Honor: 114 [ Give / Take ]
38 entries this month
21:03 Dec 29 2022
Times Read: 95
2023 is the year of the Rabbit🐇
Now... technically I'm a Dragon. And Dragon is the best, I mean, it's a fucking Dragon. 2024 is year of the Dragon.
I feel like this is a good sign :3
The year of Bunny💗
07:35 Dec 29 2022
Times Read: 132
06:50 Dec 29 2022
Times Read: 163
I caught him catnapping on my lingerie xD
He looked at me like, "This is soft, this is pretty, this is mine now, you may leave."
Good thing Wolfie loves cats...
He and Kitty get along really well actually. Wolfie speaks to him in Russian and German, and I swear Kitty can understand him...
21:45 Dec 28 2022
Times Read: 223
I don't think I can eyeroll any harder than when some pathetic man-bitch contacts me to talk shit about another female on here...
"She's on here 24/7, she has 20+ profiles, she thinks she runs this site."
Honey... the real issue here is why are you watching her obsessively like a fuckin creep? Cause you'd have to be to know that.
Who cares if all of that is true? Do you really have nothing better to do with your pathetic ass? You know what's worse than someone who has no life? The person stalking said person enough to fucking know that.
Now I can only guess based on your behavior that she's got your tits in a twist for rejecting you. So now you're like that kid on the playground, scrambling around trying to find anyone else to join your little hate club while you're actually in love with her. That's some weakass shit. If you've got something to say then fucking say it, and roll fucking on. Maybe logoff, take a shower, go for a walk, and never fucking look in my direction again. I'm not sure what gave you the random impression that I'd give a single fuck about whoever the fuck you are, and whatever the fuck your problem is. Hope now we're square, honeybear.
Obsession ain't healthy, sweetie, I would know❤️
06:41 Dec 28 2022
Times Read: 249
Something is terribly wrong here...
I'm almost up to level 45 now. In other Fallout games I generally feel unstoppable around level 50. That is not nearly the case with 76. I'm still being utterly destroyed by radscorpions, I can't fathom taking on a Deathclaw. I ran into something called a Scorchbeast... Which is basically a big, radioactive, angry man-bat. I think I shot off about 2 of it's hp before it killed me. I do love all the new wildlife in 76 though, it's nice to see a much bigger variety beyond radscorps and DCs. The whole game feels massive, it didn't look like much when I started, but you can easily get to level 50 just in the basic starting area, and there's so much more out there. The difficulty has gone up quite a bit so I can see why some people are leveled to the 1000s. I'm working on finding stealth armor. About 99% of people I come across do the whole power armor, minu gun build. I get it, that's the standard Fallout experience for most people. But it's kinda like playing the warrior in an RPG, it's easy mode. I always prefer the stealth route. Stealth armor, sniper rifle, big shotgun just in case something gets too close. But when your sneak is maxed, things can walk right into you, and not see you xD I was walking around wondering why the weight on my character was so high, and I suddenly realized that I had like 60+ stims on me. You don't need to heal when everything dies without ever seeing you. Fast, quiet, efficient. But I can also see the appeal of barging through, and blowing everything up. I'm kinda curious what build Wolfie would be into. He's generally a caster in RPGs, that's not really a thing in Fallout. Explosives maybe. Or energy weapons. I always tell myself I'm going to try energy weapons because I do high Intelligence which you need for energy weapons, but... I can never get into them. Wolfie is like me, he's very picky about the games he likes, but Fallout is great, I've loved it from the day I first played it so I hope I can get him into it too. He said he found the perfect gaming PC for me. I told him I want it pink with bunny logos💗
09:11 Dec 27 2022
Times Read: 281
07:26 Dec 27 2022
Times Read: 304
I'm feeling an after Christmas shopping spree🖤❤️
Christmas was pretty awesome this year. I got to spend most of the day with Wolfie. He said he was happy, and that was the most important thing to me. Someday, I want him to have more good memories than bad. You can't completely override the past, but you can make a better future.
I hope next year will be the year❤️
00:37 Dec 25 2022
Times Read: 351
The interesting thing is that I was never really "yandere" with a guy before Wolfie. But that's how it works, right? You're only psychotic for the right one💗
All I wanted for Christmas was to spend time with Wolfie...
And I got it :3
Although... I need to stop staying up til like 6am cause I'm so tired when he calls.
We got to talking about when we first met. He wasn't really emotionally invested in me when we first met, he obviously was extremely closed off, and he told me a big part of that was he thought I was messing with him...
"When we met you were this gorgeous, bubbly, intelligent, interesting, funny, slightly crazy woman. I didn't trust that you were genuinely interested in me for me."
I guess I can see his point. Imagine meeting a small pigtailed blonde who's almost immediately attached to you. But if you know me, you know that's just how I am. If I like you, I am in no way subtle, I don't go in half way, you get my full force affection immediately. If you know me, you know I'd never lead someone on like that. I know better than anyone how it feels to have someone waste an entirely too large portion of your life. I couldn't do that. But maybe, especially if you have the kinda history with women he's had, that can seem unreal. Even so, he kept with me. He tried walking away a few times, back when he was much more emotionally volatile, but he always came back. Not because I begged him or chased him or tried to force him, he always came back on his own. I think he knew, somewhere in his heart, that he could trust me or maybe something cosmic kept pulling him back towards me. Either way, I'm glad we are where we are💗
04:56 Dec 24 2022
Times Read: 402
My latest Killstar haul is shoes + makeup.
Psychic Poem Lipstick
Witchcraft Illuminating Powder
All this for $25. The shoes are cute, probably a little big on me. I tried KS Coven makeup on their last release, and honestly thought it was pretty decent quality. Last time they did a full release of liquid Lipstick, this time they did tubed Lipstick, and a couple highlighters. I've said it before, I think they'd make a lot of money off of an eyeshadow palette especially if it were like limited edition, very limited quantities. There are people who pay crazy money for that shit. Me personally, I don't collect makeup, I try to get stuff mainly that I know I'll use. Collecting things in general is weird to me... like if it's just going to sit on a shelf, why? It feels empty to have a ton of stuff you'll never use just sitting on display. I could never be a hoarder. I'm not necessarily the most organized person, but I don't like being surrounded by useless junk.
