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why is it when you feel like shit, that's when your friends ignore you?

I watch her slowly take my place, I don't know what I can do about it. If I take offence it just pushes him more towards her, if I get sad I look pathetic and that leaves him a step closer to her. She's everything he could want, and everything I am not. Am I letting it happen just because we have been together for so long, is it time? I've already planned it out in my head, where I would go, what I would do; do I actually want it to happen?

I don't want to be me anymore, I want to leave, cross an ocean, change my name, pretend. I would rather hurt myself that have others hurt me. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to break everything.

Joey why did you have to die? I hate you for it, was it worth driving home drunk? We had so much in common...could we have saved each other? But you gave up...you went for a mile before flying out...you knew what you were doing. Now I am left sitting here hating myself all alone. We don't know how to talk to each other any more, its always silence and awkward. It's always what's good in our lives we can't talk about what is really going on any more....I can't tell her my secrets...Judgement hurts. Crying...Crying...I want to future to be here already, I don't look to the past

COMMENTS

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Roanoke
17:44 May 22 2013

know how you feel all too well :(

hope your better now

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