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cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

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26 entries this month
 

06:59 Sep 16 2021
Times Read: 29


Another amazing find off my longterm wishlist.
P0
This bodysuit.
This is so rare, and so highly sought after, and I got it in perfect condition in my size for $25. Yeah. I could probably resell this for $250... if I didn't love it so much myself xD
The funny thing is I remember back in 2017 when this was still available on their site, and I always kicked myself for not buying it especially since it's worth so much now. This was back when Killstar's designs were more awesome, and less garbage than they are today. I really wish they'd bring some of these back. It's just derivative anymore. Here's another tartan mini skirt, here's another black pleated skirt with a chain, here's another black velvet dress with a white collar. They just keep doing the same shit over and over... Either that or they cover everything in Satan, and it's just like... No thanks, I'm good xD

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06:06 Sep 15 2021
Times Read: 74


Wolfie says that everything is going according to plan with getting us residency into Europe. Surprisingly, he still hasn't sold the house in Denver, he said it's last resort if we absolutely can't get me moved there we'll go back to Denver. It's kinda ridiculous that as a citizen of this planet they make it nearly impossible to move between countries. You don't want bad people tracking their shit in, I get that, but then it makes it so hard for just normal people who wanna live there, live there. If I'm clean then why do I need a reason to be there? We're hoping I'll be able to get in after Wolfie is approved just based on our relationship. I guess a lot of people will get married just to live in another country, and that is very frowned upon so they want proof of relationship, length and what not. That's fine, that's easy enough. Wolfie shouldn't have any trouble. He's lived in Europe before, most of his family is in the area, he's got a lot of people who will vouch for him, and he's coming in with a lot of experience in crisis management. He also speaks about a billion languages so he's an excellent translator. So hopefully they'll let me slide in with him without too much fuss. He's been remodeling our new apartment there already, giving it a brand new kitchen which I'm super excited about. And there's a balcony for the kitties to go out on to. It's really hard for him to feel at home, he was moved around so much as a kid it's been difficult for him to settle anywhere. He's always telling me he just wants to feel safe. If this, being there, will give him that then I'm happy to follow. You know me, I'm happy wherever I'm at, I'm not picky. The house in Denver was nice, but I never saw it as our forever home, I always knew it'd be temporary. He said he got the best residency lawyer around, someone who's been doing it 30+ years so they've been coming up with other ways to get me there just in case. Like, his Aunt has some properties she needs managed, and she could hire me to manage them which would mean going there for business. Although his aunt is like mega rich, and a bit intimidating xD Especially since he's her only nephew, and no nieces so it's like... yikes, who knows if I even have her approval. He says she likes me, but... I really gotta win her over. And then his dad lives in Italy so I might finally get to meet him since they've been trying to patch things up. Then there's figuring out my medical stuff, but that's pretty simple. To be honest... I haven't gone to the doctor in longer than I should have. I feel good, perfectly fine, and I'm afraid that if I go they'll tell me how bad it actually is, like I'll just suddenly deteriorate right there. I know that's silly, and if Wolfie knew how long it's been he'd be pretty cross with me. It's just one of those things where I'm like, ok, maybe next week for like a year xD I need to be more responsible. I'll definitely have to go to the doctor before I move so I guess I've kinda just been waiting on that. An average transplant lasts 12-20 years, and I'm going on 14 October 30th. So I guess it would be appropriate to get it checked by then. Like I said, I feel fine, but organ failure usually isn't instantaneous, it happens over time. I don't really remember what it felt like last time. I know I was sick a lot as a kid, and I used to have these bizarre dreams that these people with huge eyes were standing over my bed, staring at me. Totally silent, just staring... Not that, that has anything to do with my illness, it's just a really vivid memory from my childhood xD

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03:24 Sep 14 2021
Times Read: 98


Alice And The Pirates Vampire Nocturne...
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...in red.
I found it.
Unfortunately, it's in Australia. But I did message the girl selling it, and told her whatever the price of shipping, I'll take it. She's only charging $250 for the dress which is like, actually insane considering how rare, and beautiful it is, so another $50 for shipping would still be a steal. Ok, I have a Lolita dress addiction, but I do always sell them for more than I paid so it's beneficial at least. Wolfie was telling me earlier today that once I'm there we can go to the opera, and get Gelato, and find me some nice Italian shoes since Italy is right there next to where he's moving us. Venice is only two hours away by car, and he's really excited to bring me there. His lawyer said that once his paperwork goes through there's a chance I'll be granted residency just by association. That if we can prove we've been in a relationship for at least 5 years, and that we intend to live together, and continue to be in a romantic relationship together, then they might let me move there with him just from that. He said his lawyer is making up a petition to send to the government anyway, and they'll send it in after Wolfie is approved. Hopefully it'll be that easy, we did just pass our 5 year anniversary, and we can always provide proof, pictures together, videos, I've even got texts, and emails between us from 5 years ago because I'm a psycho xD He said that they probably won't require all that, especially since he has a lot of people in Europe who can vouch for him, I just wish it didn't take so long. I love my life here, but... I love it more with Wolfie❤

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23:14 Sep 13 2021
Times Read: 125


Many pretty new things❤
You know I gotta show the shoes first xD
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They're so... pink, and spikey and perfect. It was one of those fated things where they only had them left in my size so I knew the Universe wanted me to have them. That happens constantly to me, and I totally use it to justify buying things xD But I did want them for work since my boss doesn't give a fuck. He did say they were talking about getting cute uniforms for us employees, which I would love, but he said most of them were super slutty xD Hey, if it'll help the shop, I'm down, I'll wear it. I took this picture for Wolfie a few weeks ago...
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And I was like, hey, Wolfie, I'm getting ready for work ^^
"You are going to put more clothes on though, right, beloved?"
Well... xD I mean, obviously.