Wolfie had a mini meltdown. He was about ready to call it quits on his Slovenian paperwork, it's been dragging on for a couple months now getting it renewed, and he's had enough. He called me to tell me they'd called him, and they explained that they thought his US passport might be fake. And it's like... you guys already approved him a year ago, why do you need to go over all this information again? Nothing has changed. You already know it isn't fake. But I guess his dual citizenship is what caused the issue so he was majorly stressing about that. But then he got a call back around 10pm, and the guy told him it was just some sorta clerical misunderstanding, and it should all be good to go soon. I told him, you better thank that man, calling 10pm on a Friday the day before Christmas Eve, send him a fucking muffin basket xD Cause otherwise I was going to have to deal with that all weekend. When something is upsetting Wolfie... he does not let it go. And Slovenia is his backup plan if shit goes downhill in Russia so it's really important to him to get everything there squared away before he leaves. I get it. I've told him if it's really that bad we can come back to the US. He's mostly concerned that eventually Russia might ask of us to give up our US passports... And he's ready to do that because the only thing he has left here is me so if we're there together it's no big deal for him, he has no reason to come back here. But I have my whole family here, and Wolfie just doesn't want me to be in the position to have to choose. Hopefully it never comes to that, but with things in the world looking so grim... He was immediately relieved though after the call, it was a fuckin Christmas miracle. Well ok, a better miracle would have been a call telling him he can leave, but close enough. I knew he probably wouldn't make it back before the end of the year, I expected it. He'll say to me, "Bun, I've made big mistakes, I've messed everything up." And I tell him it's never too late to turn things around. If he feels like he was doing what was best for us then it'll be worth it eventually. I don't want him to give up on this, he's spent too much time on all this to just quit. The government there is fucking slow, wow, who could've seen that coming.
And now I'm sick again anyway with a pretty bad infection. Not bad enough that I can't be up, and on my game... Wolfie has been talking about games we should play together after we get our gaming PCs up and running. He's really excited to show me Guild Wars 2. A game I really don't know anything about... I told him I'd like it if he'd play Fallout with me. He says it's not that he doesn't like Fallout, he just hasn't played it much. So I think I can get him into it. We both prefer fantasy style rpgs, but Fallout is really fun too. I randomly came across some guy who was level 566... I just froze, staring at him, and he waved at me xD First official human acknowledgement from another player, 99% of people run right by. I can't imagine grinding out that many levels especially since it soft caps at 50 where after 50 you don't get any more perks. I saw my first Desthclaw, and then quickly ran away from my first Deathclaw🖤
Wolfie is doing great otherwise. I'm proud of him. Usually during the holidays he's pretty depressed, but the last couple years he's really stabilized. The further away he gets from his mother, the better he gets, and I'm trying to keep it that way. Last time he heard from her was right before Halloween which is kinda surprising she hasn't contacted him since. It's good though. Maybe some part of her realizes he's better off without her. What Wolfie really wants, and what would probably help him most, is if they could reconcile, and have a healthy relationship. I just don't see that happening. How do you forgive am abuser? Especially when it's your own mother. I realized not too long ago that she was doing it when we met up until he literally left the country. That's why he kept me away as much as he could so I didn't see it. I always knew she was horrible to him, but I didn't know the extent, not until he left the country. If I did known... I never would've left him there alone. People think that abuse stops once you stop being a child, that's not always the case. And once he gets back I'm never leaving him alone again. I have a feeling his mother may show up in Russia... Wolfie swears she hates it there, but I dunno, I just get the feeling she'd follow him. I don't think she quite understands who she's messing with. I've been extremely tolerant of her because he's asked me to be. That only goes so far. I'm glad that Wolfie finally distanced us from her, I'm proud of him for that because it's not easy to get away from abusive people. Sometimes we don't see what they're doing, sometimes we refuse to see it, and sometimes we see it, but we ignore it. We ignore our own feelings for the sake of someone we care about even though their behavior demonstrates how little they care for us. You want to see the good in people you love even when they're monsters. But some people are just exactly that with nothing more to them. Those are the hardest to get away from. It's been... a lot of growing for the both us, individually and together.
I really am thoroughly enjoying 76 though. There's so much to see and explore, and you really don't have to interact with anyone. I'm kinda sad it took me so long to play it, but I'm glad it's worth playing. I'm up to level 23 now, trying to get my sneak perk up, and then once I find a good 50 cal, everybody dies :3
21:34 Dec 21 2022
Times Read: 428
Creme Shop x Hello Kitty💗
And yes, my sweater xD
I will say, about this sweater... I paid $12 total for it. Originally, it was around $60. This sweater is definitely not worth $60. I'd say it's worth $25-35 max which is probably why it's been on sale at least 50%+ off. Hot Topic quality has never been great, but $60 for this is insane, and I can only guess it's strictly because of the Skelanimals design.
