ok.. i have just one word .... men..... ooo make that two... testosterone....... idiots!
big ole hairy baboons!
hmm.. ok.. im sitting here.. looking out the window.. and ya know.. its really really yellow out there... its kinda creepy.. like one of those old timey photographs... rather interesting....anyway...i just got in from taking mom to therapy... however when we got back to the house.. it was monsooning... so i got drenched trying to get her inside.. which was fine... only i was wearing an outfit that kinda clings when wet.. and it was cold.. so ya.. heh.. that was just a funny sight... anyway.. after getting her inside i just decided to jump in the front yard... and lay on the grass while the thunder rumbled... and the lightening popped... it was pretty good.. till i got too cold.. and had to come inside..heh.. im still wet now.. but... happy.. and yes i am aware of how bad that sounded... speaking of being bad though...
the night before last... kataryne and i went out.. and rode big earl!... that mechanical poney that we so enjoy riding downtown.. so we each took a turn taming that stallion... and then rode it together... heh.. lets just say we had quite an audience ... but who cares... i think they are just jealous they don't cut lose.. ... anyway.. i think im gonna study for a bit.. speech time tomorrow blah.. i suppose ill update it tomorrow and vent about how horribley it went :(
so im sitting here... rather dreading the coming week.. mainly because i have to give my speech... but nothing i can do about that but suck it up and do it i suppose.. its so ridiculous that i should worry about so trivial a thing.. i mean.. there is so much more important things going on in the world.. and this has me terrified.. its retarded...
meanwhile i have had a pretty interesting day... had a pretty long chat with fred... which was quite amusing... those long chats behind the couch really are strange... the topics anyway.. but.. i enjoy them.. oh ya.. and since i know his affinity for 3rd person actions i shall have to leave him one heh.. *pounces ya and pokes ya*..
hmm.. anyway.. later on today mom really decided to let out some pent up anger... and lets just say her throwing arm is getting better... as is her aim at various random objects
after she cooled down a bit i took her to town... shopping.. which was kinda funny..least watching me trying to get her wheel chair packed in the trunk of my car.... it about fell on me a couple of times.. but seeing as how i live in a town where men think its way more amusing to watch girls struggle with heavy things.. as opposed to getting off their large, hairy asses and helping... thats how it is
anyway.. on the way home we picked up pizza... and had a whole family thing...but unfortunately they decided to put on a whole bunch of shark movies.. which really blew seeing as how i truly hate those movies... gah... i can still see them in my head...
hmm well atleast i didn't get stuck riding around town today with my mom and grandparents in their car... with country ho-down music blaring ......with the windows down..... with them singing along with it.....heh.. that was just plain scarey...
its really wierd when you think you have a person figured out.. and they turn out to be completely the opposite... lately that seems to be how alot of things are going... nothing is ever what it seems.. and i guess that keeps me on my toes.. but its highly confusing and a bit annoying...
