Honor: 127 [ Give / Take ]
42 entries this month
07:50 Nov 30 2021
Times Read: 41
Just when you thought I was going to go all this time without buying new shoes...
I can explain xD
Killstar's Cyber Monday sale is still going strong, and it's the best I've ever seen. These are $140 boots, and they were selling them for £38, roughly $50.
And then I saw these for £7 each.
I've really hit the jackpot on homewares. The trouble will be shipping everything to Slovenia, but to be fair all this stuff comes from the UK so it's like, it can cross the ocean again I'm sure. I've actually never received a broken item from Killstar's UK warehouse, it's kind of shocking, their stuff is very sturdy, and beautiful so I highly recommend it. If the mirror makes it then I'll be even more impressed.
And then because I have the skirt, backpack, and hat I decided to snag the jacket while it was super discounted.
Because why not?
I was talking with a coworker earlier tonight. She was showing me this gold chain she bought to wear her wedding ring on, and telling me it cost over $2000. And I told her, look, it's nice to have savings, but you should be able to spend some of your money. You should be able to have fun without feeling guilty about it. Her husband is dead, she wanted something nice to wear the ring on so why not? Personally I thought it was pretty ugly, but I don't like gold so. But she likes it, and it's holding a precious memory so why not? I mean, I spend a lot of money on clothes, that's no secret. But clothes make me happy. And clothes are my business. So what do I need $10,000 in my bank account for? I've still got several thousand in there even after major splurging. My bills are paid, my passport is paid, I'm still slightly responsible xD
What I'm really waiting on are these...
They haven't released these yet. They just released a bunch of pastel shit, but these weren't part of that release. So... these are coming. Right, Killstar? You... You have to give me these. And they'll go fast too so I'm watching, ready to pounce.
04:15 Nov 30 2021
Times Read: 67
I really didn't feel like going to work today. But I still did because I'm stubborn. Pretty sure I'm not contagious, it's all up in my sinuses. No fever, no trouble breathing, no fatigue. I don't feel bad honestly other than all the grossness in my sinuses. And of course I'm losing my voice so people are looking at me like I have the plague. My boss told me I didn't need to work if I wasn't feeling up to it, but like I said, other than being super congested, I'm fine. This guy came in right before close that gave me really bad vibes... I don't know what it was about him, but he gave me this super uncomfortable feeling. I mean, he was polite, and everything so I had no reason to feel that way, but my intuition was very unsettled by him.
I was right in my prediction that Wolfie wouldn't be in a good mood today. We barely spoke, but from his tone I knew not to poke at him. I just... I get wanting to respect the dead, but if it's going to trigger a massive emotional meltdown, maybe skip it. He does these things, and it frustrates me because he knows what it's going to do to him. I think your grandparents will forgive you for not visiting their graves. Mourning the dead in general is just something I don't do. If I were dead I wouldn't want people visiting my grave just to cry, and feel like shit. Go live your lives people. I hope I'm gone off doing better things than worrying, so who's gonna visit me today? But that's just me. If it makes him feel better in some way then fine, but it kinda seems like it makes him feel really bad, and then he starts talking about how everyone around him suffers and dies, and he feels like he's cursed. To which I then remind him, hey, good news, everyone dies eventually, so it's totally not you xD And I hate to break it to him, but this entire fucking planet is cursed, we're all fucked, may as well embrace it, and keep going as long as you can. Try to find some amount of happiness instead of constantly dwelling on everything around you that's wrong. I blame his depression mostly for the dwelling, but this whole thing was just silly. Now would be a really good time for his card to come in, right almighty Universe? Nudgenudge~♡
The Universe did bless me with these though.
See. I was going to buy the during the Black Friday sale, but something told me to wait... And now instead of getting them for 35% off, I got them for over 70% off.
I also got myself another new backpack xD
The bag, and the hat were only £25, and I already have the skirt so I couldn't resist.
But. My adorable pink Cthulhu came in today.
Along with many other things I bought last week. I've still got orders coming in from KS, HT and DK. I've got a ton of new stuff to sell, and finally got my sales from the end of last week shipped off. I hate unreasonable buyers. Buyers who act like you're a scammer when you don't ship their shit within 24 hours. Like, dude, do you realize that I don't get paid until your stuff is confirmed delivered? So it doesn't really make sense for me to purposely not ship it out as long as I can. Do people think of these things? Nah. I was the villain all along, I specifically told the post office to deliver your package as slow as possible just to piss you off, and hold up my money. I don't know why I would do that, but clearly I did. Mwahaha?
01:06 Nov 29 2021
Times Read: 96
Finally had time to make some headway in Hollow Knight. Beat the big magical bug, and the three. Now I'm at a point where I can't do much without the double jump. Problem is... I can't remember where that boss was at. I tried beating him earlier, and could get him down three times, but ended up dying so after several attempts I moved on. Now I need to get back there. I wanna say he was in Ancient Basin. That's one thing I really like about this game, even if you can't get past something right away there are other places to explore so you don't really get stuck. The bosses aren't necessarily hard, they just take learning. I love waking up, and realizing I don't have to be at work til 4 now xD It's just inconvenient going in earlier, I have other things I like to do with my day, but when I work by the time I get home I'm too tired, and completely unmotivated. So now since I'm permanently on evening shift I need to get back into my routine, especially jogging, eating healthy. I've been slacking since I started working, but this week I'm determined to change that. I'm actually only working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week so I'll have lots of free time to spend with Wolfie. He said he planned to go to his hometown tomorrow to visit the cemetery where his grandparents/great-grandparents were buried. I hope it doesn't trigger him into a meltdown, and honestly with the strong possibility that it will trigger him being a reality I don't see why he feels the need to do it, but he said he owes it to them. His cousin, and nephew visited him again today though, and I love seeing him reconnect with his family, it makes me feel like moving to Russia may be better for him. He says it's not the right time to move there though if we can move to Europe first. He seems genuinely happy though, and that definitely makes me happy. Wolfie's family isn't all bad, mostly it's his parents that are completely toxic, and they're easily dealt with. I want him to have his family though, it's good for him, he needs it. Still hoping we hear about his card this week, maybe if we're really lucky it'll be at the embassy tomorrow. Hey, I can hope xD My Killstar, and Fantasmagoria orders should be coming in tomorrow. I love Fantasmagoria, less than €25 for shipping, and it'll be here in less than a week, that's pretty great. Cyber Monday is also tomorrow, but I dunno if I really need anything else... I spent over $1000 last week, but $220 of that was on my passport alone so it wasn't all clothes, and I'm pretty sure none of it was shoes xD
04:49 Nov 28 2021
Times Read: 141
I have a massive sinus infection. I woke up yesterday feeling like my head was going to explode. That feeling has since gone away, but my sinuses are still really scratchy. So I've spent most of the day hopped up on Benadryl in bed. But I got to spend the day with Wolfie still. I noticed something a few days ago while we were on video though... When we first met he was a very heavy smoker. I never demanded that he quit or anything. I told him I didn't like it, and so he decided to quit. But he couldn't just give it up. He tried, but he was incredibly cranky for months. So eventually he got a vape. Most people will tell you that vaping isn't any better than smoking, but vaping wouldn't leave that gross cigarette smell all over me, and our things so I didn't give him a hard time about it, he was trying, he even used stuff with zero nicotine in it because he said the action of smoking was what relaxed him, not the nicotine. So he's been on a vape for a few years. But I noticed a few days ago that I hadn't seen him using it that day, and I actually hadn't seen him using it in awhile. He said he left his vape in Slovenia, purposely to try, and give it up now since I'm supposed to be moving in soon. Sure, he could easily buy another one, but he's super motivated to completely quit. Such proud bunny ^^ When we met he was that typical drinker, smoker, partier, and now he's completely flipped around. He was only 24 when we met, and he had just gotten done with his Bachelor's in college so it's not necessarily surprising how he lived. He always says he wants to be a better man for me, it's like he can't see how amazing he already is. We need this stupid card to come in. If they start shutting things down again it's going to break my heart, he needs to get back. It's stressing me just a bit thinking about this dragging on a few more months. His lawyer told him yesterday that everything is fine, it should be there soon, we just need to be patient. I have been... extremely patient with all of this, the whole ordeal, I just want him back, that's absolutely the only thing I want.
Meanwhile, shopping is really helping me take my mind off of things xD
Would you believe that the whole order started with that moon bunny necklace? And then I was like, well, those bracelets would look cute if I hang them off my LO backpack.
And my last UV dress finally made it here.
