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I have deleted most of my previous entries due to the fact that they were written in a state of confusion, and did not serve me anymore.



Now as I sit here in my East Texas ranch home, everything I want and need is quite clear. I needed to come home to Texas, because no matter where I lay my head at night, Texas will always be my home.



I have finally found my true soulmate, and have found the true love of a man that I have searched for all my life. He has helped me to become once more who and what I truely am. And for this I will never be able to thank him enough. I love you Jaison.



My beautiful Devina.......I love you as well. I know I have hurt you over the past few weeks by distancing myself from you, but it was a nessessary thing. The inner demons and pain I had to endure would have hurt you greatly, so I did what I thought was best and distanced myself from you, to in my mind at least......protect you. I pray that someday you can forgive me, and understand that I had to deal with this alone. And that I love you truely.





ReddWolff my friend, companion, confidant, and spiritual mentor. I know that I have hurt you as well over these last few weeks, but just as is the case with Devina, I thought I was protecting you and shielding you from my pain. I love you deeply and hope you can come to understand why I have done what I have done, and let me be a part of your life once more.



Some of you who read this, will not understand. but thats alright, the people it was ment for...hopefully will see, that I am once more...truely me.