I'm so tired... Like I said, I was up all night on Fallout. I fell asleep around 5am, Wolfie starts texting me around 5:52am xD And I'll never ignore him. While he was at lunch with his aunt's former husband, I fell back asleep til he called me around 10. I probably quietly fell asleep three or four times while we were talking, Wolfie tends to talk a lot, and his voice is very comforting, it makes me feel so warm and safe so I kept dozing off til he decided to go to bed a few hours later. By then it's 3pm so I'm just like... well, I may as well get up xD But time with Wolfie is worth losing sleep over💗
09:39 Dec 21 2022
Times Read: 457
I played so long into the night my cat went to bed without me xD
One minute, he's snuggled up against me around midnight then the next it's past 3am, and I find him snuggled up in bed. He got tired of waiting. I might be addicted to 76 now. Fallout is genuinely one of my favorite series so it's not surprising, and 76 just feels like an extension of 4. The multi-player aspect is really easy to ignore. Actually, I barely come across people. Occasionally someone will run by me, but no one has actually attempted to make contact, attack or harass me. I might join up with a group eventually, but I really do prefer to go it alone. I'm also glad that the main character went back to being mute. I dunno, I didn't like in 4 that my character had a voice, I don't need her to voice my thoughts, it's just unnecessary. It's like in Dishonored 2 when Corvo has a voice... I think that small thing might have completely repelled me from that game. Because I fuckin love Dishonored, only got through maybe an hour of 2. I've been meaning to give it another try, I've got a lot of gaming to do. It's supposed to be heavy snow, and negative temperatures for about the next week so I'm going to lock down with my cat, and my games❤️
02:21 Dec 21 2022
Times Read: 480
I'm finally delving into Fallout 76.
I'm a huge Fallout fan, I've played 3, 4, and New Vegas to completion many times. Why has it taken me so long to finally get into 76? Well, I heard really, REALLY bad things about it on release back in 2018. That it basically wasn't worth playing yet. Also. It's an online game. But from what I've looked into, you can solo the game. You will share a map with several other people, but you don't have to interact with them if you don't want to. You can go off by yourself, set up your own little camp, and do things by yourself with very little multi-player interaction. It's encouraged to cooperate obviously, but completely unnecessary. Teaming up in a game... It reminds me of in school when the teacher would make you work in pairs. Like, I really don't need the help, I'm better off on my own, I'm much more efficient by myself. And I'm just antisocial xD I don't want to be attached to a group of idiots that I have to keep alive. Same with Souls games, I don't ever summon people in to help, I don't need it. But while I was waiting for 76 to download, I was messing around online in Elden Ring, and apparently you won't actually get invaded unless you summon people in to help you. So I'm good. I just don't like being forced to acknowledge people in my game... But I love Fallout, and so far it seems pretty awesome. I haven't played a Fallout game in probably a couple years, but it's so easy to slide back into, I just need my shotgun. It's also one of the games in the catalog you get to download for free with PS Plus Premium Membership, and they have Fallout 3 and New Vegas so... I know what I'll be doing the rest of Winter xD And they have the full Mass Effect collection. I'd rather play old games I love than waste money on the garbage pumping out of the gaming industry lately. And the catalog contains the God of War games so I may actually play them as well eventually. Then I can be included when Wolfie, and my nephew start talking about it xD I don't think Wolfie will ever play Fallout with me, unfortunately he doesn't like it for whatever reason. Great taste in women, iffy taste in games...
08:57 Dec 20 2022
Times Read: 512
I drew my spirit animal💗
06:40 Dec 19 2022
Times Read: 553
06:09 Dec 19 2022
Times Read: 590
Latest Killstar haul🖤
Forest Spirit Necklace
This design has one huge glaring flaw... I hate the big, dangling, plastic crystal. It's one thing to put actual crystals on your jewelry, but it's been a common, stupid thing Gothic designers have been doing, big, dangling, plastic crystals. So after I take the pliers to that, this Necklace will be perfect, I do love the rest of the design.
Again, this design is one of my favorites. I love foresty designs. This is technically a top, but definitely fits me like a dress, it's nice being petite :3 I had someone buy a coat from me recently, and tried to get a refund from me because she was too tall for it... That's so shitty though. People who want refunds over sizing are the worst cause it's 100% not my fault if something doesn't fit you. Know your measurements, know your size.
I just look really cute in hats xD
Classic cross Gothic.
I can never have enough red and black❤️🖤
All of this for $40. To be fair, I had like $98 store credit. I also have a cute pair of shoes coming in for $25. Killstar has been running this program where you can resell stuff you bought from them for store credit. So you put the item on their site, someone buys it, you ship it to them, and after it's delivered you get store credit for the full amount it sold for. It's a pretty good deal if you buy from them a lot. It can also majorly be exploited... By buying stuff cheap, and reselling it on their site for full price after it's sold out. So say you buy a $50 skirt from the UK warehouse for $10 that's sold out in the US warehouse, you can sell it US side for $50+. Now you've turned that $10 worth of stuff into $50+ worth of stuff into $100+ worth of stuff into infinity. I'm curious how long it'll take them to realize it... They do have some dumb fuckin rules though. Like they don't like when you resell something there for less than they're selling it for if that thing is still in stock. Which I get, but it's also like... They also make you take pictures of the exact item youre selling to prove you are actually selling it, and make you take items out of the plastic for pictures. Again, I get it, but I eventually took all my stuff there down because I'd rather have straight money than store credit, there isn't much there I'm interested in buying right now. It's kinda like that everywhere right now, there's nothing good out. But maybe Christmas sales will change my mind❤️
00:39 Dec 17 2022
Times Read: 645
As much as I love my scythe, I might love this sword even more...
Obviously, I'm a big fan of bleed damage. If you're going big into Dex, bleed is the way to go. This sword scales in Dex and Arcane, and the Arcane is absolutely worth it for it's special skill, Corpse Piler. Because holy shit... It is beautiful to watch.
It is so fast, so smooth, and handles so well... I'm in love❤️
I do enjoy a good katana. The problem in Dark Souls is that katanas have extremely weak durability, like pretty much not worth investing in because they break so easily. But in Elden Ring there is no durability so that makes katanas much more viable. Bows as well, they're pretty weak in DS, and a bow is usually my go-to in most RPGs, but Dark Souls makes it nearly impossible to use them as a main weapon. They're much better in Elden Ring.
I did have to restat in order to properly use Rivers of Blood, I had to take most of what I had in Strength, and switch it into Arcane. But that's another thing I love about Elden Ring, it encourages you to restat, try different builds, find what works for you., try new things. And I am a katana fan, Moonveil is another katana I love, but this... even better.
