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A dear friend of mine Zane died yesterday in a motorcycle accident. I miss him so much. But he loved living life on the edge. If you can some way read this from heaven I wrot this to let you know I miss you so much.



You knew how to make me laught when I was feeling down. You always told me i could turn my life around. When ever I was in a bad mood I would call you and you would let me vent my anger while you listened. And when i was done you always told me things would get better. The day my boyfriend told me about your death my heart broke and went numb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't and didn't know why? I wish this was just a bad dream and that I will wake up and everything will be ok. But it's not a dream. As I sit in my room looking at your picture all I want is to hear your voice again. i miss you so much you were only 27 years old. You didn' diserve to die you had a whole life ahead of you. If only you chose to get off the drugs and save yourself. You died yesterday and I miss you so much. All i can think of is why did it happen to you. I will never forget you zane. I miss you but I know you are now able to ride your bike and realy fly. One day in the future i will get to see you again. Until then watch over me.



IN MEMORY OF ZANE

3-34-2010

LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG

ROCK AND ROLL

Night falls heavy upon the mystical forest of Wonderland. Sounds of unknown creatures take to the skys. Look beyond the broken mirror Alice. Close your eyes and sleep deeply said the Mad Hatter to Alice. I will protect you. For the reason that I love you is why you returned to me. My world is brighter with you in it. No need to worrie Alice no one will take you away from me. You will now call wonderland your new home. Close your eyes and go to sleep i will protect you. The world of Wonderland is brighter now with you here.

I sit in my room full of worries and dread. My tears pour down my face. I don't mean to seem like I'm full of hate. But it is because i am scare of being hurt. But in my heart I realy do know how to love and care. i'm not dead on the inside. I just have been broken too many times. After all these years I tought myself how to not show emotion. I often think if I run from my problems they will not exist. But life is not that easy. I can not run away because my fears will still be after me. i love but act like i hate.

I rember when I first met you. We fell in love. Whenever i look in your eyes I see love. When you kiss me i feel so alive. And your touch fills me with pure passion and desire. You make me feel like i am in heaven and only good things can happen. And all dreams come true. You are the one who gives my heart a reason to beat. You are my everything.

The cat's eyes glow and dance in the darkness lighting my way. Flowers are dancing joyfuly in their beds. When I am here i am without fear. No one knows where I am but my dear love Alice. Who I love so deeply. The sweet smells of gum drop trees fill the air. My heart is no longer tainted. I know just like me you try to hide your fears behind a beautiful mask. We hunger for peace and happiness and even sometimes find ourselves drowning in it. I hear your voice call to me. Your thoughts fill my head. filling me to the core.

Erase all sad memories and turn them into beauty. Close my eyes and dream. Let it bleed away with my sanity. Bury my hidden pain in a world of strange happiness and joy. With your mystical touch i feel again. The moon lights the way to where you are waiting for me to arrive. The sight of you eases my pain. I fall to sleep just so I can see you again. Hatter if being with you means I have to lose my mind then let it be done. To be locked in your world filled with insanity and confusion. I am in a trance when you look at me. Here im this beautyful place. Not ever my tears dare to fall. I am blinded by your happiness. i close the door behind me and lock away all painful memories. I am safe here in this place where everyone is happ. All i know is passion and happiness. I'm not afraid to dream if my dreams will lead me to you. Then just let me sleep , sleep forever.

My dearest love. I take your hand in mine and kiss your candy coated lips deeply. i pray that you will return once again to Wonderland back to me. Never leaveagain. My dear you promised me forever. My love please stay, don't go. Not yet. Not ever i need you to feel whole and happy. I want to be able to always gaze into your beautiful eyes

I would watch the stars all night with you. As we walk towards the castle in wonderland I'm fearless. It is warm here with a light breeze. i get closer to you until our words melt together. Time is frozen at 6 o clock because that's how you wanted it. I will always be here with you mydearest love the Mad Hatter.

I met a man who dug up coffins. He looked at bodies that were rotten. He turned to me with an evil laugh. He said he liked taking photographs. i told him he was a twisted man. Then i kicked him in the nuts and ran.

A rooster is on top of a fence and lays an egg. What way does the egg roll?

What can run but never walks? Has a mouth but never talks? Has a head but never weeps? has a bed but never sleeps?

Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over and the men sink to the botton of the lake. Yet none of the men got wet. Why?

You stand in a fork in the road. Next to each of the two forks there stands a guard. You know the following things. 1 path leads to paradise the other to death. From where you stand you cannot tell between the two paths. Worse once you start down a path you can not turn back. One of the 2 guards always tells the truth. The other always lies. It will be impossible for you to tell between the two guards. You can ask one guard one question as to what path to chose. Rember though you do not know which guard is the truth teller or the liar. And that this one question determines if you live or die. What will be the one question you will ask the guard to determine your fate?

does a mirror have a color? if it does than what is it?

While walking down the street i met a man. He tipped his hat and drew his cane. And in this riddle I told his name. What is the name of the man?

Blood tears flow from my eyes. My fears I can no longer hide. My soul breaks as i die inside. i have no friends or someone to care. All people do is just stop and stare. I feel left out. In a world i don't belong in. As time flys by all memories of me disappear. As if I'm just not realy here. iam lost and alone.

My body feels a unatural burning sensation after you bit me. But now I wonder will it ever go away? Held deep inside where no one can see it Trapping me for eternity. my cold unbeating heart cries out for you. Longing for you to make the horrible feeling go away. Why did he chose me to be his mate? I don't think I will ever truely know. All I can do is be loyal to him.

Forever will never be the same. You say you will always love me. That I am your only man. And I sadly believed you. I now know you are only using me for your own benifit. You say you will never let me go. i now realize you never meant thoes words you said. And that what islove when you do not mean it. When your words are fake. I won't sit by and watch you break anothers heart as you have done to mine. When I stood by your side. I believed you . It all seemed so right. But now i know it was only a joke.

Talking to me night and day. Why oh why won't they go away? Seeing things people told me that wern't there. But the whole time I feel like I am being watched. And the voices are so hard on me. Telling me all sorts of dreadful things. That are soon to be.

The morning sun glues my eyes into my skull. Organized people walk carelessly around me all the time. I can not move paralized by the stars. My mind submits to their every demand. The voices play games with my brain to see who will win.

odd thoughts, voices in my mind. What can you say is my true state of mind? Whats real has been replaced be strangeness. My mind full of hallucinations. Feels like I'm always being watched. But is any of it for real? Why am I not normal? All I wanted was a mind of my own. But the voices have taken over pushing the real me out of the way. So far away that no one can ever hear me.