Honor: 72 [ Give / Take ]
46 entries this month
22:45 Aug 31 2021
Times Read: 39
00:24 Aug 31 2021
Times Read: 75
Say what you will... I always thought Nashandra was pretty badass. She started as a tiny thing, the smallest fragment out of her sisters, and grew to derail an entire kingdom. She appears out of nowhere in the guise of this beautiful petite blonde, seduces the king, convinces him to go across an ocean, pick a fight with GIANTS, and steal from them.
Then she uses the PC to finish her dirty work, clearing the way to the one thing she's always wanted, and tries to kill them when they're done. I've always loved the evil queen archetype. I get it❤
04:19 Aug 30 2021
Times Read: 112
I want it, but then I'm like... but what the fuck would I wear it with?
00:52 Aug 30 2021
Times Read: 135
I forgot. My Luna Hightops came in last week.
I fucking love Halloween ^^
Ok, I swear I'm done buying shoes... For at least a week or two xD
00:11 Aug 30 2021
Times Read: 150
I still think it's funny that years before I met Wolfie I bought this perfume from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. I had completely forgotten about it until recently I looked in my perfume box, and was like... Because they have a million different perfumes from Wonderland to fantasy to spooky, witchy things. There was one called Blood Popsicle that I've got somewhere. But out of all the types I picked Persephone first. And then R'lyeh because I've been a huge Lovecraft nerd since I was like 12 years old... But, the very first one I chose was Persephone. And there is backstory to that.
In 9th grade when they went in hard in English class teaching us about Greek Mythology, we had to choose, and rewrite our favorite story. And I chose Hades and Persephone. I always loved their story, I never saw it as violent or forced. I always felt a connection to their story. And I hadn't told Wolfie that before. One day he said to me, "This thing between us, it really reminds me of Hades and Persephone." Not the circumstances of their story, although I have many times encouraged him to kidnap me xD But the aspects of their personalities, we always see them reflected in each other.
Is it possible that no matter what, through all the twists and turns and bullshit, we always end up exactly where we belong? I do believe in Fate❤
I may order a few more now that I'm thinking about it. I really want White Rabbit, but they're sold out.
Wait, wait, wait...
17:29 Aug 29 2021
Times Read: 163
This is fucking adorable, how have I never noticed it before😱
06:12 Aug 29 2021
Times Read: 183
I worked 12 straight hours on my feet. I normally work 4, and I was only going to have to work 6 tonight, but they called me in at 11 desperately needing help. So, of course, I went in because they're awesome, and I love my job. But holy shit, 12 hours was ridiculous. My boss did tell me I'd be getting a bonus, and everyone complimented me, which they also do, but even the temporary extra help they brought it were telling me how awesome I am. It feels good. Like I've mentioned, I really think it's the submissive in me that drives me to work so hard when I have a task in front of me. I will do it better than anyone, I will put my all into it, I will be the best. That's just who I am even when it comes to things that may not necessarily matter as much. People have this misconstrued view of me that just because I love video games, and shipping, and I have a boyfriend who will give me anything in the world, that I'm lazy. I'm really not. You know, I was sick for a long time, and then by the time I was ready to get out there, no one would give me a chance. But they did, and I'm grateful. That's all I needed, just one chance. They've become like another family to me already, and ya know, people don't always accept me so quick so it's nice. It's nice to have something even if it's just a crappy job at an ice cream/candy store.
I told Wolfie my job was trying to kill me though xD
19:13 Aug 27 2021
Times Read: 222
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
All of it, right now❤
02:04 Aug 27 2021
Times Read: 265
I had to get it. I HAD to. I... needed it for work? xD
Well. I've actually been using my Skeletor mini backpack for work. So maybe not necessarily need, but come on, I had to.
You know, it's funny. Wolfie has always compared me, and him to Hades and Persephone through our entire relationship. It used to make my ex really REALLY annoyed because I'd mention it on here like you know I do, and he'd just have to text me to tell me how wrong we were, that Hades forced Persephone into everything, and their relationship was terrible, and you shouldn't aspire to be like them. Which, we don't, there are just certain similarities, certain things we can relate to. And sure, you can interpret it that way, that he raped her, dragged her down to the Underworld, and tricked her into being with him. That's what's so awesome about mythology, it all depends on how you interpret it. If you think you know 100% certain what was going on in some Greek guy's head 3000 years ago, you're an ignorant dumbass. But then this comic came out, and it's basically everything that Wolfie always told me about Hades and Persephone. And it's not the only one. Isn't it awesome that other people INTERPRET it that way? That, despite the classic interpretation of it, other people also saw it differently. Not just us. Just sayin.
It's like the Harley and Joker thing. I, by no means, want a relationship like theirs. Can I see similarities between theirs and ours? Absolutely. But I'm not one of those psychos all like, "Omg, I just wanna find the Joker to my Harley, squeeee~♡" Fuck that shit, you have no idea. You have no clue what it's like to actually deal with or love someone with extreme mental illness if that's what's rolling around in your head. Or the people who approach me, and ask if I'll be upset if they do a Harley themed profile... I'm not sure what fantasy land you live in, but I ain't actually Harley Quinn. Hard to believe, I know. And my profile isn't "themed" after her, those are my fucking actual pictures, I don't need to cover my page in Google image search babes that aren't even close to what I actually am. Why not just be yourself? It's remarkably easy. My profile isn't themed at all. I remember a time I used to do it all up, put in all the effort to make it pretty... It feels so long ago now. Like... another life xD
03:15 Aug 26 2021
Times Read: 296
Turns out I am working tomorrow. So another week where I don't get a day off xD But I told them I'd work whenever. I didn't have to work today, but I didn't have anything better to do so why not? Extra money never hurts. I got stuck with stupid day shift tomorrow, but hopefully it'll be somewhat busy. I need the distraction. Wolfie has plummeted into a depression episode. It's crazy, he was perfectly fine yesterday, happy even, and now he says he's going to be gone for a bit because he can't deal with anyone right now, even me. So that sucks. I'm on my own. Maybe for a day or could be weeks. You never know how long these will last. I can't do anything for him other than be strong, and handle myself until he comes back from it. He'll pull through, he just gets so caught up in his own head. But that's one major reason I wanted a job, something else to keep me busy when this shit happens. It's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault, it's just his brain. He'll be ok though, and in the meantime I can take care of myself, it's good for me to occasionally be independent.
