Funny how something so small and simple could cheer me up. My friend has a copy of our imvu chat from over a year ago. I feel like I really have been taking her for granted. I don't need a boyfriend. I'll focus on her awhile. Romantic relationships are overrated anyway.
My ex insists on staying in my life- showing up at my job, calling everyday- with some nonsense on wanting to be friends. And then makes little comments like, referring to my sister as a future sister-in-law. You really couldn't pay me a million dollars to marry him. And he always wants to know what I'm doing when and why every moment of the day, and who I am talking to. I stupidly pick up the phone feeling guilty- thinking I wasn't clear or did not let him down easy enough. Yeah, I miss the attention. The thought of completely blocking him scares me- maybe because I thought we were in love. once. Is my only choice completely blocking him out? If he could stop, just stop, I could mourn him completely and move on? All we do now is have small talk or argue. And when we argue, he places 100% of the blame on me. I have mental problems? Everything that went wrong in our relationship was our fault? The nonsense about me checking out other guys in public? And accusing me of trying to get to know or date other guys behind your back? Why would you want to be with someone you thought would betray you? Yet, you like/comment on other woman's pictures on facebook telling them how sexy/beautiful they are? I have innocent conversations about work or anime in a groups setting with my sister's friends, and I'm the cheater? I can't talk to male friends, but you can go out of your way to compliment other woman? My family is controlling but you cursed me out when I got crochet braids, and threatened to leave me months ago when I became fascinated by the Japanese lolita clthing? Apparently woman can only dress for the attention of men? Hello? Then why are those woman on facebook deserving of your compliments but I'm public enemy number one on jeggings.
I want him to leave me alone. But I stupidly pick up the phone. I know I'm the world class idiot here. My family and friends agree he is no good for me. I agree, and I know what I have to do. It's just a matter of doing it.