And here is my new hoodie.
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Big, oversized, comfy hoodies are completely necessary in my wardrobe, and this one is awesome. It should be because fuck, these sell for $72. I will totally throw down $500 on a dress, but hoodies, and tops in general I'm a bit more conservative about. This one was worth the money though, it's super soft inside, and I love the design. As much as I like the zombie wolf Emperor card, this one is so me. And because I'm an eternally lucky bunny... I got number 13 according to the sticker inside ^^
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I did get a couple new dresses.

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Both of them have that gorgeous rose design, but I really loved both styles so I got them both. There was also a really pretty rose corset so I got it too...
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I do think I like the black just slightly better, I can already see myself with my cute little red coffin carry-on❤

And last because I'm still a spooky bitch, this oversized shirt.
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Like I mentioned, I think, I really wanted this last year, but they sold out. But since everyone is bringing out the awesome Halloween stuff, this is back, and now it's mine, yay :3

So now... I have one dress in particular in my sights.
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It's by Hell Bunny, and I gotta say, it's probably my favorite design they've released in a couple years. It's so beautiful. It's $122, but hey, that's nothing, I gotta have it. I did just spend $282 on the Angelic Pretty... but this is non-negotiable❤

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23:03 Sep 12 2021
Times Read: 158


fa8be094-207a-41bf-a544-ba96374e57ba
Tracked down the Angelic Pretty Halloween Treats JSK in the white colorway. So rare. This was always my favorite colorway they did. I did own the OP version of this in red a few months back, but ended up selling it because I really would rather have the JSK, especially this version. I used the proxy service from Japan again, I've purchased several dresses straight from Japan through them, and I've never been disappointed, they always do an amazing job. It was only $282, and shipping will probably be around $30 so for a dress like this that could sell for $500-600, that ain't too bad. This has always been one of my favorite prints from AP, it's basically loads of cute, spooky things like bats, moons, cats, coffins, ghosts, etc, but they're made out of sweets. So coffin cakes, cook bats, marshmallow ghosts. It's the epitome of creepy sweet which is one of my favorite styles especially for Lolita looks. I finally managed to break past 5,000 in my savings, and I go do this xD But I did just sell a $450 dress, and I am getting paid tomorrow so... I feel it's totally justified :3

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03:47 Sep 12 2021
Times Read: 180


New lingerie in❤
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Of course it's red. And yes, it says Evil.
It's perfect for me❤
Another pair of shoes sold. Then a dress for $450. I didn't really want to sell it so I had it listed for $500 thinking no one would come close to that. But someone sure did... To be fair, I loved the dress, but in about 18 months of ownership I've never actually worn it, and only tried it on once. So it needed to go, and they were so happy to get it. The shoes were nice too, but I'd like to get some more expensive heels, honestly. Wolfie is always telling me we need to upgrade my wardrobe, part of why I'm trying to get rid of so much, but I'm not going to say no to him buying me new clothes if they're within my style. He's supposed to be going to Paris before he comes to get me so he can pick up my new collar, and some lingerie from his favorite brand. I love it when he picks things out for me, he always gets the perfect thing❤

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05:42 Sep 11 2021
Times Read: 219


As much as I love my job the people are constantly trying to feed me xD They don't understand sticking to a regular, balanced, healthy diet. They get takeout every Friday, and Saturday night, and it's a big deal to get invited by them to join them to eat, they consider you part of the family to share food with you. And I usually allow myself a cheat day once a week, usually on Saturday, but they get kind of offended when I'm like, hey, I already ate a salad before I came in, thanks anyway. Well, only the lady who trained me really gets offended, everyone else is like, ok cool. She guilts me into it though xD I'm trying double hard to stick to my healthy eating, and exercise with the possibility of Wolfie coming to retrieve me soon, and she's making it very difficult by constantly trying to buy me food xD I know, what a terrible thing to complain about, but it's true. It's bad enough that I have to stare at all the ice cream and candy. That's why I have a cheat day, I get it all out of my system, and eat whatever I want on one day. I told Wolfie I want him to put me on a hard-core restricted diet once I'm there. Except for taking me out, and whatnot. If he takes me around Europe then I'll definitely have to try all the sweet things... But he says we'll probably hunker down for awhile since covid is still a thing, and I want him to watch my diet since... he's better at controlling me than I am xD If he tells me not to do something, or if I promise him something, I'm much more likely to keep my promise to him than to myself. I hate realizing how little self control I have, but I think that's one reason I really love having a Dom. He holds me accountable. He's going to make me eat Greek yogurt though😩
And then he said something about putting me on a liquid diet for a little while... I know, I know, I asked him for this, I accept his decisions. He's always telling me I don't need to lose an ounce of weight, he loves me exactly as I am, huge ass and all. I need to be toned up more than anything, and he says that between jogging, swimming, martial arts, and plenty of vigorous sex, we'll get there xD He was telling me a couple days ago how it's been so long since he's gotten a lapdance. Uh, yeah, I know exactly how long it's been, and if it ain't been that long then we're gonna have a lil chat where I lovingly completely fuckin destroy your entire existence xD
I love that when I say stuff like that to him he tells me how adorable I am :3

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21:33 Sep 10 2021
Times Read: 247