21:09 Aug 25 2021
Times Read: 312
05:44 Aug 25 2021
Times Read: 334
Dang it, I really wanted that Moonlight Greatsword replica...
But Wolfie says, if it's actually to scale, he'll come home one day, and find me laying underneath it, having fallen over from trying to swing it around.
It's spooky how well he knows me xD
Except that, as iconic as the MGS is, I'd still probably rather have the Greatsword of Artorias. And I'm pretty sure that sword would be taller than me.
You know what I just realized? Why is Ciaran so small? Artorias and Ornstein and the others, they're not human, right? So it explains why they're a bit bigger than the PC. But Ciaran is human sized. She's just a short, blonde assassiny girl. Is she human? These are the questions that keep me up at night😱
03:17 Aug 25 2021
Times Read: 357
01:36 Aug 25 2021
Times Read: 384
I've suddenly acquired an Xbox One for free, someone gave it to me. I set it up for the kids to play, but I don't really feel the need to mess around with it myself. Except maybe to play through the Fable games again. I owned an original, and 360 once upon a time, and those + Call Of Cthulhu + Fatal Frame 2 are the only memorable games I can think of ever playing on them. I'm not sure what I'll do with all my consoles when it comes time to move. I don't really want to take them with me across a fucking ocean so I'll probably give them to my brother. Wolfie already has plans for the both of us to game on PC. That's always been his preferred thing, and while I haven't PC gamed in 15+ years, I want us to be able to play together. I haven't had time to play much since I finished Death Stranding. They keep switching my schedule up at work, and since they're firing someone after this week I'll probably have to go in even more. I'm fine with that, I enjoy getting out even though I'm extremely high risk for getting covid. The street fair is actually coming up so that's going to be thousands of people in, and out of the shop since it's right on the street. Should be fun though, I love when it's crazy busy.
05:24 Aug 24 2021
Times Read: 419
23:06 Aug 23 2021
Times Read: 454
I ask for pink coffin, they give me ugly fucking skull.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
If it were pink I would've gotten it. Probably.
I don't think my brain is fully comprehending that we may actually be moving to another country soonish. It's not like this is something new, Wolfie has been talking about it for, oh, I dunno, years. Pretty much since we met. He was always going to go back to Europe, he had only come to the US initially to help his mother, and he was going back when he met me, and decided to stay. But I guess I always knew he'd be going back eventually, that this was coming. I didn't always know whether he'd want me to go with him, but he's actually serious about it, paperwork and everything. I thought we'd be going back to the house in the city for awhile first, but nope, he wants us to go back to Europe immediately. I guess we kinda have to once the paperwork is started, you have to stay there for a certain amount of time, part of gaining residency. I think you have to stay there for five years before you can apply for permanent. Five years really isn't that long. Like I said, the waiting takes forever, but once it actually like starts to click it's like everything is happening so fast xD But I'm ready. Sort of, I still have way too much to get rid of, but we're still on the paperwork phase so. According to all the information, I don't need to speak the language or know the history or culture or anything of the country, I just need to submit my criminal history record, which I'm happy to say is 100% clean. Hard to believe, I know xD I probably should work on the language, but Wolfie says most people there know English. I should still try though. Wolfie says he'd like to put some money into my business when we get there to make it better, and that he knows someone who's looking for an artist if I'm interested in that. I don't really consider myself an artist, I'm not really probably technically very good at it, but we'll see. Wolfie says he feels better there, less depressed, that all he needs now is me there with him, and that'd all I need to know to know that going is what's best for us. I told him he needs to figure out how much stuff I'll be able to take with me, but more importantly I'm going to need a doctor there, specifically a kidney related doctor who can prescribe me immunosuppressants. So he's working on that too. I really want to be excited about this, but we still have a lot of work to do, and they may not even approve me although I can't see any reason why not except for all the stupid covid stuff. My boss told me again today that I'm like family now so I'm not allowed to leave. And I feel good about that, but ya know, this was never supposed to be a permanent job. He also started talking to me about how depressed he's been feeling, how some days he'd like to just take off on his wife, and kids, just fucking leave, and be unattached. He did just turn 39 so... midlife crisis maybe? People are always like that with me, they always want to tell me their problems, their demons, I always know people's dark little secrets. I don't know why they tell me, I guess because I listen. I'm the perfect person to talk to depression about though since everything with Wolfie. Wolfie has that aura though, he has a darkened feel that comes off of him. My boss doesn't, he's always happy, and talking nonstop. He owns a fucking candy/ice cream store, how could you not be happy? You just never know with some people.
03:14 Aug 23 2021
Times Read: 481
This is classic me...
