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cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

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41 entries this month
 

06:22 Jan 31 2023
Times Read: 34


Fallout has been super buggy since the last update. Not unplayable... But not enjoyable when the game crashes constantly. Well, only when I use VATS in events. And then events stopped altogether for a couple hours so I think they fixed it, maybe. It seemed a bit better after that. But then the w
Wendigo Collosus event broke... twice. The boss straight up fell through the floor both times to where it was just unreachable, and couldn't be killed. After the second time I called it quits xD Fallout is known for being a bit buggy and crashy, but not being able to use VATS is like playing any Souls game, and not being able to dodge, it's muscle memory. I dunno, that part seemed better, but wasting 1000 bullets on a boss just to have them fall through the floor right before they die... No😐
Wolfie is being called into a meeting about his residency tomorrow. Hopefully they're finally giving him his stuff so he can leave. They told him they couldn't ship it, he had to go there, and pick it up, and it would be pretty shitty to have him drive there for anything else. So hopefully he'll wake me up with the best news ever. He said his residency there will be good for 5 years this time so he won't have to go through all this again til then. Then we'll have to figure out how to ship my stuff over. Wolfie says to let him handle it, and he is very, very good at handling things. But he says we'll probably have to ship everything to China, and then to Russia from China. It does not comfort me, the thought of all my worldly possessions going across the world. But hey, I can always buy new stuff if it gets lost, it's just stuff, and as long as I have Wolfie then it'll be ok❤️

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21:29 Jan 30 2023
Times Read: 69


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21:29 Jan 30 2023
Times Read: 70


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08:28 Jan 30 2023
Times Read: 95


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03:02 Jan 28 2023
Times Read: 138


Wolfie went out today, and he was trying to find some presents for me because I'm an adorably spoiled kitten :3
And that's when he found...
A $700 toaster.
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By Dolce + Gabbana.
I dunno... a $700 toaster is kinda hilarious to me xD
It's kinda pretty, I guess, it's very colorful, but at the end of the day, toast is toast, right? I guess you could say that about anything, but can anything really be more toasted than toasted? Is it possible to toast better than something else?
He said he'd buy it if I wanted it, but I can't really decorate our apartment until I'm there. He was telling me that interior decorating is a high in demand thing right now so if I'd be interested then he could talk to his cousin about getting me into that. I'm not exactly sure what his cousin does, I think he runs his own company that builds buildings, Wolfie said if we decide to build our own house he'd have him do it so pretty sure that's it. So he'll be the guy to talk to about building my heated pool xD Look, if you're going to custom build a house catered to me... it needs a nice pool, and a nice kitchen, and a nice playroom, but Wolfie also loves swimming, cooking, and "playing." And a nice gaming room :3 And... maybe an art studio. Ok, so I want a lot, I'm a demanding woman. Lucky for me, Wolfie finds my demanding side super adorable. He literally says to me he loves when I'm high maintenence. I think he just enjoys having someone to shower with all his affection, emotional, material, and otherwise. It's interesting because he's definitely not an undesirable person, he's very intelligent, funny, attractive, successful, he's got a lot going if you can get past the deep depression. And I'll admit, it's not easy getting to that side of him, it's well protected. He tells me he thinks people are afraid of him... But ya know, that's silly, he's really the sweetest.
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So cute ^^

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06:11 Jan 27 2023
Times Read: 183


Wolfie compares me to Princess Renner of Overlord...
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Maybe a little...🖤
He's been watching anime again which makes me really happy. Sometimes Wolfie's depression gets so bad he can't see the point in doing things he enjoys because in the moment he can't feel anything. So it's good to see him getting back into anime and gaming. And it's just nice seeing him take the time off to do things besides work. I'm sure after we move he'll go back to being a workaholic... But hopefully not nearly like he was before. I appreciate he works so hard, and so much for us. But... There were always things he wanted us to do back then, and he just never had time for them. Now he does :3
I've also discovered my favorite new weapon, the Gauss Rifle. I was really wanting to find a decent energy weapon because I've never used one in any Fallout game, and there's a whole variety of them available. I like the Gauss Rifle because it's like three different guns in one. You can quick shot it like a pistol, charge it for a blast like a shotgun, and it's got excellent range so you can use it like a rifle. The only thing I dislike about it is that it only holds five shots, and the reload speed is a bit slow. It's also hard to find mods for it because it's kind of a rarer weapon... But the damage is amazing, it can two-shot Snallygasters. It also tends to make the things you shoot explode xD I did lose all my mutations again though... So I spent a whole night grinding those back out. Then found out you can buy serums for every mutation, but they're almost $5,000 each. I prefer my way of drinking outrageous amounts of toxic goo til I'm more irradiated than the fucking Sun😵‍💫

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20:47 Jan 26 2023
Times Read: 224


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The absolute disrespect I get from him, it's unfuckingreal...

