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VvBleedForMevV's Journal


VvBleedForMevV's Journal

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41 entries this month
 

20:54 Sep 17 2021
Times Read: 20









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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
23:26 Sep 17 2021

This is a classic, love it!





 

05:54 Sep 16 2021
Times Read: 42









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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
06:37 Sep 16 2021

Good song hun..





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
16:59 Sep 16 2021

The image I see when listening to this... Damn. Quite beautiful.





VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
18:00 Sep 16 2021

Now I’m curious what that image is. You really have a lot that goes on in that noggin of yours don’t you? *grins*





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
18:26 Sep 16 2021

ROFL Always. My brain NEVER shuts down (and hardly ever slows down). But admittedly, for the first time in years, I haven't minded what's continually gotten stuck in my head for awhile.





 

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02:40 Sep 16 2021
Times Read: 45


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23:35 Sep 15 2021
Times Read: 55


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18:56 Sep 15 2021
Times Read: 66









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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
19:09 Sep 15 2021

Love this song hun...

Truth!!!





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
01:34 Sep 16 2021

Yes, indeed. I had to listen to it twice, because it got stuck in my head the first time. Lol





 

03:11 Sep 15 2021
Times Read: 83









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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
03:16 Sep 15 2021

I love these two artists' great video.





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
03:33 Sep 15 2021

It gives a whole other meaning to "angel of death", for sure.



 

Love this song

06:26 Sep 14 2021
Times Read: 107









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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
07:11 Sep 14 2021

Is it a bad thing, or a good thing that you got me "hooked on" this one? Lol



VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
07:14 Sep 14 2021

Lol I don’t know you tell me? The video is just as brilliant it’s like a mini movie.





VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
07:22 Sep 14 2021

You got me hooked on that Ghost song you posted. Lol





ThanaNight
ThanaNight
07:23 Sep 14 2021

This is one of their best, love it...





VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
07:29 Sep 14 2021

Definitely.





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
22:04 Sep 14 2021

@ThanaNight I think we can all agree on that one, girly.

@VvBleedForMevV And I think I shall take great pride in getting you hooked on "Cirice". Lol It really is a beautiful song.





 

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14:54 Sep 13 2021
Times Read: 118


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20:36 Sep 12 2021
Times Read: 139


I do not think of you anymore and when I do the sting is no longer there.
I have moved on and others have come into my life now.
I used to be angry but I no longer am because those that where meant to come to me in my physical life have.
You may think me a fool that I have continued on in a vengeful way but I’m wiser than you give me credit for.
You really never did know me the way you were meant to but that chance has long past. I know now there is nothing that you hold that I do not already possess inside.
I do not need you to guide me and it seems I never did. You’re utter refusal and negligence of the situation has made me stronger and taught me that I do not need you. I will walk this path with or without you despite it all.
I only wanted to be apart of your life but it’s seems this lifetime was not meant to go that way. I have moved on. I have let go of my anger of your betrayal.


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15:06 Sep 11 2021
Times Read: 160


So I had another dream where I was having a conversation with someone again. Wish I could remember it like when I first woke up because whatever it was was pretty good but I fell back to sleep before I could write it down and I lost it.


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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
20:39 Sep 11 2021

I hate it when that crap happens. The messed up thing is that it usually happens to me all the time.



 

17:15 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 195


I feel a little better I had a really long phone conversation with a friend last night and talked through some things that was bothering me about some of the things that I’ve been feeling about our relationship and another’s relationship.
I’m rarely ever specific about who the issues are about on here. There were a couple issues with different people going all at the same time I was dealing with but things are okay now and have come to a resolution.


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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
17:47 Sep 09 2021

I am happy things got resolved...





 

Oh oh feelings..

03:11 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 229


So I feel like a lot of times people are afraid to tell me how they really feel about me. Like I can’t handle it like I’m some delicate flower that’s going to fall apart.
So people become passive aggressive with me and make off handed comments towards me while saying they are joking or kidding. They try to tone me down because they can’t handle when I cry or get emotional and god I’m not saying it’s not my problem but what the hell?!
I guess I’m just too much for people to some extent. Or maybe I’m failing somewhere I’m not seeing here.


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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
03:30 Sep 09 2021

Well, hun, I have been right there, I was also told I was an emotional person. I say fuck it be the women your meant to be if they don't like it fuck them. Don't change yourself for anyone, if they can't handle your nature that is their problem. I love my friends just the way they are, hun.





VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
03:36 Sep 09 2021

Honestly I think it’s about their own anxiety and their own fear of being too emotionally vulnerable.
I think my vulnerability is scary to them but I could be completely off base there.





 

Setting boundaries be like..

02:26 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 234









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01:37 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 255


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22:04 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 264


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17:33 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 293


Let’s get one thing straight I don’t need you. I chose to have you in my life. I could just as easily cut you out of my life if need be.
I have mental funerals all the time.
I have wasted too much of my life on people that shouldn’t have been worth my time and most of those people were people in my life that I didn’t have control of because I was a child at the time.
I will do what I damn well want when I damn well please and not before I’m ready to.
And it was so fucking close just so close…
I won’t make excuses for others poor behavior. I’m not going to disrespect myself that way again.
Just know you fucked up. I only give those control who are worthy to have it.


