I know this is a little late, but I had to work yesterday and was busier than a hive of bees after I got off. I hope everyone who reads this that celebrates Thanksgiving had a wonderful turkey day. For those who do not celebrate, I hope you had a great day anyway.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. This year I feel blessed. I am sure that I am happier now than any other point in my life. How did I get there? It was a hard road and many tough lessons had to be learned. I learned the hard way that my personal happiness did not always have to depend on others. Just because those who surrond me are unhappy or still struggling with their own issues, I can choose to be happy. I do not have to be miserable with them to care about them.
My son's behavior has improved drastically. I am lucky both of us lived through what his father and my ex husband did. Many woman die from the result of domestic violence. I was blessed that anything bad that happened to me did make me stronger and wiser. I did not become bitter like some or decide to hurt others, because I have been hurt. I did not become cold or refuse to open up to others. I know some that I care about that have to extist that way. I wish it could be different for them, but then again I did extist that way for years. I had to finally let go of many things , so I would be able to live without turning off my emotions or acting like I was made of stone.
I really wish some of my friends were happier. I cannot change that. All I can do is be there for them and hope they will be able to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Seeing how they are sometimes only lets me know how fortunate I am. Many of them have to be in a relationship to feel worthwhile. I am single and am happy with it. When and if I find someone I love and who loves me, I think this time it will be a better choice. I am far pass the point of accepting things from a romantic partner that no-one should accept just to save myself from being alone.
I know part of it is that in four years I will be forty. I know to some that makes me old. No, I do not feel old. I feel better now than I did in my twenties. I now know what people meant when they would tell me when I was young, that life begins at forty or older.
I think I am more comfortable with myself and who I am than I ever was in my teens and twenties. I see many in that age group who still do not know who the hell they are or what they want. They think they do. I would like to see how that changes in the next fifteen to twenty years.
Again, I am blessed. Things get better every year.
(CNN) -- Authorities have re-arrested three men in connection with the disappearance of an Alabama teenager in Aruba in 2005, based on new evidence in the case, prosecutors announced Wednesday
Brothers Deepak and Satish Kalpoe were arrested in Aruba at the same time authorities in the Netherlands picked up Joran Van der Sloot at the request of the Aruban government, the statement said. Van der Sloot is attending school in Holland.
The three had previously been arrested in 2005, Aruban prosecutors noted in a statement, but a court released them, citing insufficient evidence.
They are now charged with "involvement in the voluntary manslaughter of Natalee Holloway or causing serious bodily harm to Natalee Holloway, resulting in her death," the statement said.
Van der Sloot, now 20, and the Kalpoes, now ages 24 and 21, were the last people seen with Holloway, 18, as she left Carlos n' Charlie's nightclub in Oranjestad, Aruba, about 1:30 a.m. on May 30, 2005. All three men have maintained their innocence in her disappearance.
No information was immediately available about what the new evidence was that led to the arrests.
Aruban prosecutors said a team of detectives from the Netherlands has been reviewing the Holloway case at the request of authorities in Aruba, and had been on the island as late as last month to complete the investigation.
The Kalpoe brothers were being interrogated by Aruban police Wednesday, Aruba prosecutor Dop Kruimel told CNN. They will appear before a judge Friday for a preliminary arrest hearing, in which the judge determines whether the arrest was credible, she said.
The judge can then authorize their being detained for eight more days, meaning police have that much tim
The judge can then authorize their being detained for eight more days, meaning police have that much time to produce evidence. The suspects then go before a judge again, she said.
Van der Sloot was arrested in Arnhem, the Netherlands, by Dutch police, Kruimel said. Aruban authorities have asked for him to be extradited to Aruba within eight days.
Because they were not familiar with the case, Dutch police were not questioning Van der Sloot, she said. He will be questioned when he is brought back to Aruba, she said. However, he will appear before a judge Thursday in Arnhem.
When CNN called the Kalpoe household, the person who answered the phone hung up.
Earlier, Van der Sloot's attorney in the U.S., Joe Tacopina, confirmed his client's arrest to CNN. However, Van der Sloot's mother, Anita Van der Sloot, told CNN her son had not been arrested, but had only reported to a police station in the Netherlands for questioning Wednesday after receiving a letter asking him to do so.
"He didn't get arrested at all," said Anita Van der Sloot, who said she had spoken to her son briefly from her home in Aruba. She said a Dutch attorney was with him, and she expected him to appear before a judge and be released Thursday.
Holloway was visiting Aruba with a group of about 100 classmates celebrating their graduation from Mountain Brook High School in suburban Birmingham, Alabama, when she went to Carlos n' Charlie's that night in 2005.
The group had planned to leave for home the following day, and Holloway's packed bags and passport were found in her hotel room after she failed to show up for her flight.
Her disappearance triggered an exhaustive search and investigation and a media sensation in the United States, Aruba, the Netherlands and beyond, but Holloway has never been found.
The governors of three Southern states -- Alabama, Arkansas and Georgia -- threw their weight behind a boycott of Aruba tourism to protest the lack of progress in the case. While there was indeed a dip in Aruba tourism, those on the island said last year they expected to recover.
Aruban authorities have been criticized for their handling of the case. At least 10 men, including Van der Sloot and the Kalpoes, have been arrested and identified as suspects either in Holloway's disappearance or in an alleged cover-up. All were questioned and released.