New clothes :3
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Because my new shoes were lonely❤️

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07:54 Jan 26 2023
Times Read: 256


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07:21 Jan 26 2023
Times Read: 278


Ever want to spend like $500 on random junk?
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That's the vibe right now💗

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03:42 Jan 25 2023
Times Read: 333


Blades of the DarkMoon...
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But fucking kawaii🔪💗
Hmm... Needs more bunny though.
Fallout is down, downloading a new update, and Wolfie has gone to bed so I'm left to my own devices for the rest of the evening. I considered playing Elden Ring for a bit, but... It's so easy to get sucked into, and then it's hard to put down.
I miss Wolfie whenever he's sleeping... Even when he uses big words, and tries to talk to me about things that I don't believe are even real xD
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Meanwhile... I'm still over here endlessly delighted, and amazed that my favorite avocado pencil actually has an eraser.
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Imagine using two separate pencils, one wholly for the eraser, like an absolute fool💗

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08:19 Jan 24 2023
Times Read: 364


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08:18 Jan 24 2023
Times Read: 365


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23:03 Jan 23 2023
Times Read: 398


New boots and jewelry case🖤❤️
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Those boots are just a given, you knew I was going to have those the exact second I saw them. They are gorgeous, and very me. I also immediately wanted that jewelry case because I thought it would be perfect for travel. It's thin enough to easily fit into my carry-on, but pretty sturdy. And it's velvet, and red/black, and bats so also very me, and I fucking love it all especially since they were both on sale so only cost $165❤️
While I was talking to Wolfie last night for whatever reason it never occurred to me that mechanical watches don't use batteries so Wolfie got to explaining it to me, and now he wants to buy me a watch xD Cause I've never had one. I mean... who really needs a watch? He was looking at his favorite place in Austria, and he said they make a Persephone design :3 He wouldn't tell me how much it costs... He never tells me how much stuff costs, he always says, "That's not something for my Bunny to worry about." Which is really sweet, and believe me, no one is more responsible than him with money so it's not like I care what he spends on what, I'm just curious. I feel like most guys would wanna brag about how much they spend on their girlfriends, but Wolfie is very humble. I've made pretty good sales the last couple weeks. It was very slow right after Christmas, but it's picked back up again, probably due to tax season. I dunno if my firmer employer is going to mail my tax papers or what. I really don't want to have to in, and get them. Maybe it's harsh to spend a year working with people like family just to suddenly completely write them off, and never speak to any of them again. That's just how it is with me though. After the way things went down I have no desire to deal with them, but I need my papers. The very least they could do is leave them in my mailbox, the place is literally a couple blocks away. It would be really, really stupid for me to have to contact the IRS to contact them to send it to me, but I would literally rather do that than go back in there xD I just don't want to unnecessary confrontation.. And my dad says to me, "Friends are pretty hard to come by." Well, fuck that. I listened to my boss every day talk about wanting to fire my coworker, how garbage she was at her job, how everyone preferred me over her, but then when it came down to it, when he finally had the chance to say his piece, he sat there with his head down, listened to her lie about me, didn't defend me at all. That ain't my friend. And what really fucking bugs me, they told me it was obvious how much I disliked my coworker. Fuck that as well. On a professional level, absolutely, I hated working work her, she simultaneously wanted to be in charge yet do nothing, and then complain about everything I did, she was awful to work with. But I never once talked shit about her as a person, I didn't dislike her as a person, that was not a thing. See, this is why I don't want to go back in there, it still pisses me off xD Just do your fucking job, send me my papers, don't fucking make me come in there, you won't enjoy it. And I need to get all this settled before Wolfie gets back. Which isn't like super pressing, he's still waiting for his papers. They told him he was approved, and they just had to mail the actual document to him, but they also said that like a month ago, and then suddenly they had issues with the paperwork he gave them so... He's also still waiting to hear from his lawyer about my Russian entrance stuff. So even if he got back tomorrow we'd still be waiting on that. He says everything there will be a lot easier than the European stuff... after we're in. Getting in right now is sorta the problem. But he has a ton of connections there so hopefully someone can help us out. I am only a small bun, what trouble could I really cause? It's like Wolfie says, I'm sample sized :3

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07:25 Jan 23 2023
Times Read: 445


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Of course, a bunny's true, holy weapon💗
I saw the most adorable thing today...
I spent over 5 hours on the phone with Wolfie, and at one point he was looking at his computer, got very quiet, and then suddenly started completely losing his shit...
...over Warhammer minis xD
I've never seen him nerd out so hard, it was so cute.
I fucking love him so much :3
He was telling how much garbage the gaming industry has been putting out the last several years, which we all know I agree with. But what about Elden Ring?
"I haven't even played it, but I know it's amazing. We should sit down with some wine, and you can tell me all the lore."
Love of my life💗💗💗
He's going to regret that xD
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It's also infinitely sweet how he remembers the things I say :3
If only I could remember the context of why I'd say something like that xD It's definitely me, but... that's some chaotic evil shit, what the Hell was I talking about?

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08:25 Jan 22 2023
Times Read: 486


I've made a mistake browsing through lolita again...
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Almost $200 for some plastic jewelry... I've got it in my cart xD
Then there's the full Holy Wolf set available.
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Those lil wolfie ears😵
I haven't bought a new Lolita dress in... it's been a bit. Over a year at least. Maybe two. It's just a lot that goes into Lolita, it's a whole thing. You can't simply put on a dress, and call it good. I actually sold most of my loli dresses for very good money. But I had some fuckin grail dresses... I had fucking Holy Lantern in pink, why would you ever let me sell that? But ya know... That just means I have to rebuild. The hunt is on💗🌠
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I swear AP makes things JUST for me💗

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07:03 Jan 22 2023
Times Read: 513


One reason I like doing events with lots of people.
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Someone always brings the party favors which apply random buffs to everyone in the vicinity. Confetti Mess is my favorite, instead of blood it makes people's heads erupt into rainbow sprinkle confetti :3 Plus I have four mutations now, none of which are particularly negative. Not bad enough for me to run myself clean through decontamination cause then I'd lose my favorite mutation, and that is non-negotiable. There is an armor set with a jetpack that could possibly replace the high jumps, but I like my setup. I'd like to get a decent automatic weapon. I found this one.
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Which is very me xD
It just needs to be modded a bit. I love the paint job though💗
It's supposed to snow all week. It's snowing where Wolfie is at too. It makes me want to play Harvest Moon.