The funny thing is, the different builds I looked into with this sword says you should dual-wield it with another, but I don't think that's even necessary. The base damage on it is pretty fantastic, it builds bleed fucking instantly, and the special skill just puts it over the top. It just might be the perfect Dex weapon. It might just be everything I've ever wanted... in a sword❤️
23:18 Dec 16 2022
Times Read: 679
Wolfie was sitting on video with me, and he was eating this big piece of bread. Like, real bread, not the sliced loaf garbage.
And as I'm watching him chew shamelessly he suddenly says to me, "I am way too comfortable around you."
Oh really? I hadn't noticed since you're like literally chewing in my face xD
It's good though. I mean, I really didn't notice until he said something because... he's just eating, big deal. It's like a few weeks ago when he showed me this big, gross bump on his body, and I thought it was sweet because he really is THAT comfortable with me xD Which, that bump has gone away by now so yay for that. But ya know, that's not something you do with someone who's temporary, you save all your gross lumps, and chewing for the one woman who's wifey material because only a woman who's willing to marry you will put up with that shit xD
No, really I am glad he's that comfortable with me. When we met he was so proper and uptight. Like... You can tie me up, spank me, and turn me into a whimpering, begging little puddle, but you won't kiss me in public? Which he's gotten over that, but intimacy has always been a thing with him, and most men I'd say, but especially him.
We were talking about my engagement ring. He said, "I've never put effort into picking out something so important for a woman, I don't really know how or if I'd be able to pick something you'd like."
So I had him find a ring, and show me. Not THE ring, just take a few minutes, and knowing what I like find a picture of a ring you'd possibly pick for me, and show me. And if it's like legitimately awful, I'll pick out the ring myself. But he showed me a really gorgeous ring, silver and diamonds and rubies. A little big for my personal taste... But certainly not ugly. He said it's from a jewler in Moscow he had been checking out. So I hope he has a little confidence in himself now. Do most men think they're good at picking out jewelry? Do most men even think about it? He just wants me to have something I'll genuinely love which is incredibly sweet, but I'll love it no matter what because it's from him, and he picked it just for me. I think that's how most women feel. Wolfie just overthinks everything, constantly. I feel like I spend a lot of time saying the words, "It's going to be ok, everything will be fine." And then he has the nerve to tell me he's worried about whether or not I can adapt to living in Moscow... Like he's the only capable one between us. Well we'll see about that❤️
07:05 Dec 15 2022
Times Read: 713
Is it possible that Radagon is part Giant?
I mean. The game never indicates where he came from. Obviously, he doesn't have a giants stature... But it makes it very clear that all Giants have red hair, and Radagon and most of his offspring just so happen to also have it. It's even suggested that Ranni was a redhead, the doll form she inhabits isn't her original, you can find her actual body burned up on top of a Divine Tower. I think Miquella was a blonde like his mother... And Rykard is unknown. But Malenia and Radahn, absolutely.
I also found this interesting.
I'd say that's a pretty affirmative indication that Alexander consumed Radahn's corpse. He did say, after the battle, that he was... eating dead warriors. I guess it never occurred to me it would be Radahn. Makes sense though.
As for Radagon, we really don't know his origin. He just kinda conveniently appeared while the Golden Order and Liurnia were at war with each other, marries Rennala the queen bitch of Liurnia, and brings peace between the two. It doesn't say anything about Radagon before this point in history almost like he didn't exist... This mighty champion just mysteriously shows up out of nowhere to lead the Golden Order, you'd think there would be more history there... But maybe not if he was just some random dude before then, looking for his opportunity to rise as a champion. Or he was created from Marika. I have a hard time believing he was always a conscious part of her. A big part of that is because of this.
So... she's a god, but he's not? He's yet to become her... Makes it seem like he was therefore not created from her.
And even after they merge, they're VERY different entities. Radagon is VERY committed to the Golden Order, proof of that is that while Marika was shattering the Elden Ring, he was simultaneously, desperately trying to fix it, trying to extend on the age of Order. While she's falling apart, losing her faith, he's trying to hold everything together. While Marika is losing her shit over Godwyn's death, Radagon had no relation to him so he's more composed. I don't think it's that simple though... I don't think she shattered the ring just simply because Godwyn was killed. Ya know, she told her children to rise up, and be something or they'd be sacrifices, probably not really the words of a woman who cares if her children die, one who would destroy everything over one measly death. I still like the theory that she was involved in plotting Godwyn's death. You've got Ranni who was a big part in it... And honestly she's got a pretty good reason to dislike the Greater Will/Golden Order/Marika. Ranni loves her mother, she protects her from you in Rennala second phase fight by summoning an illusion of her. And who leaves Rennala essentially as a broken husk of her former self? Radagon. Radagon crushes Rennala's heart by leaving to marry Marika. But... does Ranni know that Radagon(her father,) and Marika are merged? Whether she does or not, she has an excellent reason to very strongly dislike Marika. She's chosen as an Empyrean, the only demigod not born of Marika directly to gain that title, to possibly replace Marika as freakin goddess queen of the Golden Order. But Ranni despises the GO, the GW, and I'd say she despises Marika as well. Enough possibly to plot the death of her golden child while simultaneously ridding herself of her physical body, and killing her own Two Fingers therefore severing her ties to the infuence Greater Will so she can rise up, and bring about her own age, the Age of Stars, possibly under the influence of a dark moon outer god.
It makes sense🤯
I wouldn't call her a villain though. From exploring the Lands Between you find multiple indications that there have been many other deities over the vast expanse of time. She's bringing in one of many that have existed. Maybe at one point someone did the exact same thing for the Greater Will. It's the cycle of things, one age dies as another rises.