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Hell to the no xD Fuckin machine-gun questioning me.
See, this is kinda person who will buy from you then either:
a - Immediately try to make a return because of buyers remorse, and they will absolutely damage your item to get their return if need be
b - Rate you one star because of a teeny, tiny imaginary flaw they makeup even after you've answered their million questions, and given ass-kissing, bendoverbackwards customer service
There's no winning with a person like this. Sure. You might make a sale, but you'll regret it one way or another. I get wanting to know about something you're buying, but a lot of this stuff she could figure out for herself. Most of it is listed. The pictures, for example. She could also find reviews. They have some on YT. She could do her own damn research. Yeah, I'm here to help, I'm happy to, but don't be fuckin lazy especially if you're that worried about the quality. This is a brand new item, I don't know the quality or durability, I haven't tested it. Never said it was hard to get either. Said it's sold out. You can still get it if you wanna ship from another country. But it is possible. I also don't fuckin like that she demanded, not asked, that I take another picture with a person to show the size. Yes, she politely demanded, but still. My response, upon seeing this as I'm just waking up is, "Lol, no thanks, bye." Unprofessional? Absolutely xD But I ain't touching that one. And I hate to be that way, but no matter what you do, this person will be unhappy with what receive, guaranteed.
Other than that... It's a beautiful day ^^
All my packages are shipped, and I get to go to work later :3
Wolfie got the paperwork for both of us, finally. He's working on his, I think he said he needed to get it apostilled(?), and then once his is going he can come get me, and get my paperwork going. Hopefully. At least he has the paperwork now, that's a big step that took forever. He said it should be soon, but I've learned that in Wolfie terms, soon can be a week from now or a year or like five xD So... It's still just a wait, and see thing. Someone asked me, "Are you seriously just going to drop your entire life, friends/family/job, to move across the Universe be with this guy?"
Well... yeah. Yeah, that sounds like me xD
Dude. I'm not descending into the literal fuckin Underworld. Relax.
They told me I've always had a Little Mermaid personality disorder. That I'm always the one willing to give everything up to be with a guy. I wouldn't say that's a bad thing though. And it's definitely not all about/for him. It's not a bad thing to go out on your own, and have your own life. I've always been extremely sheltered by my family, and I'm grateful to them, and I love them, but I want to be out there, and do things for myself. And Wolfie would never let anything happen to me. He said he'd keep me on a leash at all times if he could. If only society would allow it xD
I mean, I wouldn't mind it❤

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06:41 Sep 10 2021
Times Read: 280


I know I want these for sure.
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But I can't quite decide which of these I like best...
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So I'm probably going to need them all. Each has it's own place. The designs are gorgeous, it's called Rose Funeral.

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20:13 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 303


And here is the lovely Casket Carry-on in red
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It's bigger than I thought it'd be. It looks pretty small in the pictures, but it's actually decent size. I had just been talking to Wolfie about my paperwork for moving, and it appeared on my doorstep. It's really beautiful. I did expect that eventually they'd make this in pink or velvet, but it looks like they're discontinuing them so I grabbed one while I could. I told Wolfie to bring me a pair of killer red heels to go with it. And candy... Lots of candy xD

I also got this ultra adorable sleep shirt covered in skeleton unicorns
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Annnnd some moon Reaper leggings.
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This was the last pair they had, and it just so happened to be in my size because I am a lucky bunny. If Wolfie does actually come to get me before it starts to really get cold I'm gonna feel kinda stupid for buying all these leggings for work xD But at least they'll sell well especially since I haven't worn any of them. I told him I really need at least 2 weeks notice beforehand. They've been so good to me I'm already gonna feel shitty for leaving them, but I at least wanna give them time to replace me. They have been training another older woman though so I don't feel that bad.

Finally, this absolutely gorgeous celestial set.
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The top is a bit big, but overall I'm happy with it.

So yeah... Trying to clear out my closet. Like the thing is, Wolfie is always talking about coming to get me, but there aren't any set in stone plans. So I'm not feeling super driven yet. When he tells me, "Ok, I'll be there in 2 weeks, you need to pack a 50 pound suitcase," that's when I'll panic, and probably have a massive moving sale because I was in my closet earlier, and I can barely slide the hangers over, there's just too much. I don't need to take an entire closet to another country so the time is coming to sit down, and really make some tough calls on what to take or sell or donate. I'm not great at deciding between things xD I did get rid of a lot a couple months ago, but it feels like I barely made a dent. Like I told my mom earlier at lunch,, it just doesn't feel real yet. Until he's here with the paperwork in front of me I don't think it'll hit me. Sometimes when we're talking about it, like he said he was at the embassy a few days ago, I suddenly got really nervous, like oh shit, he might be for real about this xD Look, it's been a long time coming, I just didn't expect for it to be immediately to Europe. I thought we'd be living in Denver first for awhile, I did like the house there, but I am glad we're getting away from his mother so I don't really mind. And it is a gorgeous place, it's got Austria and Italy and Croatia right there. It's just a lot all at once. That's kinda how it always is with him. Nothing is ever easy or simple, it's always crazy, but it's a lot if fun❤

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17:30 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 318


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The internal slapfight is real...
No, Aiyana. You'll never wear them. You'll shuffle them into the dark abyss that is your closet, and they will never see the light of day again.
But... but... pretty. You never let me have beautiful things😭
What?!?!
xD
The conversations in my head crack me up. If you could see my room you'd know what a feeble, spoiled child argument that is. I'm a Lolita dress hoarder. I love them with all my heart, and soul, but never wear them because I'm so afraid of ruining them. They deserve better than that. As perfect as they may be for me, it's better to simply admire them from afar.
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04:54 Sep 09 2021
Times Read: 352