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09:03 Jan 21 2023
Times Read: 532


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08:45 Jan 21 2023
Times Read: 558


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08:43 Jan 21 2023
Times Read: 559


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08:53 Jan 20 2023
Times Read: 610


Wolfie was trying to describe the apartment in Moscow to me. I told him, no pictures, I want to see it first when we get there. But... I'm curious. He said you walk into the foyer area, and on one side there's the kitchen, dining room, living room, and the other side is two bedrooms, bathrooms, and our playroom. He said the workers asked him why he was soundproofing that particular room, and he told them it's for music xD So now he's talking about completely redoing the apartment in Sochi next cause he usually rents it out, but he'd like for it to be a weekend getaway place just for us since it's only a couple hour plane ride away, and it's super nice there, and that's where the beach is so I'm definitely up for being there a lot. He'll tell me we can do anything so what do I want to do? That's a hard thing to answer. Before, he was working so much there was never time to really do anything, and now he has the time... Where do I want to go? What do I want to see? What would make me happy? It's kinda overwhelming when the guy asking you that can actually make it all happen. With him, I want to see everything❤️
Wolfie really deserves everything. I can't change what happened to him as a kid, I can't take away his trauma, and replace it with all the affection he should have received. But I told him, he's got someone that loves him more than anything, and has his back no matter what. And that's kinda rare. It's something most people probably don't get in life. It isn't just falling in love with someone, marrying them, being with them, it's more than that. It's what we got. Our story is chaotic, and complicated, and kinda crazy. It's very us❤️

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23:25 Jan 19 2023
Times Read: 646


I really want to get the White Rabbit tattoo on my arm redone.
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Possibly like completely covered up redone with a better White Rabbit. Since... it was a badly planned impulse tattoo from a much younger me. Underneath the rabbit it says, "Only a few find the way," which I'd like to keep in the design. Everyone asks me what that means. If you know, you know❤️
When I got it, probably over ten years ago, I had every intention of doing a full sleeve of Wonderland on my arm. I just haven't gotten around to it xD The good thing, Wolfie is really into my tattoos, he'd like to see me with lots more, so we're planning that after we move. He really wants me to get a back piece, but that's going to be something big, and I'm not sure what I'd like. Maybe a Souls games collage back + side piece. But then it's like, how do I narrow down exactly what I want from all the games... I'd also like if we got some sort of matching tattoos. Wolfie doesn't have any so that'll be interesting. He really wants me to get something super naughty to which I respond, ok, but then I can never wear a bikini in public again if you're going to put THAT there xD
Wolfie said today that he heard back about his residency bullshit, that it has been approved, but it's still going through final processing. I'm like, yeah, well they said that before... He told them he can't stay there forever without knowing anything that's going on, and they told him it's taking forever because there are a ton of immigrants coming into the EU. Which is understandable given what's happening over there. I'm just frustrated. I want us to finally be together in our nice comfy apartment. I want this shit to be done. And after this we have to start the Russian processing which will probably be worse. I hate everything right now xD

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07:34 Jan 19 2023
Times Read: 685


I love it when my cat patiently waits beside my bed, and as soon as I lay down he hops up, and snuggles up against me.
He's been a clingy boy for awhile now. He didn't used to be, but lately he's stuck to me. I had a bad dream about him last night, and woke up with major anxiety. For some reason, Wolfie and I were out in this house in the middle of nowhere, and I was packing because we were getting ready to leave for Russia. And for whatever reason I had like 100 pairs of shoes that I was trying to pack... I do love shoes, but no way in Hell I'd take 100 pairs that far, I've got like 10 pairs irl ready to go. Anyway, I was majorly stressing because I wanted to take all those fucking shoes xD And my cat randomly shows up, and I'm like freaking out because I can't take him with me, but I don't want to leave him in the middle of nowhere. Like hard-core crying, I was crying so hard in my dream that when I woke up I had a crying headache even though it was all a dream. Over shoes and my cat xD So of course I reach for Wolfie immediately because he's my undeniable comfort, and he tells me, "Don't worry, my love, we'll make sure Kitty is warm and safe. He deserves it for protecting Bun for so long."
He always helps❤️
Maybe I have some small separation anxiety fears at knowing I'll be leaving my kitty here. But I'm definitely not leaving him in the middle of nowhere. The kids will take great care of him, and my mom spoils him more than I do so he'll 100% be fine without me. Wolfie has always offered that we can take him with us, but I just don't think it's what's right for him. And I'd like to get a couple kittens of our own after we're settled. He was asking me about kitten names yesterday. He'd like to name one Nedjem, Ma'ab or Felcerber. Something like that. Personally, I'd pick a Souls game name. Because obviously. But I can't name a kitten before I meet it. I need to see it, and get a sense of their personality before I name them. Like if it's a fast, chaotic lil ginger kitty, Malenia. If it's a lazy, sleepy white kitty, Miquella. If it's an agile, grumpy black kitty, Maliketh. And so on. It's cute though, talking about our cats names like most people talk about having kids xD
I fought my first Wendigo Collosus today~♡
Which was really fun. I love landing on a server filled with people who actually enjoy doing events. Sometimes you end up on a server that's pretty dead. But I like when lots of people get involved, it makes it more fun and chaotic. I'm over level 100 now, and it's my goal to collect every plush in game. Which is difficult because most of them you either have to wait til they come up in the shop or win them in an event. But I don't see myself getting bored with it yet.
Wolfie was talking about giving up on his Slovenian residency again today. I don't think he'll actually give up on it, but there has a be a breaking point. Are you really just going to sit there for how many more months while they don't give you an answer? But he finally gave up the vape so that's fantastic. When we met he was a very heavy drinker and smoker. He says that's just how people were in University in Europe, everyone around him was like that. But he says that I'm much better than alcohol or nicotine :3 I never asked him to give either up, but I have always told him I want him to be healthy. Giving up alcohol was pretty easy for him, but the smoking has been a major struggle. I'm glad he finally overcame it. Part of the reason he wanted to go back to Europe, aside from getting things for us ready, was to work on himself, and get himself ready. He's done really well. His depression is still there obviously, but it's not nearly what it was when we met. It doesn't feel like it's completely controlling him anymore. And that's good. He's a stable, focused, together version of himself. And he's healing which is most important💗