So I'm trying to thin out my purse collection. Honestly, I very rarely use a purse at all. And I prefer smaller ones because I'm not one of those people who carries my whole life on my back. I need my phone, my wallet, and like a stick of gum, I'm good to go. But I have quite a few larger handbags that, let's be real, I've never used, they sit in my house, collect dust, take up space. So I've got these two specifically.
These are obviously pretty much the same bag visually. So I tell myself, let's get rid of one of them, we don't need them both. You prefer smaller bags so let's sell the bigger one.
But I like the bigger one because the moons are bigger...
But the smaller one has the hexagram...
But the bigger one is prettier...
But the smaller one is cuter...
It goes on like that for like 30 fucking minutes. Ladies, a decision please.
Then, very clever of me, and completely avoiding having to make any sort of decision, I decide to leave it up to Fate. Put both of for sale, whichever one doesn't sell first is the one we keep. Typical Libra xD Hey, if you expect me to choose between two sides, it's nearly impossible for me, I can't get everything in my head on the same page. That's Wolfie. He knows exactly what he wants, when he wants it, very specifically how he wants it, and if you fuck it up you better run xD And you'd think he would be a big help when I go to him, and ask, gee, Wolfie, which one of these should I get/keep? "Just get both, my precious, just keep it all, we'll figure it out, whatever makes you happy." Not helping my addiction. But I am trying, I actually made amazing sales all weekend long ^^ And I'm trying really hard not to buy anything else because I do really want to clear out as much as possible. I did order some new shoes, and leggings for work which come in tomorrow. If I like the leggings I might get some more, but I can't keep saying I need new shoes for work every time I just want new shoes xD Another couple weeks, tops, but not forever...
07:31 Aug 22 2021
Times Read: 509
07:17 Aug 22 2021
Times Read: 521
Wolfie is so overdramatically poetic sometimes. Makes sense, he loves to write, he's got the old soul of a writer. He'll tell me, "You're everything good in my life, but the light hurts." Like I'm some pure, blazing beacon come down from the heavens to pull him out of the dark. Maybe that's true in it's own way. He was so alone for so long, so hurt and lost. Not physically alone, but... alone in his own head, unable to show who he really is to anyone around him. We're not really as different as he thinks... Somehow we found each other, randomly, in this wide Universe. Maybe pain attracts pain, only the broken can mend each other. I hope we make it to that quiet place where he can write, and I can paint, and we can just exist together.
06:36 Aug 21 2021
Times Read: 566
The nerd in me is just like😍
My best friend recently video called me to tell me about his disastrous 30th birthday. All he wanted to do was play D&D because why would you wanna celebrate turning 30 any other way, fucking nerd xD His birthday is about a week before Wolfie's birthday, and both of these young men, younger than me, complain about how old they feel. Honestly, I don't feel any older now than 10 years ago. And I don't look any older either. It'll be my birthday in about another month. I adore my birthday, right after Autumn begins, always close to the full moon, just before October, it's the perfect time of year. I was born under a full moon. And then I fell in love with a wolf❤
05:49 Aug 21 2021
Times Read: 588
But... You can't honestly expect me to not buy things when we're going into spooky season, right?
All of these adorable designs are coming out, all the ghosts, and chibi reapers, and scary movie stuff.
And once again we got the fuckin nipple rings xD
I absolutely love this design, that it has a built in hood and mask, it's very rogueish. But the rings totally ruin it. I don't get it, it's not attractive, stop doing it. Putting chains, and d-rings, and studs on everything doesn't make it Gothic, and that's one thing I hate about Killstar, and mainstream goth companies in general, a lot of their designs are straight up redundant garbage. They must have saw that I was looking at shoes because immediately after I mentioned wanting to buy the spikey pink pair they suddenly decided to do a sitewide shoe sale xD I wish they were watching, I have great ideas. Starting with, give me a pink casket carry-on, please. I recently gave my Hello Kitty carry-on to one of my nieces so I need another one, but they only make them in black and red. I want pink. You heard me, KS, make it happen💗
05:42 Aug 20 2021
Times Read: 628
So as I'm going through my closet trying to pick a thing or two I'm willing to let go of I come across this velvet crop hoodie. Now, I've never even tried this on, and I've owned it for several months so I thought, hey, that's easy to let go of. Until I tried it on with a few mini skirts, and realized how adorable it looks on me. Yeah, see that happens a lot, that's why this is so difficult xD I did notice though when I put it on... It's got these little d-rings on the chest.
I'll start by saying that I don't understand the oversaturation of d-rings, and studs in Gothic clothing. Spike studs, absolutely love them, but just like round studs, and rings in everything, it's fucking ugly. It's ok if you're 16 years old, and I guess that's the age demographic that most Gothic clothing companies are trying to reach, but it's not for me. Anyway. More importantly. When I put it on I noticed these rings hanging there with no purpose so I wondered to myself, are you supposed to attach a chain to them or what? The funny thing is that because my boobs are a bit big, definitely bigger than the -a cup model they had this on, these rings were a little higher on me, like not quite up to my nipples, but in the general area that as I was looking at myself in this hoodie I realized it kinda made me look like I had nipple rings xD I have absolutely nothing against them, Wolfie and I have even talked about the very real possibility of me having that done. I actually have a really good friend who recently quit piercing because he was so tired of looking at female genitalia xD I dunno if it's because he's pretty cute that women wanna take their clothes off for him or if that's just typical for anyone who does piercings, but anyway, yeah, the rings gotta go. I am going to do a little diy though with some patches I have laying around.