After I delisted those shoes last night they wound up selling on another app today. By the same woman xD At least her card finally went through. Then I sold a hat for $75, one of my weekend purchases that I knew would sell quickly, and for a lot more than I paid. It only cost me £22 so that's a pretty nice profit. I'm sorry to see the shoes go, but if I do decide to buy them again I need a smaller size. And I did end up ordering those pink spikey combat boots so... They're on their way, and they are absolutely going to be work shoes since my favorite work shirt is also pink, and I got these super adorable pink, fluffy scrunchies to wear in my pigtails. Since I've been working, hair accessories have been a must. I'm required to wear my hair up so I do pigtails most of the time, and I like 'em to be a lil extra. I'm considering putting in an order to Disturbia for these.
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So cute and sparkly ^^
Makes me want to dye my hair again too. I always want to dye it after I've finally got it back to perfectly blonde xD
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21:21 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 382


A few weeks ago I bought this set in ivory... I might love the emerald more❤
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Though I will admit, this conversation may have me wearing green a bit more...
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I love that he calls me his queen, not his princess. Princess is so... not a queen.
Anyway. I'm surprised they're discontinuing these dresses/bodysuits. They sell really well, and they only just released them a few months ago. They've been doing that with a lot of stuff though, it seems like some stuff is barely out before it's either never restocked or shuffled off to the clearance rack. But they've also been doing a lot more new releases, practically ever week there's a fresh batch of stuff out. It's good in a way, but it's also starting to feel like their stuff is a bit repetitive.

And because spooky season is upon us.
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Granted, I will probably only ever wear this for September/October, but it's so cute and comfy :3

And here she is, the long awaited Abyss Patrol top.
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From far away this set doesn't look too unusual. But close up it's covered in little crescent moons, and all the buttons are pentagrams.
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This skirt has been one of my favorites for awhile now, but the top was significantly harder to find. If you're going to make a set that goes together you probably shouldn't discontinue one of the items, and not the other. It's kind of annoying. But I finally hunted it down, and it really looks beautiful together, now I just need the hat. I'm not a huge fan of military goth inspired looks, but this is more... naughty, witchy girlscout xD

Another design I've been hunting.
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Vampiric roses always remind me of Castlevania. There's a character, a blonde in a red dress of course, and you can only find her at a specific time at night, but if you do you'll get a scene that shows her watering a room full of roses with blood. I always loved that scene. There's something about things that are beautiful but vicious❤
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05:02 Sep 08 2021
Times Read: 431


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This is just necessary❤
But these are nice too...
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Come on, they're only $200, that's really not terrible for three beautiful dresses. I've had a very unfortunate experience with a potential buyer the last couple days. She offered me $92 for a pair of shoes I had up for $115. Even though they're sold out, and ai could definitely sell them for more, I've been trying to lighten my shoe collection, they're too big on me, and it's not an unreasonable offer. So I try to accept, and her card is declined. She messages me to say she's short a few dollars, and she'll have it the next night. Same thing happens, card declined, she's short a few dollars. And I feel bad about it because I know what it's like to want beautiful things, but not have the money for them. I can get whatever I like now, but a couple years ago I was majorly struggling. But you know what I wasn't doing when I was broke? Trying to buy shoes. Well, ok, maybe I was... But responsibly. And I was only going to end up making $73 on them after fees so... I ended up taking them down. That's $25 below retail, not great for business no matter how nice I'd like to be. Then I had someone else make me a $94 offer on a purse. Immediately after she paid she asked if she could pay for it tomorrow. But... you already paid. So... Some people just confuse me. But that's one purse down, at least. Now to get rid of just a few more xD I did buy a lot over the weekend, but it was all stuff I know I can sell quickly. If I can spend $800, and turn it into $3000 then that's a pretty easy choice. That's what I'm good at, taking a little, and making it into a lot. My boss learned the hard way to never gamble against me. We played several rounds of Black Jack, and Poker, and he lost every one xD I am a very lucky bunny🐇❤
And I love playing the helpless, "But I don't know how to play..." act. Then seeing their faces when I utterly destroy them. Constantly being underestimated is so much fun. The only person who has never underestimated me, who has always seen me for exactly what I am, is my beloved.
My boss is a major oversharer especially when it comes to other people's lives xD He'll tell me the things other people tell him that he wish he didn't know. Thanks for sharing... Like, there's a 19 year old girl who works there, and she's pretty slow working, and very socially awkward. That's nothing unusual because where I work, we're all a bit strange, I think it's a requirement, a merry band of misfits. He was telling me that she's never had a boyfriend, and thinks she's into ladies because of online relationships with other females. But that's all she's had in 19 years is completely online. And she's not ugly or really huge or anything. She's physically pretty normal as far as I can tell. But she's socially a bit weird like she doesn't know how to interact with human beings. I get it, humans fucking suck, but you have to get by somehow. Then my boss starts talking about his wife who is apparently asexual. She has absolutely no sexual drive, they've only ever done it to make their children. And I'm just thinking... this poor guy has to work with me all day, and he goes home to nothin'. That must be true love xD You shouldn't need sex to love someone or be with them, but it's pretty awesome so I dunno how well I'd handle that. Although, Wolfie and I do go lengths of time without especially when he's having really bad depressive episodes so I get it. If Wolfie decided he never wanted to do any of that again I wouldn't abandon him. He was telling me that despite having such a high sex drive he only ever wants me. And I never realized that it's the same with me. I am a completely insatiable sex fiend, but only for him. I don't ever even fantasize about anyone else. I just want him, all the time❤
Wolfie says it's mate bonding. I always willingly admit that the physical connection between us is phenomenal, but there's something there that's on another level. It's unexplainable.

