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James and I haven't told any of our family about our engagement... but i made of comment in an online message of some sort and His step mom, Michelle, to which she left me a comment saying... you don't tell your family these things? they are the one's that will tell you when you are doing something wrong!

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My responce to her comment:



Michelle,

I am sorry if I offended you by not telling you. It was a recent conversation we had. From what James said he has been thinking about it for a while and even brought it up to his Dad is passing a while back. We know we want to be together but we did want to make anyone jump to conclusions about us running out and doing it right now, or anything. We figured it was better to wait and tell everyone once we are ready to set a date and stuff.



It's NOT going to happen anytime soon, Like I told you guys when it was brought up before, I don't wanna get married 'til after I graduate college. I need to be able to support myself before I take that step. I don’t want to be in a situation where I have a worry a lot about being able to make bills and stuff like that. I love James I intend on spending a my life with him. It’s more about having that commitment to each other than it is about getting married.



Tori



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Her Responce:

It seem to me like you want some people to know and want the attention for it but your leaving the people out who would tell you things like you haven't been together long enough or you not mature enough to make that type of choice. It would not be something I found on my space if you didn't want to advertise it and if the two of you were truly mature enough to be "engaged". This whole thing just screams two teens( not young adults) with fluttery hearts and NO common sense to me! Its about the title and how the title sounds to other people not the actual commitment.



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My responce:

Title or not I want to be with James... it's not a title I use very often, there are maybe 3 other people we have told. I'm not trying to flaunt it.



We didn't come out and tell you when we decided because we knew how you would react and for the time being we didn't... and don't want the argument.



I know you don't like the situation... and I don't know that we really have an argument as to why we feel we are making the right decision (other than it's how we feel). Maybe we are little kids rushing things... it's something I have thought about also. But we have thought it through and come to the conclusion that it's what we want. We aren't going out to do it anytime soon. As much as James wants to do it now, Both of us realize that we aren't ready for that. We've gone over it several times and at this point... we intend on spending rest of our lives together. And that is what it is about.



I appreciate your concern for the both of us, but I... We ask that you try to respect our decisions and allow us to make them for ourselves.



I am... and have been trying very hard not to offend you, Michelle. I know you have a lack of trust in/with James and because of that also in me. If we were going to do it you guys would know before hand. I promise you that. It's not going to be for a while.



Tori