I sit in this darkness. It has come to be the only thing I can count on. I have grown used to it over the course of my life. Of course there are moments of light, but fleeting they are. I try to keep myself occupied by reading, music, tv.. every so often video games.. but the moment that I am alone and start to think.. the darkness consumes me. No matter what. People try to offer advice, to help, hence the light moments. But after a time it starts to not truly make a difference.
You can call it depression or sadness, perhaps even loneliness, it doesn't change the creeping feeling that has become a part of yourself. Very few things break though this darkness and constant hurt.. But it never seems to last enough.
I know most do not really care, nor do I blame them. It is what it is. You try to do your best and keep moving forward.. always forward. Try not to slip into old habits that are harming. Try to block out the thoughts... But in the end, behind closed doors they always win.
Now I normally do not share anything of a personal nature. Or try not to rather. And I am not looking for comments or sympathy. Just trying to clear my thoughts a bit.
Even if you don't want comments, I'm gonna do it anyway :3
I care. If you lost my number let me know. I know that depression makes people isolate themselves. But ya know, you're never a bother, and I'm always around to text if you need to talk.
You know where to find me. Muaks Teddy. Hang in there
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