JUS FEEL LIKE THAT I AM WORTHLESS TO EVERYONE! YOU ALL KNOW HIM AS "thejoker". THEJOKER I KNOW THAT U ARE PROBILY READING THIS AND I JUS WANT U TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AND I AM REALLY SORRY AND I WISH THAT U WOULD CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW THAT U ARE ALRIGHT AND ALL THAT PLEASE CALL NO MATTER WHAT I LOVE YOU!!!! PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TELLIN LIES ABOUT ME AND THAT HAS NOT BEEN HELPING THE SITUATION I HAVE SO MUCH RUNNIN THROUGH MY MIND AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE VERY GOOD FRIENDS THAT I HAVE I WOULD NO EVEN BE OUT OF MY ROOM CUZ FOR A WHILE I LOCKED MY SELF IN THERE AND THEN I REALIZED THAT I CANT DO THAT TO MYSELF I JUS WISH THAT HE WOULD TALK TO ME OR SOMETHING THAT WAY I WILL FEEL A LITTLE BETTER! I AM REALLY HEART BROKEN RIGHT NOW AND HE KINDA ACTS LIKE HE AINT AND THAT KINDA MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE DONT LOVE ME BUT HE TOLD ME NOW MATTER WHAT HE LOVES ME! I JUS NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE OR SOMETHING I AM GOIN CRAZY AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! YES THEJOKER I DIDNT TREAT U LIKE A PRINCE OR NE THING BUT I TRYED MY BEST TO MAKE U HAPPY AND SOMETIMES I THOUGHT THAT I WAS WASTING MY TIME BUT I LOVE U SO MUCH THAT I HATE TO SEE U UNHAPPY! EVERTIME THAT U HEARD A LOVE SONG NO MATTER THE SITUATION I THINK OF U! I WISH THAT U WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE CUZ ALL THIS BULL SHIT CAN CHANGE REAL FAST! SORRY TO TELL U THIS WAY BUT IT IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW TO TELL U AND I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! I LOVE U AND DONT EVER FORGET THAT! NOTHING CAN CHANGE IT!! THANKS TO ALL MY FRIENDS I GOT A CHANCE TO GET SOME OF THIS DISAPOINTMENT AND HATE OF MY MIND! THANKS TO ALL OF U!!!



ALL HAVE A NICE DAY! BLESSED BE!