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The first poem was a poem an ex boyfriend wrote for me when we were dating. The second is a poem I wrote later. I think they fit well together.



Loneliness



As I walked in a haze of loneliness

She came to warm my heart

She touched my hand and all grew still

Her eyes brightened and my blood boiled

I knew then that I needed her, so much to fill

As I held her, I melted like snow

So much beauty was mine to hold

When she's gone, I want to cry

When she's near, I can only sigh

If she loves me, I'll be whole.

If she needs me, mine will be known.

The one thing so hard to say,

But I will tell her I love her....someday.

::end::

-DK





Angels? No where...



I've been called an angel,

So loving and so pure.

If I am your definition fo "angel"

Heaven must left everyone in.

I wasn't created to be your salvation.

You need me to be pure,

but it turns me to the dark that much more.

I need you to save me and all you do is cling.

We both fall and slide down deeper.

My clipped wings can't do a thing until I get away from the ulitmate dark.

My tormentor, my lover...

You.

::end::

I think this is one of the last poems I didn't write myself.

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When I saw you,

I was afraid to meet you.

When I met you,

I was afraid to know you.

When I knew you,

I was afraid to like you.

When I liked you,

I was afraid to love you.

Now that I love you,

I'm afraid to lose you.



- Ashlee Hawkins.

Another poem I haven't written.

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Here I stand on my own,

No one to turn to, no where to go,

On my own, pretending you're beside me

On my own, I walk with you 'til morning.

On my own, my fragile heart aches,

On my own, this pain I cannot take.

Right now my mind is in a daze,

I feel isolated, not wanting to communicate.

I love you more than words can explain,

And trying to think of those words drives me insane.

You have a precious new whore in your life,

One you think could be your wife.

Life is complicated and unfair,

'Cause the bitch is so damn ugly I can't compare.

My heart is aching and my body is sore,

I just can't take your tourture anymore.

The time has come, you must pay,

I'll get you real soon...one of these days.

Be very afraid when you sleep at night,

You just might wake to me and a rusty knife.

A knife that will tear your to shreds,

As I happily watch you bleed in your bed.

I told you not to fuck with me,

But obviously you did not take me seriously.

Now as I sit here in my cell,

I once again remind you...PAYBACKS ARE HELL!



::end::

Again, another poem I have not written. I do like it.

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Taken for granted...yes I've been there a thousand times before...and I am just as guilty...I can't deny my own faults...The things we never see...The things we never feel...until something breaks...it all goes wrong...and maybe if we had known...maybe if we had just for once considered the possiblilty of the often inevitable...we could prevent these little tragdedies...

Taken for a fool...and yest I admit that I have played a jester to a heartless court...I have stumbled and I have faked it...I have smiled when I oly knew of sorrow...and I can be so bitter about life's little casualities...Taken by the wind...just like the song I've hear a thousand times...full of mysticism and always searching for buried treasures and proof that there is so much more to me...so much more than the ordinary day tells...

Taken too many times by fear and anger and never have I fought my deamons more fiercely than when they threaten my position in this twisted fairie story...I am not without malice...I am not without imagination...and I have take everything I can stand...

These are poems I did for Speech contest. I personally have written one of them. The name of my piece was "Conformity" and as a speech piece it runs under 10 minutes (I'm almost a senior in college now; it's been a while). I went to State with this. I'm quite proud. So without further ado, the poems themselves...





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"Peer Presure"



Look upon yourself

And tell me, what do you see?

Look upon yourself

And is that who you want to be?

Look upon yourself

Or is that who you are?

Now look at your "friends"

Do you have any similarities of style?

Now look at your "friends"

Are you who they want you to be?

Now look at your "friends"

Must you be that they are?



::end::



"To Do What You Did To Me"



MY PAIN IS NOT MY DEPRESSION

MY LIFE IS NOT MY DEPRESSION



It's yours



YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO CHANGE

YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BECOME



I DIDN'T

I HAVEN'T

I WON'T



It's yours



YOU ALWAYS TEASED ME

WHY DID YOU PAY SO MUCH ATTENTION TO ME

YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A FUCKING* GOD

THEN WHEN I LEFT

YOUR FRIENDS WEREN'T THERE ANYMORE

THEY WERE OUT TO FIND SOME OTHER JACKASS

TO DO WHAT YOU DID TO ME



My schooling has taught me one thing-

Don't become what bred you



::end::



* Note: For all of those still in High school that are thinking this sounds like a good piece to preform, you will have to remove the word "fucking" from the poem, but you are allowed to say "jackass".





Untitled (The poem I wrote)



We've done all these things to make you happy

Yet, we're not

HIdden behind a mask of happiness

All we used to want was acceptance

We accept you

Your barriers of "cool"

We have our own

We fade into the background of "your world"

Into a world of our own imagination



You wouldn't last a a day as me

Or as the girl in the hall

The one you only notice for a few seconds

Then she fades into the background of your thoughts



I know all too well how she feels

Do all these things to make you happy

Put her life on hold



She'll learn



What it's like to get fed up and feel the outburst of pent up rage



She'll cut her hair like she wants

Do what she wants

Define her world as a part of a world you have no understanding of



And you'll just call her names

All because she refused to make you happy



::end::



"Criticism"



Why do you criticise me?

You riddicule me

You say that I am different

You throw glass at the way I am

They way I dress

The way I act

You don't even know me

Who are you to label me!

You say that I am jealous of you

Why would I want to be like you?

The lovest point in my life

Would be conforming to your standards



::end::









Here is a poem that didn't make the cut for the contest, but I still love it anyway.



"To Be Used and Called the User"



To be used, and called the user

To be raped, and called the rapist

To be drugged, and called the junky

To be murdered, and called the murderer

To be a victim, called the victimizer

To be in the eyes of other, but not in the eyes of truth

Unfortunately the eyes of the masses create truth

Doesn't life suck?

Yes, I believe it does.

::end::

Kick your shoes off and stay a while

While you’re at it, take off those pants too

All I want you wearing is the moonlight

And my kisses

Come here my darling

Don’t speak

Don’t ruin this

All I want to feel is your skin pressed against mine

Fuck all those formalities

Just take me

Don’t think

Give into those primal urges

That’s it

Harder

Shower me with kisses so intense

I don’t have to feel

I’m starving

Let me taste you

Over and over

You beg for more

When you’re tired hon

Just close your eyes

Fall asleep in my arms

Good night my love

There won’t be anything of me

But memories when you wake up