Where it gets a bit iffy though... The Black Knife Assassins, the ones who actually carried out murdering Godwyn, if they were her ally at that time then why do they very viciously turn against her? You find her Warmaster, Iji, dead, surrounded by dead BKA. You find her shadow, Blaidd, losing his shit talking about how he won't betray "her," many dead BKA around him. The BKA are hunting down her closest companions, why? It could be be because of what becomes of Godwyn after. His soul dies, but his body remains as a very creepy sorta empty meat sack. It's one thing to kill someone, but another to condem them to that nightmare. Ranni knew exactly what they were doing, I'm not sure they did, not fully.
I do enjoy the people though who argue, "Well Ranni says she didn't do it." Oh, ok, Ranni says she didn't do it, case closed, she certainly wouldn't lie, no one in a Souls game has ever lied. No one has ever stabbed you in the back or pushed you off a cliff or kicked you down a hole or locked you in a room with a big monster, no, no, only honorable NPCs here.
I think FromSoftware should make a game where it turns out Patches is the ultimate end boss xD The way I feel about Patches is kinda how the NPCs react to Charles in Choo-choo Charles. Their attitude towards this big, terrifying mutant spider train is so chill, almost endearing. "Oh, there goes Charles again, steer clear of that lovable little scamp can be quite the handful. Here's a giant gun, you two have fun now." They don't say that exactly, but that's all I can think every time based on the tone, and reaction of every NPC in that game xD
23:02 Dec 14 2022
Times Read: 748
My Rogue and Wolf order came in today🖤
I spent about $150 during Black Friday, and it took almost three weeks to get here. I don't blame them for that, I've seen the shit happening with Royal Mail lately so honestly I'm surprised it got here so quickly. Mostly rings and necklaces, but also a couple shirts thrown in.
Three boxes of jewelry in fact xD But the stuff was selling for like $1-2 so I just filled my cart with whatever was left, whatever size, whatever style. So here they are in no particular order.
Like I said, varying sizes. My natural ring finger size is a 6-7, but they were sold out of a lot so I took what was left cause bigger sizes can fit my middle finger.
The Lilith ring is probably my favorite.
It's just gorgeous...
And here are the shirts.
Rogue and Wolf are definitely more accessories oriented, but they've got some cute shirt designs, these two being my favorite. Pretty great haul for $150, the jewelry alone generally sells full price for $15-40. The Lillith ring for example sells retail for about $35 so... getting $35 rings for like $2, pretty awesome. Dunno if I'll keep it all, I was thinking about giving the plague doctor necklace to my oldest nephew, he's been into that stuff for awhile. I warned him... if you're going to stand out, you need to have thick skin cause people are going be outright rude about it at times. To be different you need to give no fucks about what anyone thinks. I'm not sure he's built for it. I encourage all of my nieces, and nephews to be whatever makes them comfortable, but I know how cruel people can be if you don't fall in line with everyone else. It can also be incredibly lonely wondering what's wrong with you that you can't simply blend in with everyone else. Not everyone is suited to wear unicorn skulls xD
So now I'm waiting on my latest KS order, and I also ordered a single item from Hot Topic. If you'll remember, I put in an order of four items not too long ago, and literally was sent one... They did refund me, but... I just wanted this sweater.
It was the one item I really wanted from my last order, and didn't get it. So I'm hoping having literally only ordered this one thing this time, maybe I'll get it. Otherwise, it's just going to be an empty package at which point I'm going to be very pissed off xD I understand that it's the holidays, shipping is crazy, but you can't send me an empty package, you just can't. But ya know... I wouldn't necessarily be surprised. Hot Topic is getting extremely bad about not shipping things properly so what little I ordered from them before will probably dwindle down to zero. I only really order from them when I get the like $200 off $400 purchase anyway. They're a good source for resale material, but that doesn't help when you don't get the shit you ordered so...
The US Killstar warehouse has also pissed me off lately. Unfortunately, I still have $75 in store credit that's only good for the US side so I have to spend it with them. Oddly enough, there's not much left I want from them... Their latest release is like a straight up ripoff of Black Craft Cult. I don't personally care for most of Black Craft Cult's designs, the neon colors are pretty off-putting, so I probably only order from them about once a year. Which sucks because they regularly have 40% off sales, I wish I liked more of their stuff. Or maybe just finally be satisfied with my closet, and stop buying so many clothes...
Yeah right xD
07:40 Dec 14 2022
Times Read: 777
00:18 Dec 14 2022
Times Read: 828
I'm not an online gamer. I don't enjoy playing with people. It ruins my immersion. When I get invaded in Dark Souls, and I have to stop whatever it is that I was doing to kill some motherfucker who thought they'd roll up on me for an easy kill. Then, after they've been brutally destroyed, I can't remember what it was that I was doing, and there's not even a corpse left in their death that I can kick in frustration. That's online gaming to me, merely an annoyance. But. Playstation has a full catalog of games you can play for a meager membership price. Namely I was talking about replaying through Final Fantasy 8, and 12, and they're in there. Death Stranding is in there too. I really liked Death Stranding's story... but did I enjoy it from a game play perspective? Was it fun? That's a great question... I told myself after I had beaten it that I didn't think I'd ever need to play it again.
I did see though that Elden Ring added some new hairstyles... If you'll recall, back when it first came out I was a bit upset about the lack of pigtails in the hair options.
I'm not saying they added them just for me... But I'm totally going to think they added them just for me xD
Now, does my hair really matter since I wear the Black Knife hood?