I'm so over Unique Vintage, I will never buy from them again. I'm glad I finally got all my dresses, I don't think I'm going to be petty enough to return them as tempting as it is, they'll just resell it to someone else, and I'll be out money shipping it back because unlike most reputable large online shops they don't offer free returns. Yet another reason to never do business with them. And I spend thousands of dollars on clothes a year so... To be fair, I'm only ever interested in UV when their Halloween collection rolls out, and you can buy most of what they sell elsewhere for cheaper so no big loss there. I don't even want to try to calculate how much money I blow on clothes xD Probably $10,000-20,000 a year, but some people spend that much on a single dress so it's really not that bad. Wolfie was telling me the other day, "You know, little queen, I'm not mega rich, I'm no Bill Gates." And I'm like, yeahhhh, but as long as you can take care of us... and occasionally buy me cute shoes then I'll be happy xD And he's saying this while he's casually snacking on caviar because apparently Russia has the best caviar, but I'm not really a fan. I don't like seafood in general, I especially don't understand the frenzy for crab and lobster, but Wolfie is always like, no, let me feed you the best. I would straight trade an entire lobster for a 10 pack of chicken nuggets though so xD
Anyway, the dress is gorgeous, I bought it while I was going through that, I'm going to wear longer dresses to look more like an adult phase. It lasted about 2 days before I realized, oh wait, I'm hot, I still look like I'm 18 so I can probably pull off mini skirts for another 20-30 years.
Now I'm going to complain. So I made a couple sales the night before Thanksgiving, obviously too late to drop them off. Then I was at my brother's house til Friday evening, and then I was sick. But these motherfuckers are already bitching to me, "So were you actually planning on shipping the stuff I paid for because I don't see anything tracking." Like... are you for real? It was a major holiday. A lot of people travel during major holidays. If you're buying something a day or two within a major holiday, and expecting it to ship within a couple days, get fuckin real you entitled piece of shit. Now I almost always ship same/next day, but sometimes I have a life, sometimes I don't feel like dragging my ass outta bed before noon to make it to the post office on a Saturday. The best part is that the stuff she bought from me was damaged, a skirt with a broken zipper, and a dress with a hole in it... Sounding real desperate for busted up shit that I was pretty much giving away for free. Makes me want to cancel her order, but if she can settle her ass down I'd be happy to ship on Monday. In my opinion, if somebody hasn't shipped something within like 7 days, then you should complain, but the weekend after a major national holiday? Go fuck yourself.
I also missed out on the Killstar werewolf.
But I'm not really torn up about it. It's not very cute, if it had been cute then I would have been very upset. If it had been cute with green eyes then I would actually cried. But this I can live without. I got the pink Cthulhu so I'm satisfied with that. A lot of Killstar's Kreeptures aren't exactly great looking, need I mention the awful Hades they did... And then they'll do the same ones in 10 different colors. Do we really need a whole fuckin rainbow of Baphomet plushies when you could be doing anything else more interesting?
06:31 Nov 27 2021
Times Read: 169
Got my passport stuff all worked out so the new one should be here within a few weeks. That's one major stress off my mind. I dunno why it was stressing me out so much, I guess because I've known that I needed to renew it for awhile now, but just refused to go do it. You have to remember, up until a few months ago I was expecting to go back to Denver with Wolfie, and on to Europe eventually. I'm glad we're going ahead, and getting it done now, but it is a huge process, something I have to continually remind Wolfie of. He's just getting extremely impatient, and he's letting it super stress him out. He still hasn't received his card yet, and despite it only being sent out 8 days ago, he's already assuming the worst, that they're going to make him start everything all over again. I would think that even if it did get lost in the mail surely they'd either send him another one or have him go pick it up in person. I wouldn't think he'd have to file, and get approved again, but who fuckin knows. But since my passport may take up to a couple months to get to me there's really no rush. Obviously I want him back here more than anything, but I want to go with him when he leaves, I don't want to do this back and forth thing anymore. He said he'll be free to stay here as long as I need, but I don't want it to be months, I don't want him to be held up that long waiting on me.
Something really cute happened earlier though. I spent last night at my brother's house so the kids all decided to spend the night at my house tonight. So Wolfie called me to talk on video before he went to bed. While we were talking, all the kids were around me trying to get Uncle Wolfie's attention, and he got a call, and starts very seriously rambling on the phone in German. Because to the outside world he's a very serious person. But the kids... They were being so loud. And I didn't know if he had muted us or not so I was commanding them to be quiet. Yeahhhh... That doesn't really work with them. So I tell them, ya know, if there's ever a monster hunting us, and we all have to be quiet to survive, we are all going to die because you guys are incapable of being quiet xD And Wolfie had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud, it was adorable. I dunno, just seeing him laugh, and smile makes me so happy. The guy who he was on the phone with was the one who has been working on the apartments in Slovenia. Like I said, there are two apartments on the top floor that are separated with a patio in between, and Wolfie had talked to him about covering it in glass so the kitties can safely go out onto it, and maybe keep some flowers out, and we can sit out on it, watch the rain, drink tea. I suddenly feel super old, like, I just want a covered porch to drink my tea on with my husband xD He said we can meet with the guy once we get there, and talk about any changes I'd like. He really wants everything to be perfect for me. The kids are not taking me leaving very well. Even the oldest, my 12 year old nephew is like, um, no, you can't leave us xD He was cracking me up tonight though because there's this big middle school dance next Friday, and he forgot to ask his girlfriend to go so he texts her, and she doesn't respond for like 15 minutes. He totally flips out, starts texting her friends trying to find out why she isn't responding, and I'm just like, you know... Desperation, and insecurity are not something most women want out of a man. You need to be confident, grab her, and tell her she's yours. And of course after I say that they're all asking me, "Is that what Uncle Wolfie said to you?" Hmm, kinda, but not really. Wolfie is always conflicted. The Dom in him wants to grab me, and remind me who I belong to. The lover in him wants me to have my freedom while he nurtures me. It has always been difficult for him to balance both sides. Mostly I was giving my nephew a hard time because their middle school romance is so dramatic. He'll probably be "dating" her best friend within a couple weeks. Ah, the trials of love before you even know what love is. But hey, it took me a long time to figure it out. I've got it this time❤
03:32 Nov 25 2021
Times Read: 213
I'm gonna buy this for Wolfie...
It's a potato :3 See, Wolfie is always saying he looks like a potato. Which is really silly. Potatoes are small, and stubby, and round. Wolfie is very tall and thin. Pretty much the opposite. But... This is so cute. And Wolfie loves cute things. One reason why he loves me so much.
I'm also getting this for Wolfie...
Yep, totally, absolutely for him xD
But these are 100% all for me.
I know I said no more shoes, but pink, and plaid, and spikey, all my weaknesses combined. Well, ok, it would better if they were red/black, but pink is also very nice.
Work was surprisingly busy, but now I'm off til Monday. I still need to make fudge for tomorrow before bed. My cheesecake turned out perfectly as usual. Wolfie is also holding up well. Usually during the holidays his emotional state plummets... But since he's no longer speaking to his mother, that's probably what's helping a lot. Obviously they're not celebrating American Thanksgiving in Russia so that might be helping too, and his cousin visited him a couple days ago. No word yet on his residency card, I was really hoping it would come in this week. I'm just extremely anxious about everything, and I know he's feeling restless as well. While I was at work he was texting me, telling me he couldn't sleep because he was worried about me. He worries a lot. If we could just find some stability. I feel like we're so close to getting there. Everything will be fine, it just takes time. He's always so frustrated by how long the paperwork is taking, but that's pretty much any government with paperwork, you just have to wait and see. At least we're headed in the right direction, everything is submitted, and approved, it's up to the postal system now. Yeah... We might be doomed xD
18:20 Nov 24 2021
Times Read: 242
Black Friday might be my favorite holiday🖤
I just... want everything xD Pink, and red, and Black, and velvet, and latex, and fluffy, everything🖤
05:36 Nov 24 2021
Times Read: 264
Today was officially my last day on the afternoon shift. They are doing regular hours next week, but I'm working all evenings so I'm happy about that. It's not that I'm lazy, I just hate having to be out of bed before noon xD Especially when it's cold, that's the worst. But since they fired boy wonder, I now get to work evenings. Although... I'll kinda miss walking to work, and stopping to get my mid-day blueberry fritter. Wolfie's right, I am addicted to sugar, I'm a sugar bun. I've asked him to put me on a strict diet when we get back, but there's a really good cafe by the apartment... He's gonna turn his back for 30 seconds, and I'll be gone. He'll find me 10 minutes later in that cafe, shoving my face full of cake xD He has some... interesting ideas for motivating, rewarding, and punishing me. He's just as bad, he loves junk food as much as me, he's just a lot better at controlling himself. He denies his impulses, I live by mine. If he wants something, he mulls it over for about 1000 years. If I want something, I get it. I understand being responsible, and prepared, but there's fun too. Fun is good. Wolfie is lotsa fun when he allows himself to relax. And I understand why he's so controlled, and guarded, I know he needs it, and I know why he needs it, but it's nice seeing him lose some of that seriousness from time to time. Like I can always tell when a really dirty thought immediately enters his brain, he has a very particular subtle look that crosses his face every time. Usually I can even tell exactly the thought he's having. And then he smiles, and his smile just lights up everything in my entire universe. It makes me unreasonably happy just seeing him smile. I am so freakin in love with him.