I dunno if I'll actually put Cthulhu on there too, he's just so darn cute I wanna do something with him. Maybe I could get some other Lovecraftian patches, and do a different jacket, a Cutethulu theme :3
Umm, so yeah, clearing things out... I did find a couple things to sell off so if I just keep doing that every night I might reach my goal within a couple years xD Look, if Wolfie told me right now that I had to leave it all behind then I would do it in a heartbeat to go to him. But he tells me not to worry about it, we'll figure it out, we'll get everything there. And I adore that he wants me to have everything, he wants to make me happiest, but it's good for me to let things go. I am by no means a hoarder, but I don't need all of these clothes, it's ok for me to push myself to get rid of things. A fresh start really REALLY wouldn't be so bad for us.
19:27 Aug 19 2021
Times Read: 644
01:54 Aug 19 2021
Times Read: 682
I'm totally a sucker for pink and spikey💗
And I'm totally justifying getting them by saying they're for work xD
I did get paid today so... I deserve something nice :3
Even though I'm supposed to be clearing things out as much as possible, and getting ready to move eventually... Like, that's the thing, we don't know when Wolfie will be cleared to come get me. He was supposed to meet with his lawyer today to possibly get the paperwork, but that meeting got moved to tomorrow. I have a feeling that when it happens, it's gonna happen fast, and be all chaos. Because that's usually how it happens when you're waiting for something, it feels like the waiting takes forever then suddenly everything is happening at once. And I have been trying to clear stuff out the last couple months, but... We may just have to take 50 pounds of shoes over with us xD Like if Wolfie called me right now, and told to pack two 50lbs suitcases to take with me... I'd explode and die because my wardrobe is important to me. He likes having nice things, and a closet full of expensive shoes, and clothes, but if he had to drop it all, and leave it, he'd have no issue with that. I'm more attached to my clothing, my style. Then again, selling everything means getting a whole new European wardrobe... And I probably do need to mature my style a bit. I dunno, I'm trying, but we'll see. I never expect these things to happen, and then when they do I totally panic to get everything done last minute xD
21:08 Aug 17 2021
Times Read: 711
04:31 Aug 17 2021
Times Read: 749
Yep, Imma rant about dumbasses who shouldn't have access to money again because they sure like pissing me off :3
I have a dress listed for $68, someone sends me an offer for $50. Now $18 is quite a lot to ask off of one item, kinda ridiculous honestly, so I politely counter her with $58, $10 off, extremely generous on a dress that's completely sold out, and retailed for $65. And she comes back with an offer of $49.99... I just don't understand the kind of stupidity it takes for people to backwards negotiate. Hey, you didn't want $50? Let me tempt you with even less xD So that was an automatic decline. She comes back with $52, declined, because at this point I know she's wasting my fucking time. Finally she offers me $57, and normally I'd take that since it was only $1 less than my lowest offer, but this bitch brought out the petty in me... So I countered her an extremely generous $67.99, good day, sir. Shockingly she didn't accept my outstanding deal. For real, what a dumbass. I hate losing a sale, but fuck those people. I keep reading on Reddit how people hate blocking buyers, they don't wanna be rude, whiiiine... Yeah, no, I will block you for even slightly annoying me. I will answer questions, take measurements, hold items, bundle, whatever you need, with a smile on my face. But if you are rude, entitled, condescending in my shop, you won't be buying anything from me. If you make a bundle of items, ask me to hold them for days just for you then come either not wanting one or all, that's just instablock. I'm not desperate to sell, I don't really need the money, I guess that's what separates me from most sellers. A lot of people do this 24/7 as their only job so they have to kiss ass to annoying weirdos to make ends meet, they need the business. I'm great when it comes to customer service, people who buy things from me always love me, and that's because the annoying ones get blocked. I can see an entitled bitch coming a mile away, a whole world of problems that usually starts with the phrase, "Do you think this would fit me?" ...Lady, I don't fucking know you xD And then it ends with, "I know this was listed as an XL, and she sent me an XL, but it's not XL enough so I need a refund."
Not even joking😐
It makes as much sense as this child who walked in earlier, bought an ice cream cone, and complained that it was TOO BIG, I gave her TOO MUCH ICE CREAM. That's... not even possible. And quite honestly if my boss hadn't been standing there I might have hurled sprinkles at her, and banished her from my candy kingdom xD Speaking of my boss, he has dubbed me the energizer bunny because I'm always full of energy, and doing everything, cleaning, serving, restocking, and in a good mood hopping around the shop. And my hair is always in cute lil pigtails like bunny ears :3 I told him that's funny because my Wolfie calls me Bunny, and he's just like, "Uhh, what the heck is a wolfie?" xD I guess Wolfie isn't the only one who thinks I'm bunnylike, but then I'm also really not because I'm not really shy or timid or scared easily. I guess that's why Wolfie calls me kitten too because I'm feisty, super playful, and very vocal about my demands xD Give me attention right meow or I start knocking all your precious things off the counter❤
04:49 Aug 15 2021
Times Read: 788
I decided on the Luna High Tops, and three pairs of leggings for now.
Like I said, I'm going to need something other than shorts for work when it starts to get colder. I'd love to say that it doesn't matter because Wolfie will be back before then, but... It's best to hope for the best, but prepare for the alternative with him. I don't know how long it's going to take him to get things figured out for moving us to Europe, but I'm not rushing him. As much as I'd love for him to be back, I want him to get his shit together so we don't have to be separated again when he gets back. I'm fine with where things are at for now, I'm not unhappy, we're stable, and that's really most important. Tomorrow is my first day off in a week. I know, poor baby, being a responsible adult xD But covering for someone else sucks, I'm glad my hours go back to normal next week. I love my job, but I have a lot going on, I didn't sign up for a full time responsibility. To be fair, my job isn't super demanding, it does get really busy in the evening, but usually I spend a lot of time on my phone with absolutely nothing else to do. So I can kinda manage my business while I'm at work if I need to, and I still get to spend most time with Wolfie :3
19:28 Aug 13 2021
Times Read: 834
And heeeeere is Duplexity ^^
Half an' half, so perfectly me💜
But let's talk about how in love I am with this dress...
