The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am the world's last Barman poet.
I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make.
America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake.
The Sex on the Beach, the Schnapps made from peach
The Velvet Hammer, the Alabama Slammer
I make things with juice and froth
The Pink Squirrel, the Three-toed Sloth
I make drinks so sweet and snazzy
The Iced Tea, The Kamikaze
The Orgasm, the Death Spasm
The Singapore Sling, the Ding-a-ling
America, you're devoted to every flavor I've got
But if you want to get loaded, why don't you just order a Shot.