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3 entries this month
Mo(u)rning
18:52 Apr 19 2006
Times Read: 663
Blood on my arm
Friend held close
Tears to cleanse
Shattered breaths in the silence
Glassy eyes reflecting pain
Showing me what others see
I stare away
Numb thoughts running through my brain
Close my eyes
Wishing this all away
Bite the lip
Hold back the urge
Temptation dripping upon my flesh
Block it out
The need
The want
The long lost feeling
Such a lovely color to leak
Dream of the pain
Lock it all away
Hide the key
Pull the friend closer
Smile and laugh
Beyond the sweet facade
Behind the empty laugh
Beneath the forced smile
I cry
I never smile
I always hurt
Now I hold this friend close
And pray that they feel some joy
Some hope in life
That the sun still feels warm on their face
I feel their heart beating beneath their skin
I smile
Inside I smile
Their heart beats strongly
As if with love
With hope
With life
Things I will always crave
Things I will never have
Close my eyes to dream of something else
Something that I can achieve
Something that I've been all along to everyone else
Mutter
21:12 Apr 12 2006
Times Read: 672
You say you love me
All you do is for "me"
You claim to like who I am
Then Truth comes
It hits me in my soul
The wound spreading into a gash
Mother's are supposed to love their children
Yet you only used me
Beat me down when you felt bad
Did it make you feel better
Did it make you swell with pleasure the day I left
Or are you ready to say sorry
Sorry again...for all that you do and all that you've done
Do you regret what you did that day because you love me
Or simply because you miss having that scapegoat
I know what you are
Who you truely are
The person you hide in public
The one underneath the surface
You make comments to friends to make me seem so evil
As if with one look I could devour one's soul
You make me sick
You and your lies
Everything you are is a joke
For You
21:05 Apr 12 2006
Times Read: 673
In hell I already dwell
Bleeding
Everything you said
Laughing
I watch as you mock all that I am
Crying
Dreams filled with your face remind me
Lusting
I scream into the night
Needing
Crawling along I try to escape this hold you have on me
Trapped
You find my feelings for you amuzing
Wounded
I take this knife to kill the part of me that loves you
Dying
I lay upon the floor
Covered in wounds
I bleed
I dream
I cry
I die
And it's all for you
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