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I am quite appalled by some of the profiles on the Rave. Someone wandering on this site may think the majority of Rave members are illiterate or semi-illiterate. I know this is not the case, but many members are creating profiles with little regard to the rules of spelling, punctuation or grammar.



Here are a few hints for those who are creating difficult to read or understand profiles. If you do not know how to spell a word, ask someone the correct spelling, look the word up in an online dictionary or use the synonym of that word. For those who do not know what a synonym is then here is a definiton. Synonyms are two words that have similar or identical meaning. For example: She is a lovely girl means the same thing as she is a pretty girl.



Please capitalize the first word of your sentences and use a period at the end. Some profiles have sentences that run together and make it difficult for anyone to understand what you are saying.



A friend of mine was told in a message by a whelp on the Rave that no-one is judging them by the way they use spelling, grammar or punctuation on their profile. That is not true. I have read many journals that have examples of poor spelling , grammar and puctuation found in a whelp's profile.

Here is a copy of an article I have written for the website Helium. For all you writers on the Rave, this is an excellent site. They have many subjects you can write about.



The following article is about why vicitms of domestic violence do not leave. I am a survivor of domestic abuse and am all too familiar with some of the reasons I put in this article. Please do not belittle or berate someone you know who may be going through this. They are already being dehumanized by their partner and do not need additonal verbal abuse.



I am thankful everyday that I got out. So many women do not and end up dead.



Many people hear of a woman that has been in a domestic violence situation or know of one currently in one and wonder why that woman does not leave. It is not always that simple. Domestic violence is not just physical abuse. Psychological abuse usually accompanies the beatings and makes it difficult for a woman to leave.



I am sure it is safe to say that most abusers do not start out a romantic relationship that way. Just watch any movie dealing with the subject on cable's Lifetime channel. The man will sweep the woman off her feet. She will feel like she has met Prince Charming and that he is such a great catch. The woman will not see the little telltale signs that he may be an abuser. First, the man will want quick involvement. He may want to move in with the woman after a few months of dating. In some cases, only after a few weeks.



The next thing the abuser will try to do is isolate the woman from her friends and family. This will be done in a series of small steps. He will tell the woman that he does not like some of her friends. One ploy that will be used is telling the woman that any single friend she has is coming on to him. Since the woman is still thinking she found the love of a lifetime, she will believe him. Who would not want this wonderful man she has found? Next, he will try to separate her from her family. This is usually done by moving the victim away from her loved ones.



Now, the verbal, emotional and psychological abuse will start. The woman will be verbally berated and told how horrible she is. She will be made to feel like she is the one causing the man to get upset and if she would just change her behavior, he will not fly off the handle. Most woman who get with these type of men have low self-esteem in the first place. This is why these men are initially attracted to this woman in the first place. She is an easy targets. After all the put-downs. the woman's self -esteem is even lower. She may come to believe that this is what she deserves. Many abusive men tell the woman that no-one else will want them if they leave them. The woman goes to believing him.



Once the physical abuse has started, the man has molded an already emotionally defenseless person into a willing victim. Many woman are ashamed of being abused and feel leaving will make others think less of them. Some men threaten the lives of these woman if they ever leave and some will go as far as threatening the lives of their children.



Often times there is a honeymoon period between incidents of abuse. The man will return to the Prince Charming he was at the beginning of the relationship. The woman will want to believe he has changed and is sincerely sorry for what he has done. Then the cycle will start all over again. Something no matter how trivial will set the man off and the woman is once again being abused.



` Research has shown that many woman in abusive relationships suffered some form of abuse as a child. They may feel that since this is all they have ever known then this is what they deserve for being such a rotten human being. It is hard for someone who has never been abused to understand the thinking of these woman.

It is very easy for someone who has never been in an abusive relationship to stand on the outside looking in and wonder why the woman stays. Many have made statements to the effect that if a man hit them they would leave the first time. Those same words have been said by many women who later found themselves with abusive men.