Absolutely, 100% not. But... it makes me feel like a badass, kicking ass in pigtails :3
I also heard the collosseums were open. Again, it's an online gaming aspect so not really my thing, but I'm glad they finally opened for something. It seemed really silky to have these giant buildings just sitting there with no purpose. I might try it out sometime since I'm really considering getting my ps plus membership back just for the games. They've got some good games in the catalog. They've got Prey which is one of my all time favorite games. The DLC for Prey is one if the best DLCs I've ever seen, second only to the Bloodborne DLC. Dark Souls DLC... DS1 has great DLC, DS2 is unnecessary garbage, and DS3 is... it's alright. I'm really trying to hold off on buying a PS5 til after I move. Wolfie is very insistent on me getting into PC gaming with him, and that's fine, I'll do the online thing for him, but I told him I still will be getting myself a PS5. If he doesn't like it then he can just keep his hands off xD
I finally made it to level 200❤️
Some people might look at my stats, and wonder how I survive. This is a very typical build for me, usually with about half the invested HP. A lot of people will tell you to pour points into Endurance... I've never had an issue, while wielding a huge scythe mind you, with only 10 Endurance. And if I'm really in a bind, I strip off all my armor. You wouldn't believe how fast you are when you're almost naked, if you're having trouble dodging take off your clothes. It's gonna hurt more if you do get hit... so just don't get hit❤️
23:05 Dec 12 2022
Times Read: 860
But what if the Dark Sign...
Was part of the Elden Ring?
I can almost see the Hunter's Mark...
07:19 Dec 12 2022
Times Read: 896
01:58 Dec 12 2022
Times Read: 931
08:08 Dec 11 2022
Times Read: 1,001
Trying to organize my packing, and...
My kitty is, perhaps, not ready to let me go💗
07:16 Dec 11 2022
Times Read: 1,031
I planned for a quiet evening with my boyfriend... But we were invaded by my nieces and nephews. It always impresses me how well Wolfie handles them because... they can be pretty wild, and he tends to be pretty controlling of the things around him. They're just so excited to talk to him, they literally fight over who gets to talk. My 13 year old nephew in particular gets along well with him. Since Wolfie is a huge gamer and mythology nerd they get into God of War stuff. Personally, never played them, never watched them, don't know anything about them. But they get into it, and it's nice to see because my oldest nephew needs positive male influences in his life. His dad is a real piece of shit, and because of that my nephew has some childhood trauma which Wolfie can definitely relate to. After my sister divorced his dad, he moved in some skank he met online, barely knew her, and her son, and according to my nephew that kid did certain things to him back then. Of course, when my sister tried to get it investigated, said skank, and child mysteriously, coincidently were always out of state suddenly so it got dropped. And then after a few years of that, his dad just left to go, and be with said skank, just left his two kids with my sister behind for two years with zero contact. Recently, he's been trying to sweep back in, demanding his rights... Literally, allow your children to be abused, abandon them for years, then come back like it's all good... I told my nephew, and his sister, it's up to you guys how far you let your dad back in, but you need to make it clear to him how he's made you feel. You deserve to speak your piece.
And my nephew has my brother, my dad, and his stepdad so he does have male figures around, but I told Wolfie it's good to also have people around who understand the things you've been through. Because my dad will tell you to just get over it. He told my mother that when she had severe depression, he told me that when I literally had bodily organ failure, he doesn't understand things being beyond your control, he doesn't sympathize. I want all the kids to feel like Uncle Wolfie is there for them, and he's an excellent resource for a variety of things. He tells me it's the last thing he wants is for them to feel abandoned after we leave... But they'll be able to contact me 24/7 so we'll be there. I appreciate his consideration for everyone, but it'll be fine.
My youngest niece was talking to him, and she was grilling him pretty good on when he was going to be back xD And then she told him, "Well bring me lots of plushies and candy."
He's like, "Ok, she's definitely related to you, bunny."
Yep, she's pretty much just a miniature me💗
06:09 Dec 10 2022
Times Read: 1,070
10:46 Dec 09 2022
Times Read: 1,108
Wolfie will sometimes spend hours talking to me... about Star Wars...
Hey, we're nerds, it's expected. I'm not huge on Star Wars or anything, but Wolfie is pretty fond of it. Particularly, the Sith. He doesn't ever really teach me much about the Jedi, but he will often speak of the Sith. He says that a Sith Lord, and their apprentice are a bit like a Dom and Sub.
Mhm... but, uh, without the killing each other, right?
I don't want to have to take you down, my Master...
But I can see where he's coming from. Wolfie, as a Dom, wants a sub that can match him. He doesn't want the weak, simpering, shrinking violet... He wants fierce, firey, feisty. He enjoys a sub who can challenge him, not just one who rolls over to be conquered. He likes a fighter. He wants someone with equal ferocity and passion. He often says to me, "Little Bunny, you know I prefer to hunt my prey..." Oh, I know. He licks his lips, his eyes seem to softly glow, my breath catches in my throat, my heart races, I stare wide-eyed up at him... Excitement.
When it's primal, raw, uninhibited, it's so basic, but so perfect.
And for Wolfie, personally, watching his sub rise up, and grow to be his match has been very important to him. It's something his former subs could never do.
But they weren't his Bunny :3
I think it's important to be with someone who seeks you as intensely as you seek them. Accept nothing less❤️
You can probably tell I'm missing him xD
I mean, I always miss him, but the last few days it's been extra. Like EXTRA.
If the Universe would be so kind as to return him to me now, please.
You've kept him away long enough, it's my turn.
I get it. Wolfie needed some time for self realization. He needed to get away from his former life, this country, maybe even me for a bit. It's hard finding yourself amidst a sea of other people's expectations of you. I told him that meeting me must have derailed his life.
"Yeah, you completely did."
You'd probably be a billionaire by now if you hadn't met me.
But... Would you have been happy?
I just thought... you deserved better.
"I got better, bunny."
07:19 Dec 09 2022
Times Read: 1,140
Wolfie doesn't do social media. I don't either really. He says, "What am I going to take pictures of? Me working? Oh, and here's the steak, and rice I'm eating for the 10th time this week."
He has a point xD So I told him that after we move we'll make a social media account together, and we'll post pictures of us together, all the places we go, and we'll be that really annoying couple that constantly floods our page with the food we're eating. Basically, we're gonna be that social media couple that everyone hates xD And I'm totally ok with that. I told him, he needs to find things that give him joy in life.
He says, "I already have joy in life, I have Bun."
