To the endless mystery..
Darkness. What is the meaning of the word? It depends on who you ask. To some the word means something in life that you shouldn't be doing while others feel it is on the verge of death or death itself. For me I think there is layers of darkness and each layer is darker than the last one. From temptation, obsession, on to death and so on. I am learning on this site that we all feel differently about the world and see things differently in the darkness while others want you to fall into their trap.
To each their own.
the partial or total absence of light.
"the office was in darkness"
wickedness or evil.
"the forces of darkness"
Day after day I would check, and month after month until recently as I thought a lot would change. Now I am wondering if it’s worth being on here. Barely anyones on, or open for conversation (appropriate) about what this website is about. What hopes squashed. Maybe I’ll just let the time run out. Who knows….
Yep, yeppity, yep, yep!
I am not kidding when I said this will be a boring entry as it is not typical for me to do, yet I feel obligated to give an entry. So why did I disappear from our small paradise here on rave? Good question! Here is some stupid reasons for you.
1) NO ONE IS EVER ON THAT IS APPROPRIATE.
2) No one wants to ever just chat about same interests or something new. (New's bad, hahaha)
3) No games. I am a gamer, a geek, a comic book reader etc... BORED!
4) Same +*&^ different day in which I am usually fine in but I want to see/hear/read mystery or whatever.. ugh.
5) I moved & it took a lot of my time.
6) I had to be human & go through personal issues in life & work them out. D*mn feelings.
7) Sometimes I just climb in my shell & don't want to be disturbed.
8) I knew I have multiple messages that only say "hey" in them .... ugh, get a clue.
So now that I am done whining and feeling bad for myself about why I am gone I will try and shape up to be present and humble.
Oh f*ck, who am I kidding?
It has been a sh*t end of the year and I am over it already. The only good this is the move into my new home. Everyone has ups and downs in life so apparently this is mine for the time being. I haven't even fact checked lately so it is not just the site that I have been avoiding. Maybe I am the only human that does this when life doesn't go the way you want them to but for me this is how I shut down. "F*ck it" is usually my attitude and lately I have been ugly with it, but I will tell you what... a lot of drama has been avoided as no one wants to bring me into it so it has paid off in some ways. I have also kicked a lot of people permanently out of my life with no regrets. I always thought I could carry them as well as my own life, I forgot I was human. So much for trying to help people when they do not want to help themselves as you cannot force change on someone who refuses it.
So what now? Good question.
I am here and present for now but no promises on the future as I am not sure on where I stand in life as I feel a shift in the soul.
Have a good night as the darkness consumes you along with me and may I see you somewhere in it.
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