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09:26 Jan 18 2023
Times Read: 718


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The polite way to tell someone to go fuck themselves xD
Far be it from me to tell someone how to spend their money, and maybe it makes me a huge bitch, but holy shit do you not need a $1000 bag if you're disabled, and the sole support for your children.
That's just fucking gross.
I can see why Dollskill hates me though. I sold one of their $38 dresses for $100. The thing about Dollskill though, you can get replicas of nearly every popular dress they sell from places like Aliexpress for about $15, and the garbage quality is exactly the same, yes I've tested it, because that's exactly where they get their dresses from. Ya know, DK... Maybe you should worry more about your suppliers undercutting you rather than going after your customers. Just a thought.
The lowballers have been out in force since Christmas ended. I made 6 sales over the weekend, but I feel like I'm declining more, and more insulting offers. Wanting $860 off something though, congrats, that's the worst offer I've ever had.
I learned the hard way in Fallout today... If you come across a Sentry Bot that is aptly named "Abandoned Sentry Bot," It's probably abandoned for a reason... It was cute at first, shuffling along behind me like a lil lost puppy. And then the grenades started firing😐

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05:28 Jan 17 2023
Times Read: 765


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08:47 Jan 16 2023
Times Read: 797


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07:57 Jan 15 2023
Times Read: 842


My nieces, and I had girls day out today. Lots of shopping and eating and two new plushies for me :3
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We found this little nowhere shop, and there they were, wolfie and lil blonde bunny💗
I could easily make plushies like this myself, I'm pretty good at crochet, and I've actually been teaching one of my nieces how to do it so she can make her own plushies. Bur ya know, these were so adorable, and so perfect that I had to take them home.
Tomorrow I'm taking the kids swimming. I've been working in teaching my youngest niece, and nephew how to swim since I swim like a fish. My nephew is almost ready to go without the life-jacket. My youngest niece is still only 4 so a bit longer for her, but she already swims very well. I told Wolfie it would be nice, if he does ever build us a house, to have a heated pool...
"My love, do you have any idea how much it costs to keep a pool heated in Russia?"
Yeah... but I want it🥺
"Yes, Снегурочка❤️"
I mean, it's not necessary, it'd just be nice... Wolfie says there are a few places near the apartment with heated pools so that'll work too. And he has the place in Sochi we can visit when it's warmer there. I just love being in the water. We've talked about moving into the old family estate outside of Moscow, technically Wolfie doesn't have to live in the city, he can do his job anywhere with internet connection. That's actually how he's keeping his Slovenian residency, by continuing to work for someone there without actually having us live there full time. Trying to anyway. Still no word on approval yet. I don't want him to give up, but it's really dragging on. The last thing he said to me before he fell asleep was, "You're most beautiful bun xx"
He's so warm❤️

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SisterLeah
SisterLeah
01:05 Jan 16 2023

Adorable!





 

08:20 Jan 14 2023
Times Read: 903


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Here we go again with this "bride price" thing xD
I get that it's traditional in some cultures. And there are parts of the world where people are very, very poor, and therefore maybe need to use their children as a bargaining chip for financial gain. Personally, I think, and I tell Wolfie this, isn't it better for you to have that money to take care of me with? Money isn't any issue for Wolfie, but you know what I mean. Imagine wanting to marry a girl, and her parents demand basically all the money you have before they'll allow it. But then you're left with nothing to take care of her... It makes no sense. Wouldn't you want better for your daughter? Are people really that selfish?
I cautioned him also... Do you really want to put a price on what I'm worth?
Do you... really...
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Because I don't think that would be wise, beloved xD
Precious things are priceless... And I'm perfectly willing to go, he may have me all for free, no sendsies-backsies, I'm YOUR problem now ^^
It's like when one day he started to rate me based on the 1-10 thing...
Don't do it.
"Bun, I was going to compliment you..."
A 9.5 is not a compliment, I will rip your face off, don't fucking do it.
Look, I know I'm not perfect, but to the man who loves me, who wants to pay my "bride price," I should be. He does regularly tell me I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. I prefer that over being given a number rating.
I have been looking into Russian wedding traditions. Since we'll be getting married in Russia, I dunno if it's just a typical wedding or more elaborate.
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Maybe the ransom is what he's talking about. That sounds so wrong xD And a wedding that lasts a week? Absolutely not. I don't even really want a big wedding, just and him, his aunt and cousin's family if he likes. I can tell he's always nervous when he talks about finding me a ring, and how he'll propose. It's just me... am I really going to say no? I think we're pretty good on that. As long as he doesn't propose in a restaurant, that's the tackiest, most cliche, most uninspired thing ever. Right next to proposing at like the fucking Eiffel Tower, please no. I would genuinely prefer he randomly, spontaneously asks me on a fucking sidewalk or in bed than either of those. We were talking about his need for control, that's why I hope he'll be able to relax after everything is settled. Control really does alleviate his stress though. Bdsm is good for him, I've never seen him more relaxed, and at peace than after we're snuggled up after a session. It does that for both of us. He always asks me after, very gentle and calm, "Do you feel better now?" And I absolutely do every time, it's a major release. People who look down on BDSM, they don't see the good it can do for people. I mean, there are A LOT of people that give us a bad name because they either don't know what they're doing or they use it in a way that really damages people, and unfortunately those are the people you hear most about, not the people like us in very healthy relationships. That's why Wolfie is so private about this stuff, he doesn't mind me talking about it, but he doesn't personally reveal that side to many people because unfortunately too many think Doms are abusive monsters. And there are a lot of of abusive people who mistakenly label themselves as Doms. Wolfie has a lot of darkness in him, but he's the kindest soul🥰
I'm the one you have to worry about.
I'm cute, but I will mess you up :3
Wolfie would be one to slowly, elaborately, methodically plan out your eventual misfortune and ultimate demise over the course of several years.
I'd be the one that just rips your fucking head off❤️