00:56 Nov 24 2021
Times Read: 298
Wolfie got his second passport today ^^ But... his card hasn't come in yet. They said that they shipped it so hopefully it'll be there by the end of the week. That's one big thing out of the way at least, and once he has the card he'll be clear to leave pending a clean covid test. I feel like I can't relax until he's back. I got so nervous though when he was telling me about getting the passport, and being one step closer. Good nervous though, butterflies. It's just that he's been gone almost two years, and even though we've spoken most every day since he left, it's still been awhile, it's going to be a lot of emotions getting him back here. But all good. I've just been trying to restrain my excitement because usually when I get excited things fall through xD I'm trying not to think about it, there is much shopping to do, and much food to make and eat. This is the only day of the year that I make the most amazing cheesecake ever so I need complete concentration, I can't be distracted by thoughts of my incredibly attractive boyfriend's arms around me, and lips on me, and... yeah. I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm focused, I swear xD
Look. Two years is a long time to go without certain enjoyable physical things. Sure, there are still things you can do over the phone or on video, but it doesn't ever replace the real thing. And it's not even just sex, it's physical intimacy of any kind. We recently put up bunkbeds for the kids in my gaming room, and I told him, you know we're going to get a mountain of snacks, my ps4, and make a fort out of those bunk beds... And stay there for like a week xD Because as much as I love art, and wine, and being cultured, and sophisticated with him, I also love just being silly with him, having fun, being weird and random. Eating way too much sugar, snuggling, and playing video games. Along with extremely heavy, disgusting making out... He's the only person who has ever really enjoyed doing everything with me.
And maybe the thought of him squished into a bunk bed amuses me just a bit... They're normal sized beds, but he's so tall, and he likes to stretch out so he doesn't quite fit into normal sized places.
That sounds so dirty😐
The problem is that Wolfie hates to stay in hotels which is usually fine because he knows someone pretty much anywhere on the planet with an apartment or a house or somewhere he can stay. But here it's just me, and he definitely doesn't fit into my tiny bunny bed so... He told me he'll be fine, he'll sleep on the floor if he needs to, and I'm just like, really, a floor over a hotel bed? OK, yeah, my floor is probably cleaner, but... absolutely not.
I'm almost all set to get my new passport on Friday. ID, birth certificate, and expired passport are all on hand with photocopies of each, front and back. So all I need now is a money order for $170 since I'm getting it expedited. I don't think it's really necessary to have it expedited, I don't think Wolfie will be back before the year is over, but... just in case. Even when he does get back he wants to spend a few weeks here assuring my family that I will be totally fine. They already like him, they honestly do, but it's important to him to reassure them, just one of many reasons I adore him. But it's only $60 extra to get it done hopefully quicker so may as well even if Wolfie's not back for awhile yet. It'll put me at ease knowing I have it, and I won't be holding things up when the time comes. I should've gotten it done a year ago, but I didn't realize it was so close to expiring, and if you told me then that I'd possibly be moving to another country now... Well, Wolfie always planned to move us, I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. And here we are. Slovenia is an interesting choice, he always said it would be Vienna, Austria, which I guess is still pretty close by. He's still waiting for his lawyer to tell him how we're going to handle me, and moving me there. They've got some ideas, but they haven't decided which to put into action yet. It's weird listening to these men decide these things for me. But... I don't really know anything about it so it's better to just do as they say, I suppose. How utterly unlike me to sit back, and do as I'm told xD Wolfie says, as much as he loves my stubborn streak, he's going to work on that once I'm there. Oh, he will try...
04:44 Nov 23 2021
Times Read: 327
Another two pairs of shoes, gone. One of them was really hard to let go of, but... I don't need 10 pairs of boots. Ok, I do, but not when I'm planning on moving. And I've only ever worn them once in over a year of owning them, and someone was willing to give me like $200 for them so it was time. It's going to run me a couple hundred for my new passport, I have an appointment set up for Friday to go get my picture taken for it. Wolfie offered to pay for it, but I want to handle it myself. I do realize this Friday is black friday, but I'm not one of those nuts who goes out at 2am to fight over toasters. Now... I have gone out to watch those nuts fight over toasters, but I do my BF shopping online. Killstar is supposed to be releasing some limited edition stuff tonight/tomorrow, and I'm surprised they haven't started their sale yet, it usually goes on for a week. I'm supposed to be spending the night at my brother's house on Thursday. Everyone is headed there for Thanksgiving, and I promised all the kids a sleepover there sometime since my three year old niece isn't quite big enough to sleep here. She always gets so sad when I pick up her brother, and sister, but have to leave her behind, she tries to lock me in her room so I can't leave. Of course, her room doesn't actually have a lock so she sits in front of it to block me. I haven't been over as much since I've been working, but that won't be a problem after this week. My brother has on multiple occasions told me I should just move in with them, but I've been waiting on Wolfie to get his act together. There is no rushing that man, everything is by his time, and that's been fine, I haven't been unhappy. He's trying so hard to get everything done now, I think he's finally figured out what he wants. I just hope he's not disappointed.
00:01 Nov 23 2021
Times Read: 355
I found the most adorable lil wolfie plushie at the grocery store today ^^
Pocket-sized wolfie :3
I'm going to keep him in my mini backpack. It's hard to find wolf plushies that are actually wolves, not huskies so I always grab them when I see them. Of course now the kids are all going to want one xD He needs a name though. All of my wolves have Dark Souls names. Artorias, Ornstein, Gough, Ciaran, Farron and Sif. I have a couple that I haven't named yet. Wolfie also has a lion plush named Gwyn. Hmm... Oolacile maybe? Yeah, I like that :3
I haven't heard from Wolfie today which probably means he's either extremely depressed or thar maybe he got his card, and is now figuring out getting back here. See, I'm optimistic so I'm going to hope for the best. He has this bad habit though of just taking off, and not telling me where he's at until he's already there though so it's hard to say. It would be amazing if he just showed up, but he's not really the spontaneous type. He tells me he's going to be more spontaneous, and I'm like, Wolfie, telling me you're planning to be spontaneous is the opposite of being spontaneous xD Hey, he tries. I'm so fidgety when he's not around even after a day. I just get so used to having him right there so when he's unresponsive I get a little... uneasy. It's not his fault, it's totally me being way too dependent on him. It's just that everything feels so out of control without him, and when he's there it's quieter. It's hard to explain. I shouldn't be so dependent on him for my own emotional stability, but he just brings me so much peace that it's hard not to lean into him. I'm sure he's fine, but I can't help worrying over him.
I was about to punch some old guy at work today xD That sounds bad, but... He was a dick. Most people are polite, patient, easy to deal with, but every now and then I get someone in there who's outraged with the prices. Like $3.75 for an ice cream is totally breaking the bank. Motherfuckers, I don't set the prices. And if I did, I'd remind you that nothing is free. Ingredients for ice cream aren't free, getting it made, and delivered isn't free, keeping a building in electricity to sell said ice cream isn't free. Like, whiney, entitled bitches, I'm sorry you can't get a cheeseburger for a nickel anymore, I definitely don't get paid enough to deal with you. Then, after arguing with me about pricing, and eventually buying something, he slammed the door on the way out. Unfortunately, within that 15 minute interval, my boss had left to pick up his daughter from school so I had to handle it myself. If there weren't cameras in there watching me I would've told him to leave. There's no reason to be so fuckin rude to me. Despite what people may think, I have great personal skills, I handle people well. But I don't handle stupid well at all. It's not my shop so I really shouldn't kick people out, but it was going to be for his own safety cause I was gonna go off xD Believe me, I wish I could give everyone everything for free, and someone in their 70s should definitely understand that, but nope, totally my fault. I'm so glad next week I'll only be working two days a week, I'm kinda over this whole job thing xD I mean, I like having a job, but dealing with humans is so unbearable.
