JinxHeartSmile's Journal

JinxHeartSmile's Journal


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27 entries this month

Oh, well.

18:58 Oct 30 2010
Times Read: 667

I don't know whether to be offended or not. I'm on my 2cd year in college and people think I'm a high school freshman. "You look young." You have no idea how many times I've heard that; it irritates me a bit.

Right below this irritant on the list is "I didn't know you were smart." I've come to loath this statement with reason. On days when in charge of clarinet sectionals, hardly anyone took me seriously. The freshman were shocked to find out that 1) I wasn't a freshman and 2) I was the first in 2cd and held the 5th seat. *sigh*

Oh, well.

Side note: If you've never experienced a sinus infection I ENVY YOU. There is a persistent pressure I feel in my head behind my eyes and ears; it's also present below my eye- touching there aggravates it. This is a headache that makes other headaches(unless you have severe migraines, or something) to shame. I took some Advil and it's doing nothing for it. I took the max safe does of my allergy meds and it hasn't even begun to kick in yet. I THINK I'M DYING! :(




Rant: Love Stories

18:43 Oct 30 2010
Times Read: 668

WHY are stories like "Titanic" and "Romeo and Juliet" great love stories?

What's that say about today's society?

Ok, lets start with Shakespeare's TRADGEDY "Romeo and Juliet".

If the word tragedy means nothing to you lets review the plot.

In the end all the main characters die!

Romeo thinks Juliet is dead so he kills himself.

Juliet sees Romeo is dead and kills herself.

On top of that, there families definitely don't get along much, not that it matters much in true love, but it makes things tougher. Fate is not even on there side.

What can we all learn about true love from this story? Its gonna get you killed. The end.

How about Titanic

They fall in love, and then the guy dies.

The girl lives her life with sad sad memory of guy she once loved.


T would also like to point out that the story of titanic is also considered a TRAGEDY.

So why are they considered "great love stories"?? I mean, THEY ARE GREAT STORIES just not "great love stories."

For love stories, they are pretty terrible.

Who wants to find there true love then realize it impossible to live happily-ever-after EVER????!!!! Yay, I do. Just kidding...

(Did you catch the sarcasm?)

Disclaimer- This is My opinion, which can't be proven with any facts. If you disagree I won't try and dissuade you from your side of the issue. etc. blah. This shouldn't be taken too seriously...




I'm happy.

21:56 Oct 29 2010
Times Read: 672

"Today, I am happy. That is all."


"No reason. I just don't feel like walking out into traffic, or being reckless. Today the people I've talked to made me smile, and I made a few people smile. It feels good."

"But how long is that going to last?"

"I hope it stays."




Self Battle 2

20:52 Oct 28 2010
Times Read: 682

This conversation is not between two people. It takes palace inside my head:

"Hello. My name is Alexis and I am somewhat lost.


"Ok, ok. I am very lost."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because of the demon that dumped my in the middle of my imagination"

(Reference to Lucille Clifton's her love poem.)

"Wait! Wha..?!"

"That's my front page cover story today."

"I think we need to address the problem here. You're off topic, Alexis. Alexis do you realize that you have a problem."

"Yes, but I can not tell you neither the magnitude or vector of it. I know it's there but I choose not to acknowledge it."

"But how are you going to solve it?"

"Solve what?"

"The problem. Focus."

"You know me better than I do. Solutions?"

"No, only you know yourself."

"That's where you're wrong. I don't even know what I want to major in. I'm completing a particular major because it's already what I'm doing. Do I like it? I don't know. I am lost. How easy it is for people to exclaim they 'know me' before rendering question marks above there heads when I ask what should I do. I'm lost."

Quoting JTHM by Jhonen Vasquez: "There's nothing terribly wrong with the feeling of being lost, so long as the feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it...Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their discomfort like a favorite shirt..."

"True. I have an idea, but whether it will solve the problem is a mystery.."

"And what idea is that?"




Good Day

00:05 Oct 27 2010
Times Read: 688

Omg. I went to tutoring yesterday and came out feeling great.

The reason why I couldn't solve the problems I had the most trouble with was because the book failed to mention that although the motion was horizontal that you were supposed to use acceleration due to gravity. With that filled in,there is only one missing variable and you are really basic algebra away from the answer.

Plus, we did some derivations of the equations in the book and suddenly where the answers are coming from make a bit more sense.

I was 3 chapters behind.

Now, it's one. But the current chapter isn't making my head spin.

Mood: Triumphant.