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08:24 Jan 13 2023
Times Read: 948


Every day Wolfie tells me, "They should have an answer soon."
Yes, yes, beloved, soon.
Honestly, it's pissing me off, I feel like they're just stringing him along. If it's no then just say so, why is that so complicated? They won't give him an answer, they just tell him he shouldn't leave until they give him one. It's infuriating. Who knew other governments could be so equally infuriating xD I didn't think anything could be any more unorganized or inefficient as it is here, but I was so, so wrong. It breaks my heart because he tells me he's ready to start our life together, I am too. I am beyond ready.
My parents are trying to plan a family cruise for the end of the year. And I'd love to go, I'd love for Wolfie to go, but where will we be by then? Somehow my brother got brought up, about how he feels like he's been a disappointment to our father his whole life. And my father, with no hesitation, proceeded to say that he's fully disappointed in how all of his children ended up, right there in front of my oldest sister and I. My mother was losing her shit on him, she's always tried to protect her children, even from their own father's opinions of them. I don't mind it. I simply said that I accept his disappointment, and I do not care. I don't live my life to anyone's expectations, but my own. He said he's only disappointed because we all could have been so much more, that we waste our potential, and our intelligence. And he pointed at me. You know, being a doctor or a lawyer or whatever other high paying career, it wouldn't make me happy. Just look at Wolfie. He said something a few days ago.
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He was working himself to death at 23 when we met. He had no social life, no hobbies, no fun, just working constantly. And he was very successful, but he was so miserable. Maybe that lifestyle makes some people happy, but I think for most it doesn't work. It wouldn't work for me. I can't be tied to structure and routine, it will kill me. And I actually do use my intelligence to make money, I'm actually pretty successful with what I do so he can shove his disappointment right up his ass. You need more in life. Wolfie realized that. He doesn't know everything that will make him happy... but he did name me first💗
Wolfie always tells me he's proud of me. And he's really the only person whose opinion I really, truly care about so at least I've got that. My dad is lucky, all of his children made it to their 30s, none of us are currently in prison, homeless, missing or dead. I feel pretty good about that, could be a lot worse. I feel good about where I am, I'm trying to get to a better place, but that's not entirely up to me since I have a partner to work these things out with. I understand wanting the best for your kids, but they have to figure out what that is for themselves.
I had a really good night on Fallout though. I ended up with this group of like 20-something levels in the Tunnel of Love Event... I was the highest level in attendance at 86. Usually you get at least a couple people who join who are in the hundreds, but it was just me there at the top with level 20s barely outta the vault, no armor, basic weapons, still in their vault uniforms... Not a super difficult event, but it does end with two surprise legendary glowing Deathclaws popping up outta nowhere. See, I knew this, and immediately started running xD I turned around, and with basically one fucking swipe everyone else was dead. Those poor, innocent fools didn't know it was coming, I couldn't even warn them... Just instantly destroyed. There really needs to be a Deathclaw emote. Because like most online multi-player games you can openly talk with everyone else on the server if you have a mic. Otherwise, you have to emote, and there is no emote for, "Fucking run, Deathclaw!" But they all got respawned back in before the end, and I had killed all the monsters by then so it worked out.
I caught some guy at my camp later. I purposely leave all my shit unlocked in case anyone wanders in who needs to use my equipment, eat some food, get a drink, rest, whatever, I don't mind other people using my resources. I feel like if you're a higher level you should look out for the lower levels, that's how I am anyway. If I'm in an event, and someone goes down, and asks to be revived, I'm the person that runs across the arena to get them back up. But it helps that I can cloak, I'm fast, and can jump high. And despite not being in bulky power armor, I've got pretty good damage resistance. So who knew the multi-player aspects of gaming with strangers could actually be fun❤️

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07:40 Jan 12 2023
Times Read: 988