04:14 Nov 22 2021
Times Read: 392
Working on getting my passport renewed. I hadn't noticed it had expired, and Wolfie said it's probably a good idea to go ahead, and get it going. He's supposed to be getting his residency card tomorrow, and his second passport by the end of the week. Of course, they told him it was supposed to be there by the end of last week so... See, when they pulled this shit with his internal passport he eventually went there, yelled at them, and got it the next day. He's very good at yelling at people. He prefers not to, he prefers to be reasonable, but when one of his main pet-peeves is when people aren't doing their job right or at all. That really sets him off. I want it to be done just as badly as he does, as soon as he has all his documents in hand he can buy a ticket straight here. Assuming he doesn't have to go back to Europe. He really shouldn't need to since the apartment is ready for us, and it's ridiculous that the next time he goes back there it might be with me with him. He said it's very bare, and needs decorating which he's leaving up to me. I would like him to help though, he has great taste especially when it comes to art. He wants to have a painting done of Hades, and blonde little Persephone. I would paint it myself, but I'm not quite to that level. He was talking about getting me a space for an art studio, and maybe once the larger apartment is done we can turn the smaller one beside it into something like that. Maybe. The town he's moving us to is gorgeous, it's surrounded by mountains and forests. It's not a huge town itself, just a little tourist spot, but within a few hours drive is Venice and Vienna and Paris. I want to see everything. He's promised to take me to Greece, he has some really friends there He's dying to introduce me to. I'm so ready to go. Wolfie says he's not letting me leave the apartment for at least a couple days once we get there... It needs to be properly broken in. I want us to have a chance to get stable too, he really needs that more than anything. We'll need to work on my residency stuff too, but his lawyer says he's got it all figured out. I hope that once we're settled it helps him. I know that his depression is never completely going away, but I like for us to try to make it bearable. Some days are really bad, but mostly he's doing a lot better. He's just really tired of running around, but it was his choice to go through with all this. He could have just come back to Denver. But... being far away from his mother is helping a lot. Being in a place where she can't just randomly show up at his door is extremely nice. He's finally broken all contact with her, and while it breaks my heart that he can't have his own mother in his life, it's truly best this way. He needs emotional stability, and you can't get that with an abuser in your life constantly guilt tripping you for not being there for them, and blaming you for everything wrong in their life. Boy, do I wanna just wipe her off the face of this planet. But she's miserable enough as it is so it's not necessary for me to do anything. My focus is all on making Wolfie comfortable and happy. Once we get past these documents, things should speed up considerably. I'll be so relieved when he's back. I'm trying hard to be calm, and relaxed about everything, but I'm feeling just as tense as he is. It's a lot to take in, and prepare for. I have no idea how I'm going to pack my entire life into a few boxes. Every time I try to start packing I'm just like, nope, this is overwhelming, there's just too much to do xD
08:10 Nov 21 2021
Times Read: 435
I love roller skating. We went to the local rink for my niece's birthday, and I love being the first ones there when you've got the place to yourself, and you can really catch speed and fly. Of course, the kids all needed help, the most important thing is teaching them that it's ok to fall, it happens to everyone. It helps being short, the fall to the ground isn't as far xD I told Wolfie I'm going to take him skating when he gets back. It's only $300 to rent the place for a couple hours, and the kids love it so I could see Uncle Wolfie out there with them. They get a little panicky when it gets crowded, of course I love it when there are people to dodge around. It scares my mother to death when I'm out there, like I'll break into pieces if I fall down xD She's just a bit protective. My dad used to take us skating all the time as kids. It was a bit different, the music was definitely better then. Lotta Bowie, Stevie, Queen, Prince. Most modern music is such garbage.
I spent most of the day before that on video with Wolfie which the kids were happy about. Except my youngest nephew. He told Wolfie that he is allowed to marry me, but not take me to Europe xD And Wolfie's just like, "Well, little guy, I am taking Bunny with me, but it's not time to talk about getting married. Yet." But he also told him that once we're settled they can visit us anytime. I can't really see my family traveling there though so we'll have to make sure I can visit at least once a year. I love them, but... I need to be with Wolfie. I was telling my nephew, as he was telling me that I'm never allowed to leave ever, that he's going to grow up, meet a girl, get married, have kids, and he then he won't need me anymore. And he looks up at me, and says, "But you can move in with me, and take care of my kids, and I'll take care of you." My heart just melted. They'll be fine, they have other aunts, I'm just best auntie, but they'll be fine. They can video call me every day after school, no matter what time it is where I'm at. And I do hope they'll visit eventually. Wolfie was telling me about the apartment setup. He said that the apartment he has for us is technically two different apartments separated by a balcony/patio. One of the apartments is smaller, being only a couple rooms, and the second is much bigger, being several rooms. He said I can choose either, but the bigger one is still being worked on. He told the people working on it that he needed them to put in bigger closets. When he said that I just gazed lovingly into his green eyes, and told him he is truly the love of my life xD I mean, he was anyway, but this man giving me big closets... Which I had mentioned to him before when he showed me, that the closets there were perhaps a little small for my tastes. So he's making them bigger for all of bunny clothes. To be fair, I'd give up everything to follow him, I don't need a huge wardrobe, but it makes me super fuzzy inside that he's trying to make everything perfect for me. Honestly, all I need is him for things to be perfect❤
I did legit consider quitting my job though. Like I've mentioned, my boss is pretty inappropriate. And this is me saying this... I am by no means a prude. And I get that he's having a midlife crisis. But seriously. Cut that shit out. Him, and his wife were talking about asking me to play spin-the-bottle, and I know they're joking, but the constant sexual crap is starting to rub me wrong. I'm all for a good time, but... And his wife is asexual so it's just like, haha, joking, great... You know it's bad when I'm getting offended. I actually blocked him on my phone earlier tonight because he text me like five times saying hi. Dude, grow up. If you need something, cool, but then he complains I never respond to him, well, don't message me five times in 30 seconds just to say hello. So at this point his mom will have to contact me about work, she's the one who does it anyway. I can totally see them getting sued though. I'm not going to do it because I don't genuinely feel harassed or threatened, I'm just annoyed, but I can totally see it happening. Wolfie says he'll handle it if I need him to, and he won't be disappointed in me if I quit. I'm probably going to be getting less than 10 hours a week anymore anyway so... I'm not really sure why I'm holding onto it.
05:42 Nov 20 2021
Times Read: 485
Wolfie has been waking me up at like 5 am lately xD Since he's 8 hours ahead, 5 am for me is afternoon for him. I don't mind though since he'll often stay up til 4-6 am his time just to spend time with me. He got some great news today, his lawyer told him that his residency card should be there waiting for him on Monday. That'll be one huge thing out of the way, and that means we're just waiting on his external Russian passport which was supposed to have already gotten to him so hopefully it's on the way. At that point there shouldn't be anything keeping him from coming back. I really need for him to be be back, his therapist told him that it's super important for him to stabilize, and he can't do that until everything is in place. But I am glad he went ahead, and went to Europe, and got this all going. I was annoyed at first when he chose to go there instead of coming back here after he was finally allowed to leave the island, but it's better this way, it would have been much more work coming here then going there then coming back to get me. Now it should be all done, he just has to come retrieve me so we can hopefully get me a visa, and file my residency paperwork. I'm ready for this, ready to go. As much as I love my family, this will be good for me, and Wolfie will take excellent care of me, he already does. It's really important to him to stay here for a bit to make sure everyone is comfortable with him whereas I'm more like, no, but seriously, we can just go xD That's not what he wants though. He doesn't want to grab me, and run, he wants to leave everyone with a good impression, and I adore him for that. They all already like him, but more time with him couldn't hurt. I just don't want him to be overwhelmed. My family can be overwhelming. They're not weird or anything, but they're kinda the opposite of what Wolfie grew up with. His family is more about success, money, drive, ambition. Mine is more of a, as long as you're happy, do what you do. Mine is very loving, and welcoming, and his is... a bit colder. I wouldn't say they're bad people, but they didn't give him emotional love and support, and he desperately needs that in his life now which I'm happy to provide. He needs to be safe, and comfortable, and stable, and I really hope we'll get to that point soon. We both need it.
It'll be a bit strange when he's back though. Before he left for the island job he was working nonstop, like 18 hour days. So... Having him here to myself with no work or interruptions... That'll be interesting❤
03:21 Nov 19 2021
Times Read: 529
Ended up working today, but got off in time to go to my nephew's birthday. One of my niece's has a party on Saturday now too. There are so many of them xD I'm definitely not working Saturday though so it's fine. I like my job, but having to be up before noon is really putting a cramp in my nightlife. I'm just not a night sleeper, I sleep better during the day. But like I've said, next week is my last regular work week before my hours change to never going in before 3 or 4. I don't expect to be here long enough for the hours to go back, hopefully Wolfie will be back before 2-3 months from now. He had a mini breakdown this morning after dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. He called to see whether or not they'd ship his residency card to the embassy in Moscow, and they haven't given him a solid answer, they just keep telling him they're working on it. His second passport also hasn't come in, which was only supposed to take two weeks. Pretty sure it's been longer by now. I told him it's pretty typical for government officials to move slow as shit on this stuff so we just need to be patient, it'll come through eventually, but he really wants to get back to me already since he's been gone so long, and we've spent all this time apart. So he's extremely frustrated that everything is moving so slow. His lawyer actually showed up while we were on the phone, and told him that he would make some calls, and look into what the holdup is with his passport so hopefully he can get things moving. Wolfie keeps telling people, "I need to get home, I have a very angry girlfriend waiting for me, please help me out here..." xD I'm really not angry. But I am equally frustrated. I get it though, moving to another country is a big deal. Letting someone move into your country is a big deal. Now, should it be so difficult, as a human whose home is this entire planet, to live where I want? And I understand, people don't want bad people around them. If you're a criminal or a leech then I can understand a government not wanting you in their country. But it's so many hoops to jump through, they make it so hard and lengthy. I just want it to be done, I want us to be home, wherever that ends up being. I told him that once he's back I'm going to be pretty much glued to his side forever so... I hope he's ready for that xD He's always saying he's so frustrated because all of this is cutting into bunny cuddle time. We're gonna reach maximum cuddle capacity probably the night he gets back, I am going to be all over him from car to shower to bed to whatever else❤
Wolfie really hates hotels so I'm looking into maybe a vacation house close by that we could possibly set up in for a couple weeks. He wants to stay for a bit to spend more time with my family before he takes me far, far away. I've already told everyone that this is the plan, but I don't think they're prepared for me to actually, permanently go with him this time. I'm haven't really completely wrapped my brain around it either, especially when I look at Slovenia, and I'm just like... That's gonna be home? It's really gorgeous there. It's like a fairytale.