hmm.. yesterday i came to the conclusion that it takes entirely too long to shave long legs... but.. it beats running around with gorilla legs.. but still its annoying... hmm.. i have alot more to say.. but this isn't the place for it.. so i shall put that in the other journal... heh. im going to bed now though
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 121424 times on Bzoink | |
What is your name? | jennifer |
Are you named after anyone? | bob |
What's your screename? | demonic_soul18 |
Would you name a child of yours after you? | hell no |
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? | bob |
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? | merv >:) |
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? | too many to list |
Would you drop your last name if you became famous? | hell yes |
Basics | |
Your gender: | female |
Straight/Gay/Bi: | straight |
Single? | presently |
If not, do you want to be? | why would i date someone then |
Birthdate: | november 5 |
Your age: | 19 |
Age you act: | depends who im around |
Age you wish you were: | 19 is good |
Your height: | 6'1'' |
Eye color: | big brown cow eyes :( |
Happy with it? | only when the sun hits them just right :) |
Hair color: | brown with red streaks |
Happy with it? | mmhmm |
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: | righty! |
Your living arrangement: | with my mom and 2 cats |
Your family: | varies |
Have any pets? | 2 kitties |
Whats your job? | annoying the hicks around here while attending college |
Piercings? | 3 in my ears |
Tattoos? | not yet :( |
Obsessions? | lime lifesavers |
Addictions? | lime lifesavers and riding big earl the plastic pony with mervy |
Do you speak another language? | some french |
Have a favorite quote? | nothing says tie me up and bang me like wearing a pair of socks |
Do you have a webpage? | nope... im computer illiterate |
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it | |
Do you live in the moment? | everyday |
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? | highly |
Do you have any secrets? | oodles of them |
Do you hate yourself? | nah.. just intense dislike at times |
Do you like your handwriting? | no.. it looks like a 12 year olds |
Do you have any bad habits? | not telling |
What is the compliment you get from most people? | uhm...i dunno :) |
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? | bob and merv ride again! |
What's your biggest fear? | sharks |
Can you sing? | when no one is around :) |
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? | hell no |
Are you a loner? | usually |
What are your #1 priorities in life? | see the world |
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? | i hope so |
Are you a daredevil? | sometimes |
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? | maybe :) |
Are you passive or agressive? | very passive |
Do you have a journal? | mmhmm |
What is your greatest strength and weakness? | hmm.. i shall remain silent on that one too |
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? | my fear of public speaking |
Do you think you are emotionally strong? | usually |
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? | sometimes |
Do you think life has been good so far? | eh.. it has its ups and downs |
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? | to not trust people |
What do you like the most about your body? | my nose .. and mouth |
And least? | everything else hehe |
Do you think you are good looking? | hell no |
Are you confident? | not really |
What is the fictional character you are most like? | jenny thornton |
Are you perceived wrongly? | most often |
Do You... | |
Smoke? | no |
Do drugs? | no |
Read the newspaper? | sometimes |
Pray? | to many things |
Go to church? | as a child |
Talk to strangers who IM you? | mmhmm |
Sleep with stuffed animals? | i plead the 5th on grounds of self-incrimination :) |
Take walks in the rain? | always |
Talk to people even though you hate them? | heh.. yah.. i need to work on that |
Drive? | mhmm |
Like to drive fast? | most definitely .. vroom vroom |
Would or Have You Ever? | |
Liked your voice? | i do ..hehe |
Hurt yourself? | yup |
Been out of the country? | to france..hehe |
Eaten something that made other people sick? | not that i remember |
Been in love? | yup |
Done drugs? | no |
Gone skinny dipping? | all the time >:) |
Had a medical emergency? | mmhmm |
Had surgery? | yup |
Ran away from home? | once |
Played strip poker? | yup |
Gotten beaten up? | no |
Beaten someone up? | not really |
Been picked on? | alot |
Been on stage? | mmhmm |
Slept outdoors? | yup |
Thought about suicide? | eh... a long time ago |
Pulled an all nighter? | oh yes |
If yes, what is your record? | 49 hours |
Gone one day without food? | yup |
Talked on the phone all night? | hehe.. done that one alot |
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex? | yup |
Slept all day? | no |
Killed someone? | no |
Made out with a stranger? | hm.. i dont think so |
Had sex with a stranger? | icky no |
Thought you're going crazy? | occasionally |
Kissed the same sex? | once |
Done anything sexual with the same sex? | hmm many many aeons ago |
Been betrayed? | too many times |
Had a dream that came true? | mmhmm |
Broken the law? | hmm.. shhhhhhhhh |
Met a famous person? | yup |
Have you ever killed an animal by accident? | unfortunately |
On purpose? | hell no.. icky! |
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? | ... once |
Stolen anything? | once when i was 7 |
Been on radio/tv? | nope |
Been in a mosh-pit? | oh no |
Had a nervous breakdown? | felt like it |
Bungee jumped? | nope |