Since it's October, of course I have to bring up the horror movies.

House of Wax- too scary. The image of the lady getting her finger cut off stayed with me the first time I watched it. I'm not watching again.

Practical Magic- not scary at all. I love this movie.

Fear- epic. :)

Saw- ingenious, but gross. Too gross. After the second one, I quit watching them.

Those are just my opinion; if you don't agree, lets agree to disagree beforehand. Argue= not fun.





01:34 Oct 25 2010
Times Read: 705

Rant to particular someone- if the shoe doesn't fit don't wear it:

I despise having to talking to you. You don't care about school, or anything else for that matter. If were going to get the project done, can you STOP trying to start a conversation with me about sex related things. Concentrate!

What makes you think that in few days I've known you that I am going to want to talk to you about that?

Your bullcrap about what I should do with my own body/life and why I should kiss you is ill-received.

If I do all the work myself, I REFUSE to put your name on any of the work.

You say we're "really good friends." Yeah, right. I think you're trying to use me, and I hate the feeling of being walked over. Leave me alone.




For Halloween

00:43 Oct 25 2010
Times Read: 708

I'm going to be a dead movie extra that's convinced that my 10 seconds of screen time elevated me to a-list celebrity status.




Today I..

23:38 Oct 23 2010
Times Read: 720

My sister is going on vacation to Ireland. I've never been there, but that sounds cool. Aren't they like 5 hours ahead of us?

I want to travel. SMH

1.Saw a live band.

2.Made a stupid bet with an acoustic guitar player. Now I need $10 because I owe him. I hope wegman's is still hiring.

3. Voted for the very first time EVER. Yay!

4. Went driving with my dad. Another day closer to getting my provisional license.





03:08 Oct 23 2010
Times Read: 727

Redundant, but relevant: Jason Voorhees v. Freddy Krueger? Jason wins, duh. :P

I LOVE how he seems to teleport in part 8. I'm curious as to HOW there is a part 10 when he technically went to hell at the end of part nine.



03:34 Oct 23 2010

it is a good movie


Great news

01:54 Oct 22 2010
Times Read: 733

The bus is finally off strike. Though there will be almost no change in the punctuality of there arrival, we now have to pay for the service. yay.




Lists of 5

01:07 Oct 22 2010
Times Read: 735

5 Artist's whose music I LOVE:





A perfect circle

5 Books that have altered me in some way

Harry potter series

Journey to Nowhere

Half Magic

Beach House by RL Stine

Tuck Everlasting

5 Fav Cartoon

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Invader Zim

Justice League

Sailor Moon


5 TV Shows

Project Runway

That's So Raven

Dead Like Me

Law and Order SPU


5 Fav Foods/Drinks





Fruit Punch

5 Phrases(There is a way you have to say, though)

Oh Sugarcookies


And. So.

Wait. Whaaa??

Look what I can do!! (Direct reference to mad tv's stuart)

To be conitinued...





00:42 Oct 22 2010
Times Read: 737

Funny story:

It's 7pm- here that means it pretty much completely dark outside. It's 50 degrees, so it's also really cold.

But apparently, the ice cream man felt the need to drive into the neighborhood at this time. To make matters worse, guess what song he's playing: Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Christmas music. LOL!! :D

Funny part over. If your still looking for laughs: exit here.

In English class were doing a poetry project; this is going to be fun. The poem my group was assigned is called"Breaking Tradition." Our group is 3 girls and 2 guys. We planned this out. All the girls would act out the roles of grandmother, mother, and daughter, the characters in the poem, while the guys split the reading of the poem. I get to dress up. I'm playing the mother, so I need to find a kimono somewhere. It looks like I'll be paying either the drama club or anime club a visit. There bound to know where they're sold.

I really wanted to play the daughter. The only thing from what the daughter is supposed wear that I don't have is the makeup. Once in blue moon you might find me with some lip gloss on or maybe some eyeshadow. That's only when I'm trying to impress... As for colorful clothing, my closet is the freakin rainbow. The only color you won't find is that nasty puke green color or pale pink. They are ordinary clothes but with my creative efforts, I manage to create a halloween costume every year with spending money on a pre-made costume.

A story of extreme luck. Before art class we're supposed to pre-read the chapters, which

I seldom do. Our teacher gave us a 3 question multiple choice pop quiz, and I got all three right. :D

Next time I'll have it read though...maybe.