And Little Red Riding Hood ram away with the Big, Bad Wolf, and they lived happily ever after❤
06:01 Nov 18 2021
Times Read: 562
Little Red Riding Hood
Even bad wolves can be good~♡
04:44 Nov 18 2021
Times Read: 581
Tomorrow is my nephew's birthday so they're having a birthday thing tomorrow night. Now, I've asked several times if I was supposed to work tomorrow night, and no one has given me a solid answer. I was told that they might need me to work tomorrow night, a week ago. So, as far as I'm concerned, I'm not working tomorrow night. Right... Until they text me at like 10 at night, and ask me, "Did anyone ask if you'd like to work tomorrow night?" Would I like to? Not really. Like, I'd be fine with working the day shift, but I like to spend time with my nieces, and nephews, it's really important since I'm leaving soon. Which I totally played up in my response to them, hey, I had plans already with my family, but if you really need me... It's not a huge deal either way, it's just annoying that they are so disorganized, and expect you to drop everything with no notice. I'm happy to show up for what's on the schedule, but I feel like I'm always the one who's called in to do extra, and usually I'm all for it because they're good people, and a little extra money never hurts. So they're trying to figure out if whoever is working day shift tomorrow will switch with me. She could just work a double shift. I've done it, 2 or 3 times actually, it's not a big deal to work 8 hours especially considering our job. Either way, I'm not working tomorrow night, it's not my problem. I dunno what the fuck they're going to do when Wolfie gets back, and I quit. My boss told me if I quit then he's going to close the place down xD I'm pretty sure he's kidding, but for real, I'm not going to choose a crappy job over the love of my life. He keeps talking about how he thinks him, and his wife are going to end up divorced soon, and how he just wants to take off and disappear. He's totally going through a midlife crisis which I've tried to tell him, and advised him to perhaps seek professional help, but I doubt he will. Maybe people just enjoy being miserable. If you own a candy store, and you're miserable... something is terribly wrong with you xD Which is part of the problem though, he's tired of having to be there constantly, another reason why we're cutting hours down to half days, maybe it'll help him a bit. I was on video chat with Wolfie on Tuesday at work, because we didn't have anyone else there, and my boss walks by, and says very loudly, "Oh, baby, come back to bed." And I'm just like, yeahhhh... That might work if he wasn't looking right at me, he can pretty clearly see I'm not in another dude's bed, motherfucker, nice try. At which point Wolfie threatened to gut him or set him on fire or probably both xD My boss doesn't actually mean any harm, he's just a 15 year old boy trapped in a 40 year old body. He's a good guy overall. Wolfie is just extremely protective of his bun, and it is a bit disrespectful even if you're just joking. It's also extremely Unprofessional, borderline sexual harassment. He's going to get an employee eventually who isn't so lighthearted, and will probably sue his ass. He was telling me he used to do the same thing to another girl who worked there, except he'd get on her phone, and text her boyfriend. It's a bit creepy now that I think about it. Hmm, maybe he's a bit more sinister than he seems... Joking is joking, but if he ever touched my phone I would flip. I'd go straight to his mother xD
22:44 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 617
I love them💗🖤💗🖤💗
No... Shh, don't tell me I can't have them.
Yes, I'm talking to myself xD
My last dress finally got shipped from Unique Vintage, and lemme tell you, never buying from them again. At the beginning of September I purchased three dresses from them, two of which were on backorder, and were supposed to be shipped out by September 25th. One of them was in stock though, and you know how long it took for them to ship that one? Over 2 fucking weeks. Ridiculous. I get it, covid has caused a lot of chaos in warehouses worldwide, things are understaffed, but it shouldn't take almost 3 weeks to ship out one dress especially when I upgraded my shipping to receive it within a few days. Did they refund me for that? Hell fuckin no. But it was only $3 so I wasn't going to fight them. But then September 25th rolls around, I'm still missing two dresses. Ok, I figure I'll give them a week or two, they're probably behind, it's fine. Two weeks later, still nothing. Contact support, and get the "blame it on covid" copy/paste reply that everyone is still using. So at this point I'm tired of them, I want my money back, I go to PayPal. And those sonsofbitches... They give PayPal the tracking number for the one dress they shipped, and say they shipped all three. Despite it showing on their own fucking site, on my order page that the order was only partially fulfilled. Just... flat out lied. But then I suddenly get an email that the second dress has shipped. That's still one missing, the most expensive one in fact. And quite honestly, after lying about having shipped all three way back in September, I was just done with it, I completely forgot. Until today when I see, oh hey, we shipped your last dress, you're welcome. I'm so tempted to send it back for a return after it gets here... Except they would charge me $8 to return it, and I'm sure more bullshit would go down. I would send all three back just to really stick it to them if I hadn't already sold one of them. It might be worth the $8 to send two of them back though... But yeah, never again, Unique Vintage, you fucked up, you're on my list with Too Fast now, the list of extremely terrible places to buy things from. And now their ads are constantly playing on my phone, and it's just like, no forgiveness😐
I had a great day though. I got to spend the whole day with Wolfie, and he had good news, his Russian passport should be in within a few days. He also told me that if they're willing to send his residency card to the embassy in Moscow then he won't have to go back to Europe to pick it up so he'll be able to come straight here. He said they haven't told him whether or not they'd be sending it or making him pick it up in Slovenia, but I really hope they'll send it to Russia so we can cut out that whole step. He said the apartment is all fixed up, and ready to go for when he brings me back, we just need these last couple things to fall in place before he can come back. If he could get back by next month that would be amazing. I'm not going to expect it... but I will hope❤
06:31 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 653
Wolfie tells me he just doesn't want to hurt me. And I always break down a little when I tell him that the only thing that would truly hurt me is if he abandoned me. Sure, sometimes he'll be gone for a week or so. If I don't hear from him all day, I definitely notice it. A few days, I try to reach out. Over a week, and I get a bit panicky. Even though I know he'll be back, and there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for his absence, I don't handle myself very well when he's not around, my emotional stability degrades quite a lot. I know it's not great to be so emotionally dependent on another person, but he just comforts me completely in a way that no one else can. He just has to look at me, and I know everything will be alright. And while it may not be the most pleasant thing to deal with his depression, if the alternative to that is not having him around then I will happily bear it. Maybe we're a bit obsessed with, and addicted to each other... It's not a harmful addiction though. It might be a little disruptive in person when he's so entwined with me that he can't be bothered to do anything else, like work xD Even over five years in that feeling has never faded, only intensified. I crave him all the time even when he's right in front of me. That must be why he calls me insatiable. We were on video chat earlier, and of course he was telling me how beautiful, intelligent, sexy, amazing I am, as he often does. And he said to me, "When I first saw you, I couldn't believe such a beautiful bunny could look so sad." It's interesting, I tend to hide my feelings a lot behind a mask of humor and sarcasm. Most people never know when I'm truly upset. But that day, he saw me, saw the me behind me just like he always does, he always has. When we met I was internally this miserable person. I was surrounded by people who loved me, but my heart was a void, collapsed in on itself. Who would have ever guessed he'd be the one...❤
01:50 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 675
16:52 Nov 16 2021
Times Read: 707
I know I really didn't need another pair of shoes... But I needed THIS pair of shoes❤🖤❤🖤
Suddenly, I'm in a much better mood. I think I'll wear them to work today :3
05:05 Nov 16 2021
Times Read: 735
I was a grumpy bunny today. The day just seemed to drag on... Work was so slow, I sat there for three hours playing therapist to my boss. This should be my last full week of work since they're going to half days after Thanksgiving. As much as I like my job, it's so boring when no one comes in, and there are better things I could be doing with my time even if I am getting paid to sit there. It's not like I'm getting paid that much xD Money is money, but I've got my business for that. The kid they fired called in crying so the owner of the shop was feeling pretty bad, but she did the right thing, dude wasn't showing up. Maybe they'll give him another chance after I'm gone. I'll be glad when I only have to go in for a half day a couple days a week. It'll be a good bridge between quitting. Hopefully Wolfie gets his card this week, and his second passport comes through so he can leave Russia, and be back here soon. Wolfie helps pass the time a lot by staying up to spend time with me. He'll stay up til I get home safe at least, but usually a couple hours more after just to give me attention, and since he's 8 hours ahead it may be 6 am before he goes to sleep. He's been struggling to write for a couple years now, having massive writers block. But when he does come up with a poem or two they're always about me. He's been re-reading the Divine Comedy, and calling me his Beatrice. Of course, then he starts talking about how he's Cursed, and damned, and, "I'm one of the damned, burning in Phlegethon." At which point I have to tell him, darling, you're a bit dramatic... I can understand, seeing the crap that's happened in his life, why he might feel that way. But it hasn't been all bad. I'm here. That's something. A lot of artists are tortured. He has this really good friend in France who he'd like to help teach me to paint, but he says that she's the place emotionally that he was before he met me. And that's pretty bad. Initially, I didn't much like her because she would call him, and tell him he should go to Paris, and spend a month with her. Of course, he'd politely tell her no, but I felt disrespected. You have to remember though... Before Wolfie met me, he was never really attached to anyone so he could do things like that, take off to Paris or Vienna, party for a month with friends, and think nothing of it. His friends weren't used to him being in a serious relationship since, before me, he never really was. So I try not to harbor any ill will towards them. Apparently, she's still in this party phase whereas he's trying to get his life together and stabilize. And that makes me feel bad for her. But I've never asked him to drop her as a friend. She is a gorgeous model/artist with a hot French accent... But she's also a firm Domina, and Wolfie is 100% not submissive so they've never gone there in their friendship. Wolfie says I'm much more her type, and then his eyes sorta glaze over as the thought of her, and I together completely explodes his brain xD Yeahhh, not gonna happen, but he can imagine it all he likes. I would love to have her as a artistic teacher though, but like I said, she's not in a good place emotionally for that, and as much as I may help Wolfie, I don't think the powers of bunny love would extend to her... Wolfie says she needs a male bunny, a hare xD I guess she told him that she hopes she can find someone to light her up the way I light him up, and it means a lot that people from his past can see the changes in him. Obviously, I didn't know how bad it was before we met, but from what I've heard about him, we met at the perfect time, and he's like a new person. He tells me he feels like he's healing, and that's most important to me, for him to feel safe, and comfortable in letting all the scars fade. He deserves to have some happiness, we all do.