Had a dream that kept coming back? | mmhmm |
Beliefs | |
Belive in life on other planets? | mmhmm |
Miracles? | yup |
Astrology? | maybe |
Magic? | yup |
God? | maybe |
Satan? | maybe |
Santa? | most definitely! *sits in santa's lap* |
Ghosts? | mmhmm |
Luck? | mmhmm |
Love at first sight? | maybe on very rare occasions |
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? | yup |
Witches? | mmhmm |
Easter bunny? | oh yes |
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? | yes |
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? | maybe :) |
Do you wish on stars? | sometimes..hehe |
Deep Theological Questions | |
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? | no |
Do you think God has a gender? | maybe.. i never looked |
Do you believe in organized religion? | no |
Where do you think we go when we die? | over there *points* |
Friends | |
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? | lots |
Who is your best friend? | kataryne! (my mervy!) |
Who's the one person that knows most about you? | kataryne |
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? | never ride the plastic pony without a blanket |
Your favourite inside joke? | the dick pink with merv |
Thing you're picked on most about? | my....hmm.. heh.. nvm |
Who's your longest known friend? | jamie |
Newest? | this is gonna sound horrible.. but i don't think i even know his name :( |
Shyest? | wade |
Funniest? | kataryne |
Sweetest? | nora |
Closest? | kataryne |
Weirdest? | toss up between brett and brandon :) |
Smartest? | fahmin |
Ditziest? | jamie |
Friends you miss being close to the most? | lee :( |
Last person you talked to online? | i still don't know his name.. so we will call him fred |
Who do you talk to most online? | thats a tossup |
Who are you on the phone with most? | lately dean :) |
Who do you trust most? | kataryne |
Who listens to your problems? | kataryne |
Who do you fight most with? | kevin |
Who's the nicest? | nora |
Who's the most outgoing? | jan |
Who's the best singer? | i dunno |
Who's on your shit-list? | kevin |
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? | oh no |
Who's your second family? | they all are.. |
Do you always feel understood? | not usually |
Who's the loudest friend? | jan |
Do you trust others easily? | no |
Who's house were you last at? | jamie |
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: | hmm.. that would be no one.. least right now anyway hehe |
Do your friends know you? | some of them know a part of me |
Friend that lives farthest away: | lee |
Love and All That | |
Do you consider love a mistake? | eh.. it depends i guess |
What do you find romantic? | night time walks... candles.. stomes. hehe |
Turn-on? | sense of humor, willingness to get to know the real me |
Turn-off? | arrogant dickheads who want sex |
First kiss? | was not very romantic.. i accidently bit his tongue :( |
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel? | bad...but i would not date them |
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going | mmhmm |
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out | oh no |
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv | yup, its the mind that matters most anyway |
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? | oh no |
What is best about the opposite sex? | heh.. i can't say.. its really strange |
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? | it varies... |
What's the last present someone gave you? | a necklace :) |
Are you in love? | not presently |
Do you consider your significant other hot? | if i was dating someone maybe |
Who Was the Last Person... | |
That haunted you? | i don't know his name |
You wanted to kill? | kevin |
That you laughed at? | kataryne |
That laughed at you? | kataryne :) |
That turned you on? | fred :) |
You went shopping with? | kataryne |
That broke your heart? | lee |
To disappoint you? | annie |
To ask you out? | jason |
To make you cry? | kevin |
To brighten up your day? | fred |
That you thought about? | hehe... fred |
You saw a movie with? | my mom |
You talked to on the phone? | james |
You talked to through IM/ICQ? | jason |
You saw? | kataryne |
You lost? | chad :( miss him alot too |
Right This Moment... | |
Are you going out? | maybe later on |
Will it be with your significant other? | nope |
Or some random person? | hehe..kataryne |
What are you wearing right now? | short black skirt and black shirt.. *wiggles her eyebrows* |
Body part you're touching right now: | not telling hehe.. jk |
What are you worried about right now? | my speech coming up on wednesday |
What book are you reading? | some random romance novel |
What's on your mousepad? | a wolf |
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: | antsy, sleepy, nervous, amused, and oddly enough.. a bit randy :) |
Are you bored? | mmhmm |
Are you tired? | mmhmm |
Are you talking to anyone online? | not anymore |
Are you talking to anyone on the phone? | nope |
Are you lonely or content? | kinda lonely |
Are you listening to music? | not yet |
okie.. im back.. still confused as ever.. but slightly more amused... *does a mexican hat dance around the stripper pole*... hmm this is very amusing.. all i need now are my bunny ears... and victim to wear my antlers that have the bells on them... hmm whoever shall it be >:D
hmm.. tonight im really antsy... i mean.. i've been antsy before.. but this really tops it i think... im ready to drive myself to the airport.. and hop on a plane.. to where ..i have no idea.. but just somewhere... preferably far away from here.... just for lack of something stimulating mentally....