I hate standing at the bus stop alone at 8am. I swear if another dude hanging out his car window try and say something to me it won't be pretty. I should print out a sign "Leave me alone." I have an entire list of reasons as to why I no longer will talk to anyone I don't know who I meet at the bus stop. I've seen some weird stuff. By weird, I mean stuff that's actaully freaked me out. Scared me. Stuff beyond my comprehension. It's not just one occurrence that soured my experience. It's many.

My parents were going to switch to Verizon on everything, which sounded awesome. They have the funimation channel which plays a show I like: Darker than black. But verizon sucks. They don't know where their own cable lines ares. It frustrating that they could cut our current cable line on accident to give our neighbor verizon, but when we call and ask: "It's not available in your neighborhood." We're the only house that lives, technically, on our street because the placement of our driveway. Our street is not in there system, apparently.






03:14 Oct 19 2010
Times Read: 748

Any time you are semi dependent on yahoo answers, you are so dead.

Signed up for tutoring which isn't until next week.

My physics test is next week.

Meanwhile, I search through answers through reasoning, and the internet. Mainly reasoning through drawing out all the force diagrams.The textbook might as well be not there. It doesn't explain; it only does.

I need to SEE the math. SEE it. SHOW me. I'm a VISUAL/MUSICAL learner. You got to either sing it in a song or show me if it's going to stay in my long term memory. How do you go from F = ma to a = g(mb/(ma + mb))?

I am so dead.

Mood: extinct.




12:22 Oct 19 2010

I too have a mind that sees as you.. maths and I met on the stairs once.. we didn't recognise one another.. at all.



02:07 Oct 18 2010
Times Read: 765

"The only reason you went to go see Eclipse is because Taylor Lautner is it."

1. I just wanted spend time with you, because I usually don't. :P

2. That is a great reason to go see a movie. Taylor Lautner transcends the cat. of "hot guy" and "straight sexy." He's "drool-worthy."

I typically laugh at obsessed fan girls, but admittedly I was one of the people screaming in the theater when Taylor Lautner came out and whenever he took off his shirt.




A thought

23:03 Oct 17 2010
Times Read: 769

Though death scares me, it's very heartening to think that something so impermanent as a human being can leave such a lasting legacy through the people one influences. In that way, one person may leave their mark on all of history. And they all do.

People tend to feel like their lives don't matter, they aren't affecting anything. Well it's very obvious to me that one person, through their everyday choices and decisions influences the... choices and decisions of other people, causing chain reactions to occur throughout the network of relationships, which, in this modern world, continues globally, causing a never-ending cascade of influence all starting with one person's simple decision. In this way, people affect themselves, other people, and generations into the future, eventually building up to have major impacts on global events and world history. Who knows what the future will bring? It's very likely that the simplest decision today will have cascading effects throughout the generations to affect a future in which Humans have traversed the Universe, literally having "universal" implication.

I'm not talking of a predetermined set of events. Like a "puzzle" that's already laid out, it's just missing some pieces. I mean that everything is yet to happen and so anything you do will affect the future for good or bad, and you must weigh not only the short-term consequences but the consequences that no one can foresee.

Consider an endless/shapeless puzzle with a space representing everyone's potential. As a person is born, the puzzle grows. Some people fill theirs with all they can achieve, while others are left empty for opportunities they missed. No one can see how big there space is, and no one can see the bigger picture.





02:20 Oct 16 2010
Times Read: 779

this made my evening!!





I Always do this

00:58 Oct 16 2010
Times Read: 782

I always get an idea, start writing a story. Then I get a new one, quit the old story, and work on the new one. The cycle is endless.

Should I force myself to finish, or just incorporate new ideas into older ones.



12:21 Oct 19 2010

I keep the old one going, as I move to the next.. 'n if it doesn't go.. I move back, then.. well you get the idea.. keep em both/all on the go...

17:14 Oct 31 2010

I agree with Angelus. Keep the old story and start the new one too.

I have the same problem and I don't even writing but I am on my third one right now. I am stuck at the moment but it will come I'm sure.

Good luck


Crosses fingers

00:41 Oct 16 2010
Times Read: 784

Please don't vote Bob Ehrlich into office.

Please don't vote Bob Ehrlich into office.

Please don't vote Bob Ehrlich into office.


He he gets in college tuition and book fees will skyrocket... :P




00:51 Oct 15 2010
Times Read: 794

What would you do? A certain someone reappears who has pissed you off and hurt your feelings in the past. Now they are acting like nothing happened. As if they should be on my good side.



00:55 Oct 15 2010

Tell em to beat feet, pound sand, go fuck themselves....