Holloway's mother, Beth Holloway, has spoken frankly about the anguish she has suffered following her daughter's disappearance and the roller-coaster emotions she experiences as a result of false leads and arrests.
"We just get our hopes up, another arrest, and then he's released, and we still have no answers, you know. It's just getting more and more difficult," she told CNN last year.
As she pushed for answers, Beth Holloway became a fixture at Aruban police headquarters and on television crime shows, criticizing the investigation and what has been characterized in the media as the Aruban "catch-and-release" system of justice.
Legal experts, however, have said differences in the U.S. and Aruban systems should be taken into account. Aruba's criminal justice system is based on Dutch law and a descendant of the Napoleonic code. In Aruba, authorities' reasonable suspicion that someone knows about or is involved in a crime is enough to make an arrest, while magistrates investigate and judges determine a suspect's guilt or innocence. There are no jury trials.
Aruban authorities, meanwhile, have suggested that Holloway may have overdosed on drugs or died of alcohol poisoning.
Beth Holloway and Natalee Holloway's father, Dave Holloway, filed a lawsuit last year against Van der Sloot and his father, Aruban judge Paulus Van der Sloot, in the Supreme Court of the State of New York. The Van der Sloots were served with the suit while on a trip to New York.
However, a judge in August 2006 dismissed the suit, saying New York was an inconvenient forum in which to consider it. It was unclear whether Holloway's parents have pursued legal action elsewhere.
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I am hoping for Natalee's family that justice will finally be served and they can have some closure. I am sure they would like to know what happened to their loved one.
I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by an identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation - made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
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This song by Gavin Mc Graw is not directed to any particular person. It is just for those who choose to be anything other than themselves.
Tonight I talked with a friend who is tired of not having a life. This person is a semi- invalid for more than just the health reasons that are physical and apparent. Yes, they have had mental health issues. I will not go into their whole life story, but somethings happened to them as a child that caused some of their mental issues.
This person is quite funny, intelligent as hell and can be a blast to have around. I have laughed so hard around this person that I felt my sides would literally burst open. I am upset because my current job has left me little or no time to spend with my friend. I am planning on taking that person and only that person out for coffee when I am off this weekend. We both love coffee. I think my friend just needs someone to listen . I hope I can do at least that much for him.
I attempted to write this entry last night, but since I was upset at myself for something I was mistaken about and at another person, I could not write anything that I deemed intelligence or worthwhile. I was still reeling from the stance another person took with me and thought I was being unfair by naming who the person was in my life.
Please if someone has been the victim of any kind of abuse , do not berate them for the poor choices they made that lead to that abuse. That is similar to blaming a woman for being raped. Someone violated another person and if the person being violated was married to the individual , it is not as simple to get out of as some would think. I do not know about anyone else, but I did not get married , because I hated my former spouse. I do not hate him now. I went through that period , after my divorce. To be honest, I began to hate him while I was married. I had to let that hate go. I had to forgive him, so I could begin to forgive myself. The remarks were made, because I am analytical by nature. I got told that I put others under a microscope, so do not get upset when I am placed there. Well, when I analyze others, I try to remember that I am not perfect. In fact, if someone really listened and paid attention to me, they would realize that I am the first to admit my own mistakes. Be careful who you do that with. It may come back to bite you in the behind, when you say something they do not like or feel is incorrect.
I thought this was someone I could confide in. Confiding in someone means you trust them to not tell anyone else and not belittle you later for what they know. Human nature almost came into play last night. I wanted to give as good as I got, but I left it alone. The ugly thoughts that ran through my head remained there. The person would tell you I was mean enough, but that was not the case. I ended up with hurt feelings. I assumed I was close enough to this person to speak freely. I now admit that I was wrong in that assumption. Be careful who you tell that they hurt your feelings. You may get told you are playing victim.What this person did not realize is that not everyone has the power to hurt another person. Only those they care about the most can hurt their feelings. It would not hurt anyone's feelings if someone they did not know called them a name. IF someone they considered a close friend did that, that would hurt them.
I was stunned , because I once believed this person would understand my son better than most. She has empathy for him now, because he is a child. Probably because he is male as well. This woman really does not empathize well with women and I think that goes back to somethings in her childhood. I am probably wrong there and she would be the first to point that out. I wonder what happens when my son makes a poor choice. Everyone does. I wonder will she berate him as an adult for it or will she attempt to understand. I cannot let Malcolm have anyone around him that will turn on him , when he is less than perfect at this point. I hope I can convince him to befriend those who love him as a human being no matter what. They do not have to uphold him in his wrongdoing, but I want him to have friends that will be there. I want him to have friends that will not let his greatest loss be something that is used to hurt him later when they are angry, tired and too through with things.
This person is an avid fan of the Harry Potter series. I think she really respects the character of Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore made an error and fell in love with someone who later caused him and others great harm. I can relate. My ex-husband did the same thing. I wonder if my friend realizes that many people have done this and will continue to do this. Love is a human emotion, just like hate and fear. We will as humans continue to feel love and want to be loved. It does not matter if the human being involved admits to it or not. Love is not always intelligent or logical. You cannot read a book or learn from school , how to do that correctly. Trial and error are the only ways you get that right. Also, being loved by your parents and those around you play a big part in how well you can love others.
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