hmm.. .you know.. its rather dull realizing that you mean absolutely nothing to someone... i mean.. even when you think you don't matter much you still figure..hey.. they still atleast act like they remember you... but not even that... heh... just lovely..actually.. its not depressing more more than kind of something irritating in the background...nothing that i won't get over though :) guess when stuff like that happens alot rebound time lessens and lessens.. soon.. it won't even bother me.. things will just bounce off me like rubber.. heh.. ill be rubber girl.. hmm.. which now that i say that aloud.. maybe i should rethink that name... i sound like a condom :l eh well... i do have a cape.. hmm.. ok.. heh.. enough on that... hmmm...
i think its time i go out again... get into some mischief that will take my mind off this latest ass, which shouldn't be too hard.. heh.. i hope.. hmm... oh yah...one of my friend's ex's thats in my public speaking class seems to really be hitting on me... which is kinda gross...considering things.... blah.. some people are so dumb...and something else.. what is it with sex?... why does everyone seem to just want to go bang everyone else... its retarded.. then when you don't want to engage in meaningless acts of fornication .. people treat ya like a leper... oh well.. just more that shows that people are shallow and narrowminded... not all that surprising :)
okie, so here i am again.. same story.. different day... its pretty late at night as usual when i decide to feel like writing... hmm.. i spent alot of time tonight trying to figure out what im supposed to talk about for my first speech... and then filling out some workbook pages for my public speaking class...and i have come to the conclusion that not only do i hate this class for the simple fact i have to give speeches.. but also because its like an invasion of privacy... sure i may play around alot.. but when it comes down to it... im a very private person.. and i see no need to tell about me or my life story to a room full of people who aren't even interested in the first place...my past is just that... mine.. and there is no reason i should have divulge it to a room full of judgemental dickheads, just so i can pass a class... its ridiculous... pfft
as for everything else thats going on... things are moving kinda slow... atleast they seem to anyway.. everything drags on so very long it seems... i know once i hit christmas atleast my load will be somewhat lighter being done with my public speaking class... maybe then mom will be a bit better and we can start getting back to the way things were.. or sort of anyway... considering things will never be as they once were...hmm.. and something else... im getting kinda tired of making an effort of speaking to someone... its kinda irritating having to iniate things all the time.... so i think i shall just leave it be till they decide to either come around .. or ignore me completely... besides.. why should i care if they don't?... i've got more than enough to worry about... speaking of which.. my court date to give my deposition is coming up in september.. which im dreading.. but blah... hopefully they will realize that that old fart is just trying to get something for nothing...i truly hope they see through her act... but the way things are going now.. i'll probably have to do the whole court /jury thing... i don't even know what to think anymore... there are so many things in my head... yet.. i don't really tell anyone... and even when i do... i realize that they aren't anyones but my own problems... sometimes its just nice to talk.. without having to worry whether the next thing you say or not is gonna have the person ignoring you... pfft...