That's what I do.


How to...

21:37 Oct 14 2010
Times Read: 800

avoid those awkward conversations where random people come up to you and try to have a conversation about how smart you are/aren't.

1. Keep the fact your on scholarship to yourself.

2. Keep the fact your in honors program to yourself.

3. When they eventually find out- it's inevitable- act as if you have no clue what they are talking about.

College people behave like high school students, from what I observed. No one says hi to me unless they want/need something(with a few exceptions).

I said hello to my classmates in physics occasionally at the beginning of the semester and I felt like I didn't exist. Now, after the teacher announced all the people who got A's on the exam, there is a group of people who suddenly speaks to me. I exist.

Fortunately for them, I'm nice. I'm not going to charge the crap out of them for helping with homework. ( I NEVER do other people's homework. I let them do it. I simply explain how.)

Plus, its a win-win for me. Re-explaining helps me to catch my own mis-interpretations and talking about the work helps me to remember.

I do realize they're probably not really my friends..

Reference to previous entry: I didn't do it, though, for a while I was tempted. It taunts me still, but...

My doctor equates my sudden shift in mood to the insomnia med she put me on...

I'd rather not sleep than to be a human test subject.




By the end of this semester

03:59 Oct 13 2010
Times Read: 804

my head will implode on itself. I'm afraid that the thing I almost did-but I was too afraid to- will appear appealing and seemingly more rational than anything else.




Bad morning..

14:55 Oct 11 2010
Times Read: 810

Well, the bus system is still on strike... The service is limited and unpredictable.

I already missed 2 classes because of them.

Oh, well.

I'll still make it to my evening classes.

Anywho, I have some t-shirt ideas:

Wanted: *insert my face* will rain on parades and burst peoples bubbles often

"i already hate you 99%. If you say hi its 100%" (I probably wouldn't wear this one, but I like it.)

10% virgin 90% sexual predator( courtesy of one of mi besties)(im not putting this on a shirt if i have to wear it...I just thought it was funny...)

'I love you so much you must kill me now..." (Marilyn Manson lyrics)

" I might be crazy. you're making it worse."

" I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it..." FOB lyrics




Pointless rant

02:21 Oct 11 2010
Times Read: 812

Crazed redskins fans + beer = irrational drunken purchases of overpriced merchandise.

Being in retail is really interesting when your customers of these people.




Self battle

23:26 Oct 09 2010
Times Read: 820

I'm going to do my homework right now.

No, I'm not.

I need to finish by tuesday.

There's plenty of time.

But you have lab monday;there's no way you could possibly do it all then..

Logic: 1 pt.

Happy: 0

Logic wins this round.

I'm logging off now.



01:38 Oct 10 2010

I feel your pain. I am fighting with myself right now.



21:08 Oct 08 2010
Times Read: 828

Just had a WTH! moment. This video scares me a bit.


Some of my friends consider themselves gamers but I've never seen behavior this...obsessive. Is that the word? I don't know what this is, but it's scary. Ok?



21:08 Oct 09 2010

lads... what do you do with 'em?

give 'em My Little Pony??



21:54 Oct 05 2010
Times Read: 838

My mom just told me she doesn't care about how much homework I have, but her house will come first.

Yet, she's the very first person to criticize my grades..

She consistently interrupts my quiet homework/study time to have me hand her the remote, find her cigarettes(I HATE SMOKING WITH A PASSION- It's clearly declining her health. She just had a freakin asthma attack not to long ago), or other things.

She has no problem calling me lazy if I bring home any less than an A.

Today, she yelled at me for changing out the aquarium water. The fish show acute signs of ammonium poisoning. To me, that like walking past a person having a heart attack to go to a party, and then returning to call the ambulance. No, I'm not waiting.

I'm just stressed. 15 credits, with 6 of those being honors equals my free time down the drain. She tells me to focus on school, but ironically, she'll just pile up "responsibilities" and try to make them into my "priorities" knowing I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with assignments.

It's just so frustrating.



14:15 Oct 06 2010

.. it does get easier.


Life advances

17:01 Oct 02 2010
Times Read: 842

1. My uncle passed away.

2. Our campus was recently evacuated for a gas leak; sort of scary.

3. It was rainy and dreary for the past 3 days.

4. I have 3 tests on monday, I need to do some serious studying for.

5. My art project is due monday.

You wouldn't believe that this isn't the worst I ever felt. Not even close.

You just got to smile, live, and move on, I guess.



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