It's so simple, but so beautiful. And add the matching bodysuit...
It's hitting every soft, feminine, moonlit, romantic note in me.
Another very simple solid lace dress.
I like to buy things like this to wear over lingerie or sometimes nothing. Wolfie loves obscure nudity. Not fully naked, but not really covered either. Lace, fishnet, mesh, that sort of in between. He's majorly into the seduction aspect of things, drawing everything out to the absolute edge. There is no rushing with him when it comes to domination, every look, every move, it's like a chess match, a game. It's beautiful❤
And last is this dress.
I'm a sucker for pinstripes. Before they released all the pastels, and all the tartan, they threw out a bunch of pinstriped stuff so naturally I need all of it as well xD I liked this design best, I mean, it does have that lovely ring that would be perfect for a leash, and Wolfie is always saying I deserve to constantly be leashed xD I told him as long as he chains me up next to my ps4 then I'm perfectly fine with that. And he just looks at me, and says, "Bunny... Only we could have a perfectly normal conversation about keeping you chained up in the house next to your games." And that's why you love me, silly wolf :3
So now I'd like to buy some new shoes, and leggings for work. It's a well-known fact that I don't own jeans, don't wear pants at all, the closest I get is with shorts, but as it gets closer to the colder months it just looks kinda silly wearing shorts so I'm going to grab a pair if leggings here, and there just in case I need them. Plus, I just got a 30% off code from KS so it's the perfect time for another haul xD
03:15 Aug 12 2021
Times Read: 865
Wolfie was in a bad mood yesterday. Unfortunately, that's completely normal for his birthday. He doesn't like being reminded of it, like he doesn't like being reminded he was forced into existence here. And boy, as his girlfriend, that sure makes you feel good... I know it's not personal, it's not me, it's not his fault, it's 100% the depression. But it still stings a bit when he talks about how he wish he could just disappear or die or whatever. He tells me I'm the only thing that keeps him going, and that's partially why it scares the crap outta me when he gets in one of those moods, and tries to get rid of me. But again, if I'm something so major holding you here, why the Hell are you always taking yourself so far away from me? Then telling me how alone, and empty you are. I mean, I know why, I get it, but seriously... You think if you let your guard down, and allow yourself to truly be happy for once in your life that you might not survive if that happiness is ripped away from you. But who says it will be? Eventually you just have to take the chance. Or not, and keep barely clinging to the misery you know, the safety of your own suffering because while it might not be pleasant it has helped you survive this long. If you never know any better, if you don't know what you're missing, you can't be worse without it. I understand it even if I don't agree with it. I know what it's like to be scared, and scarred, and to feel like one gentle breeze could knock out what little will to survive is left in you. But still, I prefer to be brave enough to try, to hope, to believe in people. Even if one after another they've monumentally let me down, there has to be one. All I need is just one.
Like I said, my boss's birthday was also yesterday which just feels cosmic. Like... what are the odds? He had this huge birthday cake sitting there, taunting me all day, begging me to eat some. I made it to the last 30 minutes of my shift... and ate a huge piece. Which turned my teeth blue xD
00:30 Aug 12 2021
Times Read: 887
My Duplexity plushie hasn't made it in yet, but my new shoes are adorable
Killstar just released all of these gorgeous new dark tartan designs, and I want them all, especially the shoes.
Here's the matching skirt, and Doomed top.
They have several different styles for both of these designs, but I really wanted the long sleeve/cold-shoulder for upcoming colder seasons. I intend to have them all though in every color, and since they also just released a ton of pastel shit I'm pretty sure my next paycheck is going straight to them xD
And here is my favorite of their wolfie designs.
I love KS shirts, they're so big an comfy an perfect for sleeping in ^^ And I really love the skull faced wolf best because... Wolfie's favorite class is necromancer so it suits him :3
Annnd it wouldn't be a haul without a new dress.
I've been wanting this one for awhile, and it goes perfectly with this top.
