cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


Honor: 102    [ Give / Take ]


8 entries this month


05:43 Oct 30 2020
Times Read: 55

I was telling Wolfie that as I was having a conversation with another Dom, he called me "Little One."
Wolfie was not pleased... xD
I enjoy speaking with other Doms/subs in a friendly manner because I'm a very curious bunny, and I like to know how other couples interact with each other. The way Wolfie, and I do things can be completely different than how other people do things, there are a million different ways people do things in a bdsm lifestyle/relationship. Plus, sometimes I'll learn something new, and can take it back to Master. He likes that I get out there, and research things on my own so I'm not limited to just seeing, and learning things from his perspective and training.
But he's also been very adamant about teaching me how to spot bad/fake doms. Since he's been my one, and only Dom, there has been a lot to learn, and much more to learn still. He doesn't want me to take in any bad information from someone who doesn't know what they're doing or is using bdsm as an excuse to abuse. I think I'm smart enough, and have been trained well enough to be able to tell a proper Dom from a fake. Such as addressing me by any sort of sub name when you are not my Dom... Big fake. I'm not "Little One." I'm Bunny. Master named me Bunny. Although he himself calls me Little Bunny, Little Flower, Little Goddess, it's different than Little One. Little One has a more... childish tone to it. I get it, I'm tiny, adorable, squishable, and look like I need someone big to protect me, I think that's why Daddy Doms are often attracted to me. But I am a queen, a goddess, not your fuckin' princess. I had to explain the difference between being a Kitten and a Little to a friend recently. You can be a Kitten, and not be a Little. You can be both, and they do have similarities, but they're really entirely different. You know what they say about cats... A cat owns their Master as much as their Master owns them. I like that dynamic. I'm not dominant, but Master is mine, he belongs to me. But being a sub does not in any way make me weak or lesser than. I'm trained to be strong, independent, and confident, to take care of myself in my Master's absence. To properly care for my body with healthy food and exercise, to defend myself physically if necessary, to expand on my intelligence and creativity. All these things Master teaches, and expects of me for my well-being. A good Dom dedicates a lot of time, and work into helping their sub be better, and in turn they become better themselves. No one is perfect, and our life within bdsm has been a huge growing experience for both of us, we've both learned, and changed over the years quite a lot.
I feel like Wolfie has gotten a lot better at coming to me when he's feeling depressed. It used to be that when it would hit hard he would just run away, and deal with it on his own because he didn't want anyone else to have to deal with it. Noble, but foolish when you've got a woman in front of you who wants to help, and hasn't for one day ever considered him to be a burden. But he's gotten better, and I've gotten better at being able to pull him out of the darkness. Real, serious, severe depression is a lifelong thing, it's not going away, it can't be avoided, sometimes he just drops. At those times, he really just needs love and support. You know, a lot of people have abandoned him over the years due to his psychological issues. I get it, it can be really hard to deal with someone with massive unpredictable mood swings. Who can go from happy, to sad, to angry, to horny, to empty all in about 5 minutes. But it's not his fault. No one chooses that. No one wakes up wanting to feel scared, alone and unstable. People often make the mistake of telling someone with severe depression to, "Just cheer up, get over it." That works on me when I'm sad, I just get over things pretty easily. It doesn't work with depression. You can't get over being sad when you're sad because you just are. When there's nothing there to get over, it just is. People don't understand being sad without a source, but that's a big part of depression. Your brain telling you, "Hey, you're gonna be sad today, no particular reason why." Having to deal with that is hard. Having to try to explain that to people who can't comprehend it is exhausting. That's one reason why so many people with depression choose to isolate themselves. They don't want to be alone, but they don't want people who can't understand them to have to deal with them, and possibly be hurt by their actions. One of Wolfie's greatest fears is hurting the people he loves because when he is in the middle of an episode, he says the most horrible things to whoever is closest to him. He doesn't mean it. I've tried to explain to him that this is merely a defense mechanism of his brain, to scare away anyone close to him, to hurt them before they can hurt him like so many people have hurt him before. It's very psychologically easy to understand, and once you realize what he's doing, and that it's not his fault, it's easier to deal with. He really deserves all the love a person can give him, he's been through so much, things that make so many other people just give up, but he's strong, and successful, and still has such a kind heart underneath everything... He thinks he's a monster, but he's really the most amazing person I know. It's funny that he took the job he's on now so he could make enough money to comfortably take a bit of time off, get me properly fully moved into the house, and spend some decent time with me without having to worry about work, and clients, and school and whatever. And because he chose that he got trapped in another country for several months longer than he should have been there. He feels bad that he's not here when I need him, but when do I ever not need him? I keep my shit together, and do what I need to do to get by, but that doesn't mean I don't fall asleep thinking about his arms around me every night. Or his lips against my forehead. Or how his eyes soften when he tells me how much he loves me. I absolutely need him.



