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XLostXLokiX's Journal


XLostXLokiX's Journal

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7 entries this month
 

Broken Pieces

17:26 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 580


Broken Pieces



I am broken pieces of everything I take in.

I am broken pieces of my Mom and Dad

I am little of my Mom’s love for me all the time I was with her.

I am pieces of everything I learned from her.

I am little of my dad’s love for me all the time I was with him.

I am pieces of everything I learned from him.

I am broken pieces of everyone in my life the good and bad people.

I am broken pieces of all the good times in my life.

I am broken pieces of all the bad things in my life.

The broken pieces make me who I am the good and bad parts.

I am broken pieces of the love I have gotten from others.

I am broken pieces of the hate I have gotten from others.

The broken pieces of love and hate are how I deal with others.

I am broken pieces of my sorrow.

I am broken pieces of my pain.

I am broken pieces of my Dreams.

The broken pieces of my Dreams are a window to my mind and how it works.

I am broken pieces of my nightmares.

The broken pieces of my nightmares are things I do not like about myself and my fears.

I am broken pieces of everything it’s my heart and soul and body.

I am broken and with time I will fix what is broken and my poems will help.

I am the Angel who needs love.

I am the Devil who hates you.

I am the mad man in the shadows watching the world.

I am shy boy who needs a helping hand.

I am that brat who never listens to you.

I am the fool who does not get why people like him.

I am all these broken pieces and so much more.


COMMENTS

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Mad Dream

17:20 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 576


Mad Dream



I am evil

I am good

I am One

I see the madness in your eyes

I am Sorrow

I am Death

I am in darkness but I cannot see the light

I want to see the light but can't find the way

I dream of you but it is only a dream

I go mad day by day

I want to die but I live only for you

I think of you all the time each time it hurts

I know you’re not here it cuts me so deep

I am going mad

I have lost my soul

I am lost in a dream a dream of madness





By Gary


COMMENTS

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What am I?

17:18 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 587


What am I?



What am I who I am where am I going.

I sit in bed thinking about all this.

All I can see is that little kid I used to be the one that was all ways alone.

The one everyone used to make fun of and no one liked.

Where do I fit in this world?

Start to think of my life and how I try to hide from people to keep from getting hurt.

I close my eyes and start to go to sleep as I do I start to dream.

Am I a Devil are am I an Angel.

Is this heaven or hell?

If I am a Devil that makes you an Angel an Angel so soft to the touch with eye’s that light up the shy.

My sweet angel I call out your name in hopes you come to me.

I hear your voice say I am here.

As I look into your eyes are eye’s lock and we are one as we move close to each other.

I am so happy you’re here I have missed you so much.

I hear you say I have missed you all so.

I wish you would smile more you look so good when you smile.

I tell her I am smiling just on the inside.

I pull you close into my arms and I hold you so close in my arms as we kiss I feel your lips on mine.

Your lips feeling so good on mine feeling the hungry in your kiss feeling your need and wants. We stop for a minute and you look at me and you ask me what do you want from this?

I told you before but maybe you did not listen to me.

But before I could talk we kiss my hands moving over your body needing your touch feeling your kiss wanting it so bad.

As I look into your eyes once more I tell you.

What you give me is a gift I am happy with any gift you give me.

You say you want to give me more.

Once more are lips lock into a wild kiss then I spank your ass two times I can feel your body wanting more needing more.

Are kisses become wilder my hands moving all over your body pulling you so close.

I can feel your lust your hungry your needs and your wants.

Kissing you wild and pulling your hair back kissing your neck my hands feeling your body needing your touch.

I look at you and you say you have to go.

We kiss a few times not wanting to go.

So I say one more kiss and then you have to go.

So we kiss your lips feeling so good on mine wish we could just stop time and it only be us. Then you give me one more kiss and walk off. Waking up from this dream it seemed so real.

I want to tell you about it but I am not sure how to tell you about it.

I am not sure how you would take it.

I am not that person whose dreams come true.

I am just a dreamer. But I hope one day my dream will come true.

I am not sure I can be the person you need me to be.

I am not sure what we are.

All I know it’s more than just us and I do not want to hurt you.

I am not good for anyone.

I am the lost one.


