Angel of Death
I lived with death for a decade.
I could see her lanky figure just lurking right behind you,
Following you through every agonizing step you took.
I coud even taste her moldy breath in your kisses,
and hear her laughter when you said words like "forever" or "let's have kids."
She was the other woman that slept between us,
the one that taught me not to hold on too tight as you would never be mine alone.
The strange things is I don't know if you realized it,
Could you see her too or was it my burden to stare her down?
Because she was there all along
Waiting for you to give in,
Waiting for to give up,
Waiting for you to succumb to your addiction.
How was I supposed to know if it would be 15, 10 or 2?
I didn't plan for a life of happiness with you- I coudn't.
She would whisper things to me when you were asleep.
Hinting at the inevitable plan of losing you.
I braced myself for it day in and day out, my love.
But she never came.
I stood by while they cut you up.
Watched your body morph from one scalpel incision to the next.
I saw the mris, the ct scans, the x-rays.
Your guts twisting inside of you as your body adjusts and readjust.
Every time hoping that you were healed instead of broken.
I thought I was prying her hands off your neck, pushing her out of our lives.
Saving you.
Saving us.
Instead i was the balm to your gaping wounds.
Enough to keep you alive, but not enough for you to be living.
I was the plug that kept you conscious of your predicament,
Conscious of your pain and your anger and your disappointment.
You called me your savior, your redeemer.
While I wonder if I wasn't her slave.
COMMENTS
-
raganoth
04:26 Apr 06 2013
I know that feeling I mean has been literally living with us
I saw her as a female in black
when that started there are many times that I was almost killed
Vampirewitch39
14:14 May 01 2013
I like. :D