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09:50 Sep 06 2021
Times Read: 475


I was reading something about dragons in D&D, and I was so happy when they were listing off different worlds for different series, and they mentioned Krynn. You know, most people probably have a fantasy world they'd feel at home in, Middle-earth or Faerun or Sanctuary. Maybe Lordran or Yharnam. As much as I love Dark Souls and Bloodborne, I really wouldn't want to live them... The point of those games is that the darkness is always eternally coming. You can put it off for awhile, maybe even a long while, it'll catch you eventually. But it never completely crushes the light either. There are always embers that reignite. There's always hope. It's all about balance, and we know how I feel about balance. Faerun is pretty close to my heart too though, especially Waterdeep. When I was a kid, maybe 5 or so, we'd get snowed in. My dad would make me cinnamon sugar toast, and I'd watch him play old D&D rpgs on the SNES. Back when most were turn-based, and pretty difficult. Hey, I will 100% admit that I am a nerd because of my father. Which is weird because my older sisters aren't at all. My brother is a bit, but not the same. He prefers Superman over Batman, and... that was not our childhood at all. We watched BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES, not fucking Superman. Though there was also a lot of Spiderman and X-Men. Lotta Pokémon. My dad showed me this video a few weeks ago, and he was so excited to show me...
https://youtu.be/5fP3C4hH3VU
And I'm just like... You know I don't like Drizzt xD I dunno, when I read through all those books as a kid I thought he was so overrated. I might feel differently if I read through them now as an adult. If only reading didn't make me so damn sleepy... I used to devour novels one after another, and now... Wolfie is always telling me books I should read since he's constantly reading. Everything from books to comics to webcomics to manga to poetry, and he loves to do translations especially older languages. I get sleepy just reading the backcover anymore xD Wolfie also loves to write, but he's been struggling with it for awhile now, writer's block. I think he felt like once he was where he wanted to be that he'd feel better emotionally than he does. And he is feeling somewhat better, but the depression is still there. And now he's saying that he just needs me there for him to really be more emotionally better. And I don't doubt that on some level that is true. But I also feel like he spends too much time trying to run away from or diminish his negative feelings instead of managing them. What happens when I get there, and he still has those horrible days? I'm not a cureall, he knows that even if I do help a lot it's never entirely going to go away. People with severe depression will often make spur of the moment decisions out of desperation to feel better. "If I just move somewhere else or leave my wife or quit my job then maybe I'll feel better, maybe if I just change everything I'll stop feeling so miserable." These drastic changes might help for a little while, but it won't keep it at bay for long. And it's hard living with so little control over your own emotions. That's one reason Wolfie is so controlling over other things because he can't control that. I want him to feel better, if moving back to Europe, and taking me with him to a nice peaceful, green place will help then I am all for it, I will drop everything and go. I just don't want him to run away from the actual problem. You can't run away from yourself.

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03:43 Sep 06 2021
Times Read: 503


I went with the red...
red-coffin-casket-case-1-x1600
We all knew I would. These are actually being discontinued so I finally decided to get one while I can. It'll match my red dresses so well.
I also put in an order for this super sexy dress, and waist belt.
2021-09-05-21-35-06
Although I was thinking I might wear it with the red version instead.
I did decide on The Moon, as well. A two-faced cat is much more me.
2021-09-05-21-37-27
And I wanted this ghost sweatshirt last year, but it sold out. They brought it back for spooky season, what a lucky bunny :3
And then I spent another $500+ at Killstar xD But mostly on stuff to resell. I did get the one set that I had gotten in ivory not too long ago, in emerald. Because Wolfie says he loves me in emerald...
Polish-20210905-214202265
You know how it goes, he says he loves something, I make it happen. We both agree my best color is red, but I like dark green too, it reminds me of deep forests♡

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18:18 Sep 05 2021
Times Read: 516


For my upcoming birthday I've decided I want to go to the Renaissance Festival. We haven't been in a few years, and yeah, it's literally basically the same stuff every year, but I always enjoy it. Obviously, I'm a huge nerd so... I always want to dress up, but I never do, just some pointy ears and glitter or something xD I do have a really pretty dragon horn headdress... And I've got some faux leather bat wings that could be dragon wings. This would also be the first year I have like a good chunk of money saved up so I can buy whatever I want. I started my business two years ago with $100 to my name, and now I usually manage to keep a few thousand stashed away at a time even with my major shopping addiction. I'm proud of me♡

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04:41 Sep 05 2021
Times Read: 545


Today felt like the longest day ever, and I don't even know why. Maybe because I had to work 6 hours, and I usually only do 4. But that means I'll only be missing 2 hours from my next paycheck, and I'll probably make those up next week. Anytime they ask if I want to work I tell them yes. Like, why not? The shop is less than a mile away, and I like having a steady paycheck. Even though selling shit online pays way better, it's not necessarily consistent. Of course, with the holidays coming up, that's usually when people are buying more so it's a bit better. It's crazy that it's already September, I feel like my life has sped up by like 100x. I ate way too much ice cream tonight xD They finally got my favorite kind back in, they have homemade ice cream that they get in from a couple towns over, and they make the absolute best cookie dough ice cream I've ever had. But everyone else loves it too so it sells out so fucking fast. I got two pints of it for myself, and ate one, and now I feel like I'm going to die, but it was totally worth it. I justify it by eating salad the rest of the week, weekends I get ice cream, and candy, and homemade cookies because the owner's mom sits back in the kitchen every Friday night, and bakes cookies, and I just... I can only resist for so long. It doesn't help that she loves me so she lets me eat as many as I want for free xD They pretty much let me have whatever I want for free, and it's funny because a former employee had come in a week or so ago, and she was super pissed off because I was using the register, and I guess in years of her working there they had never taught her to use it, but they taught me at like... my second week xD And neither of the teenagers know how to either so I'm just like, teacher's pet over here :3 Or... owner's pet? Wait, that sounds really bad xD I'm pretty sure my boss doesn't see me that way, he treats me more like a little sister, and that's awesome. He, and his wife have two kids, 6 and 2, who are always in there, and I love getting to play around with them since they remind me of my nieces and nephews. They bug the hell outta me while I'm trying to work, but I really don't mind, I feel like part of the family :3