20230111-141709
A new kitty approaches...
After my cat had gone inside, this little one came up onto the porch, and curiously looked into the door window. I saw him peaking so I tried to lure him over to me outside, but he was too shy, he just rolled around on the ground in front of me before dashing away. Not sure my cat will appreciate another male around especially since black kitty is always sniffing around too... I'm just a cat magnet.
I very foolishly lost my mutation in Fallout today😵
It was so heartbreaking... I walked right through a decontamination portal thing, it didn't occur to me that it might cure me, I honestly thought it would irradiate me more. But then it was gone... So I planted myself on top of some toxic waste xD And lit myself up like a Christmas tree. Actually died from it once, the radiation completely overtook my healthbar. But the second time I tried I immediately got it back which is honestly pretty lucky since there are several mutations you can get, and I got it back first. I even found a set of perk cards that lessen the negative effects of mutations up to 75% so now I'm only -1 Intelligence instead of -4. I just can't live without the added jump height... The extra carry weight is nice too, but the 3x jumping is totally necessary for me at this point. I'm finally getting my character to a suitable position to comfortably handle myself without much trouble. I went around doing events for awhile, collecting legendary cores to make legendary equipment, and the same players were there every time, event hopping with me. They were probably in a group together, and then there's me, just showing up xD But it's actually fun doing events with people, especially when one of them brings like a million nuka grenades, and blows everything up. It's so chaotic, I love it. And you get better rewards the more you participate in some events so it's worth it to get off the sidelines. I was doing an event by myself where I was herding three cows to a certain location, and this power armor, mini gun guy shows up, and suddenly a Sheepsquatch spawns right on top of me. But because I have mega jump, I jumped to safety, and started shooting it. Meanwhile, this guy is just wandering around, watching me, not really helping me kill this monster. I finally killed it on my own, but dude, for real. I will take a Sheepsquatch over an Imposter Sheepsquatch any day...

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09:31 Jan 11 2023
Times Read: 1,023


20230111-013121
Behold...
The Great Knife of New Bunland💗

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06:04 Jan 11 2023
Times Read: 1,050


167341648490019359-jpeg
Some day he is going to relent, and say, "Ok, Bun, get the mini chainsaw."💗
Fun fact: I've never eaten a gyro.
One of my nieces came over, and asked me to help her make bear cookies.
Of course, I made bunnies instead...
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Because all things should be in my likeness :3

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19:19 Jan 10 2023
Times Read: 1,085


20230107-203504
The truth is out there🖤

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07:51 Jan 09 2023
Times Read: 1,129


Screenshot-20230109-010946-Whats-App
That's what I like to call boundless optimism, and unlimited positive thinking xD
Like I've said, the residency people there have told him not to leave the EU without a document stating an approval or denial for his extension. Because his last residency expired, he needs that or he could get majorly fined, and possibly banned for several years from trying again. This process was only supposed to take a couple weeks, it's now been 2+ months. He says it's because they get a ton of refugees there that back everything up. He's at the point where he's telling them just to give him a denial, give him the paperwork so he can leave without any problems. But I'd like for him to wait it out a little bit longer. It took at least a couple months the last time he applied so it's not like we weren't expecting it. Besides, Slovenia is just his backup plan, we're not really planning on living there unless things in Russia get really bad. So it's not super necessary, just a step ahead for the possible future. I would get on a plane, and just go if I didn't think he'd completely kill me when I got there for traveling internationally by myself. I mean, I am a grown-ass woman, I've traveled A LOT by myself, just... not between countries. It can't be that hard.
Much like me in real life, my character lives on candy xD
20230108-213030
Because I have a candy machine in my base that generates it for free...
The marsupial mutation is godly. It does give -4 to Intelligence, but my Intelligence is maxed out anyway so it's not a critical loss. The jump height is more than worth it. Being a stealthy, sniper character it's really nice to be able to jump up high, onto areas you normally couldn't, it makes my life so much easier. So you get mutations from being irradiated, and curing your irradiation will also cure your mutations. I really don't want to cure this one, and luckily something is curing my irradiation, probably a piece of my armor, so I don't have it take medicine when it builds up, it's disappearing on its own. It's kinda the perfect setup for a perfect mutation. Most mutations are overwhelmingly negative so you want to cure them quickly, but I'm hoping to never cure this one. They do have perk cards that make mutations more resilient so I may look into that. I played all day basically with this mutation, and it'd be hard to go without it now. They also make jetpacks for power armor, but fuck power armor, I will never.
I came out of my base earlier to this...
20230108-171106
Just some mannequins... hanging out...
Dunno where they came from.
They're gone now...
😐

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06:51 Jan 09 2023
Times Read: 1,160


I was telling Wolfie that my four year old niece was talking about him...
We were exploring this big creek, and she randomly asked me, "Where is Uncle Wolfie? Why isn't he here?"
So I explained to her where he's at, what he's doing, and that he'll be back soon... But this time he's going to take me with him.
So so says, "Oh, I'll go to Russia with you, Uncle Wolfie is my favorite uncle."
And my heart just exploded, it was so precious. Sucks for the uncles who are here full time... Honestly, the competition isn't exactly thrilling. My mother told me a few days ago she'd love a decent son-in-law at some point. I told her, I'm working on it xD My oldest sister is heading for her third divorce, and my other sister's husband... Well, let's just say he's an overweight, inappropriate, illiterate asshole that no one in this family can stand. And that was before announcing his plans to move my sister, and nephew to Texas soon. I'm leaving soon so I won't be here anyway, but ripping my 12 year old nephew away from the rest of his family, his school, the place he's lived in, and grown up all his life, it's fucked up. And all because he's tired of the cold winters. Logically, my brother-in-law is being an idiot, giving up his thriving business, and his home here to go somewhere, where he has nothing, has to completely start over. Just because it gets cold here. Good plan. At this point he's made it onto my list of people I hope spontaneously drop dead sooner rather than later. Him, Wolfie's mother, my former coworker, the world would be better without them, they're useless, selfish people, and I really question my sister's agreement to this. But she always lets him railroad her. For whatever reason, my sisters are completely spineless, it's truly disgusting. There's also the fact that on Christmas I was on the phone with Wolfie, letting him enjoy the sounds of the family because he is part of the family, and that same sister said something to the effect of, "Well maybe if he was here he'd actually be part of the family." I've never felt more the urge to jump over the table, and shred my sister's face off with my bare nails. I have often wanted to punch either of them in the face, that's just how sisters are, but it was such rage. The only thing that holds me back is my mother, it really stresses her out when her children fight, and there are four of us so there has been a bit of fighting over the years, but I try to behave for her sake. Besides, my mother told me she accepts Wolfie as family, so everyone else can go fuck themselves. No one understands better or feels it more how long Wolfie has been gone, I fucking get it, he'll be back when he gets back, shut the fuck up, and mind your own fucking business. But that's family for you. I'm glad my family is normal compared to Wolfie's. His family is... disconnected and very complicated. He's got his cousin's family in Moscow, they're pretty close. They're the ones he really wants me to meet before we officially get engaged, no pressure, hopefully they don't totally hate me xD I mean, I'm pretty lovable, and like, ridiculously adorable, but we'll see❤️