I haven't had time to try anything on yet, I've been working all week, but my next paycheck is going to be pretty great. It's pretty boring working day shift, but I basically get paid for playing on my phone in the air conditioning most of the day so it could definitely be worse xD
15:38 Aug 10 2021
Times Read: 925
05:46 Aug 10 2021
Times Read: 957
So crazy enough, August 10th is not only Wolfie's birthday, but it's also my boss's birthday xD I only know that because he kept trying to get me to try his coconut macarons that a friend made for him as a present. And I fuckin love coconut. Maybe that's why we get along so well, I get along great with Leos, Libras in general get along really well with Leos. My mother is a Libra, my dad is a Leo. His birthday was a couple days ago, my brother-in-law's birthday was yesterday, one of my niece's birthday was the 4th, and one of my nephew's was the 31st. There's a lot of Leo energy in this family, a lot of people trying to be in charge. That's what's great about being a Libra, we generally don't want control at all because it takes us forever to decide between things, and eventually we give up, and just go shopping instead xD
Wolfie's been a bit down for a couple days. He usually is around his birthday. I showed him bunny work, and he said everything was so cute, and colorful, and perfect for me :3 I just kinda feel like sometimes... He does all this stuff that takes him far away from me, and none of it seems to really be making him any happier. If he's really trying to set us up for the future, I get that, I appreciate it, but sometimes I just wish he'd let things be simple. He always says no one wants to be around him, but I'm always right in front of him, and I'm happy to take up all of his attention. It's like he needs more, and more, and more, but what does he really want? He tells me, "I just want to take Bunny to a beautiful, green, peaceful place where we can be safe and happy." Then why are you on the other side of the planet right now? Why are you always taking yourself so far away from me? I don't doubt the sincerity of his desires or his love for me. And I know he's got a few more issues in his head than most people. I know he's afraid. He works so hard on setting up the future that it's like he forgets about the present. I live for now. I don't know where I'll be in a week, a few months. I always feel like I'm not going to make it another year, but I keep going. I don't know where the Hell I'm going, but I'm getting there❤
00:10 Aug 10 2021
Times Read: 981
Fuck yeah, lil ninja water bottle ^^
My boss gave him to me. They got this big shipment of stuff for the candy counter, and they sell little things like these, but he let me take one for free since they were so adorable. I'm working every day this week. It was supposed to only be Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, but the lady who trained me decided to call in sick for Tuesday/Thursday so they offered her shifts to me. I didn't have to take them, but it's not like I have anything better to do, and it's the same 4 hour shifts so it's easy money. Plus I get free food while I'm there so that's another perk of going to work xD It was actually pretty busy today for a Monday. My boss thinks I'm crazy for loving it when it's busy, but more customers means more tips means more money for bitchin stuff... KS just released that choker, annnnnd a perfect backpack to match.
Although, a year ago I predicted they'd release a pastel pink carry on coffin... But this is good too :3
17:34 Aug 09 2021
Times Read: 1,005
Honestly... It should be spikes, not studs.
It's cute. But it'd be much cuter if it were sharp💗
04:02 Aug 09 2021
Times Read: 1,036
Aesthetically, P5 Joker has always reminded me of Wolfie.
Well, if he had brilliant green eyes it would be pretty spot on :3
I saw it said that Kasumi is his canon girlfriend? But I never played Royale so I dunno who the fuck that bitch is. Even if I did, Ann is still 100% waifu.
Now I really wanna play it again.
Or maybe Danganronpa... Now that's a good question. Junko or Ann? I dunno, I feel like if you mashed them up into one they'd be pretty perfect❤
But if I had to choose one... probably Junko xD
07:21 Aug 08 2021
Times Read: 1,075
The people I work for/with finally decided they needed to ask about my personal life xD They constantly talk about themselves so they were curious why I'm not more open. That's just how I am though around people, I prefer to stand back, listen, absorb everything about everyone else. Knowledge is power. I like to know things. Besides. I'm just a simple girl trying to live a normal life. That's all anyone really needs to know. Of course, they all wanted to know if I had a boyfriend so I told them about Wolfie, about how we met, and what's happened, and what he's doing now. And I never realized how crazy our story is before xD It's just... us. It's normal for me. Then they wanna see pictures of us together, and oh, we're so cute, and it's just like another family almost. The older woman who has been training me told me to tell Wolfie that I'm not allowed to leave though because they already love me there, they said they've gone through several employees before me who just didn't quite mesh with everyone or work as hard as I do. That's one thing about me, if I have a task, a job, I will do it 100% the best I absolutely can. I'm more than willing to work hard when necessary, I enjoy it. Maybe that's the sub in me, liking to please people, but I don't do things half-assed. I don't expect Wolfie to be back for awhile so I'm not really worried about it right now though I will feel bad when the time comes, but I kinda don't wanna work there forever. I love it, but it's pretty much a job any teenager can handle, it's not challenging at all which is why it blows me away that they haven't been able to find anyone before me. Then again... I'm pretty sure most of their other employees are/have been teenagers so ya know, not so blown away by them doing slow, crappy work. It's literally just scooping ice cream, and making milkshakes, that's like 95% of the job so it's nice when they all praise me, but it's also like... well, yeah, I'm not stupid xD They're super nice people though so I appreciate that they try so hard to make me feel good about myself. It's crazy how sore I am though from last night. We were ridiculously busy, but I feel like I got a full body workout, I'm ready for a day off.