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06:30 Sep 04 2021
Times Read: 594


I swear people make it their mission to ruin my goddamn night xD Like, when they're interested in something, and message me solely to let me know that they would totally make me an offer, but their offer would probably be too low, and just piss me off. You know what really pisses me off? Going out of your way to tell me all that, like you're hoping I'll just hand the dress over to you for $20 out of pity, instead of just making me the fucking offer. I usually don't block lowballers unless they either consistently lowball me on several items or, after I've made them an extremely good offer, they nickel and dime me trying to negotiate over $1. Was it really worth offering me $49.99 immediately after I offered it to you for $50? Are you deliberately being an assclown or are you just stupid? Then there are the people who message me just to tell me how much they like something I'm selling, but they just can't afford it. If you're gonna beg for a handout at least be upfront about it. I have a gorgeous pair of boots up for sale that originally retailed for $150. I have them listed at $250 because they're super popular, and completely sold out. She asks if there's any way I can come down on price because she just NEEDS them. Dude, they're pentagram boots, relax, they're not going to fucking define your existence. You'll probably wear them once then sell them just like I am xD But, because I am so supremely generous, and because I'm trying to lighten my shoe collection to prepare for moving, I'm willing to let them go for $200. Oh... She's so sure someone will buy them for that price. If only I'd lower it a little more because she sold her personal pair for $150, and she REALLY NEEDS THEM AGAIN. Yeah, no, not happening. It's not that I'm trying to be a bitch, but I know eventually these will sell for $250, the only reason I'm willing to take $50 off is because I'm trying to get rid of things, but I'm not desperate to, I can always take them. That's the thing about most platform boots, they look really heavy, but they're actually super lightweight, they wouldn't be expensive to ship, buuuuut I would like to take as little as possible so here we are. That's one thing I hate about selling shit online, people don't do these things in stores. They don't go to Target, and tell the cashier, "I really need this blender, but I only have $10 sooooo... we got a deal here or what?" Why do people feel like just because they're buying it online that they're entitled to a massive discount on everything? I'm happy to negotiate, but "Give me 50% off everything" isn't a negotiation. But then I go to this person's ratings, and see that they have several transactions, most of which are cancelations. That's not a good sign. Why does she cancel so much? She also asked me to hold them for a day because, "I'll totally buy these tomorrow, promise." Tomorrow came, never heard from her which is why I don't do holds. Someone else was pestering me today to hold a couple necklaces I have for sale for two weeks... Because I was going through my jewelry, and I've got stuff from like 10+ years ago that I haven't worn in forever, and probably won't so I made a big lot just to get rid of them, and of course people wanna pick them apart. That's fine, but if you have to wait two weeks to get $25, you should probably reconsider your buying priorities. If you're that hard up I don't think an Invader Zim necklace is going to be a good investment, just saying. That, and the fact that I've already had like three other people ask me about that same necklace, I don't really want to hold it for a $20 payout in two weeks, ya know? It's not really worth it. I did manage to sell one pair of boots today for $250 though, a different pair than the pentagram ones. I went ahead, and blocked her. I did a little investigation, and found her on a different app, and she still has the boots she claims she sold, for sale. Like... why lie though? And she doesn't even have them listed for $150, they're up for $80. I dunno what her deal is, but that combined with the huge cancelation rate screams scammer. I'm happy to keep them if they never sell for the right price, I made really awesome sales this week, kinda makes my actual paycheck look incredibly worthless xD But hey, I'm not in my job for the money, I'm in it for the candy obviously. I do genuinely love my job though, the people there are awesome, my boss is always asking if I'm happy working there. It's funny, people have noticed how hard I work, and I've gotten some other job offers. I've considered getting a second job just because I do really love to work, but I dunno yet. I think the problem with this job is that it offers no challenge, any body could do it. I don't know what I'll do when I move, if I'll even be able to work there. Wolfie obviously takes a lot more attention in person, and there's decorating the apartment, maybe the Summer house, I also told him I really want a horse xD So hopefully there's somewhere close to board one, I've sent him on a mission to find that out, and figure out the best place to get pizza. Because he told me there weren't any pizza places around that he had found yet, and I was just like... well, good luck out there xD But beyond that I don't know. He does know someone who owns a Gelato store near the apartment so maybe my ice cream credentials will hold up over there xD

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05:18 Sep 04 2021
Times Read: 613


Polish-20210903-230611299
Do I want faux leather or knit?
Naturally, I already ordered the red dress. I've got the perfect heels for it, and my favorite red velvet collar with the little "Kitten" heart charm.
The answer is, as always, both. But I really like the length of the knit.