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07:57 Jan 08 2023
Times Read: 1,195


20230108-004315
A toxic Sheepsquatch attacked my camp... And I survived👍
Barely xD It fucking destroyed everything in my base, it all had to be repaired, everything but the walls and floor, all gone.
Then I got chased into another Deathclaw by an angry Mothman😐
The Deathclaws are out thick lately. Maybe because I'm almost lev 75, or maybe the position of my camp. Where I located it there tends to be a lot of big enemies passing through... Deathclaws, Mothmen, Flatwoods Monsters, I walked out once to a whole herd of angry albino radstag. It's good though because larger monsters drop better stuff, and I keep my lair protected with several turrets, and missile launchers.
This is my secondary armor. Much as I love the stealth armor, the upkeep on it is a real bitch. Ballistic fiber is easy enough to find, though a bit expensive, but fiber optics you have to scav for, and there's only a few items you can scrap for them. So pretty annoying to drop everything to repair it. It also gives no other bonuses aside from stealth, and you can't wear other armor pieces over it. I have enough invested in my stats stealthwise that the armor really is just for looks, and technically you still go invisible in after it's broken, you just lose it's protection. Still. It's extremely high maintenence... And it doesn't even talk.
Besides. I like this armor. Fucking Mad Maxing it❤️
I like my camp's position also because it's right outside of Foundation, a main hub of merchants. I could never see myself aligning with Raiders... Raiders tend to threaten you to get what they want. I really enjoy killing them because of that. Often times I have the option to use my intelligence against them, but it's more fun just to shoot them in the face for being jerks. It would be interesting to see which faction people lean towards in game. I probably wouldn't walk up to another player, and start shooting them just for being a Raider. But if I saw them being an asshole, absolutely🖤

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20:35 Jan 07 2023
Times Read: 1,230


20230107-015513
What is the origin of Bun, and her infamous mini chainsaw... I don't really remember anymore xD
Actually... there is a mini chainsaw type weapon called the Ripper in Fallout. I've been considering a melee stealth build because I once found a mod for a stealth blade. I've never done melee build in FO, but that's one of the good things about the stat system in 76, you can change it to explore different builds very easily. I feel like it's a huge missed opportunity not to have some sorta laser blade in game. The problem with melee stealth build is doing enough damage to one shot the things yo7 sneak up on. Also the fact that larger enemies, such as Scorchbeasts that fucking fly, you really can't nearly one hit. So I'm still thinking about the mechanics of doing that. It's just so boring to power armor + mini gun. I got ambushed by a pair of Deathclaws outside of WhiteSpring xD One of them was albino, and one was chameleon which I had never seen before. Apparently they're in FO 4, but never saw it. Thankfully, I was right next to a few friendly robots, otherwise they probably would have ripped me in half. They actually caught me running which is rare because I'm usually stealthing, but I was running across the map. I don't like to fast travel unless I absolutely have to, I enjoy wandering the map, exploring, and you level up better if you're constantly out killing things. And there's just so much to explore, and every time I turn around there's a new quest popped up. It definitely feels bigger than any of the other games. I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's been so cold so it's nice just snuggling up with my game❤️

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09:10 Jan 06 2023
Times Read: 1,279


