The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

You shouldn't read this. I don't know why anyone would bother. Everyone already knows how to make themselves crazy. It's all too easy to do. Life would be much better in some ways, if everyone knew how to make themselves sane instead. But those are what all of those self help books are for. This is not a self help book. This is a self hurt book. Put it down now, before you make yourself crazy.

If you are still reading, I suppose that you are ready to lose every ounce of self worth that you have. I suppose that you are ready to hate yourself beyond a reasonable doubt and for no reason at all. I would also assume that you were already a bit bonkers before reading this, because why else would you have continued reading after reading my first paragraph?

Step one of making yourself crazy is separating yourself from your friends. Your friends are bad. They will only bring you misery. They lie to you all of the time when they tell you that you are pretty and smart, etc. You are obviously obese and have an IQ of 40. Your friends will only try to convince you that you have something to offer the world. You don't. Get as far away from those assholes as you possibly can.

Step two is to stop doing anything at all productive. Work, paying bills, doing schoolwork, paying for things, etc. is all for people who are worth their weight in anything. You just take up air. You need to convince yourself that there is no point. I will address more about one not having a point in step three. You must tell yourself that working is for people who are going somewhere in life. You are not. You have nowhere to go, and nothing to offer anyone. Look, even your friends hate you and lie to you.

Step three is to stop believing in anything. Don't go to church or synagogue. Don't pray. There is nothing out there. There is no point to being good or being productive or doing anything at all. Staring at the ceiling is a wonderful pastime. So is sleeping. Only, they are both far too productive for you until you learn to stop thinking about anything at all positive. There is no higher power. There is no afterlife. When you die, you simply get thrown into a ground. What is the point of having yourself buried near the ocean or anything? You will never remember. When you die, nobody will know that you are dead until you start to stink up the hall. Hopefully, if you have the air conditioner on high enough, then nobody will notice for at least a week or more. Frozen bodies don't smell as much.

Once you have finished those three steps, everything else will fall into place. You world will fall around you. You will either become an insomniac or sleep all of the time. You will be very depressed and not want to do anything. You will see yourself as a fat tub of lard who is just waiting for the world to end. You will hope that someone drops a nuclear bomb right on top of your house, or at least close enough so that you end up with radiation poisoning. What's the point to life anyway? You live, you die and that's the end of it. You hate your parents for procreating and stop talking to them.

You will hole yourself in your apartment until they come to evict you and at that point you will be sitting like the guy in the wall after he had taken way too many drugs. They will cart you off to a mental hospital where you will sit amongst other highly medicated depressed people who also have nothing to live for. You will sit in your bed even though they tell you that you have to go to group therapy. They will take your mattress from you so that you 'have' to do things, so you will sleep on the springs. The coloured tiles are too bright for you and the pattern drives you crazy.

You start to see things. Black holes open up in the patterned floor. People are trying to kill you. Nobody loves you. You don't even love you. They don't let you shave because they are afraid that you are going to kill yourself. Little do they know, but there are plenty of other ways for you to kill yourself, you just don't see the point. It would take too much energy to kill yourself.

You stop showering. You stop eating. They both take too much energy and you're very fat anyway, so you won't get sick. They put you on a feeding tube. That's fine with you. Who cares anyway. It's not like you're trying to kill yourself. You just don't see the point. Crazy people walk by your room all of the time. Muttering to themselves, shaking from the amount of medications they are on. It's a good thing that you're not like them. There's nothing wrong with you at all. As a matter of fact, you aren't sure why you're in there. It's not like you're suicidal. You just don't believe in life.

Nurses are always smiling at you. You don't know why. They work in a place with a bunch of nuts. Who the hell would be happy at a job like that? Are they stupid?

Your parents come to visit. "You need to get better." They say. You don't respond. What's the point anyway? They sit by your side. They tell you that they love you. That they're there for you. You lay there. Pretending to be asleep. Or like that funny Terri Schiavo woman. What was wrong with her anyway? An eating disorder, hah!

The doctor comes in for rounds every morning. "Now how are we this morning?" He asks with a smile. You just stare. What is wrong with the world? "Perhaps we should put you on some Seraquil, that will help with the psychosis." You don't respond. Medicine won't help the world be a better place. "You really should get out and do some occupational therapy. That would be good for you, you can even take your feeding tube with you. You can do some art. How does that sound?" You glare at him. What is his problem? Doesn't he get that you don't feel like it? Retard. He should be in here. He shouldn't be the doctor. All he does is smile as he shoves medicine down people’s throats.

One day, after being in the ward for three weeks, you decide that you don't feel like sitting there any longer. You rip out your feeding tube, and all of the numerous other things that you are hooked up to and things start to beep. Nurses start to run in. You walk past them. They grab onto you. You push them away. They call a code red. You try to steal their key cards. They keep grabbing at you, but you are so skinny that they can't keep hold. The security nurses come in. Three big, huge men. They wrestle you to the floor and stick a needle in your ass. As you are falling asleep, you have finally reached the point of absolutely insane. Congratulations.

COMMENTS

-

---

Vampireking777
21:50 Feb 16 2019

Well you do drive me crazy when you dont get back to me what is the deal with that a little odd is all im saying

---

POST COMMENT