The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

on a side note, i have recently found out that a couple of my friends over here have lost their lives. I am saddened that i have lost friends, but i am angered that they lost it here. I wish now that i could stay and go out and hunt these terrorists down and before killing them, feed, and make that feeding as painful as i can. I would have gladly given my life so that they could have theirs, but alas, i am not called upon to do that. this will lay heavily upon my soul for a long time. i am here, but they are gone. for most of you, you will never hear about this on the news. this is turning out to be a forgotten war compaired to iraq and isrial (spelling is bad). well i guess i will just get on the plane and try to drink this away. go visit my family and take comfort in the fact that they support me even if i do stupid things like get deployed to a war zone.

another day closer to my leave day. i am getting way excited. i have had so much energy these past few days. not sure weather it is from surfing VR or if i have tapped into a new energy source ( i sure hope that it is not one of my fellow soldiers, would feel bad about that). anyway, i have had this sexual urge as a byproduct from this. will be glad to release it so i can concentrate on more important matters like getting drunk for the first time in a very long while. i have been looking for someone who can show me how to become better at using and drawing energy. someday i will find that person, but for know, i will be happier when i get on that plane headed for the states and get out of the war for a few weeks.

I am a loner. I am crazy. I have been here for a very long time, and still I am not used to being around others. I was married for 13 years. I guess I wasn't good enough for her, she found someone else. I should have realized that I am not a people person. The only thing that keeps me going is my kids and grandkids. I do my duty for my country, but it is my children that are my life. GOD help the poor soul that messes with them as I won't bat an eyelash as I hunt them down and kill them. I can be nice but choose to be an ass. it is safer that way. no emotional attachments. Am drawn to the darkness. I feed off of emotions. Am still unsure how I manage this, but since my awakening a few years ago I have been learning how to deal with it. This also makes me meaner than I was. I am currently in Afghanistan trying not to go on a killing rampage. My emotions are running wild, and it is hard to keep them in check. glad I work nights, few people to deal with. the occasional patrol, but mostly nights. safe for the locals and my fellow soldiers. I will deal with the lack of feeding. my teacherformer lover is upset that I have been draining her in my sleep..unintentional of course, but it makes her upset. she has taken to blocking me lately so I have to figure out how to get a new source of energy without harming others. oh well, i am learning. I hope that some of the people here can guide me and or mentor me as I struggle with these issues.

Till next time....

for some strange reason i am elated at makeing shadow level here. I don't know why this is so. am i still depressed? is it because i am deployed in a backwater country? because i no longer have a partner to share with? whatever the reason maybe i accept the fact that for a brief moment i am happy. this will not last, it never does, but for now i will take it.

a lot of things i didn't go into cause i don't know how to add them yet. so i will add them here.

my fav authors:



JRR Tolken

CS Lewis

Robert Heinlen

Frank Herbert



my fav movies:



The Lord of the Rings

Dune

Harry Potter

Black Hawk Down

Star Wars (all of them)

Star Trek ( all of them)

MIB 1 & 2

Aliens (all of them)

Alien vs. Predator

Doom

Jarhead





my fav games:



Warcraft

Diablo (all of them)

Halo 1 & 2

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2



will add more when i find time.

I realize that most of you don't know me. all i can say is that i am a fairly decent creature. i only attack those that harm my family, and my country. I write erotic poems and fantasy

romance novels. I only wish is that others could live my life for one day and see what i see. the military is not easy and I have done things that most of you are unable to do. I have placed myself in harms way so that others can come home safe. I normally am in an office, but sometimes I am called upon to do dangerous work. I am not whining, just trying to so you a side of life that most of you won't get to experience. This next year will test me and those who serve along side of me. I will change as a result of this. I just hope that when all is said and done that I can go home and live a semi normal life again.

once again the light has overtaken the dark. Like all creatures of the night I must flee the light. It is morning here in afghanistan and my shift is over. I will lay my weary body down and dream dark dreams. there can be no good thoughts as long as i am away from those i love. The danger surrounds us from all sides and we must stand true. We are American Soldiers and we must band together to do what is right. I will do what I must with every once of my being. I was bred for this. I will not make into heaven with all of the bad I have done. May God forgive me my sins and may thine mistress claim my body for all time.



lol, I write wierd things with lack of sleep.

I am sitting here staring at two computers. One I use to surf the web and the other I use for the Army. See, I am in the Army and have been for the past 22 years. I am currently deployed overseas in afghanistan helping their country set up a police force and army so they can stand on their own and protect themselves. It is a thankless job, one that I am sure that most of you wouldn't want to do even if you could.