02:48 Nov 15 2021
Times Read: 772
He's just like... one of my favorite things ever🧡
06:22 Nov 14 2021
Times Read: 803
Can I interest you in these Cocoa Krispies?
You know what though? I love when he's silly.
And personally, I love a man who can lay it on thick...❤
04:14 Nov 14 2021
Times Read: 826
They fired the kid, finally. I saw the owner of the shop writing up his letter of dismissal, and put it with his last check. I don't feel bad for him. Yeah, people get sick, sometimes you just need a day off. I haven't taken a day off since I started working there, but it's not exactly a demanding job scooping ice cream, and handing out candy. He even worked half of much as I do, and still couldn't manage to show up for his shifts. He obviously doesn't really want the job. He's completely unreliable whereas I've showed up every time they've called me in on my days off to cover for him. But they're going into Winter hours soon so I'll probably only be working 2 days a week after Thanksgiving. It's kind of pathetic xD But it's also good because once Wolfie comes back, I'm quitting, and he'll hopefully be back within the next couple months. He's waiting for his residency card right now, and then he's headed back to Slovenian. He says he should only be there a couple weeks, but... It'll probably end up a couple months at least. But ya know, if he gets to come back sooner that's great. But that's why it's good that my job is cutting everyone's hours back because then I won't feel like I'm abandoning them when they really need me. They were talking about also letting go of the other girl that works there since she's only 19, she's kinda slow, kinda awkward, and they don't want her using the register. I'm actually the only one they've taught to use the register because they trust me. And the owner of the shop was talking to me about how everyone loves me there because of my personality. I get along really well with everyone, I'm really great with the customers, there was no question that they were keeping me on. But this other girl, she's a bit socially weird. She doesn't interact well with people, she's very stiff. I guess she had a rough childhood, and most of her interactions with people has been online. According to my boss, because she tells him these things then he tells me, she's never had an actual in person boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. And her parents were really horrible to her, and used to lock her in a basement, and it's all very tragic. So I told them, in my personal opinion of things, they shouldn't fire her because I do plan on leaving soonish maybe, and because she needs the social aspect of this job a lot more than I do. Honestly, I don't need this job, I'm definitely not making enough money for that to be worth it. I needed work experience, and this has provided me with just that. I'm not going to need to get a job in Slovenia with Wolfie, I don't even know if I'd be able to, but it doesn't hurt to have a little experience. It's kept me busy while waiting for him to get back. But yeah, I hope they don't fire the other girl because as soon as Wolfie says he's bought his ticket back, I'm putting in my notice. He wants to stay here for a few weeks to visit more with the family, and spend time together before we pack up, and completely move me. But I'm definitely not going to keep working while he's here. Like, once he's here, I'm done, that's just how it is. They've been really good to me, I appreciate it, but holding onto an 8 hour a week job anyway isn't worth it. Even if I wasn't moving, I'd be looking for something else. I understand that selling ice cream in the Wintertime isn't really ideal so they're cutting back, I'm not upset about that at all. But they equally can't be upset with me for leaving, one way or another, with those changes taken into consideration. They'll be fine without me, it's not like it's hard to fill my shoes. The thing is, I'm an incredibly hard worker, and I don't have to constantly be reminded of what I need to do. The teenagers, you have to be on their case all the time because otherwise they'll sit around on their phones. And I usually text with Wolfie all day at work, which they don't mind, but if there's something to do, I jump up, and do it, and I know what I'm doing, and I don't need any help. But... I'm an adult. They complain about these kids they hire, so stop hiring teenagers. But normal adults expect to be paid more. I don't do this job for the money so making minimum, and only working 12-16 hours a week doesn't bother me. But most adults need a job to take care of themselves or their families so they need more money, and more hours than this place can give. They're not going to get decent help for what they're offering, probably another reason they like me so much since I don't care xD Although my boss covered a big mistake I made. I left a box cutter laying close to the ground a few days ago. We sell bottled soda so when I restock them I have to open the boxes. I guess I forgot it, and my bosses kids are sometimes there, a 3 and 6 year old, so they could have gotten ahold of it. Now, they're not supposed to be in the back room anyway, but I guess the owner, my bosses mom, found out about it, and was super mad about it, and he took the blame, and said he was the one who left it there. Which, he didn't need to, if she was mad enough to fire me then she could have, I wouldn't have fought it. Oh, ok, I guess I won't come in for my whole 8 hours next week, oh no xD Honestly, we have knives within reach of them in the kitchen so it's like... Stupid to freak out about because they can reach a knife if they really want to. But now I owe him. Like I've said, I really like my boss, he's a cool dude. Wish I didn't know about all the bullshit between him, and his wife, but that aside, he's an extremely nice guy.
Hopefully, within the next 2-4 months everything will really start moving. Progress will be made. Progress has already been made, Wolfie's residency card is on the way, that's a huge step, but next we have to work on getting me residency which is much trickier... It would have been a lot easier to move me to Russia, but we both would prefer to be in Europe. Nothing against Russia, I'm sure we'll be up there occasionally, but it feels so fat away from everything. In Slovenia you've pretty much got it all right there. It's going to be crazy when he gets back. I was upset with a really good friend of mine recently because he was in the area, but didn't stop to see me. I was just like... dude, could've been your last chance to ever see me again xD
05:55 Nov 13 2021
Times Read: 871
I was excited.
But... I'm a nerd...
Speaking of Beholders...
Can we maybe get over the boring, repetitive Resident Evil bullshit, and give me a Dragons Dogma 2? For how basic the first one is, it's really good. I like being able to climb up large enemies, and stab them straight in the face, I want some more of that❤
04:52 Nov 12 2021
Times Read: 907
Got called into work tonight to cover for dumbass😐
After covering for him on Monday. And they've already asked me to work his shift on Saturday.