okie... so.. today.. i was pretty bad.. i played sick..heh...and ended up sleeping a good bit.. but i figure its ok because i've been pretty burnt out lately anyway... at the moment.. im deciding on topics for one of my speeches... which i am dreading most terribly... but.. i have no choice.. so better to shut up and do it than lament my woes ... atleast i think i picked an interesting topic... im going with my major of criminal psychology.... that will give me enough info. atleast to make an interesting speach... i hope... actually.. im thinking about writing a guy who knows about as much as a person can know about that subject.... Jason Moss.. he actually wrote to manson, gacy, dahmer, ramirez and hmm.. seems like there was another.. but i forget now.. maybe not.. but anyway... he wrote them while he was in college for criminal psych. then actually met with gacy..and almost became the next victim.. heh.. hence the name of his book " the last victim"...
as for anything else.. im actually quite bored...oooooooo we got the most wonderful storm today... it cooled everthing down so much... i went outside on the porch and watched the rain and lightning popping.. and listened to the booms of thunder... i really love doing that.. its so peaceful.. ...
hmm.. ok.. so i think i sobered up a bit from the last entry...hehe ..only in the respect that im not bouncing off the walls.. but im thinking about stradling the roller chair and riding around the living room for the hell of it... maybe give my ass a few spanks as i ride that chair... *coughs*.. yeah.. and the funny thing is.. i turned down a date tonight.. to watch a movie alone... and ride my chair around the living room..hehe.. but.. i think i chose the better of the 2... the dude who asked me out is so dull.. he just stares at me... like im gonna do a trick.. which i might.. but purely as amusement for myself... which i had to do on the first date out.. like hmm.. a good many weeks ago..eeeeeeeek....ack... some people never change.. then again.. there are those who act so damn confusing that ya really wanna get in their head and figure out if its really as spazzy as they make it seem...
oooooooo im supposed to be reading part of the Bible for my world lit. class tomorrow.. but im not.. im such a bad little school girl.. *breaks out the chains and whips*.. hmm.. hehe.. ok.. stopping that there.. no need to make my journal x-rated...i feel that i have already violated myself.. so that would just be wrong.. hmm.. i think.... that..... its time to sliding into the kitchen wearing socks and underwear to get some orange juice... hopefully .. not waking anyone up.............speaking of which.......
i heard some slappy noises a while ago.. turns out.. my grandparents were ..well.. ya.. then i heard a "you little wildcat!"...after that i shut a couple doors and hid in the closet.. its safer here...till some maniac decides to poke you with nana... speaking of which.. i think... its time for that juice....
hmm.. ok.. so its about 11:30 at night.. im going a little stir crazy..everyone is in bed... and all i wanna do is go streaking through the woods... with the exception of wear some flip flops... hehe.. tender feet... hmm.. why oh why ... do i always wanna streak through the woods?... one of those deep questions i suppose.. not really.. eeeek.. im scaring myself...
ooooo.. tomorrow kataryne (mistressnightshade) and i are going to hang out... grab some pizza, wings, cheese sticks, movies, and a trucker..hehe.. ok.. sorry.. that was just in there for effect... the trucker part anyway.. hmm.. and why the hell am i appoligizing to an online journal... another deep question... hmm.. well. .. i must say. .today has been a rather odd sort of a day... but i can say with all certainty.. that one day.. i shall have a pole in my room... hmm.. i think my bed is calling me now.. too many strange thoughts
hmm...okie....so today has been one of those days... long...dull ...boring... and its only tuesday...heh.. only my second day of classes ..and it feels more like my 89th or something....the highlight of the day was watching phantom of the opera..yet again..hehe..though it never gets old... still makes me wanna cry when i see it... oooooooooooooooooooooo i just went sliding past mom's door to her room.. with my sock... and t-shirt on... whilst slapping my tush.... hmm.. quite the multi-tasker today i think... heh... btw..sliding on socks is highly under-rated... we should all do it.. its lovely.... maybe get some big pool noodles to bop eachother with as we go sliding by.... seems like a really fun night to me... bah.... anyway... im dead tired... i think i shall be going to bed....
