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Walking though the forest at night is calming to me. There is a layer of thick fog clinging the ground. I can just bairly



make out the figure of one that I once loved. I run to her. As I run she gets smaller as if I am running away. Soon she



is gone but I can still hear her voice and I can still smell her sweet sent. It reminds me of better times when life was



good. Now i'm trapped. Traped in this forest of hell. I can't escape from the dreams that haunt me. They are never



ending feelings of sorrow. I come to a cave with a celler door and i hesitate to open it. But I realise that I truly have



nothing to lose. Noone loves me so I bravely open the door and to my astonishment it is an outward manefestation of



how I feel inside. As I gaze into nothingness I feel cold. This isn't new. I've felt all different types of cold in the past.



But there was something different about this it was as if something was in that cave staring back. A monster of some



sort. Something that I hated more than anything. I decide to venture into the cave. Among my travels I stumble many



a times I decide to find a wall with the hopes of finding my way out. The wall is cold and slippery. As I inch towards



the direction in witch i belive the door to be I find a switch. At first I ignore it I look behind me and feel that same cold



hateful stare. I quickly turn back and flip the switch. The lights go on. I turn to see who it was that I hated so much.



All I could see was a giant mirror and i was standing in the middle of it. I see what seems to be a never ending drop



off. I walk to the cliff and I say staring into the mirror I always knew that I hated you I jump towards the mirror and



smash it and as I fall to my long awaited death with shards of broken glass all around me I cry out nothing will be left



of me not even my reflection......

RANDOM SHIT ON LOVE!!!



Today when I woke up I felt like shit. I am so fucking lonely. Today was just one of the bad days for me. I need someone to care for and worry about. I need someone to love. Yeah I know that it sounds crazy. You are probly asking yourself why would you want to worry about someone. All I can say is I don't know. I need Someone to love me they same way I love them. Why is love so diffucult. I hate but love it at the same time. Love isn't for everyone though. Some hate the idea. I don't understand how one can hate love. Maybe they were hurt one too many times and they gave up. Or maybe they learnd about love by watching their mom and dad fight all the time. Love isn't worth giving up on. It can make your life feel perfect even if it isn't. Having that special bond with another can open up your life and show you things you never thought possable. Love is almost impossable to find cause many people think of love the wrong way. They think of love as lust and that isn't the way it is. It's funny. Those "love is" things in the paper. Many of them are true but not all. People who collect them are the true liers. They collect them cause they are cute not on the message they are trying to get across. Even if one did collect them for the message they are being totally hypocritical. Love is the best emotion in the whole spectrum of human emotion. Sometimes love can be over come by hate. You become blinded because of one that you love doing something horrable. Even if it was an accident. You find some way to sabbotage the relationship that you both worked so hard to establish and maintain. You become cruel and lash out at the littelest things and for what cause of the past? So here you are destroying something that is so hard to find cause of a little mistake that is over and done with. Love has many powers it has the power to give and take life. It has the power to make life perfect and it can destroy it. Why do people choose the more negative aspects of love when the possitive side is so much more fufilling. I don't understand it. Do people turly want to be treated like shit their whole life? If so, why. Is it the subconcious mind that makes you want that or do you know that being treated that way is what you truly want. If so, why. The point of purposefully being misirrable is odd to me. I don't understand when someone has the chance to feel loved they choose to feel hated. In this I think of Heven and Hell. I think thay are both here on earth and we choose where we want to live. Heven being true love and Hell being the love that you want that brings pain and suffering. There are guys out there that want to bring Heven to others. As few as there are they are still out there. I know cause I am one. I don't try to be anything I am not. I think my purpose here is to give everything I can to make others lives easer. To make them feel loved. To make them feel perfect. That is my role in this life time. My whole life i've done nothing but study and practice how to be the "perfect guy". But even now I am not. Try as I may it's impossable. There will always be things that I have to fix or become better at. So why even try you may ask me. The answer is this why not. Why wouldn't I want to be the best person I can be or the best lover I can be or the best boyfriend or fighter for protecting the ones I love or .... The list is endless. The only thing that I wish for is that people stop wanting to be treated like shit. Cause that is something I can not do. It's not in my nature I am dark mysterious even because any one that still wants to know me after that is worth reciving all the feelings of joy and happiness that i can give. Needless to say there aren't many people who take the time to know me cause like I said people want to be treated like shit.....

COMMENTS

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DarkFeline
04:05 Jun 13 2009

Deep, heartfelt and so true. I agree with you 100%!

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