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TheVileAngel's Journal



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PROFILE




6 entries this month

 

This place...

02:14 Dec 29 2008
Times Read: 564


is staring to wear thin and bore me...





no matter how many times I think I find a place or people... I am reminded that it's just not for me.





blah...







I suppose I should just get back to work.









Lots to do before I die...









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Hate this...

19:03 Dec 25 2008
Times Read: 568


I love being shown that I was correct about humanity.



I love that special feeling of betrayal I get when I oofer forgiveness at the price of honesty and they decide they cannot afford such a price.



I love knowing that the world does suck and there's a good reason for my ill will towards mankind in general.





Yes.







I love it.











I wish you could feel it... I wish you could feel my hate. It's so very nice.


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Sadness...

02:46 Dec 18 2008
Times Read: 574


yeah.





Sometimes... I see the cracks and the darkness behind them. I see what is beyond this and I know I belong there.







Sometimes... everything I see is a sign I need to leave this place.







I'm not one of you...







I don't belong...







...


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How to Kill My Beloved Soul...

17:05 Dec 15 2008
Times Read: 576






But you see… the truth is, nothing will ever matter again.















I have finally defeated love.



It has been my curse, the bane of my existence for as far as I can remember… probably farther back than that.



I do not say this lightly, nor do I say it prematurely. Most, if not all, who read this will fail to understand the meaning of this statement. All of you are so engulfed in your own illusory world that you fail to grasp just what I mean. You probably see this as an emo statement, simply screaming out loud with false decrees of suicidal thoughts. But you are wrong. You are also stupid…. But I digress.







Having tasted of lips I'd dreamt of for far too long and been shown the true nature of the diabolical beast that dwells within… having fought for those beneath me and been stabbed in the feet by their capricious duplicity… having been shown my worth in the eyes of those I trusted with my heart… I see something which I had not before.



I see the ultimate end.







I see truth as you cannot understand it.







And that truth is…



















nothing.































So I am a nihilist.



That's what everyone will say. I've already started hearing it… but it's not quite true.



For those who do not know what a Nihilist is, I will explain.



To be a nihilist, one must reject the established order and view all around them as something which must be destroyed. The most common nihilist would say that order must be destroyed so that a new order can begin. I do not think that is a true nihilist. That is a copout. It is more or less saying that if it's not my way, it all has to go so that ONLY my way can exist. That's truly not me.



Another type of nihilist is similar to an anarchist in the way that they reject all morality and think all life, all things and all of existence should be destroyed. An anarchist just wants to create a little chaos, whereas these guys just want it all over with. They are generally suicidal and often consumed by hate. This sounds a little more like me, but still off a few degrees.



You see, I love all of the universe and everything in it. I see it as so beautiful and harmonious that I cannot help but have a profound respect for it. I especially love women, nature, swords and things to do with space. That's just a little of what makes me smile. It is also in my nature to have compassion for all those around me, even my enemies. I am very forgiving and encourage growth and evolution in all. I fully support the system which is in place in the universe.



So you see? I'm not really a nihilist.







No… I'm just sick of the lies and feel as if I do not belong here.



You see, I do believe that if people do their parts, the world will grow and evolve as it should. I think that sometimes you need order and other times, chaos. I have always considered myself balanced. It is not the world I think should end…. It is my life within it. I simply have no further interest in life and want to destroy the energy that makes up my own soul. In order to do this, it may be necessary to bring an end to all life, space and time. To me… this is an acceptable loss.



All are one. All energy is really a measure of the whole. This is something scientists muse about and philosophers have waxed about… but in truth, I know it as fact and have never had to think about it. Until now.



I have finally conquered love, as I said above. I have finally seen an end to my compassion and looked upon the face I once called beauty and felt nothing but contempt. Perhaps there was an omen of my future when I wrote that story. Perhaps it should have been clear to me then…



Who cares.



Much like the Joker… I have glimpsed the true face of the universe and understand my role in it.







I am the Vile Angel.































I am the end.









COMMENTS

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poisonbutterfly
poisonbutterfly
05:47 Dec 31 2008

Wow....very well spoken.





 

My disease...

18:38 Dec 06 2008
Times Read: 598


As of late, I have been forced to realize the limitations I have placed upon myself with ideals such as honor. Some say they are outdated, but I think that they never truly applied to the human condition. Honor is a counter-productive detriment to one’s personality. True, I embrace it fully, but I am aware of how it is against the very nature of humanity.



You see… Agent Smith said it best when he likened humanity to a disease. But it is not simply man. It is LIFE. The universe began as ONE. A sudden, startling realization shot through the one as it had a brilliant idea… and thus, the big bang occurred. Life was suddenly separate.



Scientists have found evidence to support the theory that if you go back far enough, all information between cells was freely shared, but then one day, DIVISION happened and a cell became selfish. Other cells began to keep their information and soon, information swapping was as taboo as cum swapping. Sure, some did it, but they did it in private and it was generally frowned upon.



Anyway… I digress.



Life was like a virus, each type adapting and trying to overcome it’s surroundings. Creatures emerged with specific skills and abilities. This is what we see today. All life has it’s own place and skill set. There is a level of individuality, even though it’s all really the same damn thing.



As humans, we continue to adapt and grow, but we are rapidly rebelling and destroying the very system of which we are a part. This is probably because most humans are mere sheep and lack the vision to understand their nature as a virus. I feel as though perhaps I have become one of these sheep as well. So comfortable I have been with my honor and integrity, that I have remained stagnant.



I see now that we must behave like the disease that we are... simply adapting to each situation and overcoming it with mutating guile. We must not hold to goal oriented behavior because it would only lead to dead ends and failures. Instead, we must take every situation as a victory and not holding ourselves back from such things. Every chance to mutate and evolve... every opportunity to spread our sickness and infect others.... to lay seed in our enemy and cum in the mouths of all those who oppose us.



We must overcome or grow bored, brittle and beaten.



While I am not abandoning my honor… I do believe that I must learn not to extend this considerate treatment to those who, themselves, do not grasp such an evolved concept and merely act like the pig-monkey people they are. It’s like tipping the animals at the zoo. They don’t know what money is, why waste it on them. Give them a pat on the head and a slice of raw meat and save the respect for those of equal stature.



Meet each situation with it’s ideal response. Most people limit themselves in their reactions. They tend to react the same way to multiple stimuli… but we must be creative in our responses and not simply meet force with force. We must find the best way to overcome, not simply oppose. In relationships, people tend to argue, but how does that help? In a fight, people tend to use blunt trauma to force an opponent to yield… but how does that help?



It’s not a matter of finding your opponent’s weakness and exploiting it. That is pointless destruction of an asset. Sun Tzu once wrote that it is the acme of skill to turn an opponent into an ally. THIS is spreading your disease. In my recent years, I have met a great deal of people who have been my friends and enemies… and most have grown to realize that I make a good friend.



I consider this a victory.



While most of them toiled about and picked fights, spewed their anger out at the world and burnt bridges, I was solidifying my own world and gaining strength. Now they see my stability and respect that. Now _I_ am the virus. Now is MY time to spread. Like the Borg from Star Trek, I assimilate and I offer a better life to those who join me… but unlike the Borg, I do not ignore those who do not wish to join me.



I seed my enemy with my disease… and in time… I have new friends.





>}~


COMMENTS

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blah

14:25 Dec 05 2008
Times Read: 616


So another website... another profile...





Kind of like life... an endless search for something which does not exist...


COMMENTS

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