11:54 Oct 30 2020

You are very lucky to have a Dom like he is many girls fall into that trap of fake Doms and your Master has taught you well. You are exactly what a Sub is supposed to be.


23:58 Oct 28 2020
Times Read: 90

If you can't tell...
My cat hates selfies xD
I told him to give me silly kitty face.
That is very angry kitty face...
Well, not really, he was purring, but he's side-eyeing me like I stole his sandwich xD



14:37 Oct 30 2020

awwww kitties always have the best expressions.


23:08 Oct 27 2020
Times Read: 134

As much as I love my Gothic fashion...

Half of me also really loves fluffy, bright, pink, flowers and butterflies pastel stuff.
I could never commit myself to one singular style because I've never been one singular thing. I have many sides, and styles to match. It's part of balance, dark and light, both are necessary.
I hope they have a killer Halloween sale because I want all of this...♥



23:37 Oct 27 2020

I like your taste in clothes

22:27 Oct 28 2020

nothing wrong with changing things up (keeps things interesting, no?)


16:06 Oct 27 2020
Times Read: 172

KS has started their Halloween sale so I already put in an order ^^
So many pretty things to sell♥
I may keep some of it, but probably resell most. I've actually got an order from them arriving here today also full of pretty dresses. I love what I do :3
Although I did get a couple things that are definitely for me.
Maybe it's the Sub in me, but I've always been particularly fond of that dress design...
Is there a greater Master than Death?



17:15 Oct 27 2020

very nice


01:36 Oct 26 2020
Times Read: 235

I'm in love with this hair color...
I actually used a purple color called Velvet Violet by Manic Panic, and this is what it turned into. More pink than purple, but I'm not complaining. I've also tested out my new KVD makeup I ordered a week or so ago. It's so good. I love the foundation. I'm not a heavy foundation kinda girl, but when I first opened it, and saw how runny it was, I was kinda worried. But it's amazing, it matches my skin perfectly. I got one shade above the lightest they had because I'm pale as fuck xD Obviously, I don't really do sunlight. That's possibly why I'm 32 years old, and have the skin of a 16 year old. I also used their concealer, and two different eyeliners. Now they make something called lash liner that's specifically made for lining your waterline... And it is miraculous. It is angled so perfectly, it makes putting the bottom liner on so much easier, and faster, highly, highly recommend. Then I used a blush/highlighter from their Fetish palette, I wanna say the color was called Coven, maybe? Or Salem? I'm also wearing one of my new Killstar lipsticks, Dusk. It's a really bizarre color because in the bottle it looks sandy nude, it applies mauve, but then dries to almost pinkish red? I dunno. It's really pretty, looks great with my hair. People were complaining the KS lipsticks are too dry, but it's matte, what do you expect? I think they've been fine, and they actually are pretty darn smudge resistant which I appreciate.
Anyway, the results are nice, I just decided to dye my hair on a whim. I was going to do a pastel blue/green, maybe next. I just look so fuckin' gorgeous in pink :3



01:45 Oct 26 2020

Thought it was supposed to be half one color and half another for some reason.

Turned out very nice.

02:11 Oct 26 2020

wow. you look wonderful

14:00 Oct 26 2020

Very nice.


16:47 Oct 25 2020
Times Read: 275

Dying half hair pink🎶
Wearing no makeup 'cause I don't givea fuck🎶



18:13 Oct 25 2020

looks good cutexbutxpsycho

19:28 Oct 25 2020

you have such gorgeous skin:)


01:06 Oct 25 2020
Times Read: 314





14:57 Oct 23 2020
Times Read: 363

This is definitely one of those, fuck everything/everyone, I'm staying in bed with my cat, and pizza kinda days...



15:59 Oct 23 2020

03:12 Oct 24 2020

awww adorable! Hello Kitty rocks too c:

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