But. I want him to do more than work, and eat steak. Because I'm putting him in charge of my diet after we move, and I fucking hate steak. Worse than that, Wolfie's favorite thing to eat, steak tartare. I'm just like...🤢
"It's amazing, just try i-"
So. He's going to have to cook more than that for me. I try not to judge his indulgence in raw meat. He is a wolf afterall... But yeah, I prefer veggies and fruit and sweets obviously. I told him he could make me cauliflower tartare xD Once a month I get a ferocious craving for meat, but aside from that I'm just not big on it which is why he's happy to make me veggie dishes, but we need to get him off the steak and rice diet. He loves to cook, he's great at it, but when I'm not around he falls back into that rut because, "I'm not going to make interesting food just for myself." And that's another part of his depression, his disinterest in doing things just for himself. There are still a lot of hurdles to get over with him, but we're working on it. Just like me. He tells me one of the best things is seeing how confident I've become... I'm a work in progress too. Wolfie, and I have both helped each other progress emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, every way. You have to look at everyone you've connected with in your life. Even the bad connections changed you in some way, progressed you even. But then you meet someone who hits every level, every wavelength, everything in you connects perfectly into them. That's Wolfie❤️
04:38 Dec 09 2022
Times Read: 1,168
Sometimes it hits me hard how much I miss him. Immediately after spending hours on the phone, we hang up, I'm laying in bed alone... It's so quiet without him. His voice, his presence, everything is less when he's not there. Everything is dimmed. I don't want him to worry about me though. I don't want him to think that I'm not ok. I mean, I'm fine, but if he knows how much I miss him then he starts stressing, and he already stresses enough. Besides. He knows. He feels it too. He was telling me that my voice is like the smell of roses, and oranges, and spice... It intoxicates him. I've never had my voice described as a scent before. It's called synesthesia when you can smell sound, taste color. He says it smells similar to opera music... But better. And he loves opera. He's just full of surprises❤️
08:45 Dec 08 2022
Times Read: 1,199
It's interesting that the new Dragon Age is going to be so focused on Solas... because he was the single one companion in Inquisition that I gave absolutely no fucks about. I tried to like him, tried to be friendly towards him just to basically be told to go fuck myself with his constant disapproval of me. Because I was an elf he disliked me. Because I was a rogue he disliked me. Because I was a woman he disliked me.
Every time I spoke to him I was met with complete disdain. To the point where after the first couple times of trying to interact with him, I just stopped trying, and never spoke to him through about 90% of the game. And maybe that's just his design, to be unlikable. I loved every other character, he was not likable, and that was across multiple playthroughs, I just couldn't with him. So I dunno how I feel about the next game putting him as a central figure. He's kinda like Ashey in Mass Effect, she's there, but I never went out of my way to speak to her or take her on any missions. While it was a difficult decision between everyone else, I always knew it'd never be her, I just didn't connect with her.
I love the dragon fights in Inquisition. Elden Ring has decent dragon fights as well. When my nephew first started his character I told him there was good loot in Agheel Lake, and it was 100% safe... A dragon totally doesn't crash down on you like flying death.
And he actually trusted me xD
He learned a very valuable, very basic RPG lesson. Never trust a rogue❤️
22:23 Dec 07 2022
Times Read: 1,237
The Devil in Me aka redundancy the video game.
Honestly, the real horror of every Supermassive game is the end when you see there's going to be another one...
How many times can you throw the same shitty thing out there? I guess we'll see four more awful games later.
Until Dawn is good, it's even great.
Until Dawn again, and again, and then you've got the Quarry which is literally, hi, I'm Until Dawn AGAIN. I'm a pale, naked humanoid creature that wants to eat you... Ahhh? Like honestly, there's a whole fuckin rainbow of monsters out there, and you jumped on werewolf after doing wendigo? Not even a badass werewolf, probably one of the least threatening enemy models I've ever seen. It's a little boring... At least in Until Dawn I felt like I was playing an actual game. Since then these releases have basically been walking simulators. Walk, press a button, longass scene watching pretty much the most unlikable characters they could come up with. I think it's much more satisfying getting everyone killed as quickly as possible.
I wish I could enjoy crappy, generic games, I wish they fulfilled me.
I mentioned Lollipop Chainsaw to Wolfie...
He said, "Of course you love that game, it's about you."
I mean... cute, pigtailed blonde with a rainbow heart chainsaw, absolutely.
Carrying my boyfriend's head on my ass... Well ok, if it was necessary.
We had been talking about how good he is with his tongue, you don't wanna know xD But it randomly reminded me of when in Lollipop Chainsaw the dad asks her boyfriend how he's going to kill anything without a body, something about using throwing stars with his tongue. Welcome to being my boyfriend, where everything, even sexual situations have a video game reference💗
I was hoping they'd do a Lollipop Chainsaw 2 instead of a fucking remake... I'm starting to think that no one has a good idea left because it's just remake after remake after remake after same. You could say the same thing about Souls games... they are mechanically the same, but they have such deep story to them that I never get tired of exploring them. Maybe that's how someone feels about Supermassive Games? Ehh... Kinda low standard in my opinion. I don't even know how I feel about Red Dead 2. It's a gorgeous game, the characters are great, the story is great, but... It's like there's no mystery there, it's all handed to you without even trying. Although, I did run across a headless body hanging from a tree, and a note about a murderer while I was haplessly wandering around so... that did intrigue me. I like the random stuff like that, that you just find out in the world. I also bought Smash Ultimate on my Switch while the boys were over this weekend. I hadn't played Smash since the GameCube version so it's like a whole new world xD But my main is still now, and forever Kirby💗
18:36 Dec 05 2022
Times Read: 1,290
He said I'd be perfect for Alexstrasza cosplay because, "Dragons are wise, powerful, beautiful and majestic, just like Bun." And I admit, I had to look that one up xD Is it possible that Wolfie is... outnerding me? Impossible. WOW is just eh... I tried it when I was a teenager when my dad was addicted to it, and it just felt really boring to me, I couldn't get into it. But I do like hot, red-headed dragon cosplay, that would be a fun photoshoot. I told him we could definitely make some money selling my pictures. His exact response to that was, "If you do OnlyFans I will feed your subscribers to rats, slowly. Or maybe feed them their own eyes? Hmm that sounds fun..."
