The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

you all know the saying... you never really know what you want until its gone.... but what you dont know is what happens when you get it back... i mean do you only want that something because it is gone?.. in my experiences.. this could be true... you think you want something... maybe you just miss it... and it would be occasionally nice to do or see these things that are now gone...



for me its all messed up... is it ok to question something you have known for something new... i cant give you the answer to that one... for i dont even know where to begin....



the situation i am in... i have my boyfriend whom i know and love so dearly... and then.... this new girl... whom i have been with before.... had a little fun.... or messed around whichever way you want to say it... and now... im questioning what i want... whether i want to stay with my boyfriend... or be single again... there is also a guy who was quite upset when i got my boyfriend.... but he was with someone at that time so the reason for his sadness is unknown to me.... just so many things coming at me at once... im started to question my relationship...



but the funny thing out of all of it... im not questioning my love for him (bf).... i know in my soul i love him... its just... i question whether or not this is the right time to be with him... we have had the conversation about whether or not im ready or stable enough to handle a relationship... see when my mom died... i went through i huge period of not caring.... about anything... he tried to be with me then.... but i couldnt do it... he understood and disappeared... for a few months... (like he always seemed to do randomly)... and one day i realized.... that i couldnt be away from him any longer... and we have been back together ever since.... but now... i guess im questioning whether or not im ready for the relationship thing yet... whether i should stay single for a bit longer...



it hurts to not know... to maybe make the wrong decision... to lose something i love... to maybe never get it back... afraid to hurt someone...



what do you do when you dont have an answer...

what do you do when you dont know what to do...

what can you do when you dont want to hurt...

what can you do when you dont feel a thing...



all are questions that have no answer... i guess normally... you would follow your heart.... but right now... i cant feel my heart....

COMMENTS

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Cheetahcry
20:11 Nov 20 2008

ummm sounds like you still have feelings for this girl as well for your bf..... might wanna talk t your bf about the thoughts that you are having.......

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akashadarksoul
12:32 Nov 22 2008

You know i am here if you ever need to talk hun ~Akasha~

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