07:49 Aug 07 2021
Times Read: 1,118
Work was fucking slammed. But my boss said he's already going to give me a raise. And the other two ladies who were working kept talking about how awesome I am, and how they would've never kept up if I wasn't there. They're always talking about how awesome I am ^^ Although Wolfie almost made me late, I barely had time to get my clothes back on xD I guess that's the one thing I dislike, I can't be available to him 24/7 anymore, but he's super proud of me, and he's glad to see me being a little more of an independent kitten. The kids aren't easing up though, as soon as I get off at 9 they all wanna come over to spend the night. They've already decided they're coming over tomorrow night too, and that I'll be providing them with pizza. Little moochers. They like to come into my work too just to harass me, but the owner is cool with it. I feel pretty satisfied with life right now. Things aren't necessarily perfect, but they're the best they can be in this situation. I'm doing my best❤
Wolfie said he's surprised I don't wear my mini skirts to work. That would certainly drum up business :3 But I have to bend over a lot to get ice cream outta the freezer so I wear shorts instead. Now I'm wondering how many customers look at my huge butt when I'm doing it. I guess that's fine as long as you tip xD
05:28 Aug 06 2021
Times Read: 1,153
My mom, and I usually go out once a week for dinner, usually Thai food. She probes me about Wolfie, and I'm generally completely honest with her. I told her about the situation, and of course, being the optimist like I am, she told me it's really good that he's doing what he can to get his shit together, and including me in his planning. We've both seen enough 90 Day Fiance to know how long it can take to move someone to another country, and at least those people have getting married to help them. That's not really going to work for us. Wolfie said it would probably help a bit, but I don't want that to be the reason we get married, ya know? My mom really likes Wolfie, he's probably the only guy my parents have liked, they told me they could tell all my exes were full of shit, but he seems genuine to them, so far as they've seen anyway. I would agree that he's a genuine person, but I also know he's very hurt inside, and a bit scared. His depression often makes him feel like he doesn't deserve, and is incapable of being loved. And when it's really bad he lashes out, says the worst things imaginable. It's like he's two different people sometimes. He's the sweetest, kindest, most awkwardly romantic man ever, but when that depression hits, it hits hard, and it's difficult for most people to see past it. My mom gets it, having also struggled with severe childhood trauma, and depression all her life. My father is always telling me I'm not strong enough for this. He's wrong. When my father looks at me all he sees is failure, he's never shy to admit that. Because I was supposed to be the best of all my siblings, I was the chosen one xD And maybe, looking at my life, he's not wrong for how he feels. But I am far from weak. I can handle anything❤
20:40 Aug 05 2021
Times Read: 1,182
So... I did end putting in another order. Because as I was browsing around, and considering it they released this.
You know I had to have this. Two halves in one. I don't actually own any other Kreeptures, most of the designs just don't do it for me, they look pretty half-assed. The only one I would possibly be interested in acquiring is Cerberus, but... people want like $600 for it, and I don't even like paying $30 for a plushie, that $600 can go fuck itself hard xD But that's what people do, they buy these for like $30-50 then resell them for $250+ because only a limited amount are made. This one I think they made 3,000 so not quite as rare, but it'll definitely be sold out quickly, and put on resell by scalpers so I got mine, and let's be honest, it's perfect for me :3
19:43 Aug 05 2021
Times Read: 1,203
Woke up to a beautiful KS sale❤
I did end up going with the gray first because the red is still on pre-order. Basically their latest drop is like... I want everything xD
I will probably end up making another order because I really want these two as well.
They also have them in black, and emerald, but the white is really calling to me❤
05:21 Aug 05 2021
Times Read: 1,230
I got my official hours. Monday/Wednesday 12-4, Friday/Saturday 5-9. Honestly, I prefer the evening shift because day shift is pretty empty. Most people probably like getting paid to mostly stand around, but I like doing things, it makes the time pass. They told me I can have any weekend off, or that I could have more hours because I'm already their best worker, but I think it's good for now. I'm still running my own business so that's almost another part-time job in itself. And my business makes a lot more money, like 3-5x more than my actual job xD But like I said, it's not about the money, I like the experience, and honestly I'm not a super social person so it's nice to be out among regular people for a bit each week. I also prefer evening shift because I've mentioned I have a hard time sleeping at night, and while falling asleep at like 3am is still technically not a problem for me getting up at 10/11, it's still nice to have the whole day to do whatever before work, and it also means most stuff is already prepped, and stocked for me when I get there. It's just what I need right now, a nice, normal, quiet, peaceful job with stability. I told Wolfie I like my job so much maybe I can get a job at an ice cream place in Europe xD Not shockingly, he knows someone who owns one right close to the apartment he's working on for us. He's waiting on my paperwork right now because it's easy for him to stay in another country, but moving me there is more difficult. I asked him straight up if it was even possible, and he said yes, but it's going to take some work, and he wanted to get it started as soon as possible which is why he's still not back. Oh yes, believe me, we had a good chat about him being there instead of here right now. I'm trusting in him, ok, I'm fully trusting that he's doing the best for our future, I'm having faith. Because I never have a plan, my life us just constantly winging it so I'm allowing him to get his shit together. He did say it would be easier if he had a passport there because then we could just get married, and I could go with him like that, but that would mean giving up either his Russian or American passport, and that's a hard ask, your birth country or the US which he may wanna move back to someday. And that's only one thing to getting the passport, but it's probably the hardest because of the choice he'd have to make. It's a lot. I asked him what the plan is, and he told me, "I'm gonna get your paperwork, then come get you, and we'll figure it out from there." Which is so weird because he is usually ten steps ahead, and this was kind of a last minute decision. I mean, he's always told me his plan was to move back to Europe, that the only reason he stayed in the US this long was because of me, but he said 4-5 years, and now he's rushing, I guess because he got offered a really good job there, but he really seems genuinely happy there, and getting him away from his mother is another huge plus so I don't mind it. I just don't know when he'll be back. It could be a few weeks, it could be next Summer if they close everything down again, and that's going to really, really suck. He has to get the paperwork from his lawyer, his lawyer gets it from the government, and the government there is being slow as fuck like most bureaucratic bullshit especially when it comes to letting people move into your country. It's just waiting right now, and that's partially why I got my job so it would help pass the time, but a little extra money never hurts, I can always use new shoes or dresses or❤
03:31 Aug 04 2021
Times Read: 1,259
Wolfie had to audacity to say to me, "Bunny, I appreciate beautiful people the way you appreciate Dark Souls."