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05:43 Sep 03 2021
Times Read: 645


Polish-20210902-234024235
The truth comes out xD
Except I like to keep things equal, the dark and the bright...
Whoever could be just one single thing?
It's so boring❤
I was telling Wolfie about my dream, the phone calls, and he said, "Maybe the man on the phone was actually your darker, more stabby side manifesting as male."
It's adorable that he thinks my "stabby" rage-filled side would have to be male. I don't quite think he's on base. I definitely knew the voice on the phone, it's someone I've spoken to a great deal obviously, but it's been so long I can't quite place the voice.
I remembered more of my dream as I was talking to him. That I had walked home, and sitting in my front yard was a huge wolf. I thought it was going to eat my cat, and with no regard for myself ran into the yard, and grabbed my cat as he came walking into view. But the wolf didn't attack, it wasn't vicious, it just stood there.
I dream about cats a lot. And wolves. And snakes.
I'm always trying to protect or save cats in my dreams.
So Wolfie tells me I probably dreamt of a giant wolf because I'm always thinking about fluffy things.
Well. I'm usually thinking about him. And... he's really too thin to be considered fluffy. Though emotionally fluffy with me, sure. And he is much taller than me. The other strange thing is that the house on my dream wasn't even my house, but in my dream it was. It's actually a house I remember from another dream. Isn't it bizarre that in dreams you don't remember the waking world? The craziest things happen, and it's just like... you don't even realize it. Makes you wonder which world is actually real. When are you actually awake? Are you ever?

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21:24 Sep 02 2021
Times Read: 673


I'm looking for a new hoodie, and I came across Mortus Viventi.
2021-09-02-15-18-16
Now to decide which one... Probably Moon or Emperor. I really REALLY love that the Emperor is like an undead wolf, but the Moon is more me. They're having a sale, 3 for 2 on shirts so I'll probably go ahead, and get shirts for the other designs. $152 for a hoodie + 3 shirts is really pretty reasonable. Killstar is also doing a 25% off sale, but I'm not sure there's really anything I need right now since I spent $450 there last weekend xD I dunno what I want, but I definitely need a new hoodie from somewhere, and I love the designs on the Mortus Viventi.
Speaking of which... A few more new arrivals.

Botany Top + Gunner Skirt
2021-09-02-15-59-07
I so love the top, it's really beautiful especially the sleeves. I'm a sucker for designs on sleeves. The skirt is cute, I love tartan, but... it's strange. It comes with a detachable utility pouch xD
2021-09-02-16-01-37
I mean, I guess that's useful? I'll probably take it off, but it's sure something.

Cat Lord Tee
2021-09-02-16-02-59
I've been buying a lot of KS shirts lately. They're just super comfy to sleep in, and this one is so me. It's literally a tiny blonde witch with cats xD

Vampire Bait Corset Top
2021-09-02-16-05-13
So this is one of their most popular items. This top is constantly sold out, but I did finally manage to get my hands on it. I don't necessarily see why people are so in love with it... It's pretty. But I don't think qualitywise it's worth $50. That's why I waited til I could get it for 45% off. I haven't tried it on yet, and I do think it'll look ultra adorable with a mini skirt, crop jacket and boots.

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23:51 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 699


Two of my latest orders made it in today so I have a bunch of new stuff.

2021-09-01-16-19-26
This is probably my favorite dress of the haul. It's so simple yet elegant. It's covered in little velvet bats. I also really love the length. I don't typically enjoy longer dresses, but lately I've been buying them as an attempt to mature my style a bit, and this one is perfect, definitely a new favorite, I love it.

2021-09-01-16-12-23
And here we have a new nightgown. One of Killstar's newer releases, actually. They also released one covered in flowers, and deathmoths that I also plan to get, but I really wanted this one first, and when I showed them both to Wolfie he said he liked this one better so I made the right choice xD Although... I may replace the cross charm with a little moon, just personal preference. Otherwise, it's gorgeous. Wolfie was asking me if I would prefer him to bring me red lingerie or black lingerie when he comes to retrieve me. He already knows the answer is both... But if I absolutely had to choose I'd choose red❤

2021-09-01-16-18-062021-09-01-16-18-38
This skirt is so adorable ^^ I love chibi reapers.

2021-09-01-16-17-142021-09-01-16-17-44
And chibi Beetlejuice :3

2021-09-01-16-16-38
And more Beetlejuice xD Although unfortunately they only had the bigger sizes left so this is a bit big on me. Hopefully they'll restock so I can get a smaller size.

2021-09-01-16-19-55
Speaking of ghosts... This adorable ghosty dress. Two of my favorite things are ghosts and bats. I knew this was going to sell out fast, and the day after I ordered it was completely gone xD But I get it, it's super cute, I wanted it as soon as I saw it.

2021-09-01-16-16-06
I'm also stocked up on leggings now. The one thing I said I was buying for work, and they are actually for work xD But... I kinda don't wanna wear them to work because they'll get covered in sugar. I haven't really worn pants in like... 15 years, the only time I ever wear leggings is for riding horses, but I do need these for work when it gets colder. Going to work in shorts when it's -10 just seems silly...

2021-09-01-16-13-45
Another newer release from Killstar, the Blood Bound dress. Makes me want to play Bloodborne now. I didn't think I'd want to for awhile after I got the platinum, but... I have the urge.

2021-09-01-16-14-26
A few accessories just because they were buy 2 get 1 free. New kitty ears, Harley Quinn scrunchies, and a necklace set I bought entirely because one says Hello Kitty.