He's so adorable :3 I love him so much.
As Wolfie prepares me to move to Russia... it makes me excited. He says his lawyer has everything ready, we just need to show up with my documents, get approved, and then if I'm good there for a couple years I can apply for the actual passport. That'll give me time to properly learn the language and everything. Hopefully it's that easy, hopefully they don't give us a hard time, but we'll see how it goes when we get there. I want to see everything, and he's really excited to show me. He stayed up all night last night telling me everything he can't wait to show me❤️
08:07 Dec 04 2022
Times Read: 1,325
23:36 Dec 03 2022
Times Read: 1,354
08:38 Dec 03 2022
Times Read: 1,396
My kitty seems to be getting better. He's eating more, he's a bit more playful like normal, and he went for a walk around the block today. He's still sleeping a lot, and when I say that everyone feels the need to remind me, "Well cats sleep a lot." Yes... I know. But I also know my cat. I know when he's acting abnormal. He does sleep a lot, but it's more than a lot. And usually when I get up to leave the room, he follows me. But he's been pretty conked out in bed the last few days. If it had gone on any longer then I would've taken him to the vet, but he seems to be recovering, it was just a virus. He had been coughing a lot, and wasn't meowing until today so maybe his throat was hurting. My cat tends to have full on conversations with me so... He also dropped a lot of weight just from barely eating the last few days, but he seems to be getting his appetite back so hopefully he'll be back to normal. I'm still keeping him inside with me for the most part, since he's sleeping most of the time anyway, and I worry when I don't know where he's at. This is exactly why Wolfie, and I can't take him with us. As much as I hate leaving him, I think he'll be better off staying here with my mom, and the kids. He's just too old to undergo a trip like that. Wolfie says that's one reason why he wants us to be completely stable in one place, so we won't have to move our kitties from country to country. He also says, "Then I want Bun to know that she's safe, and always ok in one place at least." I'm not sure Russia is a place I'm going to feel perfectly safe in... Wolfie says I'll be safer there than anywhere else, and I do trust him, it's just kinda scary moving to a big city, I'm a country girl. I'm ready for the adventure, but I'm also a little bit nervous. But as long as Wolfie is there then I know I'll be fine. He's so cute, he says it's about time we officially got married. I didn't know we were unofficially married xD But I have always told him, he's stuck with me for life, he's my mate🐺🐰❤️
I know he just means that he wants everything official so that if something happens to him... I get that. We both have unfortunate health conditions, and we're both currently stable until we're not so... I get it, I understand him wanting to make sure I'm taken care of I'd anything happens. I can't think about that though. I can't see him not being there. But his blood condition is genetic, and the other people in his family who have had/have it didn't live super short loves or anything so I think he'll be ok. He keeps a close eye on his blood, he goes into the doctor whenever he feels off so he does take good care of himself which I appreciate. I don't like talking or thinking about if something happens to him. I know it's practical, I know it's the adult thing to do, but it's too much. So I need him to live longer than me xD He knows this. It kinda sucks though cause... if I die, I don't really have anything to leave him. My nieces have already called dibs on my wardrobe so I guess he could have my video games xD I don't have a ton of money or property or investments to pass on... Maybe someday. Probably not❤️
01:26 Dec 02 2022
Times Read: 1,439
Another Killstar haul❤️🖤
Everything I wanted, many black cloaks, hoodies, and sweaters🖤
06:45 Dec 01 2022
Times Read: 1,363
I had a dream that was a perfect premonition of the future...
I was in Russia, and I was lost, Wolfie had lost me, and I ended up in this candy store buying several really big lollipops xD
I always tell Wolfie, if you lose me I'll definitely be somewhere looking at shoes, makeup or candy. He knows I tend to wander... And he doesn't want me going out in Moscow by myself until he's sure I'm completely comfortable finding my way around. In my dream I had tried to text him, but anytime I try to text or call someone in my dreams, it's like it never goes through... Wolfie worries a lot, but I'll be fine, I can handle myself. Besides, I probably wouldn't go out without him. If I don't drag him out every day, he'll waste away inside, working himself to death. I've always known he was a workaholic, but... I hope that'll change a little bit after I move in. He got an extension on his Slovenian visa just in case things in Russia don't work out, and we end up moving there instead. He's super worried about World War 3... So I ask him, why move to Russia at all if you're that concerned? He said we need to get married there so I would be entitled to his assets there if anything happens to him. He also says waking up to Bun in Pikachu pajamas every morning is a pretty good incentive to get married too... So cute :3 He also wants to move to Moscow because he wants me to experience things. Which is really nice... I just want to go where he'll be happiest. He said his paperwork is all finished, he just has to go pick it up, hopefully by the end of the week. He's been sick, I've been sick, my poor kitty is still sick. He ate a bit more today though so I think he's feeling a little better. His new kitty house came in yesterday, but I'm keeping him in bed with me until he's eating better. Wolfie says maybe it's his age catching up with him... I dunno, I think he's just got some virus. I promised my youngest niece she could come spend the night this weekend... Iove having the kids over, but they spread their germs all over me. I'm just now kinda getting over a nearly three week cough. Wolfie has been having migraines, and bad insomnia, honestly I think he's just overstressed. I try to reassure him, things will be fine, things are going to go how they're going to go, and it'll be fine, we'll be fine. He's so worried about the future, I never worry about it because whatever is going to happen is going to happen whether you worry or prepare or not. I want him to relax, and enjoy life with me in my Pikachu pajamas. Maybe he needs some Pikachu pajamas...