It's just like... are you sure he works here? Cause he doesn't seem to want to show up. But they said you're not allowed to just fire people anymore. You have to give them verbal warnings, and write them up, and make all proper and official. Personally, I'd tell him to get his shit, and get the fuck out ya worthless punk, but that's just me. The extremely sad part is I've heard from other people that in the High School he attends he's quite the ladies man. Young women... Please, for fuck's sake, raise your standards cause this lazy motherfucker ain't the one. I get it, I've been there. Every other guy I dated before Wolfie was an absolute, 100% brokeass loser. Guys who couldn't even buy me dinner. And they weren't all that attractive. And they were pretty terrible people. So... I can't really tell you why I was into them, but I eventually learned better, and then better found me. You don't have to accept garbage people in your life, decent, genuine people do exist, you just have to let go of the negative. I'm not saying this guy is the worst because he's only 17, he's still growing up, and maybe within a few years he'll mature into something better. But he's not going to make it that far if he doesn't start doing his own damn work. I do not have room on my squad for people who don't pull their own weight, he deserves to be cut loose. But it's not up to me. And then my fucking boss is having this huge pity party about how he wants to just run away from everything, and start over because no one would miss him anyway if he was gone. Motherfucker, grow the fuck up. You chose to get married, have kids, and open up shop, if you're feeling stuck it's your own damn fault, you can't just run away from your responsibilities. He's saying his kids wouldn't care, that's bullshit, if he disappeared it would screw them up for life. So selfish. I tried to play therapist, and even suggested he seek professional help because I get it, he's there constantly, he's burnt out, he needs a break. Oh, but therapy doesn't work, talking doesn't work. I had this same argument with Wolfie, and ge did finally start talking to a therapist, and the guy told him he needs to settle his ass down, stop running around the world. And he's doing his best to accomplish that, it just takes time. Wolfie suffers from burnout syndrome too, he worked so hard constantly for so long that now he just can't do anything. But it's good, he needs the break. I don't know if my boss has depression or not, I think maybe he's having a midlife crisis because he's always talking about how he's done nothing with his life, and makes it seem like his wife, and kids are holding him back. It fucking sucks, like, suck it up, dude, you made your choices. Why are most of the men in my life always so terrible xD
05:29 Nov 11 2021
Times Read: 954
Ya know... I can't help, but notice that none of these look like a rogue class. Maybe Warrior since one of them has a curved sword... But where's my tight leather armor? Hopefully these aren't the only 5.
Bloody Wolf though... I like that.
It looks like another Dark Souls. And that's certainly not a bad thing, it's actually incredibly high praise. But then, why not just make another Dark Souls? I'm trying not to look too much into it because I don't want to be spoiled. That's how it was with Bloodborne, I went into with absolutely no knowledge. I'm glad I don't have to buy a PS5 to play it. I really didn't want to spend $1000+ just to play one game, but you know I would for THIS game xD Actually, if this doesn't come out til February then hopefully by then I'll be moved overseas, and I was planning on leaving my consoles to the kids because I really don't want to hassle with bringing a PS2, 3 and 4. I was going to leave my PS3 to my brother's daughter, but they have a bad habit of selling things... I haven't fully wrapped my head around leaving the country yet. Wolfie always has these big plans, and schemes, and then he'll randomly change his mind. He is putting a lot of work into this though so maybe he's actually set on this. His residency stuff for Slovenia is ready, he's having it sent to the embassy in Moscow, then once his Russian paperwork is all sorted he's going back to Europe to make sure everything is ready for bringing me there because then he's supposed to be coming back here to fetch me. Yeah... Maybe getting all that done by February is optimistic xD
I hate the thought of him alone on Christmas again. He's always so down through the holidays, and I know he has a lot of really bad memories for that period of time. He does have family, and friends there, but he tends to isolate himself so he doesn't bring people down. He has this dark aura that clings to him, and people can sense it, and they very stupidly tell him to stop being so negative like he chooses to be depressed and suicidal, like he enjoys it or something. Just makes me want to kick them, repeatedly, with pointy shoes. People are so fucking dumb when it comes to dealing with people who are depressed. Like, yeah, just get over your mental fucking illness, it's that easy. Motherfuckers.
22:00 Nov 10 2021
Times Read: 984
My new robe, the Night Marry robe...
It's got moons, ruffles, adorable little ears, and the back is the best part. It's so perfect for me. I was a little worried it wouldn't fit since I could only find it in a size XS, but it's actually perfect, I'm so happy with it❤
02:57 Nov 10 2021
Times Read: 1,027
My boss lost a lot of points with me today. He sat there, and told me all the numerous times he's cheated on his wife, and how she only knows about one of them. Of course, he tried to justify it by saying he didn't consider it cheating because he didn't actually have sex with any of them, just making out, and feeling up. Yeah, see, in my opinion, that's cheating. If you're doing something with someone that you feel you can't or shouldn't tell your partner about... And I've mentioned she's asexual, she has no sex drive. I told him that if they have some sort if open relationship agreement then that's whatever, but apparently she really doesn't like him with other women. And all the women he's cheated with have been coworkers. Awesome! So now I'm just like... Kinda leery of him. Which sucks because I really liked him as a person, but that's so shitty towards his wife, and makes me want to punch his skull in. It's like my ex. My ex will say absolutely anything to justify his womanizing while taking 0% of the blame for his shitty behavior. And he's not some big, bad villain, he's not an evil genius. At his core, he's just a fuckin coward. And I don't have room for that in my squad. When I realized that years ago, I let him go pretty easily. Sucks about my boss though, I thought he was one of the better ones, but he's just another whore. I don't think he'd make a move on me, he knows about Wolfie, and I've been very clear about our relationship, and that we are not ok with feeling up or making out with anyone else xD And if he tries then I would destroy him much faster than Wolfie could.
23:52 Nov 09 2021
Times Read: 1,056
Pretty new things❤
I just love emerald green.
It's one of Wolfie's favorite colors on me next to red and black.
03:45 Nov 09 2021
Times Read: 1,126
A few things you should never tell someone with severe depression are:
-Stop being so negative.
-Just cheer up/get over it.
-You have *list of endless things* to be happy about.
-You're overreacting/being too emotional.
A severely depressed brain can't control itself. It can't see past its own pain and trauma. The person inside wants to hear you, but they can't get past their own mind. It's not that they don't want to feel better, they just can't, and nothing can help except getting through it. You can be strong to remain at their side. You have to be selfless. It's better to tell them you're there for them, you'll listen, you're not going anywhere.
If you love someone who has severe depression, the best thing you can do is your research into it, they will appreciate someone trying to understand them better. It's a very lonely place feeling like no one can possibly understand what's going in inside your own head. People with major depression tend to isolate because they don't feel they're worth anyone's time, they don't want to burden anyone with their problems, they don't want to hurt anyone especially the way they hurt, and they don't want to open themselves up to another person who might completely destroy them. Some of them feel like they'll spend their whole lives alone because anyone who tries will eventually abandon them anyway. It takes a lot of time, and patience to prove them wrong. It's a struggle some days, a long process. When Wolfie tells me he finally feels like he's starting to heal, it means the world to me. I think the healing has been slowly happening over time, but there's a lot of damage. When we first met he was a much colder, mechanical person. It took awhile to get him to be vulnerable, open, and affectionate with me. It was like one day he just realized he was safe with me, and things have been a lot better since then. Our relationship has always been a bit chaotic, even more so towards the beginning. Sometimes I look back on certain things, and wonder how the hell we ever made it through, multiple times I thought we couldn't possibly come back. Wolfie says I'm just too stubborn and resilient, he couldn't get rid of me xD But... I think he's finally getting to a point where he's feeling genuinely happy. He still has his days, but he's doing so much better, and I don't want him to go back to whatever he was before. I've always loved him, but I really love seeing him shine. He doesn't see the shine in himself, but I do.
He said to me, "I love you, Bunny. You're precious, and we can figure out any problems that come around, together."
And my heart melted.
04:23 Nov 07 2021
Times Read: 1,181
Plans have changed again. Since Wolfie's residency got approved in Slovenia, he's now going back there to pick up his papers AFTER his Russian paperwork goes through. And then he's coming to get me, and go back to Europe.
For. Fuck's. Sake.
To be fair. Russia was only the backup plan. He really wanted us in Europe. And Europe is better for us. I didn't really want to be isolated in Russia away from everything. Europe is just... more centralized. And there's still so much in Europe left for him to show me. And it would be much better for my business to be in Europe. Russia is a bit... inconvenient. But if that was where Wolfie wanted to go then I would follow, I told him that it was totally up to him, wherever he thought was best. Since it was taking so long he was sure he was going to be denied the residency or that it was going to take forever, and he needed to go back to Russia anyway to settle a few things like the inheritance from his grandfather. So, while he was waiting, he took the time to go ahead, and get all that done, and get his Russian passports redone just in case things in Slovenia didn't come through. That's how Wolfie is, he always likes to have a backup plan just in case, he likes to be ahead. He's completely set on not living in the US anymore, and I understand that, it's not great here. I don't think anywhere on this planet is really any better off, but he's a lot more comfortable there. I wasn't expecting him to make it back before the end of the year, and now I'm even more sure of that since he's still waiting on the second passport, and he can't leave Russia until he has it. Then it's back to Slovenia, and who knows how long that'll take with the stupid holidays coming up. Although, on the bright side, Europe doesn't have Thanksgiving so maybe November won't be too bad. I am glad we're going to Europe, I'm happy that worked out, but who freakin knows with him what's going to happen next. I'm not too worried about it, he'll be back when he's back, I don't like him to feel rushed. It's not like I'm not totally fine, I'm perfectly comfortable where I am with my family. I just miss him all the time, and I'm ready to go. I've told him that he owes me one helluva date when he gets back xD He said he'd take me to France, and we'll go shopping. Not a bad start... Of course, I'm old-fashioned, I like to be romanced, and he is very good at it, but for all this I'm thinking extra. It can't all be whips, collars, and hanging from the ceiling... Well, it can, but I also really enjoy my head on his shoulder, hand in his, his lips on my forehead, whispering to me the most beautiful, romantic, and then very, very dirty things❤
05:14 Nov 06 2021
Times Read: 1,227
22:07 Nov 05 2021
Times Read: 1,256
Me, every Friday after work xD
And then... I go home, talk to Wolfie, and play my game.