2021-09-01-14-50-47
And finally my Lore Olympus backpack ^^ One reason I love the Hades and Persephone myth is because Wolfie is always telling me stories. He always tells me stories, and I dunno, I just love it. Of course, they're usually stories that remind him of us, but that's really sweet, and adorable that he sees our story in so many things. He especially loves to tell me old Russian folktales which almost always seem to have a very dark, disturbing ending, but I like that. How many things in life really end happily?

I've got another KS order coming in tomorrow, and various other things trickling in throughout next week. I expect the Labor Day sales to be going strong this weekend, and I did just get paid yesterday so...

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18:19 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 725


I had a bizarre dream last night. And I've always been an extremely long, vivid dreamer.
My phone began to ring, and the caller ID popped up, and it said "Me" on the screen. So... of course I answered, and the voice, my own voice in the speaker said to me, "I'm you. Is this me?" And as I tried to reply to myself the bitch hung up on me.
And then... my phone rang again. I answered it again. But it wasn't me this time. It was a man's voice. A voice I knew, but I couldn't remember who it was. It was a voice I knew I hadn't heard for so long, but it was so familiar to me. And now I can't remember what he said to me.
And then I began to lucid dream, to manifest things because I knew I was dreaming, and I told myself to remember the phone calls, what I said to myself, but I didn't really say anything so I'm not sure what I want from me xD

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immorteb
immorteb
21:36 Sep 01 2021

Lol it sounds like you didn’t listen to you, that is indeed interesting





 

04:08 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 556


2021-08-31-21-53-56
Fucking fuck, I love Cradle of Filth, especially their earlier stuff. Ever since I was like a preteen their music just has always made me so happy. My boss was asking me what my favorite music is, and his is country so I'm like, welllll... xD I don't hate country music, the older stuff always reminds me of my childhood. It just all sounds exactly the same to me so it's not appealing. It's not pretty. For whatever reason Death Metal is like the most gorgeous music ever, it always has been for me. The lyrics are goddamn poetry. I can't relate to getting drunk, and acting stupid which is what 99% of country music to me sounds like. It's fine, it's just not something I can connect with. I don't think any less of my boss for liking it, or playing it in the shop although I do prefer when he puts either the old 50s music or his wife's video game music on because she's like a huge old-school gamer so I really like her too. And they're all very religious, but they don't judge me which is nice. I'm not anti-religious or anything, I'm just kinda used to people like that taking one look at me, and whispering like I'm the devil. Which is ridiculous, I'm much prettier, and much, much more clever xD Wolfie says, "A queen is different from a king. A woman is just as strong as a man, but where a man is expected to be upfront and honest, a woman must be wily and cunning." I think I've got that covered. It wouldn't surprise me that he would think all women are liars and manipulators. His father abandoned him, and left him to be raised by an absolute monster. That's one reason I'm so protective of him, the people in his life, mainly the women, have monumentally let him down, kinda like the men in my life. Although my boss was talking to my father, and he told me how smart my dad was saying I am, that I've always been ridiculously intelligent. That's the one thing he always praises me for, not my creativity, my resilience, my strength, no, he always tells people how intelligent I am. Maybe that's the one thing he admires in me because he constantly criticizes me otherwise which is why I avoid speaking to him as much as possible. But it's nice to know I'm not a total fuckup, letdown as a daughter xD

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01:13 Sep 01 2021
Times Read: 591


I finallllllllyyyyy found the Abyss Patrol top💜🌙
Polish-20210831-182517098
I love this design, I already have the skirt, but Unfortunately they stopped making the top a long time ago so I've been hunting it, and finally managed to buy it for a whole $10... I nearly bought it for like $85 once when I found some obscure European shop selling it. I also saw the hat for sale somewhere recently so if it's still there I may grab it just to have the set...

I also found their Divine Comedy dress for only $25.
divine-comedy-skater-dress
Another design I absolutely adore, the teeth, and all the red, red roses just draw me in. I did have this in a skirt, crop top set, but it was entirely too big on me so I sold them for $150. So finding the dress in perfect condition for as cheap as $25 is kinda ridiculous.

Then I managed to find another one of these lovelies.
95663-3
For only $38, I usually manage to resell these for $150, but I may keep this to myself. But there I go again hoarding big purses that I'll never use xD Though... Technically this is a backpack.

And THEN...
Polish-20210831-183832954
I found this, another one of my favorite designs. Velvet, Gothic, zodiac constellations, and it's hooded which I completely love. It's almost that Libra time of year, really the best, most perfect time of year :3

I've also got 3 $200+ orders coming in this week. Yes, I know, I'm supposed to be clearing out, but... If I get the chance to buy stuff that I can resell for a lot more, I'm not going to pass that up. Wolfie may hate me when he gets back, and sees all the shit we have to pack xD But we still don't know when he'll get back, it could be months from now, it could be next Summer, I can't just shut down my business waiting on him to get here. When it's time, we'll figure it out. If nothing else I can always leave things here, and either have them shipped to me or shipped to buyers because I would like to keep shop open here too, I'll just need someone to help me ship things on this side. And like I mentioned, Wolfie wants to put some money into my business to help it grow, but we'll have to figure that all out later. He's still waiting to hear from the lawyer about my paperwork so we're kind of at a standstill for now so I'm not worrying too much about it. That's the difference between me, and Wolfie... He needs control, and that means he needs to plan everything out constantly. I am the opposite, I never have a plan, I throw myself onto the whims of Fate, but I am excellent at coming up with things last minute, at thinking on my feet when things go wrong. When things go wrong for Wolfie it can ruin his entire day, but that's where I thrive, in challenge, in opposition. We really are so different, how we ever fell so madly in love with each other is just part of the random chaos I love so much. He expected to spend his entire life alone, but then... There was me🐇

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