okie..well here i am after my first day ... and blah.. what a day.. in my public speaking class there are an assload of people... and the ex boyfriends of 2 of my friends... which just turns out lovely.... esp. since one of them decided to hit on me after class :l then.. this afternoon.. i heard more on my lawsuit... which is even more depressing.... hmm..ooooo.and i have about 4-5 hours of sleep before i have to get up for classes again..and im having some issues with people i know... blah.. i can't even get perky which is odd for me... guess im just sleepy
ok.. now that i have cooled down a bit.. im writing more.. because im bored and have nothing better to do with my time... or rather i should say.. don't feel like doing anything else.. so here i sit... oddly enough singing and dancing along to "let's get it on" probably shouldn't have mentioned that.. but oh well.. im really bored.. and no one is around... which is very good... hmm.. i've just had the wildest urge to go to the top of a very tall muddy hill.. hop on the air mattress and ride it down... maybe with a large feather... and pool noodle... .. yup... hmm.. wierd...
hmm, ok why do people have to beat around the bush about things?.. if someone is pissed at you, then wouldn't it just save alot of trouble to just come out and say what it is they are being such immature assholes about?... less that person is just an arrogant, narrowminded asshole who likes to be a dickhead for the sake of being a dickhead...which im sure many people do... but just for the record.. it gets old.. and there are much more important things that could be consuming my attention... so... for the record.. and im pretty sure you know who you are.... when your done being an ass let me know :)
now that that is out of the way.... heh.. i can vent yet some more... tomorrow i start my new classes.. one of them being a public speaking class which doesn't bode well for me.. considering i have panic attacks when forced to get in front of people....but is mandatory... so heh.. can't really do anything about that.. but how that pretains to my major of criminal psychology ill never know...
mom is home from the hospital now... she came home tuesday.. and its been pretty busy... its not like i don't like taking care of her.. i mean.. she is mom .. its just its so tiring....getting up during the night every 3 hours or so... cleaning up after that... moving her around... then my uncle walking throw... and instead of walking around the place im sleeping next to mom.. he steps on it.. which heh .. on an air mattress.. im finding is very startling... i mean one minute im laying there sleeping.. the next.. he steps on the mattress and i roll off the side.. heh.. those little buggers are odd like that... it sounds funny.. but getting bounced off or kicked gets really old.. and annoying when you haven't had much sleep to begin with.. .. i guess doing all of that with classes just makes things look pretty bleak right now...
that and we are staying at my grandparents..so they could help.. which i haven't seen much of lately.. but anyway.... that means i still have to go home and take care of the cats .... and shower and stuff.. so i stay on the move.... which is good i guess.. keeps things from getting too dull i suppose...
another thing im thinking about are my grandparents.. they pushed so hard for us to come over here... stay with them till mom got a little bit better... but now they are kinda acting like we are in the way.... and its really annoying... i mean... we didn't even want to come over here.. but .. i guess that doesn't matter...
more and more im finding that to get anywhere, you have to stand out and just say word for word what you want... because thats the only way things ever change.. even then its hard to get some place.. esp. in this family...no one seems to listen when i tell them what mom or i want...
i have it better than mom i suppose.. atleast i can leave and blow off some steam.. and she can't really.. less i wheel her out to the car and put her in.. which looks more and more inviting now that i think about it... heh.. anyway.. i guess i will close this for now... time to go do some physical therapy with mom....
hmm ok.. well.. its been a while since i have said anything here.. and heh.. well i have alot to vent out..so.. lets see.. im going to start off with something thats particularly annoying me presently... stupid, big ole beef-headed men... like the kind that walk around with beer guys dangling over skin tight jeans... wearing shirts that just barely don't cover that beer gut... so you know when they lift their arms up, up comes the shirt and hello.. heh.. well lets just say its not pretty... getting back to the point..one of those such narrow-minded boobs has the gall to message me.. and ask me i will like peanut butter off of him... *hurls*... id sooner lick the bottem of my shoe than that.... ick!... hmm.. and now i have a very disturbing visual and have lost my zest for writing more... blah
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