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Now. I'm not offended at him telling me he "appreciates beautiful whatever" right? I mean, it's common knowledge that I'm pretty possessive. But I'm also very reasonable. I'm not gonna rip your face off for bumping into him or looking at him or speaking to him. He's always telling me that women really aren't interested in him... I beg to fuckin differ. He's the guy every woman looks at when he walks into a room. And he'll tell me, "Yes, my flower, but they're not drawn to me physically, it's merely my dominant intelligent presence they like." Uh huh... He never acknowledges his own physical attraction, it's like me saying, yep, when I walk into a room guys are immediately drawn to my huge... brain. And what he rarely admits to is that he is just as possessive as I am, he's just not as obvious, and psycho about it, but he totally is, and it's adorable. He's still clinging to his illusion of civility and charm. I just don't give a fuck what people think. Unless I'm at work because I enjoy $10+ tips from guys who will drop their wallets on any cute girl who flashes them a smile xD He was explaining the differences in our anger recently, "When you're angry you're like a snake, you strike fast and hard. When I'm angry I prefer to stalk my prey, figure out exactly what will hurt them the most then do that." He's not wrong xD But yeah, him admiring another woman for being beautiful? I'm unphased by that, I know that I'm most beautiful in his eyes, and I'm probably admiring too because that's how beauty works, you want to look at it. To demand your mate literally only ever look at you is insane, that's not how humans work. Of course, with us, it ends at looking because if there's any touching, that's where the face ripping starts.
No. I am entirely offended that he could possibly think that anyone in this Universe or any other could possibly appreciate anything the way I appreciate Dark Souls
It is ludacris. It is blasphemy. It is wrong. Take it back😐
19:19 Aug 03 2021
Times Read: 1,290
New Harley Quinn dress ^^
Although I also feel like this would almost be perfect for a Lydia Deetz wedding dress thing.
Also. I really love this shirt. The pink blood reminds me of Danganronpa xD
03:31 Aug 03 2021
Times Read: 1,320
Wolfie made me realize something interesting. He's always told me I'm a natural submissive, that I picked it up instantly, and being a sub is second nature to me, it's just something that has always been in me. And I always tell him that when he's away for a week or so, having a major depression breakdown or just genuinely too busy to give me the attention I need, I get a bit unstable. Obviously, one reason for this is because I have some abandonment/trust issues that I need to work through, and I love him an extreme amount, he's my best friend, my person, my absolute heart so I enjoy having him around in any aspect, it makes me happy. But he told me it also sounds like it majorly affects me on a sub level when he fails to interact with me. As a sub, it's usually the case that what brings you the most comfort, safety, happiness, and stability is your Dom. I never realized it before, but when he dominates me, even just through video while he's away, it brings me not only immense physical satisfaction, but an entire feeling of inner peace. It's incredibly relaxing which is probably weird since it can get pretty intense, but it completely relaxes me and him. And it's not an every time thing, we sometimes have ten hour conversations with absolutely nothing sexual involved, just enjoying each other's company, we can be in a room together without ripping each other's clothes off, it's just... fun to. I feel like we really have the best of both. But that's why it's so hard for me when he's not around. Why I start to feel so panicky and abandoned, and drive myself crazy. I know Wolfie would never actually abandon me, I completely know that, and I feel so guilty after for feeling that way, for actually believing that for one second he could just walk away. It's not my fault, and it's not his, it's just scars. He's always talking about how fucked up he us, but I'm not that shiney either... My stuff just doesn't affect anyone else, it's all in my own head. I'm as open as possible with him when I start to feel neglected, and he always immediately fixes the issue by giving me a lot more of his time. But that's another reason why having a job is great, it's a nice distraction, and it's me doing something for me, because I want to. I love our relationship, but I know I tend to become a little too dependent on him so I'm doing my best to have a little independence of my own. Being a sub doesn't mean relying on your Dom 100% for everything, all day long. Wolfie always encourages me to have things that are just mine, and be myself the way I want me to be. He always tells me he doesn't want to dominate, and micromanage me every second of the day, he wants me to express myself, and shape myself into what I want to be, not what he can make me. He tells me that he loves me crazy, and chaotic, it's good for him since he's super controlled and organized. I'm not sure how two complete opposites came so perfectly together, but we are exactly what each other needs❤
00:28 Aug 03 2021
Times Read: 1,344
Red or black or gray?
The correct answer is: all.
But red first, of course❤
06:46 Aug 02 2021
Times Read: 1,388
This demonstrates my commitment to Wolfie...
He video called me at like 6 in the evening. A few minutes later my parents walk in with 3 kids, two pizzas, a big box of doughnuts and ice cream. Within the three hours we were on video chat every single other person came into the room I was in to make sure I was alright because I hadn't come out for food the entire time xD Yes, I'm a giant fatass, I love pizza and doughnuts, when it comes into anyone's house I am immediately on top of it, but when I'm talking to Wolfie it is 100% focus on him, you no longer exist to me, go away xD Although it's kinda weird, I have a massive sweet tooth, but at work surrounded by ice cream/candy/cookies/brownies/sugar overload, I don't have any cravings for any of it. The owners always offer me free stuff to eat, but I eat a big salad before work, and I'm good, I don't want any of it. Wolfie, and I actually made a no sweets pact a few months ago which is kinda ridiculous because he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him, but we swore off sugar, and it lasted like... a day xD I typically don't eat sugar daily, I eat lots of veggies mostly, but he can sit down, and scarf five boxes of snack cakes or entire loaves of bread with entire jars of peanut butter, and he still looks exactly the same as the day we met, it's like the calories fizzle out into the air around him, it's not fair. Although he did tell me he started running again so I'm excited to go running with him since we're both extremely competitive, and the loser always has to do something... Yeah. Anyway. I am really loving this job though, I get to make pretty things for people, and make them happy :3 Next step, convince my boss to let me wear my roller skates to work xD Hey, it'd be a lot faster, just sayin❤