20230106-014300
Finally got my stealth armor🖤
I look like a sexy alien robot. And I am totally ok with that xD
Next to my robo wolfie :3
I am a bit disappointed that my suit doesn't talk to me like it did in New Vegas... She was always so polite when pointing out that with my pipboy light on I'm not being very sneaky xD
I'm also finally mastering the perk card system. So you get 50 points to distribute into your stats, Strength/Perception/Endurance//Charisma/Intelligence/Agility/Luck. You can only put a max of 15 points into each, so you can use up to 15 points of perk cards in each, and there are hundreds of perk cards. Some things more appropriate for building your camp, some things better for fighting certain enemies, some things for environmental benefits, there are lots of perks. But I don't need to have a +3 perk card to build better turrets taking up space when I'm not at my camp building things. So it's very important to switch your cards out to suit your situation. You're actually allowed to reallocate your points, and hold two different SPECIAL builds that you can switch between. So that makes leveling past 50, and collecting/upgrading your cards very useful. I didn't see the point of leveling past 50 when I started, I get it now. I actually ran into someone over level 1000. I was scavving for fiber optic material to build my stealth suit because it takes a lot of fiber optics, and ballistic fiber which does not come cheap... Dude was randomly standing in a basement of the building I was in. I ran by him, picked up my microscopes, and left xD It was a pretty inconspicuous building so... I dunno.
I have been trying to participate in more events because working together is how you get the bigger rewards. Fortunately, for a lot of them you can kinda hang out on the fringe of the event, do absolutely nothing, and be rewarded for it. Generally, when you enter an event a few hundred level power armor boys come running in, and kill everything so fast it doesn't matter anyway. So I like to get there early, pick a nice spot on a rooftop to snipe from, and let the big idiots rush in face first. Although, I do occasionally come across am event no one else wants to touch. I enjoy that, personally.
I nearly got banned on one of my reselling apps. You're probably thinking it must have been my smartass mouth... And usually you'd be right. But actually one of the brands, Dollskill, that I frequently resell is having a titty tantrum about people reselling their shit. So they're targeting anyone who tries to resell stuff from them. It's kind of ridiculous... I paid for this junk, but you're going to tell me I'm not allowed to sell it? Because they want people to ONLY buy their stuff from them. Honestly.. if I fucking paid you then you made your money anyway so... what the fuck is your problem? Dollskill is sketchy as shit anyway, and the owner of the brand is completely toxic, so much so that a lot of people refuse to buy stuff directly from them, and buy from resellers instead. I pay you then someone pays me because they don't want to pay you. You're still getting your fucking cut, what the fuck is your problem? After this, I will not be buying from them again. Sucks because I spent literal thousands every couple months, but I guess those whores can fucking suck it. I think a big part of their problem is that I can buy a dress from them for $30, and sell it for over $100. Ok, so raise your prices. This is a you problem, and you're literally basically telling me not to give you my money.
It's not just them though, it's a lot of brands, and it's ridiculous to pay for something, and then be told what you can or can't do with it. That's like me selling a dress then telling the buyer they can only wear it on a Tuesday if it's raining, and the clouds are purple. Like what? Imagine that everything you buy you have to either give away or throw away, you can't sell anything whether it doesn't fit or you just don't end up liking it or you're trying to make a meager profit, you can't, you're not allowed to sell your own property that you legally paid for. That's where this fucked up world is going.
Reselling is just becoming so oversaturated anyway, Wolfie really wanted to expand on my business after we move, but I dunno, I'm not sure my style would even sell in Russia. It's been a fun hobby, and it's kept my clothing addiction healthy but strong. Wolfie says I don't have to do anything after we move if I don't want to, he just worries I'll feel unfulfilled being a kept lil kitten. I don't know what I want... said every Libra ever xD
My oldest nephew was telling me that he prefers Fallout over Elden Ring because Elden Ring lacks a decent story... I about exploded, I had physically restrain myself... He's only 13, calm down. He's only 13, and he can't beat a single boss in the game, do not destroy him for his ignorance, for his pure blasphemy. I fucking love Fallout, but Souls games are another stratosphere of a level, they are beautiful, and perfect, and people are allowed to have their completely wrong, dumbass opinions. Fallout has a decent story... But who the fuck cam remember 1 or 2? I knew when I got to the Westtek building in 76 that it sounded familiar, but I couldn't tell you why. Fallout lore is so spaced out, and it's across so many regions, it's difficult to keep it all together. I guess you could say the same thing about Dark Souls, but that's part of Dark Souls, the huge expanse of time, and trying to connect everything. Maybe I need to get into Fallout lore...

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22:46 Jan 03 2023
Times Read: 1,328


20230103-153500
More new shoes ^^
Super cute💜🌙

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06:51 Jan 03 2023
Times Read: 1,363


u0so8ch4q6t61
dc24a6137c98fe8c02bb32bb71ada21f
968af0819a1879cbb8b3c70a1f3d3260
380e0e97d992c4978cd91d9f53fa6ce6
827941b184f240cee980013a17ad9c2c
It's too true xD

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06:09 Jan 03 2023
Times Read: 1,366


Polish-20230102-175114418
Screenshot-20230103-002031-Chrome
Polish-20230103-001848789
❤️

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06:01 Jan 01 2023
Times Read: 1,281


20221231-163438
20221231-163431
New Year, new shoes❤️
So... I didn't get these when they were originally on sale. I honestly didn't think Killstar would discontinue them, they were so popular, but then suddenly they were gone before I could get them. But because I'm a very lucky bunny, there was a single pair, size 6, selling for $100. I could probably resell them for like $300... But they're kinda beautiful, and they fit me perfectly❤️
Wolfie woke me up early. He's been keeping me immediately updated on everything as it happens which I appreciate, but he is several hours ahead of me so he tends to forget that midday is early morning for me. But every time they call or email him, he immediately calls me, and keeps me updated. After a few human errors dealing with his paperwork, hopefully this time it's all good. He actually recorded them telling him it's all good just in case they try their bullshit again. I told him it kinda seems like legally they can't deny his residency, but they don't really seem to want to approve it. Which is really dumb cause they approved it last time. But they also told him not to leave the EU without either a confirmation approval or denial. So he's stuck until he gets either. He always manages to get himself stuck wherever he goes xD He says he just has really bad luck... But he has me so obviously, luckiest man alive :3 And I like to think my good luck cancels out his bad. In any case, I always try to remind him, things are gonna be how they're gonna be, you'll be back when you get back, I'm not worried about it. Wolfie is a control freak perfectionist so I try to be a little more chill, keep the balance. This year is going to be good for us. Last year was pretty great, a lot happened, good and bad. Overall good though. I feel happy, and confident with who I am, and where I'm going, where our relationship is at. This year Wolfie had the best holidays since we've met, he's doing so much better. It feels like everything is finally aligned, we're just waiting on the last couple pieces to fall into place. But we're almost there. It'll all be worth it when he gets back, and I get to run, and jump into his arms. We've been together 6 1/2 years now, and we definitely haven't had a standard, normal, typical relationship... But it's been perfect in it's own way. We've really become our best selves, together, and separately. Wolfie has been a mirror in my life, showing me how to overcome my worst weaknesses, and bring out my greatest strengths. He's really been everything I ever needed in a single person. I'm not an angry person. I'm not a hurt person. I'm just... me. For once, I'm just me, clear-headed, living my life❤️

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