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ThanaNight
ThanaNight
17:39 Sep 08 2021

Well, put hun...





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
20:53 Sep 08 2021

I would certainly have to agree.



 

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07:50 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 299


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05:34 Sep 08 2021
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00:50 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 310









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17:24 Sep 07 2021
Times Read: 333


You’re not always going to agree with people and they aren’t always going to agree with you. *shrugs*
You can’t please everyone or make everyone happy.
You know what I’m okay with that.
But what I’m not going to do is change because someone doesn’t like me or how I think.
I can change some things but some things can’t be changed that easily.
Like I always say You do you boo.
I have lived in a relationship for 18 years building myself around a person that wanted me to be what he wanted me to be and not who I really am.
I have wasted enough of my life with that shit. So I’m just going to be me and as they say your approval is not needed.


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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
23:48 Sep 07 2021

Amen, to that, lovely.



 

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14:00 Sep 07 2021
Times Read: 336


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16:13 Sep 06 2021
Times Read: 368


I had to remind him today that I don’t want him touching me.
I guess he thinks he has kissed ass enough honestly I don’t care how much he kisses my ass. I told him as soon as I’m able I’m out.
It’s not like I haven’t made it very clear what’s happening here.
Then of course he tried to use the Bible against me trying to guilt me into forgiving him because I was standing up for myself because he was literally thinking he was going to get sex out of me. I’m not a fucking doormat. Just because we are still technically married doesn’t mean he has a right over MY body.
I’m done playing the games he hasn’t changed he is still doing his narc shit.
He acted all surprised when I said the things I said like I was acting so terrible. Lol The gasp of surprise was fucking comical and of course designed to make me feel like I was acting out for no reason at all like a small child throwing a tantrum. When I was literally communicating my boundaries yet again to him. This is a few of his favorite line of attacks when things aren’t going his way.
I’m sorry but the things he has said and did to me over the course of 18 years were way worse then me refusing to let him touch me.
It’s sad that I am having to be a bitch about this. It’s sad I have to cut myself off from my heart just so I don’t fall for this shit anymore.
I hate it.


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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
19:09 Sep 06 2021

This sounds way too familiar, I have to say...
I certainly don't blame you one bit. And I know exactly where you're coming from, too.




 

03:21 Sep 06 2021
Times Read: 379









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14:16 Sep 05 2021
Times Read: 390


Perhaps all love really is is learning to love the shadows in another…


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04:57 Sep 05 2021
Times Read: 413


Why won’t people let me thank them and show my gratitude to them when they are kind or do something nice for me?
It’s not just one person but more than one now in my life.
It kinda pisses me off.
Maybe there’s something I’m missing??
I feel bad because I wish I could do more for others but I’m just not in a place in my life where I can do that for others. So I do the only thing I can do is try to offer my friendship to others.
*sighs*


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23:02 Sep 04 2021
Times Read: 424


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22:36 Sep 04 2021
Times Read: 431


I just can’t with these people today. :/
I’m really trying hard not to be antisocial but it’s not working so well. I get needing to vent I really do and I’ll listen but it’s coming from multiple angles today and I just want to be left the fuck alone.
I think I’m just going to shut my phone off. I’m tired of people putting me as the go between in their relationships.
It’s okay for everyone else to have a freak out session but when I go to have one I get shut down and I’m not given the same in return. Da fuck?!
Learn how to communicate for fuck sakes.


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00:30 Sep 04 2021
Times Read: 451









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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
13:35 Sep 04 2021

Talk about a haunting melody. I absolutely Love it.



 

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21:29 Sep 03 2021
Times Read: 462


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18:39 Sep 03 2021
Times Read: 492


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The shark tank

16:52 Sep 03 2021
Times Read: 510


So…I think people just don’t know when to let shit go.
I figure somehow they will fuck themselves in the end. *shrugs*
Why put so much effort into making someone feel the way you are. I’m sure if the role was reversed you wouldn’t like it done to you.
It will all be fun and games until she snaps and kills him and or herself.
Ever see Carrie?? Lol
Anyway I had my fun joined in a bit myself but come people. I don’t like her either but now this is getting a little sad and boring if you ask me.
Not to mention it is now becoming harassment and flaming.


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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
20:40 Sep 03 2021

Okay, now, are you talking about the TV show "Shark Tank"? Or is something else going on in life at your end?



VvBleedForMevV
VvBleedForMevV
20:49 Sep 03 2021

Nah just the normal VR fuckery. Lol





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
22:36 Sep 03 2021

I should've figured. Not the first time I've been wrong, but damn-it, I'm actually glad when I am wrong, at times.



 

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01:10 Sep 03 2021
Times Read: 530


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23:20 Sep 02 2021
Times Read: 537


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22:17 Sep 02 2021
Times Read: 544


This horse feels like it’s galloping too fast for me.


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19:03 Sep 02 2021
Times Read: 547


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02:35 Sep 02 2021
Times Read: 554


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18:35 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 567









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06:41 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 504









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06:03 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 508


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04:50 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 208









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EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
06:25 Sep 01 2021

This is actually... almost depressingly beautiful.



 

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00:28 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 224


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