Why do I over-analyze every little thing? I play back moments in time over and over, imagining if just one word changed what would be the outcome? Would my life be better?
I must have done something wrong because now he no longer says hello. In other news, work is a pain. School is pain. My morning work outs are the only thing I look forward to. That and my television shows. In my head is a big pity party for my sad existence.
Forgive my prior rant. I'm looking at it with fresh eyes, and perhaps the anger was irrational.
In other news, my coworker likes me. How can I tell? He keeps winking at me and calling me my love in Spanish. The problem with this? He speaks almost no English. I speak just about no Spanish. How would I get to know him to figure out if I like him, beyond appearances? Yes, he looks attractive, but is it possible to get to know someone you have great difficulty communicating with?
It takes me a lot to get into a state in which I can concentrate of something, like writing a term paper, and when I'm finally there I absolutely HATE being interrupted more than anything!!!(Yes, I have ADHD.) I just feel so much anger right now. Maybe it's not justified. Or is it? It's just how I feel. I'm in the middle of a thought when I get interrupted by my father to complete a frivolous task. Concentration is ruined. I cannot for the life of me remember what I was thinking/typing last; all I know is that is was brilliant. "A" material, you know? This happens all the time!!! I cannot just be in my room with the door closed for some reason. They just keep calling me? Is it disrespectful if I ignore them? If I ask them to stop I just get the "I'm old, need assistance" guilt trip. If you can assist your self, wash dishes, wash clothes, find your own cups of ice while I'm at work , you can do it while home.
It hit me today while trying to figure out all the guys in my life, maybe I've become guy obsessed. I mean I would constantly think "Are we friends? Are we not friends? What is actually going on?" It's my first week of class, and I've had an easier time concentrating on homework then comprehending cryptic text messages. Really, I'm about to start giving one word replies even though I hate that because I'm not about to let yall drive me nuts trying to figure out what exactly you want from me.