Honestly, there's nowhere else I'd rather be❤
03:51 Nov 05 2021
Times Read: 1,283
I'm finally playing Hollow Knight.
It's been on my list, and after getting my platinum in Dark Souls, I needed a little break. I did start a new pyromancer in Dark Souls 3, made it to the Abyss Watchers, but then suddenly switched over to Bloodstained because I was really craving a good sidescroller. And from there I went, and downloaded Hollow Knight. I already love it, the cute/spooky graphics, and the somber music. The story is also interesting. I love games that don't hold my hand, they push me out with little explanation, and force me to learn on my own. Personally, I enjoy that. It really annoys me listening to people whine about "horrible game mechanics" that really aren't horrible, they were purposely made to be more difficult. Like the mushrooms. Omg, I hate them. If you don't bounce just right you'll hurl yourself into the acid. But that's the difficulty. It's like when people whine that Dark Souls is too hard. It's not even remotely hard, once you figure out where you are, where everything is, and what you're doing, you cam run right through. There's no boss that you can't kill in one try if you know what you're doing. Except Seath, but that's part of the game. Going from Dark Souls 1 to 3 though is kind of amazing just watching the graphics get that much better, it's crazy. And having played them both over, and over, and now back to back it's really intriguing to me how essentially they work exactly the same, but the feel is different in each.
But this isn't about DS, this is supposed to be about Hollow Knight xD Yeah, I mean, it's pretty good so far.
06:14 Nov 04 2021
Times Read: 1,321
I had a dream last night that I was kidnapped by some random guy. And I distinctly remember being really grossed out when he kissed me, he was terrible at kissing. But he took me to his house where there was another girl being held captive. He lays down on the couch, and falls asleep, doesn't tie us up or anything. So I notice there's this huge window on the opposite side of the room, I pick up a chair, and a hurl it through the window. And as I'm helping the other girl escape first it occurs to me that there's a lot of glass around, and it's probably going to hurt to climb out. I don't know why, I just remember stopping, and thinking about that, like, wellll maybe I'd be better off staying here xD Fuckin bunny brain. I did decide to climb out the window though, and we're in this quiet suburban neighborhood so I tell her to start running, and screaming, and our kidnapper finally comes after us. But then suddenly he stops, he pours some kind if lighter fluid on himself, and sets himself on fire.
Wolfie says, "You have many strange dreams, beloved."
Tell me about it.
At least nothing came from the sky this time.
06:31 Nov 03 2021
Times Read: 1,358
I totally forgot that this also came in ^^
Like I mentioned... There are people out there selling these for over $100. And they actually sell... Ridiculous. I got mine for $28, brand new. I've been using my Skeletor mini backpack for work, but I might like this one better.
Just when you thought I was getting rid of a bunch of my purses... Hey. A backpack is totally different xD Even if I use it to carry my wallet, mints, candy, keys, pepperspray and scrunchies. Totally not a purse...
02:00 Nov 03 2021
Times Read: 1,384
I can't believe I didn't get this before it sold out. It's so me.
But... I still found one in perfect condition❤
I'm also in love with this coat Disturbia just released.
I really don't necessarily need a new coat... And Wolfie is set on getting me something in fur. But I just don't think I can resist it❤
01:27 Nov 03 2021
Times Read: 1,399
15:56 Nov 02 2021
Times Read: 1,434
I'm a sucker for long, black, and... velvet❤ KS recently released a ton of new shit in their beautiful new brocade. Despite all the dress options, I decided to go for the skirt + duster. So here are the Daemonology Skirt, and Inferno Velvet Duster.
No regrets. They're gorgeous together. I noticed the skulls, and crosses in the design before I bought it. What I did not previously see were the leering demonic faces...
I love stuff like that, beautiful, but riddled with darkness. Hidden but obvious. I'll have to get the dresses as well, but I thought the duster would also look really pretty over lingerie. I've told Wolfie that once we get settled I'd like for him to take some pictures of me in various lingerie. I'd also really like if we did some sort of BDSM couples pictures xD Which sounds weird, but nothing pornographic, very tasteful, we could even take them with his face offscreen or behind a mask or obscured somehow. He's much more private than I am about this side of our life, and I respect that which is why I never post pictures of him or us. But I would like some bdsm pictures of us, possibly to hang in our bedroom. He said we should just do pictures of me, but it should be both of us in our shrine to debauchery. I do wish the duster was hooded... It's certainly pricey enough at $90, they could've slapped a hood on there.
Along with that I've been buying a lot of nightwear lately. When I'm alone I sleep in a shirt, I don't give a fuck, but for Wolfie I like to try a bit more, even when it all usually ends up on the bedroom floor. I've been investing in more nightgowns especially, but I also bought a nice satin robe. Devil's Lullaby Satin Robe and Guilty Pleasures Nightdress.
And then, because I like to occasionally give him a challenge, we have the Purr Off Romper.
See... They make these rompers so hard to get into xD Taking them off is a chore. But they're so comfy, and perfect for snuggle sessions because sometimes we just like to lay in bed, and watch anime, and eat a mountain of junk food, it's one reason why we're so perfect together, we can do that without judgment xD I am disappointed that they didn't make the unicorn design into a romper as well, but the kitties are super cute.
Here's something I've been waiting awhile to buy myself. The Over The Moon Top.
I love this, I just love long, black, drapey things. They look so perfect over a skirt or dress, the layers of the long and short. I like to call it, dressing like a Ring Wraith xD But... I'm a huge nerd so...
Another black and drapey, the Occultus Hoodie.
I don't like this one as much. It's a lot thicker, a lot heavier, much bulkier. But it's a hoodie so I'm not sure what I was expecting. Could be perfect for Russia, but at this point I don't know where Wolfie is going to settle. He is in Russia right now, and he's waiting to receive his second passport, but the paperwork for his residency in Slovenia finally went through, and turns out, he was approved. So he could go back there. He said he would prefer to move us there, but he needs to talk to his lawyer first, and see what the best option for me would be. All we need for me to get into Russia is get married since he's already a citizen there. That's not the case for Slovenia, he's merely a resident so it's a bit more complicated. He has an apartment in both countries, and can work in either so it just depends on how difficult either will be. I don't mind moving to either, I just want him to pick a place, and stay there long enough to come get me already. He's always saying he craves stability, then stop hopping around the world, and settle. I understand he's been doing all of this to provide us with a good foundation, but eventually you just have to go for it, and figure it out as it goes. You can't plan for everything. He's a planner, he needs things to go how they're supposed to go. I'm the opposite. I'm great at, fuck it, let's figure it out while we keep moving. Wingin' it. And Wolfie has to admit that sometimes when life throws you chaos it ends up for the best. Like me. He never planned for me or for us, but 5+ years later, here we are. If we could just get this one big hurdle out of the way.
Shockingly, I didn't really buy anything else through all the Halloween sales, I came in way under what I predicted to spend. But Black Friday is right around the corner, and I know I'll be spending a ton then. Sometimes I open my closet, and ask myself, "Aiyana... do you really need anything else?"
Well, no, but...
My oldest niece dressed as me for Halloween. I put her in one of my white collar dresses with knee high socks, and a pair of my kitty shoes. She looked adorable of course, a perfect little 11 year old goth girl. The sad part is that my dress actually fit her pretty well xD Hey, it was a size Small so... It was already a fairly small dress. Now she wants a whole wardrobe of little Gothic dresses. My brother is not so thrilled xD I always expected that one of them would take after me. Whenever we're out together people have asked if I'm her older sister. The sad part is she's almost taller than me. My oldest nephew tries to pick on me since he's finally gotten just taller than me. I do remind him though that being taller than someone who's only 5ft isn't really impressive. And... I can still kick his ass so xD I quietly walked up behind him a few weeks ago while he was talking to my other 11 year old nephew. Of course, he was talking shit about how he wasn't afraid of me. He turned around, and I tell ya what, I've never seen that boy run so fast away...
02:48 Nov 01 2021
Times Read: 1,093
Wolfie, and I wished each other a happy new year earlier today.
He told me it's going to be a good one.
That it'll be a year for a happier Wolfie and Bunny.
I hope he's right.
The positivity is a good sign❤
If things align properly, he'll be back here for me before the end of the year. Though he did mention they're talking about shutting things down there for a couple weeks... If he could just get his passport in before then, and get back here. The paperwork has already been submitted, and it's already been a week for what is supposed to only take two weeks so I'm really hoping it gets pushed through quickly.
It's already November, this whole year has gone by so fast. I have a feeling that once he gets back everything is going to move ridiculously fast. Thinking about moving makes me so anxious, but not in a bad way. Mostly a, how the fuck am I actually going to move all this shit to Russia, way xD