is staring to wear thin and bore me...
no matter how many times I think I find a place or people... I am reminded that it's just not for me.
blah...
I suppose I should just get back to work.
Lots to do before I die...
I love being shown that I was correct about humanity.
I love that special feeling of betrayal I get when I oofer forgiveness at the price of honesty and they decide they cannot afford such a price.
I love knowing that the world does suck and there's a good reason for my ill will towards mankind in general.
Yes.
I love it.
I wish you could feel it... I wish you could feel my hate. It's so very nice.
yeah.
Sometimes... I see the cracks and the darkness behind them. I see what is beyond this and I know I belong there.
Sometimes... everything I see is a sign I need to leave this place.
I'm not one of you...
I don't belong...
...
As of late, I have been forced to realize the limitations I have placed upon myself with ideals such as honor. Some say they are outdated, but I think that they never truly applied to the human condition. Honor is a counter-productive detriment to one’s personality. True, I embrace it fully, but I am aware of how it is against the very nature of humanity.
You see… Agent Smith said it best when he likened humanity to a disease. But it is not simply man. It is LIFE. The universe began as ONE. A sudden, startling realization shot through the one as it had a brilliant idea… and thus, the big bang occurred. Life was suddenly separate.
Scientists have found evidence to support the theory that if you go back far enough, all information between cells was freely shared, but then one day, DIVISION happened and a cell became selfish. Other cells began to keep their information and soon, information swapping was as taboo as cum swapping. Sure, some did it, but they did it in private and it was generally frowned upon.
Anyway… I digress.
Life was like a virus, each type adapting and trying to overcome it’s surroundings. Creatures emerged with specific skills and abilities. This is what we see today. All life has it’s own place and skill set. There is a level of individuality, even though it’s all really the same damn thing.
As humans, we continue to adapt and grow, but we are rapidly rebelling and destroying the very system of which we are a part. This is probably because most humans are mere sheep and lack the vision to understand their nature as a virus. I feel as though perhaps I have become one of these sheep as well. So comfortable I have been with my honor and integrity, that I have remained stagnant.
I see now that we must behave like the disease that we are... simply adapting to each situation and overcoming it with mutating guile. We must not hold to goal oriented behavior because it would only lead to dead ends and failures. Instead, we must take every situation as a victory and not holding ourselves back from such things. Every chance to mutate and evolve... every opportunity to spread our sickness and infect others.... to lay seed in our enemy and cum in the mouths of all those who oppose us.
We must overcome or grow bored, brittle and beaten.
While I am not abandoning my honor… I do believe that I must learn not to extend this considerate treatment to those who, themselves, do not grasp such an evolved concept and merely act like the pig-monkey people they are. It’s like tipping the animals at the zoo. They don’t know what money is, why waste it on them. Give them a pat on the head and a slice of raw meat and save the respect for those of equal stature.
Meet each situation with it’s ideal response. Most people limit themselves in their reactions. They tend to react the same way to multiple stimuli… but we must be creative in our responses and not simply meet force with force. We must find the best way to overcome, not simply oppose. In relationships, people tend to argue, but how does that help? In a fight, people tend to use blunt trauma to force an opponent to yield… but how does that help?
It’s not a matter of finding your opponent’s weakness and exploiting it. That is pointless destruction of an asset. Sun Tzu once wrote that it is the acme of skill to turn an opponent into an ally. THIS is spreading your disease. In my recent years, I have met a great deal of people who have been my friends and enemies… and most have grown to realize that I make a good friend.
I consider this a victory.
While most of them toiled about and picked fights, spewed their anger out at the world and burnt bridges, I was solidifying my own world and gaining strength. Now they see my stability and respect that. Now _I_ am the virus. Now is MY time to spread. Like the Borg from Star Trek, I assimilate and I offer a better life to those who join me… but unlike the Borg, I do not ignore those who do not wish to join me.
I seed my enemy with my disease… and in time… I have new friends.
>}~
So another website... another profile...
Kind of like life... an endless search for something which does not exist...
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