COMMENTS

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Good bye

17:17 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 588


Good bye



I had that dream the one where I am all alone and I am looking for you.

I am calling your name but I can’t find you.

I am so lost without you.

I keep looking for you calling your name.

When I do find you I am so happy.

You are in bed like you never left me.

I get back in bed and I hold you close to me.

But then you’re gone and I am so lost without you.

I go crazy trying to find you.

Lost in fear I am calling out your name.

So I keep looking for you.

Then I see you running off from me.

So I run after you trying to talk to you.

I see you running up the stairs into a room made up from glass.

You have fear in your eyes I am not sure why but you want to hide from me.

Then I see a copy of you running at me all mad.

Then I wake.

I know I am sorry on how we said good bye.

I did not mean to hurt you.

Just had a feeling I lost you and it hurt me so much.

But after the fight we had it was so hard to face you.

Lost in my own world not sure what to do without you.

I cannot stop dreaming about you.

It is me all ways looking for you.

I am always trying to get you to talk to me.

I do not know what to do.

All I know is you’re not in my life any more.

But I cannot get you out of my dreams.

Now I say good bye

I do not want you in my life





By Gary


COMMENTS

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Pain

17:16 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 590


Pain



When I first seen your smile it was the light of my soul

When I first heard your voice it was a voice of an Angel

You was all I could think of

You was all I ever wanted

You are the love of my life

You are the part that makes me whole

Each day with you was a dream and a nightmare

If I could do it all over I would only love you that much more

You are the reason I go on each and every day

You’re my love and my life

You give my life hope and you give me meaning

Now without you I am lost

All I feel in the pain of life without you

These tears I cry are my love for you and the pain I feel without you

I only want to be with you once more

I cry I sing knowing you hear me to let you know I did not forget you

I cannot forget you my love without you I am so lost

I am dying inside the pain I feel lets me know I am still alive

I will be with you my love just wait for me





By Gary J McIntosh



This poem is made to honor Johnny Cash

I do not think this is are will ever be as great as anything he has done just my way saying thank you for all the great songs he left us here



This poem is how I think he would feel after losing his love in my words that is


COMMENTS

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One day

17:15 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 591


One day



One day

One hope

One dream

One wish

One last good bye

Noting to but dream

Am I real are am I just a dream

The pain I feel is it real

If I hope it’s all a dream will it all go away

I watch I wait

Things happen I am not sure why

I am a fool with noting but hope

I give in to my hate but it’s stupid

I think of right is right but at times I am wrong

I want to throw it all away only to worry what will happen next

There things I do not get

There things I see but do not really see

There times in my life I wish I could fix

Who am I really and why am I here

What is really here if you do not see where you really are?

One day I did think and I did dream


COMMENTS

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I love you Angel

14:51 Aug 27 2012
Times Read: 598


I love you Angel



I love you Angel

I do not tell you because I cannot it hurts me too much.

I cannot say the words because if I do I think I will lose you.

If I say the words I am not sure it will come true.

I think I will wake up from this dream.

I fear I am no good for you.

I am no good for anyone.

I do not see why you want to be with me.

I do not see what you see in me.

I do not get this

It’s hurt too much inside

I am evil

I am the shadow that grows

I will only bring you pain

I cannot give you what you need

I cannot be your Angel

Only be your Devil

I want to own you

So I know your mine

I want you to give yourself to me

This is all I know

I am in so much pain

I hurt so much

I can only say how I feel in my poems

I am crying inside

Why am I like this?

Why can I never really smile?

Why do I feel so alone?

Does anyone really see me?

If so why you do not see my pain?

I am so alone in this world

Are you really my Angel?

Am I dreaming all this?

I hurt so much

I do not know what is real any more

All I know is my pain

And the shadows I hide in

I need to sleep

I need to dream

I need to find love

I need my Angel

I have stopped time it self

What power do I have?

Who am I really?

I am the Angel that watches over you

I am the Devil who wants to own you

I am all this and so much more

I am the fool

I am the mad man

I am me

Write write

Write something

Give your life meaning

Why do I do this?

Why do I give into it all?

Why not just stop?

No one gets me

I do not know

I am lost

I am crying

I hate to cry

I cannot let you see the real me

I am a shadow


COMMENTS

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